Hesitant Heart Beats - Chapter 1 - Decline
Title: Hesitant Heart Beats
Author: xkotakux
Band/Pairing: the GazettE // Reita x Ruki
Rating: PG-13
Warning: Cursing
Summary: Keeping secrets from their band mates had almost been a thrill to both of them, finding it sinfully good to sneak away during break in practice to kiss. But then, keeping it from the others got complicated, releasing new material, going to interviews/photo shoots, and performing lives didn’t always leave room for the couple to have alone time. And Ruki found himself questioning if this relationship really had love centered in it.
Disclaimer: Don’t own, don’t sue…please~
Comment: Please comment guys ^-^b
Prologue
Chapter 1 - Decline
Perhaps it was the silence filling their almost empty practice space, or maybe something deeper, but something was bothering Ruki. The vocalist sat alone on a chair waiting for his band mates to show up. He was thirty minutes early, after not being able to sleep much from the previous nights events and not finding anything to apply himself to that morning, coming in early seemed like good idea. And it did even now, though he was still riddled with boredom. But something told him that Reita would probably come in early as well.
It was a sickening silence as Ruki found it. And all he could do to try and shake it away was drum his fingers on the arm of the chair-try to keep his sanity. No, coming in early was not a good idea.
Part of him was still hanging on the events of last night.
He sighed, titled his head back and looked at the ceiling. It had the ‘popcorn’ texture on it, and if it wasn’t about ten feet up in the air, Ruki would probably be letting his fingers running over it. At least that was better than just sitting there. If he was smart he’d be warming up his voice, but at the moment that seemed a little trivial. Fingers stilling, he closed his eyes and sighed once more, trying to ponder other things, new music, new ideas for clothes, even if that seemed far off on the future it at least gave him something to concentrate on. But, as many would guess, his attempts fell flat.
After Reita had left the previous night, it had proved a challenge for Ruki to try and get himself to put his thoughts away for long enough to gain two hours of sleep. Ruki already knew that this wouldn’t lead to a very good band practice. He’d be lucky if he didn’t forget any lyrics when singing a song.
His whole thought process had been (and still seemed to be) broken on an endless record player, and the song was Reita. The questions that he had asked himself, and more, came knocking on his brain for answers. Yet, he still concocted up none. So many questions he couldn’t quite answer about his…’sex partner’…’lover’?
The little sleep that Ruki had managed to obtain wasn’t all that pleasant either. It had led him to a dream about his dream/nightmare at the moment, the bassist himself. It started out quaint, but soon took a dive for the worst.
The vocalist recalled it perfectly, even if that seemed odd to remember a dream so vividly. He was in a white room, however comforting that was, but then all of the sudden, Reita just appeared out of what seemed like no where. But something about this Reita wasn’t quite right, maybe not physically, but this sly little grin he was giving off seemed odd for the circumstances.
As Ruki tried to ask Reita for answers, the bassist only concluded he didn’t know anything and wanted to have sex with Ruki right on the spot. To Ruki’s surprise, he had refused with a steady voice, and not really even thinking on it, more focused on why the hell he was in a white room. After Ruki had refused though, Reita just scoffed and started to walk off. The bassist just faded away with his back turned to Ruki. And suddenly it seemed that Ruki cared much more about his now faded lover.
But not even less than a minute after Reita’s disappearing act did another Reita appear. This bassist was eerily sweet and concerned, but at the same time, he was see through. A mere fragment of a memory. Ruki woke up crying.
The vocalist was pondering whether or not to tell Reita about the dream. There was hope that Reita would deny being simply sex driven and whisk Ruki off in his arms. But, Ruki had a feeling nothing like that would happen. He opted to keep it to himself in the end, not wanting to feel stupid for confessing, or worse, having Reita get mad at him. Though Ruki didn’t think that Reita would get mad at him for something so trivial, he didn’t want to chance it.
He began to drum his fingers again, only harder and faster. Ruki impatiently looked at the clock. He still had twenty-seven minutes to go. It seemed like he had already spent and hour just sitting and waiting, but in reality only three minutes had passed. But then again, didn’t that always seem to happen?
