Kibby Flash Back
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Application
Name: Kibby Blackwood
Age: 24
Location: California
Occupation: Photographer
Zodiac Sign: Taurus
Tell us a little about you:
I'm an only kid, but I feel like I have a million other brothers and sisters in this world.
Some people think it's a little odd how I make a connection with everyone I meet, but I just think that's the way it should be. If we can all get a long, view each other as family then what a simpler world this would be.
That's why I got into photography. My favorite thing is taking peoples portraits!
There's no such thing as a bad picture, everything has a story behind it and that's what makes it beautiful.
I also love colors, patterns and unique accessories. I'm not really into mainstream fashion, I like local hand made stuff!
If everyone supported local businesses, the consumer experience would become way more personal!
Why do you think you are the perfect one for this show? Just because I guess. It's a new experience and I'm willing to try it out. I'm just ready to have a ton of fun, make new friends and just experience the beauty of new York with six other people!
What you have that the others don’t have? Well. . . I'm sure every applicant has something to offer the show, but since I tend to compliment other peoples personalities, I can get along with anyone.
What is the craziest thing you ever do? Tell us! Oh My Gosh. One time when I was volunteering at an animal shelter, I broke into it. . . and well. . . rescued the animals.
The center had good intentions but it became overcrowded. Some animals were unable to be placed and I couldn't live with myself if anything happened to them.
It was the craziest thing I ever did and I'm so lucky that they didn't prosecute! In fact, although they told me I wasn't allowed at the shelter anymore, they told me I could keep the dogs! After living with the dogs for a bit, I was able to find a home with a cousin in the country. I visit and check up on them once in awhile.
Mini task
~*Round One*~
So far, life in the real world has been like something I've never experienced.
The house is filled with a variety of different personalities and since walking through that door I knew some would clash more then others.
Over the past couple of weeks, I've made a few instant friends. Developed these relationships into something more, while trying to find a shred of kindness in those whose surfaces, seems so rough.
I was a bit worried about Cheyenne when she came to me and Lidia for a makeover.
My whole philosophy about life focuses on embracing yourself as you are, but she's young; an instant friend and infatuated with someone in the house.
Based my own share of acceptance stories (yes. even I have them). . . I understood where she was coming from and I was happy to help.
The transformation was simple. She was gorgeous before the hair, makeup and contacts. . . but underneath it all she was still the sweet quirky country gal.
Nevertheless, Antonio. . . the guy she's infatuated with, might end up overlooking the real Cheyenne, focusing who she became and missing who she really is.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Who is this rough surface I mentioned early?
Well it's a big rough surface. Pretty much monstrous .
I'm all for love peace and harmony within the house. . . but when someone like Mike is challenging everything I stand for, it's a little difficult to establish a connection.
His voice is loud and rambunctious. He butts heads with everyone and when he gets drunk the nightly events are truly a toss up.
One minute he's smiling happy, gleeful and just having the time of his life and the next minute we all suck, he wants to party like a rockstar and trash our living room.
I could almost swear I saw a glimpse of him on Americas Most Wanted one night.
Yes. He fits the profile of a few of the suspects but something about the Oregon serial killer really stands out.
So much so, that I've been kinda following up on it. I've been reading a lot about the attacks and the description of the male. . . Mike fits!
I know it's a long shot and perhaps I am overreacting but it's something about this guy; he might be a little smarter then he's letting on. . . he sure has the sociopath thing down.
~*~*~*~*~
"Mike do you HAVE to butcher your own chicken?
You know there are professionals who do that for you!" I said disgusted.
"Wheres the fun in that," he said seriously, making his way to the kitchen.
So who wants take out?
~*~*~*~
Chinatown
For a trip a few of us were assigned to go sightseeing in Chinatown and day started out incredible!
The town really set off New york; from the moment we got there, I felt the distinctiveness of the subculture all around me.
There was just too many pictures to be taken. Every where I looked it was just. . .beautiful!
The entire town was aesthetically pleasing, even more so because of it's unintentional charm. I easily became swept up in it's beauty. Focusing not on the bigger picture, but the little things that made Chinatown stand out.
