Sadie Flashback
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Name: Sadie Denes
Age: 24
Occupation: Writer
Headshot
Bodyshot:
Round One
I was actually relieved to spend some “group time” with Jonas. If anything this will be the perfect opportunity to get to know him on a friendship level before jumping straight into the most romantic situation. I promised myself I wouldn't try too hard to fall in love. Only on the account that if he ends up not falling for me... me trying so hard to convince him that I was someone else would play in my mind over and over again. I also didn't want to force a connection that isn't there, thats just like pretending to be interested for the sake of television and thats definitly not my intentions.
I knew that on this date, most of the girls would be fighting to stand out... doing whatever they could to gain his attention, but I decided to take the laidback approach and let it just happen magically.
Maybe all my stories were finally getting to me to actually believe that would happen...
We arrived at mini golf and it was just so CUTE!! The set up was brillant and the colors really stood out. It was full of personality and looked like we would all have a lot of fun.
One problem though... I wasn't so big on golfing. I obviously done it before but that still didn't mean I am the best at it.
“Hey Jonas, don't judge me on my golf skills,” I said playfully. He smiled.
“ I'll help you all if you need it,” he said solely looking at me. It definity could have been my emagination or was that playful flirting? I haven't had much experience in that matter so I couldn't tell the difference; I'd like to think it was but I can never tell.
.
Jonas was the hot item of the day and after the first 30mins of the date, the competition started to fire up. Girls were wisking him away left and right and I was a tad disappointed that I still didn't get my lessons. :lol: Me and Ruth figured it would be awhile so we decided to chill out eat something and relax.
We talked and it was very insightful. Discussing some of the girls in the house and their mixture of personalities. It really opened up my eyes to a lot of things.
Soon enough Jonas was finally free and headed in the direction of me and Ruth. With Ruth being there I didn't feel pressured to be completely perfect... so we both hoped up in hopes of getting those lessons.
“ Ruth, Sadie!! You ladies look relaxed,” he smiled barely within reaching range.
I nodded.
“Maybe we can get those lessons now? I'm getting tired of hitting trees and defensless animals,” I laughed.
He smiled and agreed.
Unbelievably he wasn't all talk. He was a great teacher!
Ruth already had the golf thing down but I was more of a challenge.
With a few innocent bystanders in my past I figured it would take a little more then a miracle to turn me into the next tiger woods.
When it was time for me to give it a go I was completely nervous to not make myself look like a dork in front of Jonas and the rest of the girls. He spent a good number of minutes teaching us how to do it correctly and if I just screwed it all up I would never forgive myself.
I looked akwardly over to him and he suddenly noticed my insecurity.
He tilted his head like a confused puppy and then walked up to where I was standing.
“ I don't want to screw up and you think that these lessons were a complete waste,” I spilled.
He smiled sweetly and decided to help me out.
“ Here... Remember the form,” he said assisting me.
“ Y.e..ss..” I stuttered. Then we both swung almost insync.
The ball seemed to move in slow motion and all the other girls watched as it went directly into the hole. I was so pleased!!
I looked at Jonas with excitement and instinctivly leaped into his arms.
We all celebrated as if we just won the super bowl.
“ With that swing, I think you just earned yourself some alone time,” he smiled playfully
~*~*~*~
We found ourselves hidden in a patch of sunflowers. It was completely quiet and we were finally in solitude.
This was the first time since our first encounter that we were alone and slowly the butterflies were forming.
“ and you said you couldn't golf,” he said looking at me with innocent eyes.
I was nervous about what he would ask me next. I wanted him to get to know me but my life wasn't as glamorous as the rest of the girls.
I was scared to death that he would find out I'm the most boring person in the world and wouldn't want anything to do with me....
“Tell me about your novels,” he asked with curious eyes.
I look at his watch trying to wonder if I could bare to bore him for the next 10 mins or try to make an ever lasting impression. I decided to stick to my explaination of my novels and in a way I think he knew that it would really open up doorways. If you understood my novels.. you could understand me.
~*~*~
“.... and of course in the end of it they end up falling in love.The father was just the connecting factor to get the two of them together and throughout all the fighting and there was a deep and desperate connection waiting to happen,” I said finally finishing.
Immiediatley after I finished he looked at his watch and I knew where that was headed. Oh NO! I did bore him to death!