Ruki bit his lip softly, he was suddenly feeling nervous. Probably because he wasn’t sure how Reita was going to act around him today. Or maybe Ruki just knew that all it took was one cute smile and he’d be Reita’s to do what the bassist pleased.
He had told himself so many times he was reading to far into this whole situation. Lack of sleep, lack of energy, and maybe just insanity, or that’s at least what Ruki told himself was contributing to this. He certainly didn’t want to be right about all this, nor did he want to be wrong, he just want to be secure, at least secure with the fact that Reita loved him.
Ruki leaned back into the chair, but as he did, the faint creak of the doors hinges came through. He didn’t even have to turn his head to know who had stepped through that door.
“Ru-chan…” Suspicions confirmed.
The vocalist glanced over at Reita, the bassist was casually striding over to where Ruki was sitting. The memory of both Reita came knocking on Ruki’s door. But even still, Ruki gave an involuntary smile as his eyes fell upon the bassist.
Reita came up behind Ruki’s chair, his hands snaking around the back to tenderly lay his fingers on Ruki’s shoulders. The bassist tickled the skin and ran his fingers slowly up and down Ruki’s arms. The vocalist could already feel goosebumps rise up on his skin and shiver slightly. Ruki felt Reita lean forward, the bassist's breath whisking across his neck. Ruki stifled a whimper. Luckily Ruki was drawn back a little towards reality when he heard Reita’s voice cut through the moment.
“Did you sleep well?”
Perfect opportunity. “Not at all.” The question has seemed to give Ruki a little confidence to say what he desperately wanted to say.
“Why so?”
“B-Because…of you…” Ruki cursed himself for having such shaky words. It didn’t help when Reita placed a light kiss on his neck, still not removing his fingers from tracing Ruki’s arms.
This seemed to be all the bassist needed to proceed with his little advances, letting his tongue dart out to touch the shell of Ruki’s ear. “What about me? Couldn’t sleep because I wasn’t there?” The last statement may have been a joke on Reita’s part, but Ruki seemed to think it otherwise.
“N-No, Reita I -“ Ruki started but was abruptly cut off by the door's squeaky hinges hissing through the air again. With inhuman speed both Reita and Ruki separated and managed to put distance between themselves as to not let on about what they were doing to the new person.
“Hey guys!” Aoi said happily, though stopped in his tracks when he took notice to both Reita and Ruki’s somewhat flustered reaction to his entrance. “You guys okay?” Nods; nods without a word. Aoi shrugged and let it slide.
“Y-You’re here early Aoi-kun,” Reita commented coolly, trying to cover and post freak out.
“Both of you are, as well.” Aoi pointed out. Neither of them had a response to that. The clicks of Aoi’s guitar case opening echoed through the room. Ruki still wasn’t calm yet, but he was slightly relieved to not have to spill about the dream to Reita. He knew he should tell him, he knew he should really talk about how he was feeling, but that fear of what would happen was what made him hesitant.
Conversation seemingly settled, Reita went to go tend to his bass that he had left by the door. Ruki hadn’t even heard Reita put it down when he came in, only offering more proof that he was in need of confessing his feelings.
Ruki stood up himself, making a short trip over to the microphone stand that he always left in their practice space. He may have been ‘safe’ for now, but he had time to think of some plan of action. Though right now, he knew he had to focus himself on delivering a good performance for practice.
Across the room, the door cracked open once more and a half asleep Uruha piled on in, guitar case swinging around in hand. “M-Mornin’…” The guitarist managed to sputter out.
“You okay?” Ruki asked out of reflex.
“No…sleep…” Uruha weakly replied. The man found a spot in the chair that Ruki had just been occupying, head tipping back and guitar case placed on the floor.
“Alcohol?” Aoi chimed in, his lips curling up in a smile, knowing he was right.
“Yesss…” Uruha wined and slumped down in the chair, closing his eyes tightly as if trying to get some relief from the outside world. Aoi on the other hand couldn’t suppress the laughter bubbling up inside his chest. Ruki knew that trying to have Uruha play with a hangover could lead to some interesting riffs.
“What was the occasion?” Aoi questioned further, having no intentions on letting up. He inched closer to Uruha and started making circles around the man, as if playing detective. Uruha just groaned and tried to turn away from his pest of a band mate.