Walking around the city we were looking for a few more souvenirs to bring back to the house.
Things were going well. . . but it was wishful thinking for me to believe this day wouldn't take a turn for the worst.
Mike was with us after all and some guy got wind he was in Chinatown. . . a UFC fighter apparently.
Well he decided to track Mike down so they could rekindle there love. How sweet. *rolls eyes*
They went at it right in one of the shops! I was mortified. Things were breaking! The keepers were screaming.
This isn't WWE. Real people don't start wrestling out of nowhere. I couldn't believe it.
I don't know how I did, but I ended up getting them to stop. Maybe it was my own rush of adrenaline saying stop these idiots before they destroy anything else but somehow me and Mike made our way out the back door. One of set producers exchanged information with the shop!
"Sit down please. . . let me fix you up,"
Even though I cringed at the thought of my hands brushing up against his skin, I knew I had to be the bigger person and help him out.
". . . ."
He said nothing. Instead he continued to walk around with blood gushing from his body.
He couldn't swallow his pride for one second. He couldn't see how senseless fighting is.
“Mike. . . just sit okay? Your bleeding.” I suggested again; this time tugging on his clothing.
He pulled away, loosening my grip.
The fabric quickly fell from my fingertips.
“. . . . I’ll be fine! Come on.
We still gotta get your junk and then we can go,” he huffed.
I was so sick of his ego!
He destroyed my trip to Chinatown and he didn't care. Not once did he say, Sorry for blowing up back there Kibby let alone apologize to the shop keepers.
He has such a short temper that at this point there's no doubt he's the infamous Oregon killer.
“Either you get fixed up or we’re not going anywhere,” I said blocking his way.
It was a bold move and I was scared to death but I figured the only way to get through to this guy was to look him straight in the eye. His Big, Scary, Borderline evil eyes!
I was SURE he would pick me up and throw me out of the way, but I was hoping he wouldn't call me on my bluff.
"Will it make you stop bi***ing?" he mumbled, taking a seat on the cold cement.
Rolling my eyes I knelt beside him.
~*~*~*~*~*~
Since this other guy did a number on him, I figured we would be in this position for awhile.
Any good detective would take this opportunity to get to know him. . . . which in turn would lead me one step closer to deciding whether or not this guy was the killer!
After trivial questions and countless stories about UFC, I decided to shoot the question I've been dying to ask.
“So, of all the places you've fought. . . . have you ever been to Oregon?” I smiled.
". . . Yeah, I fight there all the time. They have this really sweet arena! I remember the first guy I destroyed in Oregon.
*smiles*
I feel bad that he never got to fight again, but it's a sport right? Only the strong survive," he grinned.
So. . . . he admits to being in Oregon and destroying a guy there.
This was an interesting discovery, regardless of the context of conversation!
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
The next day I wanted to forget about everything bad that happened and just focus on the moments of the trip.
I knew just the person who could make that happen. . . . Maxx.
He's just all good stuff.
I wandered in his room to show him some pictures of the trip and give him a little souvenir; but he was in the shower. Plopping on his bed, I waited for him to be finished.
Opening the bathroom door a sweet aroma steadily filled the room. Awaken by my senses I looked up to see Maxx standing there in nothing but a towel.
My eyes widened briefly; scorning his chest and resting on his abdomen.
"... wion erwi chinatown?" he said softly. Shoot did he say something?
“. . . pardon? Sorry I wasn't. . . ”
. . . paying attention?
No. That's a lie.
I was paying attention, in fact he had my full. . .undivided attention.
“Chinatown, did you have fun?” he smiled.
“ - yeah. I ah. . . brought pictures!” I stated awkwardly.
There was this feeling in the pit of my stomach but I couldn’t understand the sudden flush of feelings.
It was obvious I had a crush on Maxx. . . who wouldn’t?
He was sexy and sweet; an all around good guy.
But when the sudden urge to be with him was so strong. . . . I knew it was only a matter of time before he realized.
Sitting next down to me I decided to concentrate on telling him about yesterdays outing.
“This one is at one of the shops,” I said, trying to keep composure.
I was failing at pretending and he knew it.
