Finding You Chapter 25
Title: Finding You
Chapters: 25/?
Pairing: HyukHae
Disclaimer: I don’t own them, only the weird plot.
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Hyukjae’s version of the Kihae kiss and Donghae’s explanation.
Note: This is written from Hyukjae’s point of view.
Hyukjae’s P.O.V.
At first I thought Ryeowook had lost his mind, probably because he has been spending too much time with Yesung but when I heard him say he was spying on Donghae I had to admit I was interested.
“Donghae?” I asked, my curiosity winning over that fact that spying was completely ridiculous.
“Yeah, over there” Ryeowook says pointing at the schools soccer field.
We all hide behind a tree and when I go to look out at Donghae my heart stops.
He is standing there with a kid I’ve never seen before, and he has tears in his eyes. I want nothing more than to run to him and pull him away from that kid, but I can’t. It’s not my place.
We stand there for a minute and I see Donghae say something, and whatever he said must have really hurt the kid because his face shifts into a pained one and he looks down.
The kid stays like that for a minute or two and I can tell Donghae wants to run. It looks like Donghae is going to leave when suddenly the kid yells “I DON’T CARE”
I’m afraid that the kid might hurt Donghae so I step out from behind the tree, but by the time I’m exposed the kid’s lips are already on Donghae’s. I’m frozen. Is that kid kissing MY boyfriend? Is MY boyfriend letting that kid kiss him?
My heart feels betrayed and I feel the tears threatening to fall. How could Donghae do this to me?
I want to storm over there and pull Donghae off of the kid and drag him away to explain, but before I can even take a step to do so Donghae pushes the kid away. Thank God.
I finally take a step towards them when I notice the kid going in for another kiss and I feel the anger build up inside of me. Who did this kid think he was?
To my shock I see Donghae slap the kid in the face and yell “DON’T” and I smile. Donghae didn’t want that kid to kiss him, and my heart felt a little better.
The next thing Donghae yelled made my heart stop beating.
“I’M IN LOVE WITH HYUKJAE”
Did he mean it? Or was he just trying to get away from that kid? Either way my heart felt elated.
Even if Donghae was just saying it to get away from this stalker kid I couldn’t help but think maybe he really felt the same way about me as I felt about him. Maybe we were in love with each other.
Donghae turned to run and I was frozen, I wasn’t supposed to be here, I wasn’t supposed to hear that. But I needed to know the truth, did Donghae love me?
I thought maybe he had seen me and was running to me for comfort, so I opened my arms to him, only to have him run straight into me making him fall to the ground.
He mumbled an apologetic “S-sorry” while picking himself off the ground as fast as he could. It would seem he wanted nothing more than to run away from this place.
“Did you mean it?” I asked trying to keep the desperation out of my voice.
“Hy-Hyukkie?” He asked in a small lost voice, he must’ve not been able to see me through his tear filled eyes.
“Did you mean it?” I repeat, not being able to hide the desperation anymore. I needed to know how he felt.
“Me…mean wha…what?” He questions
I wipe away the tears on his cheeks, hoping maybe he will be able to see me better, hoping I will be able to see what he’s feeling.
“You love me?” I finally say after I take a breath. I needed his answer.
I can see the shock on his face, and it scares me. He doesn’t feel the same.
He starts to blink really fast like he was trying to clear the tears out of his eyes so he could have a better view of me, but he doesn’t say anything, so I ask him again
“Do you love me?” I say quieter, questioning. I was a fool to believe he loved me.
“Yes” he starts and my heartbeat quickens “Yes I love you”
I don’t give it time to sink in; I don’t give my head the time to process if this is real or not. I lean in and kiss him on the lips. I try to give all my love through the kiss, hoping maybe he’d understand that I love him too. But that isn’t enough, the words need to be said, and this time when he’s awake so I pull away.
“I love you too” I say and then my lips are back on his.
We are in love.
I would love nothing more than continuing to kiss Donghae but I hear someone cough behind us, so I pull away and notice there is a crowd around. Donghae must’ve just noticed as well because he turns red and buries his head in my chest.
“Were you all watching?” Donghae asks, his voice muffled by my tee-shirt and the fact that he’d been crying.
“Ryeowook was spying on you” I inform him and I feel him stiffen.
I would have smiled if it wasn’t for the fact that Donghae hasn’t moved, or even breathed since I told him Ryeowook was spying on him.
“Donghae?” I asked
But no answer came. He was still stiff and I still couldn’t feel him breathing.