Upon seeing this I quickly shut my mouth... along with my heart.
Somewhere between the beginning and the end of the story I forgot all about the girls and about this competition.
“ Sadie..” he says noticing the sudden change in my personality. I look at him waiting for him to dismiss me from this alone time. He grabbed my hand softly and my heart began to race.
“ It was really interesting... but we just gotta get back,” he said sincerly.
I nodded and swallowed hard. I felt as if I was just getting to open up to him and just going out there would make me revert back to my old mold.
We walked sliently towards the rest of the group, straight out of our patch of solitude. He was greeted by many of the girls bouncing with excitment... while my excitment... well some of mine had disappeared.
I admit I was beginning to feel some sort of jealousy and I found myself comparing my own traits with the others.
Overall it was stupid of me to let my mind drift to the point where the competition was non-existing and most importantly It was stupid of me to let him in... only to soon shut him out.
~*~*~*~*~
Mini task & Round Two
I read the letter twice hoping to decode a hidden joke somewhere, but there was nothing.
I was excited that I made an impression but I was even more excited that I would get to see him again.
When we got there it was pretty clear. . . it would be mini golfing all over again. A group of wonderful girls swarming around one incredible guy, and because of this I again decided to be Sadie, taking the defence approach.
During most of the first half of the day all of us were basically in reaching range.
Me being the Christopher Columbos I was; ventured downstairs and found hidden in the back a game room. I called out to the rest of the group and they came running in. It was awesome! A pool table, a few arcade games and fooseball table were scattered throughout the room.
Through all of the talking a friendly suggestion of a pool game came up. The losers would have to do something crazy, like a wild dance for Jonas in front of everybody and the winner got bragging rights.
Although Ruth (my partner) was keeping up with the girls all on her own, because of my lack of exprience we ended up dancing. It was humiliating at first but to our surprise Jonas hoped up with us and joined. It was A LOT
of fun, and although he stole the spotlight, I didn't mind. I know those girl were wishing they threw the game since we all of a sudden were looking like the winners.
After the dancing and the crazy pool game me and Jonas lefted the game room. I didn't know where he was taking me but if it was alone with him it would be the perfect location. I admit I was curious and everytime I asked him about it he would raise his eyebrows and speak in a funny tone... "You'll know soon enough grasshopper" He was reminding me more and more like my friends back home and it was beginning to really comfort me.
When we reached the destination I was completely at awe. We were on the lowest level of the yacht and there it was... the sea. I couldn't believe my eyes.
I looked at him in silence and he smiled back.
" Do you like it?" he asked. I couldn't find the words to say how much I DID like it, so I just stood there nodding and smiling.
" Even in the most shallow waters... you can find something beautiful," he whispered.
We stood there watching the open sea for almost 30mins. He explained some of the fish, told me things about his life and I shared my same expriences. It was the perfect location.... the perfect moment.
The rest of the night was just as incredible as the early hours but like every fairytale, it had to end.
Just before the yacht went into the dock I had to say goodbye. My heart was racing and I felt the urge to kiss him.
Concert
Being the gentlemen Jonas was he called me and said the concert choice was completely up to me. He made it clear that he was up for anything, but I still was a little iffy about introducing him to my taste of music. I'm in love with hip hop, however on most days the lyrics can't be repeative and about nothing, it has to mean something more then cars, girls and money. I didn't have to do much searching to find out that Lupe Fiasco was performing this coming friday. I figured it would be awesome to see him perform because I knew his lyrics were real and a lot of fun. Over the phone Jonas seemed excited about my genre chocie and that definitly meant everything to me.
When he picked me up at the hotel I barely recognized him! He was in baggy clothing, sun glasses and had a white du-rag on. I was in so much shock that I almost swallowed the gum I was chewing.
“ Jonas?!” I laughed.
“ Whats up mama'. Do like my new threads?” he said posing in a gangsta position.
“ You look really.... cute,” I laughed.
He smiled at me and then busted out into a freestyle.
" J's goin to a concert, then gonna eat dessert, nothing else could hurt.
Imma be chillin with Sadie, a real cool lady... she aint shady, (pauses) with dessert."
" Jonas," I smiled, this time attempting to be abit serious. His rap wasn't the greatest in the world and I knew he was trying really hard to either impress me or fit in with some hip hop crew. I didn't know how to tell him that I wanted him to be himself, thats the guy I've been hanging out with.