The accidental brushes of his skin against mine didn't help any either.
"Mike told me that if you wouldn't have intervened he would have 'dismembered that punk," he teased.
Even the worst of yesterday seemed okay in the presence of Maxx.
"That punk looked like he was gonna dismember him.
They're lucky all I got was a scratch. . . I would have dismembered them both," I laughed.
"You got scratched? Where?" he said genuinely concerned. It was nothing. Smaller then nothing. I had bigger scars then that on my pinky.
"Just my arm. . ." I smiled showing him. "It's pretty bad but, I'm sure I'll make it,"
His warm fingertips pressed gently on my skin. The normal sensation seems to have been greatly maximized.
Smiling at me Maxx's fingers glided from it's original spot, making their way up my forearm, passing my shoulder and resting on my cheek.
Leaning in I kissed him.
Pulling back slowly, I scanned his face.
Glaring into the surface of his world I craved to know exactly what he was thinking.
Actions spoke volumes as Maxx's towel loosened. I followed suit, removing most of my clothes.
Our intimate moment was quickly cut short as Cheyenne made her way into the bedroom.
We had been so caught up that we forgot to lock the door. Embarrassing!
She was crying when she entered. Devastated over something.
Excusing herself we could hear her weeping outside the door.
Unfortunately. The mood had passed.
Looking down at me we both understood that this was my cue to leave. Quickly dressing I asked Cheyenne what was up.
"Nussin, I just wants to talk to Maxx thats all," she fibbed. Her eyes were as big and as teary as they ever been.
She was my girl, so I knew that she would tell me when she's ready.
"Alright Chey. You know I'm here for you, whatever you need," I said hugging her.
She sobbed in my shoulders for a moment and shortly after she made her way to Maxx.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
After hanging out on the patio for a bit, I knew it was only a matter of time before I would have to face Maxx again.
Things happened so fast between us, even if we didn't go all the way everything I felt was verified.
He showed up a couple of hours later.
I hadn't even told Lidia or Chey what happened. . . even though a big part of me wanted to.
"Kibby you got a sec?" he said nervously.
"Yeah for sure," I smiled, propping up from the sofa.
". . . about what happened," he smiled.
"-before or after you kicked me out of your bedroom?" I teased playfully.
He seemed embarrassed about that because his face turned an off color shade of red.
"... I'm teasing.
Your a good friend Maxx, that's one of the things I really like about you," I smiled reaching for his hand. Hours later the slight sensation of his finger still made me melt.
"So. . . I guess this is the point where we talk about the next step?" I added, bringing up the obvious before we got preoccupied.
"Yeah, ummm and before we talk about that, there's something I have to be honest about," he said nervously.
Honest is always the best policy but I had a horrible feeling this couldn’t be good.
It would crush me if he had someone else. I would be devastated! My expression changed to a confused one. Up to this point, I didn't think there was anything he was deceiving me about.
"I'm waiting. . . to have sex," he stated.
"and I'm sure it would have happened if we weren't interrupted," I smiled back confused.
"No. *laughs* I'm waiting. I'm a virgin," he smiled.
"Your kidding," I said right away. There was NO sign of that moments before.
"I'm saving myself for someone special; my wife," he added.
"you just. . . we just?" I rambled, even more confused.
"It doesn't mean we can't, kick it? Just means we can't - he tried to explain.
" -Kick it, kick it," I finished.
"So what do you think? he said.
I was quiet. Of course it was okay. Sex was never the number one selling point when it comes to relationships with me, I was just a little taken back.
”Sex is. . . sex.
I respect that your waiting for the one. It doesn't change the way I feel about you. I want to see where this goes regardless of whether we … take that step or not," I smiled, holding his hand a little tighter.
He leaned in and kissed me. It was sweet and passionate.
I was in heaven.
. . . . . . . . . . .
"One thing though.
When you say kick it, what exactly do you mean?" I smiled pulling softly away.
". . . .why don't I show you?" he whispered just before kissing me again.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Round Two
“Is it just me or did Antonio’s pants get tighter?”
“. . . I haven’t noticed,” Chey stated softly.
