Surfacing Questions

[xleste]

Why does it seem like really good sex breaks the heart a little?
Was just looking back on the past and it surfaced. I have my own thoughts, but the realization that it can has just been swimming in my brain a bit.

Comments

[radiantsun]

Would it break the heart any less if the relationship seemed more secure? Maybe it's simply opening the heart more

[xleste]

Nope. I don't think it would. I believe what Clarissa Pinkola Estes once said,

“A part of every woman and every man resists knowing that in all love relationships Death must have her share. We pretend we can love without our illusions about love dying, pretend we can go on without our superficial expectations dying, pretend we progress and that our favorite flushes and rushes will never die….”

I think with sex, which has its natural ending, this comes into play.

[crasch]

What do you mean by "breaks the heart"?

[xleste]

It aches - there's this sense of the passing and poignacy of life in a deep way, both the intense beauty and transience.

[crasch]

Hmmm...I don't think I've ever felt it after great sex. Perhaps the sex wasn't great enough...:> I have felt it though, at more traditional times, such as the death of a pet/relative, discovering pictures of a lost love.

[_elle_]

I think because for a moment, you become completely authentic, completely aligned and 100% compassionate, full and in the moment.... and when that moment is over... the heart cries a little.

[xleste]

Yes yes yes.

It's funny too because I realized that I didn't mean like unusually acrobatic sex, and what you articulated speaks to why.

[arcanepackrat]

Well I've had the really good sex and I guess I should be thankful I don't suffer from the "heart breaking a little" problem. For me, when the moment is over I wrap the thoughts of that moment around me like a warm fuzzy blanket and enjoy them for a while longer and think about what that next great moment is going to be like.