He stopped freestyling and looked at me. I couldn't tell what he was thinking but I could tell he knew exactly what I was.
“ Do I look as silly as I feel?" he finally asked.
“ ... Jonas, you don't look silly. You just don't look like Jonas,” I smiled.
" Your a sweetheart Sadie, but I just tried to... well you know," he sighed.
" Yeah, I know," I said holding his hand in comfort. I knew everything and anything about wanting to fit in and impressing people. Heck I knew so much I should write a book on it.
" My bestfriend said it was a bad idea when I invaded his closet! Geez, He's never going to let me live this down." he smiled removing his shades.
" We don't have to tell him, our secret," I nudged. He smiled at me and my heart skipped a beat. It was so warm and gentle that you couldn't help but feel attracted to it. No matter what kind of clothing he wore, he'd always be Jonas.
He decided it would be the best idea if he'd run back to his place for a quick minute to change his clothing. I didn't mind waiting a few more minutes considering we had the whole night to see each other.
When he returned I was more then excited. He looked like Jonas, and I knew that he would be comfortable in the clothing he wore. He waved me to come, since we were already running late. I ran to the car, heels where no match for me and I leaped into the passenger side.
" Theres Jonas," I whispered leaning into his ear. A smile grew on his face and I copied it. Finally we were off.
The concert was amazing!! The music was loud, the beats were tight and the lyrics were great. I was really enjoying myself. Jonas got us "seats" near the stage but I don't think anyone was sitting down during this concert.
I didn't know Jonas was a Lupe Fiasco fan, but it turns out he knew most of the lyrics and really impressed with when he rapped along with Lupe.
It was like my own private concert in one ear and it was like the butterflies in my stomach were dancing. :lol:
He wasn't a bad dancer either, in fact he was really good. I wasn't really focusing it on it the entire time but when he first started to move I couldn't help but notice "this guy pretends like he's hip hop challenged".
All and all the concert was a GREAT time. It was like I was hanging out with my friends back home again, and the pressure of a romantic connection wasn't directly there. Sure I thought of the perfect time to make the perfect romantic move but as soon as he said something really funny or the song changed beats, my mind drifted and it decided to focused on the moment.
The music had gradually gotten louder and Jonas' lyrics were lost to the music.
Soon enough I was getting hot, sweaty and I thought it was time for me to cool down.
" I'M GETTING SOME SNACKS DO YOU WANT ANYTHING," I yelled trying to overpower the music.
" WHAT!!" he replied.
" SNACKS DO YOU WANT ANY?!" I screamed even louder. He looked at me confused and shrugged his shoulders. I decided that all this screaming and yelling was good for nothing but a sore throat. So I stopped and took his hand and lead him through a sea of people.
When we approached the vender he nodded and clued in.
" snacks?" he asked.
" Yes," I smiled.
" Why didn't you say something before?" he said slyly.
" Hey! You knew what I said," I said squinting my eyes.
" Yeah but it was fun to watch you yell," he laughed.
" Well it was fun to watch you dance," I teased.
I busted out into laughter. " WAS I THAT BAD?"
I didn't want to feed his ego, I had a brother with a big enough ego as it was. I didn't need a boyfriend with one.
" Yes you were terrible," I smiled playfully. He tickled me and then I couldn't help but spill the truth.
" Okay... okay. You can dance," I said still holding my sides.
He eventually stopped and I eventually stopped laughing.
Other than Lupe Fiasco and thousands of people screaming in the background it was somewhat quiet between us. I was afraid and I wanted to avoid this sort of silence all night. It was akward, oh no! It was just the perfect moment for something romantic to happen, and I'm a total klutz under those circumstances.
I noticed that Jonas can pick up on any sudden changes in my body language and it scared me to think he would pick up on this change.
" Honest truth," he said taking my hand. My eyes widen wondering what he's going to ask me.
" Yes," I reply almost in a whisper.
...
.....
" Can I, or Can't I dance," he says easing the romantic tension. I smile and sigh.
" Honest truth... You can dance," I said honestly.
He smiled praising himself inside. He deserved to be praised but it was my job to keep that at a humble level. I couldn't have Jonas running off to join hip hop dancing competitions left and right.
" But.... Your still hip hop challenged," I teased.