Aoi went on interrogating Uruha, but by that time Ruki was already tuning them out. He had better things to think about then why his band mate had decided to bust open the liquor cabinet. The vocalist stood next to the microphone, staring off into space. Then he realized that Reita hadn’t contributed any thoughts into the previous conversation. He instantly started to look for the bassist. Being a somewhat small room it wasn’t hard to find him. Reita was still by his bass case, though his fingers were resting on the clasps. His eyes were pointed at the item, but they seemed to not even notice it, looking right through it. Ruki could only wonder what he was thinking about.
One drag. Two. Ruki was against the back wall of their little practice space, tucked safely outside. The once fresh air was quickly filling with smoke emitted from Ruki’s cigarette. It was their normal break in practice, even if to Ruki it felt like nothing had gotten done. Kai had come in late, which was odd for him, but nonetheless it made the group have a delay in their schedule. Meanwhile it seemed Aoi was content with just pestering Uruha. What was even odder though was that Reita had kept his hands and even glances to himself. Ruki had to simply entertain himself with his thoughts. And that, recently, had proved to lead him no where good.
Even now he was alone, simply enjoying the company of the smoke swirling around him. It wasn’t that he didn’t mind the sudden lack of attention Reita had given him, but it made him worry. It made him wonder even more, ‘What’s he thinking?’
This had to stop. Ruki had to speak up, had to be brave and let his feelings be known. He couldn’t answer why he hid the way he felt about their relationship, he just knew it wasn’t healthy. The dream only solidified that. Ruki didn’t want to think about what would happen if he let this continue, let these feelings run rampaged on his mind. It certainly didn’t provide him with the good feeling that love was supposed to give you.
And maybe he was wrong, maybe he was just looking at this closed mindedly. One thing was sure, the only way to move forward in this kind of situation was to talk to Reita. But at the moment, he felt he didn’t know how.
Cigarette already down to the butt, Ruki dropped it and used his foot to drill out the rest of the light. He had no reason to stay outside, and he’d soon have to retreat back into the building to continue practice anyway, but he just didn’t feel like dragging himself in there yet.
Sighing, Ruki slid down the wall, coming to sit on the cold, cracked concrete. Tracing the gagged lines embedded in the concrete, all the vocalist could think about was Reita. Though this time he was focusing more on the man himself rather than the problems he saw surrounding the both of them.
His thoughts were interrupted when the door only a foot to his right swung open. Ruki quickly scooted out of the way to keep from getting knocked out by the door, but his concern about the door quickly shifted over to who had just walked through it.
Ruki had been practically expecting it; practically expecting that Reita walk through the door. This was another opportunity for Ruki to talk to Reita. Sadly he knew that the time for their break was dwindling. Yet he promised to himself to tell Reita by the end of practice.
“Hey.” The bassist whispered as if out of breath. He sunk down next to Ruki, a mere inch or two away from the vocalist. Ruki tensed, already getting nervous from having Reita so close, just like earlier.
Stilling his slightly trembling fingers, Ruki managed to answer, “Hi…”
Reita shifted his weight, bringing him a little closer to Ruki. The vocalist was sure he knew what Reita would do next, touch him, be it on the shoulder or leg. Then he’d get that spark in his eye signaling to Ruki that he wanted him, be it in bed or right here.
None of that occurred though. Reita just sat there, leaving Ruki guessing, taking comfort in listening to Reita’s breathing. Together they just sat like that for a few minutes, and Ruki was about to question why the rest of the group hadn’t come barreling out to drag them back in.
Surprisingly enough, Ruki felt the bassist move to lay his head on the vocalist shoulder. Maybe it wasn’t a huge gesture or something to celebrate, but from what Ruki had been accustomed to, it was a one eighty. Ruki found himself scooting closer to the bassist.
“Uh…Rei…” Ruki started, planning on asking perhaps what was wrong.
“Come over to my place?” Reita finished for him, even if it wasn’t what he wanted to say.
Say no, say no, say no, say no, say… “O-Okay.”
Ruki just couldn’t. He couldn’t say no to Reita, couldn’t say no to someone he loved. It wasn’t that he wanted to just stop seeing Reita or that he wanted to cut himself off completely from the Reita. He just wanted to reason things out.