“Well, I think the costumers have.
Those guys get all the good tips. I just can’t compete with the- - -,” I ranted.
“-bratwurst?” she added.
“Yes. Exactly,” I laughed.
. . . . . . . . . . .
. . . . . . . .
“Chey, You’ve been staring at him since your shift ended. . . are you sure you haven’t notice?”
It’s been awhile since the whole Antonio and Chey hook up but nothing changed since the first morning after.
The house has been tip toeing around the situation since; trying not to choose sides but praying that this all ends soon.
She remained quiet her eyes falling on her drink. She stirred in a sequenced motion but I could tell she was caught up somewhere else.
I guess that's one thing I learned to do from this job. When people get a little drink in them, it's a lot harder to hide their true emotions.
“This tension. . . this insanely passionate, pent up tension needs to be dealt with,” I smiled pouring her another drink.
She shot a smile back at me.
“Don’t know cha yah talking bout Kib. There aint any tension,” still smiling, I could see completely through her.
“Oh so I just made all that up?
You and Antonio’s awkward glances. . . that's just something I’m imagining,” I smiled.
"Yup," she giggled.
Sure it was! Everyone saw it, they weren't fooling anyone.
There was no way I was going to stand back and just watch two people, who care about each other. . . just pretend that nothing exists.
I've never played cupid before but it was worth a shot!
~*~*~*~*~
When I got off for the night I convinced Chey to stick around while I waited for Maxx's shift to end.
"Good thing about a gay bar. . . no sleezy guy to pick you up," I smiled as we danced on the dance floor.
"Dats a good thing?" she giggled.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
I noticed since we made our way to the floor Antonio and Maxx have been checking out our dance moves.
. . . . or maybe something else. We were the only girls out there, that in itself would catch their attention.
This was my cue to continue my cupid charade.
"MAXX! Play I Fell In Love With the DJ!" I yelled.
Chey shot me an awkward look while Maxx gave me thumbs up.
"What you don't like this song?" I smiled nudging her softly.
". . . it's alright," she sighed.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
By the end of the night, I was determined to figure out Antonio's mind set and figured that after he had a few he would be more eager to open up.
And boy was he eager.
I barely even got the chance to bring the up before he started to comment on Chey.
Her outfit. Her smile. She did this. I wonder if she.
I swear, if I had the real bow and arrow this all would be done with, however since I didn't. . . I needed to push a bit more.
“Why not just talk to her?” I smiled bluntly. He took another drink.
“She already thinks I’m an ass. . . so what’s the point?” he stated.
“She doesn’t think you’re an ass.
Not that she shouldn’t but Chey still hung up on you. . . doesn't matter if you screwed up or not,” I spilled.
“You think?
Your not just setting me up for failure are you?” he smiled.
“As much as you deserve that. . . no. I’m not," I laughed.
We talked for a bit more and by the end of the night, I was sure everything was in place for resolution.
I was pretty happy with myself.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Unfortunately later that night it was proven that I wasn't the cupid I thought I was.
While Maxx, me and Chey were walking in the hall we heard strange noises coming from one of the boys bedrooms.
Loud. Strange. Noises.
Wondering what was up we placed our ears on one of the walls outside while Maxx was walking by door.
Three voices emerged. Those of which included Antonio, a female and . . . another guy!
"What in the world. . ." I said hearing way more then I expected.
Maxx had stopped in his tracks. Glancing inside to see what we've already determined.
"So. . . I guess I'm crashing in your room tonight," he said.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
It seems everyone in the house has been hit by the Love bug whether or not they admit it.
Me and Maxx. Chey and Antonio.
Carlos and Lidia.
It's true, even they hooked up.
I'm not really sure about the details or how serious and how far it's gotten but I caught them sneaking around in the hot tub one night.
I was shocked because I didn't even see it coming.
"I see nothing," I stated looking in the opposite direction.
They both giggled.
"How long has this been going on" I wondered.
Also, if they've hook up whose Mike's victim . . .I mean love interest.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
One afternoon me, Carlos, Lidia and Mike were just hanging out in the living room.