We both bursted into laughter and I knew that not even I could inflate or deflate this guys ego, he was too genuine to change under any circumstances.
-----------------
After the concert I figured that was it. I already attended the concert of my lifetime and I was looking forward to squelling to the girls about how much fun I had. However we drove by the hotel and I looked at Jonas as if to where are we going? He shot a sly look back at me and mouthed the word, "surprise" to me. I became antsy in my seat as we took a dirt road up a hill. He parked the car and I walked out amazed.
We were on top of a hill which over looked a good portion of the park. I could even see the hotel from up there.
" Wow Jonas, This is incredible I can see everything. This is like the perfect spot," I said.
" I'm glad you like it," he smiled.
We just spent the rest of the night up there watching the stars and the cars go by. Talking a lot of nothing but sometimes nothing means everything.
I wanted to live in that moment forever.
" Thank you Sadie," He spoke softly. I couldn't figure out why HE was thanking ME. I mean I should be the one thanking him.
" Thank me?! Oh No!! THANK YOU Jonas. I mean this was like incredible!! It was one of the best nights in my life. The concert was perfect, this view is perfect, this country is beautiful, the stars are beautiful, your ..."
He then kissed me. Right in the middle of the sentence. It was nothing that could have been planned or thought out in my crazy little mind, instead the perfect moment turned out to be something completely unexpected.
" ... Thanks for that," he whispered slowly pulling away.
At the time my mind couldn't really understand what had just happened so I tried my hardest to at least remember.
He smiled at me; apart of me didn't want to look at him incase for some bizare reason he came to a conclusion that I wasn't the one he thought he was kissing. However at the same time I couldn't look away.
After that we didn't talk much, instead we danced the night away. Dipping included.
It was indeed the perfect moment.
~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Round Three
Sunday
All For You
Jonas arrived on a rainy sunday afternoon. I haven't seen him for three weeks but I missed him incredibly. I spent a few weeks getting back into my old mold and sharing some of my experiences with my friends and family. They were extremely excited to meet him but I was a little nervous about introducing him to them. It's not that there unwelcoming or anything, but my familys just a tight group of people who just really loved each other. I would be lying if I said I introduced boyfriends to my family before. My nanas crazy rule is always "Bring the one your gonna marry."
They were definitly going to make a big deal over Jonas and I didn't want him to feel awkward at any moment.
When he came to my home I didn't know how to approach him. Did he still have feelings for me? However either way that wouldn't stop my feelings towards him. I was extremely excited to see him but I tried to keep my composure deciding to let him make the first move.
" JONAS, Welcome," I said warm and gentle, trying ever so hard not to let my instincts go. He simply smiled. Did he forget my name.
He then quickly kissed my lips and then held me in a secure hug. It was so sweet! Maybe he did remember me afterall. The butterflies in my stomach started turning all over again and for a few weeks I completely thought I had got over this problem.
But as soon as he held me they returned.
" I missed you," he whispered.
------
Dinner went really well. I had a caterer cook us lobsters and although I could possibly be allergic to it, I figured Jonas would appreciate them. He was used to fancy foods and I really didn't want to make him feel out of place.
He asked me what I've been up to and it was exciting to see him run around the questions I asked him about his 3 week bachelor party. Honestly I understood how he wanted to keep the experiences seperate but am I such a bad person to want to know about my competition. *laughs*
From what he did tell me he was having the time of his life. He was all about family and if it was anyone who'd be on vacation with over 5 different families in over a few weeks, it'd be him.
I was really enjoying his company and It was a day for us to gain back what we had. I was so into his conversation that I didn't dare touch the lobster, that and the fact that I'd probaly pass out.
"Sadie, you haven't touched your lobster," he said noticing.
Oh No! Now I had three chocies a head of me, to either create a lie, possibly die of an allergic reaction or possibly die of embarassment.
I looked at the lobster and I looked at Jonas. I looked at the lobster again and then my eyes feel upon Jonas. I couldn't lie to him, I've gotten this far without lying and I wouldn't start now.
"... the thing is... I may be allergic to Lobster," I said softly. I could feel his eyes shifting from a playful attitude to one much more serious.
" Sadie!!! What!? Why would you!?" he gently scolded.
" ... Jonas.. I know the life your used to and I want you to be comfortable here," I said softly looking down at the plate.