Ruki would admit it, sex with Reita was amazing, being so intimate with someone he loved so dear was a gorgeous thing indeed, but now with these new feelings starting to pop up, it became almost like a chore that he didn’t want to do.
“Will you come over after practice?”
Opt out now! The rational part of him was screaming inside to stop this and spill. His heart on the other hand was rather urging to comply.
“Well…I…need to do things…first.” Ruki managed to squeak out.
“Please?” Reita whispered, making the hairs on the back or Ruki’s neck stand up. That needy tone, how it had done Ruki in so many times. And it seemed to be working this time too.
“O-Okay…”
“Thanks.” Reita sat up making Ruki turn to look at him. As the vocalist did so, he found his lips connecting with Reita’s. It was tender kiss, Reita’s lips moving ever so slowly against Ruki’s. The vocalist found himself being pulled deeper and deeper into the kiss with every passing second. And for a brief second, he forgot what he had been concerning himself with. He felt Reita’s tongue gently etch across his lips, and again Ruki could feel that needy sense from the bassist. He had to let Reita take control, had to let Reita have his wish. Like it always seemed.
That seemed to snap Ruki back, his eyes opened, and he broke off the kiss. Not with a quick jerk, but slowly pulling back as if trying to cover up what he had just thought.
Voice weak, Ruki managed to breathe out, “I take it back… I’m sorry… I'll have to decline. I can’t come over tonight…”
† Author’s Note
Okay, this was the first chapter that I have ever had beta-read. Talk about starting off the New Year right XD. It was edited by lovely d_i_x, and even though she says I thank her to much I will thank her once more XD. So thank you again! I appreciate it ;3
About The POV Thing. So I read all the feedback from the prologue, and decided I'm going to try switching back and forth, I figured out how I can swing it~ So look forward to Reita next time.
Happy New Year Everyone!
P.S. - Really off topic - To anyone who has heard THE END from NIL - You know how it's pretty much a riff and some beats and one word being spoken at once? Is that just Ruki? I read somewhere that the whole band was saying their...words in the song. I listened real close, but all I hear is Ruki and maybe Reita in my right earbud. Does anyone know if the whole band is speaking? O.o;; See I'm really off topic here...
Chapter 2
Author: xkotakux
Band/Pairing: the GazettE // Reita x Ruki
Rating: PG-13
Warning: Cursing
Summary: Keeping secrets from their band mates had almost been a thrill to both of them, finding it sinfully good to sneak away during break in practice to kiss. But then, keeping it from the others got complicated, releasing new material, going to interviews/photo shoots, and performing lives didn’t always leave room for the couple to have alone time. And Ruki found himself questioning if this relationship really had love centered in it.
Disclaimer: Don’t own, don’t sue…please~
Comment: Please comment guys ^-^b
Prologue
Chapter 1 - Decline
Perhaps it was the silence filling their almost empty practice space, or maybe something deeper, but something was bothering Ruki. The vocalist sat alone on a chair waiting for his band mates to show up. He was thirty minutes early, after not being able to sleep much from the previous nights events and not finding anything to apply himself to that morning, coming in early seemed like good idea. And it did even now, though he was still riddled with boredom. But something told him that Reita would probably come in early as well.
It was a sickening silence as Ruki found it. And all he could do to try and shake it away was drum his fingers on the arm of the chair-try to keep his sanity. No, coming in early was not a good idea.
Part of him was still hanging on the events of last night.
He sighed, titled his head back and looked at the ceiling. It had the ‘popcorn’ texture on it, and if it wasn’t about ten feet up in the air, Ruki would probably be letting his fingers running over it. At least that was better than just sitting there. If he was smart he’d be warming up his voice, but at the moment that seemed a little trivial. Fingers stilling, he closed his eyes and sighed once more, trying to ponder other things, new music, new ideas for clothes, even if that seemed far off on the future it at least gave him something to concentrate on. But, as many would guess, his attempts fell flat.
After Reita had left the previous night, it had proved a challenge for Ruki to try and get himself to put his thoughts away for long enough to gain two hours of sleep. Ruki already knew that this wouldn’t lead to a very good band practice. He’d be lucky if he didn’t forget any lyrics when singing a song.
