Unbreakable
Title: Unbreakable
Rating: PG-13ish
Centric: Twins.
Status: Previously unposted standalone. Part of the trilogy of the three different stories with the same basic concept.
Summary: It's a memorial, not a gravestone... he tells himself that. Its home is tucked in a corner, behind the tombstones, ones with actual bodies beneath them. The corner is place for those whose body can't be placed. Some are slabs for the cremated, others a slab for the missing... the unfound dead. And the lost.
Kneeling down before the small stone, Benji takes in a deep breath. This isn't right. It's not. It's a symbol of forfeited hope... hope that is justified by theory, but not by fact.
He's the fact. He's the sole justification to the one-eighty, a possibility that seems far-gone... like a ghost. And in the dead of night in a ghastly cemetery, that's exactly what he feels. In essence, it's what he is.
Swallowing hard, he reaches out to trace the engraved lines. It's a memorial, not a gravestone... he tells himself that. Its home is tucked in a corner, behind the tombstones, ones with actual bodies beneath them. The corner is place for those whose body can't be placed. Some are slabs for the cremated, others a slab for the missing... the unfound dead. And the lost.
The words hold a certain weight that drags his heart to his throat.
Benjamin Levi Madden
Life forfeited, age sixteen
Forfeited... he gave up. He gave in and he gave away his life. He had every intention to, anyhow. But something inside of him wouldn't let him do it. The stone tells of a suicide, in the most gentle words possible. But it lies. He left that day to kill himself, gun in hand and suicide note left behind. He left everything behind when the trigger deemed itself unfit to pull, and he forfeited the life he had known for sixteen years.
The police car in the drive way of his home made it impossible to go back. He couldn't, they knew. And if they knew... he was better off "dead." His family would send him away for sure... he'd end up in some low-level mental institution, and he couldn't pay that cost. He couldn't pay it physically or emotionally, and his family couldn't pay for it financially. They had nothing, and Benji was surprised when Billy told him they bought a monument.
Billy. He never planned on meeting up with him. He never planned on meeting up with anyone, actually. It was easier to live a life of death. He was dead to everyone in Waldorf, dead to his family, and dead inside. But in living a life in DC, one secluded from what used to be his world, he was no longer dead inside. Things were awakening... emotions. Regrets, feelings... things he tried so hard to deny and bury were now resurfacing.
Resurfacing just like his past. He ran into Billy in on a sidewalk on his way to work. What were the chances, really? Two million to one? Three? It was the most surreal thing either had dealt with: one dealing with a friend that had supposedly killed himself and the other dealing with a past he wanted to deny he had. But he couldn't deny what was before him, nor could Billy.
Somehow, Billy convinced him to come back... he said he had to tell either way. He guilt-tripped Benji. He said that his family was in shambles, that his mother couldn't stop crying. Josh couldn't stop searching and Sarah couldn't stop cutting, a habit she had picked up months earlier. Dad couldn't stop drinking. And Joel... his heart broke when Billy told him about Joel. He said he could barely move, barely live... that he was a ticking time bomb waiting to explode... to fall apart.
He wanted to see his gravestone. That's all Benji wanted to do, all he wanted to focus on. A memorial stone couldn't deny him, couldn't hate him. It couldn't do any of the things he was afraid his family would do.
He jumps when he sees the outline of a person off in the distance. Suddenly afraid of someone seeing him, Benji slumps behind the comforts of a standing shed, one presumably used to hold equipment for gravediggers. Who comes to a cemetery this late, anyway? It has to be after two, the pitch black sending him on edge as the pale lights lining the winding pathway aid his eyes as footsteps approach.
He watches in shock as the figure walks into the memorial area, bending down before the exact stone Benji had been kneeling by prior... his stone. Suddenly it hits him just who this figure is, his heart stalling in his chest. Joel... Joel. It's Joel.
Inhaling deeply, Joel kneels by the stone. He chews his lips as he brushes grass and dirt from the granite.
"Hey, Benj" he sniffles. "I... I need to talk to someone, and you're the only one who would understand. But..." he pauses. "Dad's really... it's getting really bad. He hit Mom tonight. I... I wish I could have made myself do something, but I couldn't. I know you would have... I know you would have protected us."
Benji swallows hard, his heart breaking as his little brother's face is soon slicked with streams of tears he's been holding back.
"It's just..." Joel inhales deeply. "It's just so hard. I just... part of me says this isn't real, you know? Like you're not gone, that you're still watching me to make sure you keep me in check. But then the other part tells me that you're gone... But, Benj, I don't get why... I don't get how you could do this."