It was a lazy day around the house and since working at Trendy's those didn't come up too often.
We were in the middle of a conversation about 'What kind of drunk you are' when Lidia brought up the fact that I haven't really drank since coming into the house.
“How’s it possible that you’re a bartender and we haven’t seen you wasted yet?” Lidia teased one day after work.
“I’ve have been wasted. . . just not in the real world,” I replied.
Well. . . the last time and only time I've drank to get drunk was my first year in High school.
Me and my friends got our hands on a bottle of my dads whiskey and went to town.
I don't remember most of the night but I do remember getting really sick.
So, I wasn't really thrilled to forget another night and feel like a tornado again.
“I think kibby’s an angry drunk,” Mike chimed in.
Remind me to take out my video camera the next time he goes on a drunken rampage. That will show him an angry drunk.
"I think I'm just normal when I'm a little tipsy.
I'll have to prove it to ya'll one of these days," I smiled, thinking nothing of it.
"How about tonight," Lidia smiled.
Uh Oh!
"Nah, not tonight I gotta work. I kinda wanna see this," Carlos spilled.
"We can just hang out at Trendy's then. I'm sure your not the only one who wants to see this," Lidia added.
"Yeah alright! You guys gonna show up around eleven?" Carlos asked.
"Eleven is good for me.
I'll check with the other guys," Mike said scurrying out the living room.
"Eleven it is then," Lidia smiled.
"I'm gonna get dressed for work. I'll see ya'll down there," Carlos smiled winking in my direction.
.
.
.
As the guys left Lidia and me just sat there watching TV for a few moments; until it hit me.
"Umm.. .. What just happened?" I said.
Was there ever a point where I, the coming attraction of the night, agreed to getting wasted tonight?
It all happened so fast.
"Love you Kibs!" Lidia teased, knowing good and well what she did.
"You know I'm gonna get you back right. . . who knows maybe I am an angry drunk I giggled.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Chey, Carlos and Tonio had to work that night but that sure didn't stop them from popping in on us from time to time.
From the moment I got there Lidia, Mike and Carlos started buying me drinks;
basically encouraging any possible bad behavior that was to come.
The one thing that made it easier was the fact that Maxx was enticed into participating in the drinking spurge too.
~*~*~*~
As the night went on and my memory fades,
I'm almost certain I proved Mike wrong about his assumptions that I would be an angry drunk.
Not 100% sure but I think we even danced at one point. *shivers*
The rest of the night is hazy. . . really hazy.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
However, that next morning not only did I wake up to a killer headache but something else was different.
I could just feel it.
My heart began to race as I slowly peeked under the covers.
This can't be happening!
My eyes quickly fell on Maxx who wouldn't return my glance; that was what sealed all my doubts.
My head ached and my stomach turned.
How could that have happened!
After everything I said about Antonio and more importantly, after everything between me and Maxx. . . How could this have happened?
Why did I have to screw this up?
Why can't I remember.
We sat there in silence for a bit; me looking at Maxx and Maxx glancing out the window.
We both knew what happened but didn't remember it happening.
“Maxx. . . I’m really sorry about last night,” I finally spoke.
What do you say to a person who was robbed of one of the most important things in their lives?
I'm sure it must have been tough, going without all these years.
“That’s exactly what I wanted to hear after my first time,” he sighed; still engulfed in his own thoughts.
“. . . I Just don’t know what els-” I started
“-Do you remember?” he asked.
For the first time his eyes met mine . . . and it was terrifying.
Words failed me so instead of replying I slowly shook my head. He returned his stare to the window.
“I can’t believe it happened and I don’t even remember,” he sighed.
"Maxx. . .if I could go back and-," I said trying to find something comforting to say.
“-Kibs, I’m gonna just. . . . . .go alright?" he sighed again.
“Yeah. . . yeah okay," I nodded.
I watched as he collected his things and began to walk out of our bedroom.
I felt low; lower than low.
I blamed myself for everything that happened. Whatever happened.
How could he ever forgive me?
What would I do if he never did?
I cared about him too much and to see him crushed because of something I did, well that killed me.
Tears rolled down my cheek as he made his way past me.