His whole thought process had been (and still seemed to be) broken on an endless record player, and the song was Reita. The questions that he had asked himself, and more, came knocking on his brain for answers. Yet, he still concocted up none. So many questions he couldn’t quite answer about his…’sex partner’…’lover’?
The little sleep that Ruki had managed to obtain wasn’t all that pleasant either. It had led him to a dream about his dream/nightmare at the moment, the bassist himself. It started out quaint, but soon took a dive for the worst.
The vocalist recalled it perfectly, even if that seemed odd to remember a dream so vividly. He was in a white room, however comforting that was, but then all of the sudden, Reita just appeared out of what seemed like no where. But something about this Reita wasn’t quite right, maybe not physically, but this sly little grin he was giving off seemed odd for the circumstances.
As Ruki tried to ask Reita for answers, the bassist only concluded he didn’t know anything and wanted to have sex with Ruki right on the spot. To Ruki’s surprise, he had refused with a steady voice, and not really even thinking on it, more focused on why the hell he was in a white room. After Ruki had refused though, Reita just scoffed and started to walk off. The bassist just faded away with his back turned to Ruki. And suddenly it seemed that Ruki cared much more about his now faded lover.
But not even less than a minute after Reita’s disappearing act did another Reita appear. This bassist was eerily sweet and concerned, but at the same time, he was see through. A mere fragment of a memory. Ruki woke up crying.
The vocalist was pondering whether or not to tell Reita about the dream. There was hope that Reita would deny being simply sex driven and whisk Ruki off in his arms. But, Ruki had a feeling nothing like that would happen. He opted to keep it to himself in the end, not wanting to feel stupid for confessing, or worse, having Reita get mad at him. Though Ruki didn’t think that Reita would get mad at him for something so trivial, he didn’t want to chance it.
He began to drum his fingers again, only harder and faster. Ruki impatiently looked at the clock. He still had twenty-seven minutes to go. It seemed like he had already spent and hour just sitting and waiting, but in reality only three minutes had passed. But then again, didn’t that always seem to happen?
Ruki bit his lip softly, he was suddenly feeling nervous. Probably because he wasn’t sure how Reita was going to act around him today. Or maybe Ruki just knew that all it took was one cute smile and he’d be Reita’s to do what the bassist pleased.
He had told himself so many times he was reading to far into this whole situation. Lack of sleep, lack of energy, and maybe just insanity, or that’s at least what Ruki told himself was contributing to this. He certainly didn’t want to be right about all this, nor did he want to be wrong, he just want to be secure, at least secure with the fact that Reita loved him.
Ruki leaned back into the chair, but as he did, the faint creak of the doors hinges came through. He didn’t even have to turn his head to know who had stepped through that door.
“Ru-chan…” Suspicions confirmed.
The vocalist glanced over at Reita, the bassist was casually striding over to where Ruki was sitting. The memory of both Reita came knocking on Ruki’s door. But even still, Ruki gave an involuntary smile as his eyes fell upon the bassist.
Reita came up behind Ruki’s chair, his hands snaking around the back to tenderly lay his fingers on Ruki’s shoulders. The bassist tickled the skin and ran his fingers slowly up and down Ruki’s arms. The vocalist could already feel goosebumps rise up on his skin and shiver slightly. Ruki felt Reita lean forward, the bassist's breath whisking across his neck. Ruki stifled a whimper. Luckily Ruki was drawn back a little towards reality when he heard Reita’s voice cut through the moment.
“Did you sleep well?”
Perfect opportunity. “Not at all.” The question has seemed to give Ruki a little confidence to say what he desperately wanted to say.
“Why so?”
“B-Because…of you…” Ruki cursed himself for having such shaky words. It didn’t help when Reita placed a light kiss on his neck, still not removing his fingers from tracing Ruki’s arms.
This seemed to be all the bassist needed to proceed with his little advances, letting his tongue dart out to touch the shell of Ruki’s ear. “What about me? Couldn’t sleep because I wasn’t there?” The last statement may have been a joke on Reita’s part, but Ruki seemed to think it otherwise.
“N-No, Reita I -“ Ruki started but was abruptly cut off by the door's squeaky hinges hissing through the air again. With inhuman speed both Reita and Ruki separated and managed to put distance between themselves as to not let on about what they were doing to the new person.