It didn't sound like a bright idea out in the open but in my head it was a great one. My eyes were planted on that lobster. Gawd I hated it. I wouldn't dare look up to see his eyes give me "that look" the one saying "this chick is a case."
" are you... mad at me?" I asked.
He was quiet for a moment and then he spoke.
" I don't know whether to be flattered because you were thinkin of me or angry because you almost killed my incredible date," he stated playfully.
I raised my head and noticed his eyes were completely genuine. I loved that about him. I stuck out my tongue playfully and he began to laugh.
After that we cleared the table, ordered chinese and checked out the apprentence. May not seem so romantic, but to me it .... was everything romantic.
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Monday
Meet the parents
Last night I told Jonas all there was to know about my family. The sum of it was;
My dad is a retired Social worker who currently coaches a community basketball team. My mom is a retired nurse who puts on plays at the community center. My brother is a business man and a model, who is a newlywed of 2 years and just gave birth to a beautiful babygirl and the rest of my family, My grandmother and her posie? Well he'll have to wait until Saturday to get to know them.
They were way too exicted to see him. I admit I prepped them on the do's and don'ts of what to ask and what not to ask. However I knew just by looking at them it went in one ear and out the other.
They greeted us with tons of smiles. Embracing Jonas as they did my sister-in-law and unfortunately mom started early with the don'ts.
"Wow Sai! He looks like Jonathon," she squealed still holding onto Jonas. I couldn't believe it, did she honestly forget so soon? Jonas smiled as if he was posing to BE even more like Jonathon. I couldn't help but feel a little humor in this circumstance.
" Whose Jonathon," he asked with wondering eyes.
" Jonathon was Sadie's old elementary crush," smiled my mom. That was in fact the only crush I did end up telling her about since she squealed to every living creature about it. She wonders why I don't share anything with her.
" Mom, I was how old," I said rolling my eyes.
Unlike me, Jonas seemed to find the fun in this. He feed off of my mother like she was a plate, asking random silly questions about how serious we were. I was 8! How serious could we be? *laughs* I knew I'd never hear the end of this.
I am happy to say that Jonathon was a good ice breaker. It was comforting in that sense and that sense alone.
While we were all talking and they were getting to know Jonas a tiny voice, almost as soft as a whisper cried out for our attention. Jonas' eyes darted at me and I gave off a cute smile. Jonas had been around babies almost all the time and I knew he would completely fall in love with my niece Aaliyah.
We quickly approached Aaliyah and she smiled at the sight of me. She was almost two months old and I couldn't believe how bright she had gotten.
" May I?" Jonas asked looking at my brother.
" Of course," he replied
"Aaliyah... beautiful girl," he smiled holding her in his arms.
It was nice to see him like that. I knew at that moment he was thinking about his God daughter.
" I think she likes you," my brother stated.
" She always crys when strangers pick her up but I guess your an exception." his wife added.
He was an exception. This guy was a kid magnet, almost like the stork in sheeps clothing.
He'd be a great dad and I was looking forward to him hanging out with my amazing father too.
" John has the touch," my mom joined. Great now she'll be calling him John for the rest of his stay.
"It's Jonas ma!" I corrected annoyed.
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Tuesday
Two Kids in The Park
The park is where I go to get inspiration. The fresh air really does me good, it's so much better than being completely locked up in the house all day. I thought it'd be great for me and Jonas to go have a pinic in the park. I brought the snacks and my notebook, and he brought Jonas. Great DEAL!
It was extra busy today, must have been an inservice, but none the less Jonas liked watching the kids play. We had the causal kiss and it was really sweet and romantic. Nothing exclusive like making out with tons of kids around, I think it was pretty G rated. *laughs* I hardly got any writing done, but I must say ... I've never been so insprired in my life.
------
Wednesday
Daddies Girl
Ever since I was a little girl I was playing basketball. Mainly because I was a complete Tomboy but also because my family was so into it that it just became apart of everyday life. It became so much more than just a game to me. As long as I can remember my dad was always a big part of the game. He taught me everything I knew as a young child and he has been coaching as long as I can remember.
I gave it up in my University years because I knew I had to focus solely on school. However my dad never gave up coaching and every week I would attend his team games. It not only brought back memories it also created a special tradition that we both shared.