Instead of walking straight out he startled me as wrapped his arms around my nearly bare body.
"I just need to think about a few things.
It's not your fault Kibs.
. . .
I'll see you soon okay?" he said sincerely.
I nodded again and after kissing my neck he left our room.
Even though he meant what he said, that still didn't make me feel less guilty.
I just prayed that after all that thinking he wouldn't want to break up with me.
~*~*~*~*~
~*MT*~
~* Vacation! *~
Finally we were on vacation.
After countless weeks of hardly working the producers provided all of us with a free cruise to the Caribbean.
We all knew that our time together was coming to an end, so what better way to wrap things up then by
having the best vacation we possibly could!
We hit shore after a few days out to sea and based on a few of our housemates being victims to sea sickness, we were all quite happy to be able to relax on beach.
The beaches in New York are beautiful but the ones here were something unlike reality.
I couldn't explain it, but there was something surreal about it.
That's where we spent most of our time.
Our days would often consist of laying in the sun, exploring the board walk and wrestling in the water.
While our nights would be filled with drinking, dancing and mischief.
One night Mike ended up passing out on the beach, so me Lidia and Chey decided
it would be fun to do a little doddling.
He woke up before we got a chance to draw more interesting things on his body, but we accomplished our goal. He was really upset.
I've gotten to know Mike these past few months, so when he started chasing us around the beach all I could
do was laugh! He was a lot slower then he looked and the amount of alcohol he'd been drinking sure worked to my advantage.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
The cruise ride back home was just as wonderful and exciting as the ride to the Caribbean.
I could get used to living on a ship, surrounded by friends and good times; away from everything.
It was like a type of freedom that you can only escape to when your faced with an endless view of the ocean.
On the final night, we all attended a formal dinner.
I wasn't ready to have this vacation over with. I wasn't ready to go back to New York and then a week later, leave everyone behind.
The future was scary. Scarier then it's ever been. I couldn't face being back to a new reality, I could bring myself to think about tomorrow when I was so caught up in today.
If anything, I wanted to take this moment and hang onto it. . . for always.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
“You know what we should do tonight?” I whispered.
“. . . I have a few things in mind,” Maxx whispered back holding me
tight as we danced slowly to the music.
I had fallen for him
“I bet you do. . .
but how about we get married?” I whispered.
Yes it was daring statement but I loved Maxx with all my heart.
I felt that deep down these feelings were nothing but mutual.
“What,” Maxx laughed.
“It’s crazy but. . . let’s get married.” I stated again.
He examined my expression, trying to figure out if this was some huge joke or not.
“I am serious.
It’s not the traditional way of doing things, I know. . . but it doesn’t matter.
We love each other right? That’s all there really is to it,”
I stated.
“. . . Kibby are you sure?” he asked.
“I never wanted something so badly.
It just feels right to me,” I said, my eyes trying to figure out what he was thinking at that exact moment.
Did it feel right to him?
"What do you say?" I asked.
My voice was shaky; a big part of myself even couldn't believe I was asking him to marry me.
Instead of answering he passionately kissed me.
Releasing he studied my expression.
My heart was racing so fast, still anticipating his decision.
Pausing for a moment. . . he gave me exactly what I wanted.
“Okay.”
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
I was ecstatic to hear the news.
By the end of the night Maxx would be my husband and I would be his wife.
There was this preacher on board who did ceremonies like this, and it wouldn't take too much to find him.
Everyone had the heads up about the wedding and we all scurried back to our cabins to get changed.
~*~*~*~*~*~
I'm not sure how long I waited. . .but it felt like pieces of my world had been falling apart the longer I did.
The longer I stood there, alone, waiting for some sign of him. . .the more and more my heart ached.
I wasn't sure what happened.
Yes. I knew that deep down marriage was a huge thing to spring on someone in one moment,
but did he not realize how much this meant to me?
Was he not that one special person who'd do anything for me?
I was doubting everything; everything that we ever were.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
I avoided him for the remainder of the cruise; not that he made any big attempts to come see me anyways.
The ship is only so big and the whole being surrounded by water thing, kinda limits places to escape. He could have found me if he really wanted too.