“Hey guys!” Aoi said happily, though stopped in his tracks when he took notice to both Reita and Ruki’s somewhat flustered reaction to his entrance. “You guys okay?” Nods; nods without a word. Aoi shrugged and let it slide.
“Y-You’re here early Aoi-kun,” Reita commented coolly, trying to cover and post freak out.
“Both of you are, as well.” Aoi pointed out. Neither of them had a response to that. The clicks of Aoi’s guitar case opening echoed through the room. Ruki still wasn’t calm yet, but he was slightly relieved to not have to spill about the dream to Reita. He knew he should tell him, he knew he should really talk about how he was feeling, but that fear of what would happen was what made him hesitant.
Conversation seemingly settled, Reita went to go tend to his bass that he had left by the door. Ruki hadn’t even heard Reita put it down when he came in, only offering more proof that he was in need of confessing his feelings.
Ruki stood up himself, making a short trip over to the microphone stand that he always left in their practice space. He may have been ‘safe’ for now, but he had time to think of some plan of action. Though right now, he knew he had to focus himself on delivering a good performance for practice.
Across the room, the door cracked open once more and a half asleep Uruha piled on in, guitar case swinging around in hand. “M-Mornin’…” The guitarist managed to sputter out.
“You okay?” Ruki asked out of reflex.
“No…sleep…” Uruha weakly replied. The man found a spot in the chair that Ruki had just been occupying, head tipping back and guitar case placed on the floor.
“Alcohol?” Aoi chimed in, his lips curling up in a smile, knowing he was right.
“Yesss…” Uruha wined and slumped down in the chair, closing his eyes tightly as if trying to get some relief from the outside world. Aoi on the other hand couldn’t suppress the laughter bubbling up inside his chest. Ruki knew that trying to have Uruha play with a hangover could lead to some interesting riffs.
“What was the occasion?” Aoi questioned further, having no intentions on letting up. He inched closer to Uruha and started making circles around the man, as if playing detective. Uruha just groaned and tried to turn away from his pest of a band mate.
Aoi went on interrogating Uruha, but by that time Ruki was already tuning them out. He had better things to think about then why his band mate had decided to bust open the liquor cabinet. The vocalist stood next to the microphone, staring off into space. Then he realized that Reita hadn’t contributed any thoughts into the previous conversation. He instantly started to look for the bassist. Being a somewhat small room it wasn’t hard to find him. Reita was still by his bass case, though his fingers were resting on the clasps. His eyes were pointed at the item, but they seemed to not even notice it, looking right through it. Ruki could only wonder what he was thinking about.
One drag. Two. Ruki was against the back wall of their little practice space, tucked safely outside. The once fresh air was quickly filling with smoke emitted from Ruki’s cigarette. It was their normal break in practice, even if to Ruki it felt like nothing had gotten done. Kai had come in late, which was odd for him, but nonetheless it made the group have a delay in their schedule. Meanwhile it seemed Aoi was content with just pestering Uruha. What was even odder though was that Reita had kept his hands and even glances to himself. Ruki had to simply entertain himself with his thoughts. And that, recently, had proved to lead him no where good.
Even now he was alone, simply enjoying the company of the smoke swirling around him. It wasn’t that he didn’t mind the sudden lack of attention Reita had given him, but it made him worry. It made him wonder even more, ‘What’s he thinking?’
This had to stop. Ruki had to speak up, had to be brave and let his feelings be known. He couldn’t answer why he hid the way he felt about their relationship, he just knew it wasn’t healthy. The dream only solidified that. Ruki didn’t want to think about what would happen if he let this continue, let these feelings run rampaged on his mind. It certainly didn’t provide him with the good feeling that love was supposed to give you.
And maybe he was wrong, maybe he was just looking at this closed mindedly. One thing was sure, the only way to move forward in this kind of situation was to talk to Reita. But at the moment, he felt he didn’t know how.
Cigarette already down to the butt, Ruki dropped it and used his foot to drill out the rest of the light. He had no reason to stay outside, and he’d soon have to retreat back into the building to continue practice anyway, but he just didn’t feel like dragging himself in there yet.