Me and Jonas decided it would be amazing to check out one of his basketball games. I warned him that they weren't the most skilled young ladies but they were trying their best and were very good for their age. He was excited none the less and I was excited to show him this part of my world.
We arrived and the smile instantly grew on my dads face. The game had already begun and we could tell by the yo-yo start it was going to be a close game. I knew most of the community girls and I even attended some of their practices so I was really rooting for the win!
My dad hadn't had an assistant coach for the game and considering it was a close game he figured he could use some help.
At half time he waved Jonas over and from what I can tell he asked him to help out.
Jonas jogged back over to me and asked if it was okay.
" Sadie, Your dad needs a little help over there. Could I maybe help him out or do you want my company," he said with a curious look.
It was so sweet of him to think about me but it was even more sweet that him and my dad would get the chance to build something.
" ummm... Go for it," I smiled.
A big smile grew on his face as he jogged back over.
" YOU BETTER WIN," I yelled to him.
He smiled and blew me a kiss. I tried my hardest not to blush as some of the parents glanced in my direction.
From what I can see, and from what Dad told me, he gave the girls the pep talk of their life. They were really pumped and they were ready for the win!
However the game was still in yo-yo form!! I was at the edge of my seat and I could tell the coaches were biting their nails to nubs.
In the end the girls did end up winning. They pulled away with a 30-28 win and Jonas was extremely proud of his victory.
The girls had really taken to him!! They were very happy with his attitude and approach to the game. When it was time for so longs they thanked him by attacking him with tons of hugs!!
"HEY GIRLS I HAVE ENOUGH COMPETITION!" I laughed.
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Thrusday
Dancing Queen
On Thursday I figured I'd do something completely different and step out of my causal mold. If I couldn't be bold and outgoing with someone I've gained a connection with. than who can I be bold with?
I convinced my self to go dancing. Completely romantic! No hip hop music, no fast body movements to the beats, just a completely romantic slow dance. I'm what you call a bedroom dancer! I have the moves but my personality doesn't really go with them.
However I felt this was something I had to overcome and It was Jonas who would help me get through it.
We stopped at a resturant to eat a late dinner first. I was kinda hoping he'd forget about our previous plans since the butterflies in my stomach and the sweat on my palms were not mixing well. Eating with Jonas had now become a second nature. It was completely natural and causal, pretty much spontaeous and we could discuss anything.
" Enough small talk. May I have this dance," he smiled getting up from his seat. I remembered my prom experience of declining a dance from an incredible guy. If I declined this dance I'm sure I would be regretting it for the rest of my life.
" .... Why not," I slowly sighed getting up.
" Hey now! I don't know about you but I'm excited to dance with you in front of all these people. I mean honestly!! How many guys in this room right now can honestly say they waltz with thee Sadie Denes," he smiled pulling me into a waltz.
All I could was smile. Thee Sadie Denes. Whats so special about thee Sadie Denes?
" Thee Sadie Denes! The girl who wrote Untouched and the Left Side. Both of which won two african canadian writers awards, " he said in a loud tone as if to show me off.
" Jonas... You did your research," I whispered.
" Well I had some spare time in the past three weeks," he whispered back.
I was on a cloud, not even noticing we were indeed waltzing. All I knew is that we were together, the music was playing and I was completely in blitz.
Jonas is one incredible guy.
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Friday
Welcome to my world
It was Friday and me and Jonas had spent the day together just chillin and hanging out at various places in the city. I had a great time! Tomarrow Jonas would get the chance to meet some more of my family, the core of them. Usually we would meet at my nannas on sunday afternoon for dinner but we figured Saturday would be best considering Jonas was leaving Sunday morning. Since Jonas' hotel is a ways away from my nannas house and I'm even closer, he'd spend the night at my place. He'd take the guest room of course.
For once in my life I thought it would be a good idea for a guy to come over and spend the night, considering it was purely innocent and friendly.
I gave him the complete tour of my place, bathrooms, livingrooms and guestroom included.
After I showed him the last room in my house, my bedroom, I figured we could spend the rest of the night checking out some of my favorite movies.
However .... Jonas had other plans.
" Hey Sai, You forgot this room," He said pointing to a locked door next to my bedroom. I swallowed hard. I was hoping and praying he wouldn't ask me about THAT room.
" ummm... It's nothing just an extra room," I smiled innocently. He definitly could read me like a book and I knew he wasn't buying it. He just looked at me as if to say spill.