Benji watches as his twin struggles, inhaling before letting the shaky breath out in a woosh.
"I don't know where else to go. I don't know what to do. I don't want to go home and face Dad, not without you. God, if you were here I wouldn't care. I would know you'd protect me."
Joel purses his lips, his body shaking as he breaks out in sobs.
"It's just... Benj" he swallows. "Benj, please... please. I need... I need..." he pleads.
Benji swallows hard, closing his eyes. What does he do? What can he do? Should he just sit there and watch his brother suffer? He can't really just pop out of no where, in the cemetery, nonetheless.
His options are decided for him as his foot slips in the mud, his shoulder coming in loud clattering contact with the metal shed. Joel freezes, jumping about three feet.
"Hello?" he lets out in a shaky voice, now seeing a blurry figure behind the shed, Benji grimacing at his stupidity. Slowly, he brings himself to his feet.
"Hello?" Joel repeats unsurely. Fear rises in his chest. He's alone... alone with this person.
In a split-second decision, Benji steps from behind the shed. He hangs his head so his face isn't completely clear behind the shed. He shakes his head.
"Sorry" he murmurs. "Sorry..." he turns to leave.
"Wait" Joel manages, causing Benji to stop in his tracks. He can't just leave him like this. He's so broken, so vulnerable and weak... so much like he was eight months ago when he thought killing himself was the best option.
"Wait" Joel whispers again. "Who... who...?" Mid-sentence, the answer to his question clicks in his mind and he gasps, eyes growing huge.
"Oh my god, oh my..." he repeats in completely and utter shock.
Sucking air in, Benji pulls his hood back. "I'm sorry" he says. "I... I'll go. You can pretend you never saw me."
"No" Joel whispers before screaming "No!" as his brother turns to leave.
"Joel, I'm so sorry" Benji stalls, glancing away. His whole front is crumbling. Shaking, he can't hold back tears. "I... I'm sorry." Joel stares at him in astonishment. He can't talk, so he shakily uses all his strength to pull himself to his feet. He keeps his disbelieving eyes on Benji the whole time, as if fearing he may disappear if he doesn't.
Staggering forward, he questions, "Benji?" Benji tries to control his breathing as he nods, tears seeping our. Joel shakes his head, stumbling into his brother's arms. He goes weak in Benji's tightening embrace, collapsing and losing himself in sobs crossed with wails. He claws at his brother, trying to hold on, but too shocked to do anything.
Benji closes his eyes, leaning his head back as he holds Joel as tightly as he can.
"I couldn't do it" he whispers. "I couldn't do it, but I couldn't come home, and... I just..."
Joel shakes his head in his brother's chest.
"I knew it" he mumbles. "I knew you weren't... I knew..." Benji lets out a choked laugh.
"God... I missed you so much" he rewraps his arms around his twin's neck, and Joel buries his face in the crook of his long-lost brother's neck.
"I... you... more" is all he can manage. Benji nods.
"I just couldn't do it" he continues. "I couldn't." Pausing, Benji inhales.
"Benj..." Joel begins, his voice restrained and quite. "I... you're coming home, aren't you?"
"I don't know" his brother admits quietly. Joel freezes.
"You have to" he states blankly. "You have to. Mom... Sarah, Josh... everyone. You have to."
"Billy said I could crash there" he offers weakly.
"Billy?" Joel pulls away, his eyes narrowing.
"I ran into him in DC" Benji explains. "He convinced me to come here. But..."
"Just... come on" Joel tugs lightly at his brother's wrist. Benji doesn't budge, glancing towards the other way of the path.
"Benj, I'm serious" Joel stops. "Just... stop. It's time to come home." His brother's eyes fall to the ground, reluctantly.
"What?" Joel snaps. "What is it? Are you worried about what everyone will say? What Dad will do?" Benji freezes, mouth agape.
"That's it" Joel continues. "Dad?"
"Joel..." Benji pleads.
"He can't do anything" the younger twin responds confidently. "He can't. I won't let him hurt you. There's two of us... he can't do anything. You know he can't. I... I need you to come home, okay? I need you to and I promise you that it's going to work out, okay?"
Licking his lips, Benji nods. "I... Okay."
A smile breaks across Joel's face, and he wraps an arm around his brother's shoulders, walking him from the cemetary. Worry interlaces with Benji's insides, and he feels it in the pit of his stomach. But, nonetheless, he knows he's going to be okay. He knows this is going to work out. For the first time in a long time, something in his life is going to work out. And it makes him unbreakable.