“Donghae?” I called again, this time with worry laced in my voice.
I was about to rip him off my body so that I could see his face when he finally spoke.
“Can we leave?” he asked quietly with his face still buried in my chest.
“Yes” I said but he still didn’t move so I pulled him along with me, his face never leaving my chest.
“I’m going to walk Donghae home” I informed my roommates and Ryeowook before I headed to the front of the school and I was about to lead us towards his house when Donghae spoke again.
“I don’t want to go home” he said
“Where do you want to go?” I asked
“Anywhere, just not home” he said, or more like begged.
I sighed trying to think of a place that would make him feel better, and that’s when I smiled. I would take him to his favorite place in this town, the field.
As I started to walk in the direction of the field dragging Donghae along--who was still attached to my side-I felt wetness on my shirt. Donghae was crying.
“Hae?” I called softly putting my hand on his head trying to get him to look at me.
“Please” he said, I knew what he wanted. Not to say anything. So I didn’t, I just kept leading us towards the field.
We walked in silence for about 40 minutes; it took longer than usual to reach the field because I was practically dragging Donghae along, who still hadn’t stopped crying.
When I could see the field I felt it was the best time to break the silence
“Hae” I said, silently praying he would look up; he was really starting to scare me.
To my shock he did look up but he didn’t look at me. Instead he looked up at the field and a small smile found its way onto his face.
“I suppose you want to know who he was” Donghae said quietly not daring to make eye contact.
To be honest I hadn’t thought about it. I was too busy worrying about Donghae.
“I…” I didn’t have an answer.
“Come on” he said as he grabbed my hand and dragged me to the tree, never once turning to look at me.
There was tension in the air and for the first time since I saw that kid kissing Donghae I wondered who he was to cause such and affect.
Once we reached the tree Donghae released his hold of my hand and I reluctantly let go. He had his back towards me, and we stood there for a few minutes neither of us daring to speak.
I was starting to get nervous, Donghae hadn’t said anything in a while and the way his shoulders were slumped down didn’t keep the panic from settling in.
I wanted to wait for him to say something but the silence was starting to scare me. What was happening? I was so confused.
“Hae?” I called breaking the silence. He was silent for a few minute before he finally spoke
“His name is Kim Kibum” he started and I couldn’t help but think maybe I didn’t want to know.
He still had his back to me and I could hear the sadness in his voice when he started to speak again “He was my boyfriend back in Mokpo”
Then he went silent as if he was remembering something, and I couldn’t speak. This boy, this Kibum must have meant a great deal to Donghae, and I just hoped it was all in the past.
“He left a year ago” Donghae finally said with his back still facing me, I could tell he was crying. How badly did this kid hurt him?
All of a sudden Donghae started to tremble; it was a painful scene to watch. I wanted to comfort him, but I didn’t know how.
I didn’t know if I wanted him to continue, I didn’t know if I wanted to hear what he was going to say. So I stay quiet and waited for Donghae to decide for me.
“He left…for America…” Donghae started but kept stopping like the next thing out of his mouth was to terrible to repeat “the night I…I decided…to give myself…to give myself to him completely…and he just left…without a goodbye” Donghae finished by falling to his knees and clutching his head in his hand.
I was shocked, and hurt. Donghae had giving himself to this Kibum, as in they had sex?
I wasn’t speaking, Donghae wasn’t speaking and even the wind seemed to have stopped blowing, leaving us in complete silence.
My brain couldn’t process this information, didn’t want to “I…” I started but I didn’t know what to say. Sure I wasn’t a virgin--far from it in fact--and it’s not like I haven’t been in love before but Donghae was different. It didn’t feel right to think of him and that other boy together, and it wasn’t just jealousy, it was wrong. Donghae being in love with someone else was wrong, just wrong.
I could feel my anger boiling in me just thinking about this Kibum touching Donghae, seeing more of Donghae than I had, kissing him, loving him.
I was in my own mind and I hadn’t even noticed Donghae was standing in front of me until he warily touched my shoulder.
I looked up and was met by Donghae’s tear field eyes, he looked scared and desperate.
“P-Please…” he stuttered out through ragged breaths, it sounded pathetic.
“I l-love you” he said trying to sound confident, but he sounded broken “p-please d-don’t leave m-me”
“I…” I started; I needed to think “I...”
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A/N: okay here is the next chapter and HAHAHAHAHA *major cliffhanger* feel free to kill me :D I'm in an evil mood right now <3