" It's private..." I said quietly. His expression changed to one confused. After that he didn't ask any questions about it but I knew he was dying to know.
" (pause) Jonas," I cried attempting to explain myself.
" Sadie. It's okay! (pause) I get it! I do! Your not ready to let me in... completely," he smiled sincerely.
I felt like a complete idiot of course. It was just a room and it was completely coming off like I didn't have feelings for him. I did, I really did but this was room was my heaven. It was in deed my world away from the world and if I let him in completely this world would become somewhat different.
"Okay Jonas. I'm ready to let you in but you have to promise that you won't think I'm completely nuts?" I said embarassed.
" I couldn't think that if I tried," he smiled.
I ran in my room and got the key. I opened the door and there it was...
My heaven.
" Well this is it? This is where I go to yah know, reflect. Get lost in my mind. I have stuff from when I was a kid in here and I love it because that will always be apart of me." I explained as we entered my room.
"Incredible," he said examining the lyrics on my wall.
" ummm. Those are just a collection of my favorite things I've written in my .... lifetime. It's reminds me of the inspiration behind them." I said shyly.
His eyes focused on the guitar.
" You play?!" He said shocked. My mouth dropped trying to find a good reason to get out of a possible song request however nothing came out.
" Wow. Theres so much I don't know about you," he said stunned.
Maybe it was a bad idea after all. I should have waited. He was slowly coming off as the person who wasn't completely ready to be in my world.
If he thought he knew so little about me, that really scared me and could that damage my chances.
" You know a lot about Me Jonas. This is just apart of me," I explained.
" A big part of you," he smiled.
" Play me something," he said intrigued.
I was already so deep into my own life that to denie doing something now would just be completely useless. He was already in. One song wouldn't change that. I picked up my guitar, smiled at Jonas and began to sing.
...
Throughout my song I would't dare look at him. I knew that if I did I would completely fumble over all my worlds. When I was finished I placed my guitar down waiting for a response. He was completely speechless. Whether that was a good thing? I didn't have a clue. I wanted to find out though.
" Jonas ah. What did you think?" I asked.
He suddenly pulled me close to him.
" Do you have to ask? Your Sadie Denes!" he joked.
" thee Sadie Denes"
All I could do was laugh. He really made me feel special. No one made me feel that way before.
Saturday
All in the Family
Our family is pretty chill.
I introduced Jonas to all my cousins, and my grandparents and they seemed to really embrace him more like a family friend than another "boyfriend". I was really proud of them and I never expected them to have an attraction to him like they did. It was great!!
Jonas was clearly fitting into my family better then I could have predicted. The guys, him included, all crowded around the TV to check out the football game. They were sharing stories and totally connecting. I could always see him there. It just looked... natural.
We had a BBQ that afternoon and where theres a BBQ theres a party.
Jonas helped out with the ribs and I couldn't resist "kissing the cook"
My family loved jonas! My cousins said he was an amazing guy to hangout with, my father said he was a really polite gentleman, my mom said he was very good in the kitchen and my nana said he was definitly marriage material.
All this I knew before hand but it was great they got a chance to see it for theirselves.
I was worried that they were falling in love with him. I couldn't let them get too close considering this wasn't a sure thing.
Saying Goodbye
Saying goodbye was the hardest thing I'd have to do. I was really falling for him and I was falling hard. He was everything and anything, any girl could wish for and it somewhat broke my heart to know that this week had passed so quickly.
I went to his hotel early that morning to help him pack, and to mainly just see him one more time.
We barely spoke to one another and I felt the reason being, it was just to hard.
It was two hours to his flight and I knew the Taxi would be there any moment. I had to get out any last words so I could tell him exactly what was going on in my mind and how much I appreciated the time we spent together.
" Jonas... If I never see you again I wanna let you know that I had a great time with you this week and I never would have expected to feel this way towards anyone!!! You make me smile when I feel completely worthless and you make me feel special when my life feels completely dull! And even if this is goodbye I just wanted to tell you that...." I rambled on.
" shhhhhhh," he said softly cutting off my sentence. He kissed me gently.
---
" Goodbye Jonas," I smiled.
" Even if this is goodbye, lets go with... See yah later," he smiled.
" Okay. See you later Jonas," I said holding back my tears.
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