Rating: PG-13ish
Centric: Twins.
Status: Previously unposted standalone. Part of the trilogy of the three different stories with the same basic concept.
Summary: It's a memorial, not a gravestone... he tells himself that. Its home is tucked in a corner, behind the tombstones, ones with actual bodies beneath them. The corner is place for those whose body can't be placed. Some are slabs for the cremated, others a slab for the missing... the unfound dead. And the lost.
Kneeling down before the small stone, Benji takes in a deep breath. This isn't right. It's not. It's a symbol of forfeited hope... hope that is justified by theory, but not by fact.
He's the fact. He's the sole justification to the one-eighty, a possibility that seems far-gone... like a ghost. And in the dead of night in a ghastly cemetery, that's exactly what he feels. In essence, it's what he is.
Swallowing hard, he reaches out to trace the engraved lines. It's a memorial, not a gravestone... he tells himself that. Its home is tucked in a corner, behind the tombstones, ones with actual bodies beneath them. The corner is place for those whose body can't be placed. Some are slabs for the cremated, others a slab for the missing... the unfound dead. And the lost.
The words hold a certain weight that drags his heart to his throat.
Benjamin Levi Madden
Life forfeited, age sixteen
Forfeited... he gave up. He gave in and he gave away his life. He had every intention to, anyhow. But something inside of him wouldn't let him do it. The stone tells of a suicide, in the most gentle words possible. But it lies. He left that day to kill himself, gun in hand and suicide note left behind. He left everything behind when the trigger deemed itself unfit to pull, and he forfeited the life he had known for sixteen years.
The police car in the drive way of his home made it impossible to go back. He couldn't, they knew. And if they knew... he was better off "dead." His family would send him away for sure... he'd end up in some low-level mental institution, and he couldn't pay that cost. He couldn't pay it physically or emotionally, and his family couldn't pay for it financially. They had nothing, and Benji was surprised when Billy told him they bought a monument.
Billy. He never planned on meeting up with him. He never planned on meeting up with anyone, actually. It was easier to live a life of death. He was dead to everyone in Waldorf, dead to his family, and dead inside. But in living a life in DC, one secluded from what used to be his world, he was no longer dead inside. Things were awakening... emotions. Regrets, feelings... things he tried so hard to deny and bury were now resurfacing.
Resurfacing just like his past. He ran into Billy in on a sidewalk on his way to work. What were the chances, really? Two million to one? Three? It was the most surreal thing either had dealt with: one dealing with a friend that had supposedly killed himself and the other dealing with a past he wanted to deny he had. But he couldn't deny what was before him, nor could Billy.
Somehow, Billy convinced him to come back... he said he had to tell either way. He guilt-tripped Benji. He said that his family was in shambles, that his mother couldn't stop crying. Josh couldn't stop searching and Sarah couldn't stop cutting, a habit she had picked up months earlier. Dad couldn't stop drinking. And Joel... his heart broke when Billy told him about Joel. He said he could barely move, barely live... that he was a ticking time bomb waiting to explode... to fall apart.
He wanted to see his gravestone. That's all Benji wanted to do, all he wanted to focus on. A memorial stone couldn't deny him, couldn't hate him. It couldn't do any of the things he was afraid his family would do.
He jumps when he sees the outline of a person off in the distance. Suddenly afraid of someone seeing him, Benji slumps behind the comforts of a standing shed, one presumably used to hold equipment for gravediggers. Who comes to a cemetery this late, anyway? It has to be after two, the pitch black sending him on edge as the pale lights lining the winding pathway aid his eyes as footsteps approach.
He watches in shock as the figure walks into the memorial area, bending down before the exact stone Benji had been kneeling by prior... his stone. Suddenly it hits him just who this figure is, his heart stalling in his chest. Joel... Joel. It's Joel.
Inhaling deeply, Joel kneels by the stone. He chews his lips as he brushes grass and dirt from the granite.
"Hey, Benj" he sniffles. "I... I need to talk to someone, and you're the only one who would understand. But..." he pauses. "Dad's really... it's getting really bad. He hit Mom tonight. I... I wish I could have made myself do something, but I couldn't. I know you would have... I know you would have protected us."
Benji swallows hard, his heart breaking as his little brother's face is soon slicked with streams of tears he's been holding back.
"It's just..." Joel inhales deeply. "It's just so hard. I just... part of me says this isn't real, you know? Like you're not gone, that you're still watching me to make sure you keep me in check. But then the other part tells me that you're gone... But, Benj, I don't get why... I don't get how you could do this."