I think thats the thing that hurt the most.
When we got back to the house I just didn't feel like being there anymore.
Too many memories and too much already waiting for me on the outside.
Moping around the house all day, I had to tell everyone that I was leaving a few days early
. . .everyone but Maxx.
~*~*~*~*~*~
“I’m leaving tonight,” I said as all of us girls hung out in the living-room.
“Is it cause of Maxx?
I know your upset girl but maybe he
needs to figure somethings out. It happened so quick you know?” Lidia stated.
“Yeah. I get it
but things woulda been easier if we got married?” I sighed.
“Sometimes marriage puts a strain on a relationship,” Lidia said.
“Your ready for that?” Chey added.
There had been something I'd been keeping from them.
Something huge. Even though they had become some of my best friends in the world; this was something only I could go through.
“. . . Being pregnant puts a strain on the relationship too. . .
I’m not sure if I’m ready for that either,” I spilled.
“. . .”
They both were quiet for a second as I watched their eyes fall simultaneously onto my stomach.
“Kibby?” Chey gasped.
“a few weeks. . .” I added.
They were shocked, so I guess I did a good job hiding it.
After that night with Maxx, I ended up pregnant.
At the time, apparently we were both too drunk to think about protection. . .and being with Maxx (a virgin) I figured there was no reason to be using birth control.
Bad enough that I screwed that up for him, bringing another life in the world was really huge.
I convinced Chey and Lidia not to let Maxx know I was leaving, or that I was pregnant.
I planned on telling him tonight.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Packing some of my things I heard my bedroom door creep open.
I recognized the footsteps.
He didn't have to say anything, but that didn't stop him.
“So you were just gonna leave like that,” he said softly.
One day, eleven hours and thirty two minutes later; he showed up in my bedroom holding a single rose.
Resisting my instincts to forgive, forget and understand. . .I forced myself to remember.
“. . .I was just about to come find you,” I sighed trying not to sound upset.
“What’s up? I know I screwed up on the cruise but you gotta understand, everything was. . . going so fast
Decisions were made in minutes.
I love you with everything Kibby but. . .we needed to talk about this, find out if this is really what we want right now.”
I turned away from him.
“I’m pregnant Maxx. . . is that what you really want right now?” I stated.
He stammered for a bit; words failing to be created by his lips
“I’m going to be crashing with my parents for a bit.
You can contact me there,” I sighed, continuing to pack.
"Kibby. . ." he said.
I waited for more but I was granted with nothing but a confused expression.
“My cab should be here soon. . .so I’m just gonna,” I said grabbing the last of my stuff.
Leaving Maxx I made my way and said goodbye to everyone. I knew that we would all for sure hang out again.
Of course me Lidia and Chey had gotten so close that they would still be a big part of my life after this show; and with how things turned out between everyone else I was sure I would see the others around too.
They had been my family away from my family.
My true friends away for my other true friends.
Maybe at some point the worlds will collide. . .this I was still hoping.
~*~*~*~*~*~
Maxx caught me outside after all of my bags were in the car.
I guess I hung around a bit longer, waiting for him. I had done a lot of that lately.
Dropping random life changing information, expecting him to sweep me off my feet and then wondering why he's not.
Shesssh.
In actuality what did I expect?
"So your really leaving?" he said disappointed.
"Yea. I guess I am," I replied.
"I wish you would have told me sooner," he added.
". . .I just found out the day before the cruise," I stated.
"-I would have went with you. I want to be there," he sighed.
"I didn't want to freak you out over nothing.
I wasn't sure at first. . . I spilled looking at my shoes.
Raising his hand to my cheek, my entire body still melted because of his touch.
"We're gonna be okay," he whispered.
I looked up at him.
"You'll be at your parents?" he asked.
"Yeah. . . I told my mom.
She wants to see me," I sighed.
There was way too much to talk about; a lifetime worth of talking. We both knew this.
We understood that we would always be in each others lives, regardless of whether or not we were involved romantically.
"I'll see you soon. Promise me you'll call as soon as you land," he said.
"Yeah.
I promise," I smiled.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Confessional