Sighing, Ruki slid down the wall, coming to sit on the cold, cracked concrete. Tracing the gagged lines embedded in the concrete, all the vocalist could think about was Reita. Though this time he was focusing more on the man himself rather than the problems he saw surrounding the both of them.
His thoughts were interrupted when the door only a foot to his right swung open. Ruki quickly scooted out of the way to keep from getting knocked out by the door, but his concern about the door quickly shifted over to who had just walked through it.
Ruki had been practically expecting it; practically expecting that Reita walk through the door. This was another opportunity for Ruki to talk to Reita. Sadly he knew that the time for their break was dwindling. Yet he promised to himself to tell Reita by the end of practice.
“Hey.” The bassist whispered as if out of breath. He sunk down next to Ruki, a mere inch or two away from the vocalist. Ruki tensed, already getting nervous from having Reita so close, just like earlier.
Stilling his slightly trembling fingers, Ruki managed to answer, “Hi…”
Reita shifted his weight, bringing him a little closer to Ruki. The vocalist was sure he knew what Reita would do next, touch him, be it on the shoulder or leg. Then he’d get that spark in his eye signaling to Ruki that he wanted him, be it in bed or right here.
None of that occurred though. Reita just sat there, leaving Ruki guessing, taking comfort in listening to Reita’s breathing. Together they just sat like that for a few minutes, and Ruki was about to question why the rest of the group hadn’t come barreling out to drag them back in.
Surprisingly enough, Ruki felt the bassist move to lay his head on the vocalist shoulder. Maybe it wasn’t a huge gesture or something to celebrate, but from what Ruki had been accustomed to, it was a one eighty. Ruki found himself scooting closer to the bassist.
“Uh…Rei…” Ruki started, planning on asking perhaps what was wrong.
“Come over to my place?” Reita finished for him, even if it wasn’t what he wanted to say.
Say no, say no, say no, say no, say… “O-Okay.”
Ruki just couldn’t. He couldn’t say no to Reita, couldn’t say no to someone he loved. It wasn’t that he wanted to just stop seeing Reita or that he wanted to cut himself off completely from the Reita. He just wanted to reason things out.
Ruki would admit it, sex with Reita was amazing, being so intimate with someone he loved so dear was a gorgeous thing indeed, but now with these new feelings starting to pop up, it became almost like a chore that he didn’t want to do.
“Will you come over after practice?”
Opt out now! The rational part of him was screaming inside to stop this and spill. His heart on the other hand was rather urging to comply.
“Well…I…need to do things…first.” Ruki managed to squeak out.
“Please?” Reita whispered, making the hairs on the back or Ruki’s neck stand up. That needy tone, how it had done Ruki in so many times. And it seemed to be working this time too.
“O-Okay…”
“Thanks.” Reita sat up making Ruki turn to look at him. As the vocalist did so, he found his lips connecting with Reita’s. It was tender kiss, Reita’s lips moving ever so slowly against Ruki’s. The vocalist found himself being pulled deeper and deeper into the kiss with every passing second. And for a brief second, he forgot what he had been concerning himself with. He felt Reita’s tongue gently etch across his lips, and again Ruki could feel that needy sense from the bassist. He had to let Reita take control, had to let Reita have his wish. Like it always seemed.
That seemed to snap Ruki back, his eyes opened, and he broke off the kiss. Not with a quick jerk, but slowly pulling back as if trying to cover up what he had just thought.
Voice weak, Ruki managed to breathe out, “I take it back… I’m sorry… I'll have to decline. I can’t come over tonight…”
† Author’s Note
Okay, this was the first chapter that I have ever had beta-read. Talk about starting off the New Year right XD. It was edited by lovely d_i_x, and even though she says I thank her to much I will thank her once more XD. So thank you again! I appreciate it ;3
About The POV Thing. So I read all the feedback from the prologue, and decided I'm going to try switching back and forth, I figured out how I can swing it~ So look forward to Reita next time.
Happy New Year Everyone!
P.S. - Really off topic - To anyone who has heard THE END from NIL - You know how it's pretty much a riff and some beats and one word being spoken at once? Is that just Ruki? I read somewhere that the whole band was saying their...words in the song. I listened real close, but all I hear is Ruki and maybe Reita in my right earbud. Does anyone know if the whole band is speaking? O.o;; See I'm really off topic here...
Chapter 2