Benji watches as his twin struggles, inhaling before letting the shaky breath out in a woosh.
"I don't know where else to go. I don't know what to do. I don't want to go home and face Dad, not without you. God, if you were here I wouldn't care. I would know you'd protect me."
Joel purses his lips, his body shaking as he breaks out in sobs.
"It's just... Benj" he swallows. "Benj, please... please. I need... I need..." he pleads.
Benji swallows hard, closing his eyes. What does he do? What can he do? Should he just sit there and watch his brother suffer? He can't really just pop out of no where, in the cemetery, nonetheless.
His options are decided for him as his foot slips in the mud, his shoulder coming in loud clattering contact with the metal shed. Joel freezes, jumping about three feet.
"Hello?" he lets out in a shaky voice, now seeing a blurry figure behind the shed, Benji grimacing at his stupidity. Slowly, he brings himself to his feet.
"Hello?" Joel repeats unsurely. Fear rises in his chest. He's alone... alone with this person.
In a split-second decision, Benji steps from behind the shed. He hangs his head so his face isn't completely clear behind the shed. He shakes his head.
"Sorry" he murmurs. "Sorry..." he turns to leave.
"Wait" Joel manages, causing Benji to stop in his tracks. He can't just leave him like this. He's so broken, so vulnerable and weak... so much like he was eight months ago when he thought killing himself was the best option.
"Wait" Joel whispers again. "Who... who...?" Mid-sentence, the answer to his question clicks in his mind and he gasps, eyes growing huge.
"Oh my god, oh my..." he repeats in completely and utter shock.
Sucking air in, Benji pulls his hood back. "I'm sorry" he says. "I... I'll go. You can pretend you never saw me."
"No" Joel whispers before screaming "No!" as his brother turns to leave.
"Joel, I'm so sorry" Benji stalls, glancing away. His whole front is crumbling. Shaking, he can't hold back tears. "I... I'm sorry." Joel stares at him in astonishment. He can't talk, so he shakily uses all his strength to pull himself to his feet. He keeps his disbelieving eyes on Benji the whole time, as if fearing he may disappear if he doesn't.
Staggering forward, he questions, "Benji?" Benji tries to control his breathing as he nods, tears seeping our. Joel shakes his head, stumbling into his brother's arms. He goes weak in Benji's tightening embrace, collapsing and losing himself in sobs crossed with wails. He claws at his brother, trying to hold on, but too shocked to do anything.
Benji closes his eyes, leaning his head back as he holds Joel as tightly as he can.
"I couldn't do it" he whispers. "I couldn't do it, but I couldn't come home, and... I just..."
Joel shakes his head in his brother's chest.
"I knew it" he mumbles. "I knew you weren't... I knew..." Benji lets out a choked laugh.
"God... I missed you so much" he rewraps his arms around his twin's neck, and Joel buries his face in the crook of his long-lost brother's neck.
"I... you... more" is all he can manage. Benji nods.
"I just couldn't do it" he continues. "I couldn't." Pausing, Benji inhales.
"Benj..." Joel begins, his voice restrained and quite. "I... you're coming home, aren't you?"
"I don't know" his brother admits quietly. Joel freezes.
"You have to" he states blankly. "You have to. Mom... Sarah, Josh... everyone. You have to."
"Billy said I could crash there" he offers weakly.
"Billy?" Joel pulls away, his eyes narrowing.
"I ran into him in DC" Benji explains. "He convinced me to come here. But..."
"Just... come on" Joel tugs lightly at his brother's wrist. Benji doesn't budge, glancing towards the other way of the path.
"Benj, I'm serious" Joel stops. "Just... stop. It's time to come home." His brother's eyes fall to the ground, reluctantly.
"What?" Joel snaps. "What is it? Are you worried about what everyone will say? What Dad will do?" Benji freezes, mouth agape.
"That's it" Joel continues. "Dad?"
"Joel..." Benji pleads.
"He can't do anything" the younger twin responds confidently. "He can't. I won't let him hurt you. There's two of us... he can't do anything. You know he can't. I... I need you to come home, okay? I need you to and I promise you that it's going to work out, okay?"
Licking his lips, Benji nods. "I... Okay."
A smile breaks across Joel's face, and he wraps an arm around his brother's shoulders, walking him from the cemetary. Worry interlaces with Benji's insides, and he feels it in the pit of his stomach. But, nonetheless, he knows he's going to be okay. He knows this is going to work out. For the first time in a long time, something in his life is going to work out. And it makes him unbreakable.