Lily's goodbye

[xobabybirdox]

Title: Lily's Goodybe
Alternate Title: Lily's Awakening
Author: xobabybirdox
Type: Poem
Rating: G
Trigger: Suicide
Notes: Wrote this one last night at 4am and on lots of painkillers

Comments

[writing2death]

well, that was more dramatic than I expected it to be.

I liked it though.

[xobabybirdox]

It was weird. I was lying in bed and the entire poem wrote itself in my head. I couldn't sleep so I got up and wrote it down. As soon as I finished I fell asleep.

I am surprised you liked it actually. It isn't the normal fluff I write but I am starting to think I am not very good at writing fluff.

[writing2death]

I can give you an involved critic of what I think, but tbh I'm not very good with poetry so I wouldn't actually take anything I say seriously.

I find some of it heavy-handed, but I liked that in the end he was smiling, if that made sense. idk. I suck at poetry, but I liked it anyway.

Also, near the end, you have check where you should have cheek, I think.

♥

[xobabybirdox]

I shall fix that.

Thanks!

my thoughts

[girl_distrait_9]

I really enjoyed reading this. I only read it once so far and there are a few things I don't understand yet, but I feel this is a very promising attempt to write something beautiful.

Re: my thoughts

[xobabybirdox]

thank you so much, that means a lot to me!