[Because. Because Shiba made him a failure. Because Shiba broke Rukia's heart, because Shiba wasn't there to protect her. Byakuya's resentment stems from the years of disrespect and his own anger, anger he, perhaps, has no right to have, but holds very close. It's because of those things that Shiba cannot be anything. If it would change, what else could he blame?]
Stop searching for my approval. I am not the one you must get it from.
[...]
Nonsense. What use would it be? We are shinigami. You are my chosen Lieutenant.
[But that's not fair--how can Byakuya hold him accountable for things that happened to basically another Kaien altogether, one that hasn't been trapped in a city in an alternate dimension for six months?]
You really don't get it. [sigh]Who else would I be looking for it from?
[Because Kaien doesn't exactly have trouble getting along with people.]
You're the only one from my world, and...well, to be honest, the person I trust the most in this city.
[He looks down, though Byakuya can't see.]
...You're important to me.
Only one of thirteen, though. And obviously not exactly your favorite.
I've wanted you to like me since you first ended up here...which was...four days after I got here myself?
[And he'd tried, so hard, to win that approval. But nothing he ever did was good enough.
He shakes his head. There was no point telling Byakuya all of this.]
...Nevermind. I did mean what I said about trusting you more than anyone, though.
I don't know who Renji is, but...that's what my point was. If your Lieutenant came here to Anatole, what good would I do you? You'd have no reason to talk to me anymore, would you?
This whole place is conspiring to turn me into you.
[It's partially an explanation, partially an apology, and partially just an expression of frustration.]
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Why...not...[he trails off, defeated. Byakuya won't tell him what he wants.]
[But he would. Byakuya is, for all their disagreements, the person he trusts most of all in Anatole.]
...Really? You mean it?
[Some small part of him dares to hope]
...I always figured that if another showed up, you'd stop talking to me altogether.
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Stop searching for my approval. I am not the one you must get it from.
[...]
Nonsense. What use would it be? We are shinigami. You are my chosen Lieutenant.
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You really don't get it. [sigh]Who else would I be looking for it from?
[Because Kaien doesn't exactly have trouble getting along with people.]
You're the only one from my world, and...well, to be honest, the person I trust the most in this city.
[He looks down, though Byakuya can't see.]
...You're important to me.
Only one of thirteen, though. And obviously not exactly your favorite.
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You have never cared for it before.
[Important. He's not important to anyone save as a figurehead, as a captain. Such foolish sentiments.]
You speak of homesickness. I am not important, simply the familiarity that comes with a fellow shinigami.
No. You are not Renji, yet you have still been given the privilege of holding the title of Lieutenant beside me. Is that not enough?
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[And he'd tried, so hard, to win that approval. But nothing he ever did was good enough.
He shakes his head. There was no point telling Byakuya all of this.]
...Nevermind. I did mean what I said about trusting you more than anyone, though.
I don't know who Renji is, but...that's what my point was. If your Lieutenant came here to Anatole, what good would I do you? You'd have no reason to talk to me anymore, would you?
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...
Renji's arrival would change nothing. Do not think I place my loyalties so carelessly.
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