How Did This Sound Get So Amped Up
Title: How Did This Sound Get So Amped Up
Pairing: Jaebum/Jinyoung (mentions of Jinyoung/Jackson)
Rating: R
Summary: Jaebum doesn't know when he started loving Jinyoung more than what was necessary.
A/N: This fic is literally 8 months overdue, but it's written for the amazing gotchick :)
how did this sound get so amped up
They meet on a humid summer day at JYP's 5th Open Audition. It's only twenty minutes before his scheduled audition time when Jaebum flies into the waiting room, bowing to the staff in a silent apology for being late. He was told to arrive at least an hour before his scheduled time, but Jaebum was never someone who followed rules well. The staff sighs as she hands him a clipboard and he drops into one of the many vacant chairs to begin filling out his paper work. There's only three other auditionees sitting there, but Jaebum's not surprised. He had received the last time slot of the day.
"They're also running late," one guy tells him curtly after giving him a once over before putting his earphones back in. The only girl sitting there doesn't even spare him a glance, eyes glued to her phone as she hums her audition song repeatedly under her breath.
Jaebum takes in his surroundings, from the huge glass panel doors to the lone plant in the corner, thinking maybe this is where he'll call home some day before his eyes finally settle on the final person in the room sitting diagonally from him on the edge of the seat. The boy looks around his age, black hair matted just above his eyes. He has a fast rhythm going with the way he's tapping his feet against the floor and his pen against the clipboard and it wouldn't be a half bad beat any other day, but today, Jaebum wasn't in the mood to deal with any unnecessary distractions.
A few minutes pass and the stranger still seems completely oblivious to the fact Jaebum's staring at him as he switches his foot tapping for leg shaking instead while playing with his fingers.
"What is your name?" Jaebum finally asks as a last resort in order to stop the boy from fidgeting so much because it was driving him absolutely crazy and making him more nervous than he needed to be.
"Huh? Oh, it's Park Jinyoung," the other boy mutters quietly while glancing up shyly.
"Park Jinyoung?" Jaebum replies with an amused look on his face. "Seriously?"
"Yeah, don't ask," Jinyoung grumbles again as he returns his focus back to his hands shaking in his lap. His cheeks are colored a rosy pink by now.
"Well, nice to meet you, Park Jinyoung," Jaebum emphasizes the name with a mischievous tone in his voice. "My name's Jaebum. Im Jaebum." He sits back and crosses his arm, waiting for the other boy's reaction.
Jinyoung looks up and raises an eyebrow before breaking into laughter. "You're kidding."
"Maybe I am, but got you to laugh, didn't I?"
Jinyoung blushes another shade darker. "Is that really your name though?"
"Swear to god," Jaebum grins back.
"Huh," Jinyoung clicks his tongue. "It's nice to meet you too."
"I think we're going to do just fine," Jaebum says with confidence, tilting his head towards the audition room door. The mischievous glint in his eyes never leaves. "And I think we're going to be great friends."
Jaebum's right. They both kill the first round of auditions. Jinyoung goes in first and leaves the judges in awe with his rich vocals. He smiles at Jaebum as he leaves the room and mouths thank you, hwaiting at the other boy. Jaebum runs a hand through his hair before entering, only to have it get completely messed up again as he stuns the judges with his breakdancing.
Second round of auditions happen two weeks later. Jinyoung's still a nervous wreck this time around as he glances around the waiting room, eyes on the lookout for a familiar face. But, Jaebum never shows and Jinyoung prays in his heart that the other boy is just auditioning during another time slot. He wanted so badly for Jaebum to have passed.
They meet again at the end of the month during the final round of auditions. Jaebum feels Jinyoung's nervous energy before he even sees him as he breezes into the waiting room.
"You didn't think you could get rid of me that easily, did you?" Jaebum smirks as he makes his way towards Jinyoung. The other auditionees look at Jaebum with slight annoyance on their faces, clearly intimidated by his confidence, but not Jinyoung. His face lights up into the most radiant eye smile as he scoots over on the plastic bench to make room for the other boy.
Jinyoung goes in first again this time, No. 24 printed on a flimsy piece of paper taped onto the front of his shirt. He sings Lee Seunggi's You're My Woman, but it's not the face of the pretty long haired girl who sits in front of him during Algebra he thought he would see as he belts out the final note. Jaebum follows after with No. 25 on his shirt and this time, he doesn't breakdance, doesn't even do any choreography at all. Instead, he sings Rain's I Do, voice smooth and sultry as he stares the judges right in their eyes, silently daring them to pass up on a star like himself.
They're brought into one of JYP's real training rooms a day later to practice for their final round of auditions. They're told to pick a group amongst themselves for the performance and naturally, Jinyoung gravitates towards Jaebum, asking him through bashful lashes if he wants to be in a group together. Jaebum doesn't think he's ever replied yes to something so fast in his life.
The day is filled with awkward frustration and loud beats of music as they discover just how different their dancing styles are from their reflections in the mirror. But that doesn't stop them from dancing so hard until eventually, Jaebum's sharp and clean moves perfected from years of breakdancing melts with Jinyoung's natural smooth and fluid movements.
The next day, when the dark stage gets lit up by spotlights on the both of them dancing their hearts out and they hear deafening screams from the audience is when they realize just how perfect they complement one another and how unstoppable they're going to be.
Jaebum and Jinyoung both tie for first place, something that has never happened in JYP history. A camera's shoved up to their faces along with a bouquet of flowers and a trophy as soon as they make their way downstairs to the lobby. Jinyoung takes the mic first, still high from the adrenaline of winning and rambles off his feelings in one quick breath. Jaebum listens carefully from the side, memorizing the way Jinyoung's voice dips and rises with his satoori accent. Jinyoung passes him the mic when he's done and looks at him hesitantly. And that's when Jaebum realizes that they don't really know each other and here they were being interviewed together as if they were a duo.
When Jinyoung pulls Jaebum into a tight celebratory hug before they part their ways that night, Jaebum thinks maybe, just maybe, they could be something great together.
A month later, they begin their official trainee life at JYP. They're thrust into existing practice groups with senior trainees due to their effortless talents, but it's not all smooth sailing as the older boys try to give them a hard time for intruding the ranks. Jaebum never bats an eye when this happens, just tugs on Jinyoung's hand lightly to find them a spot in the last row during dance practice.
Jinyoung doesn't mind that he constantly hears not so subtle whispers of Jinyoung-oh he's the one who's always with Jaebum or the guy that's always in Jaebum's shadows because he likes watching Jaebum shine like the brightest star in the universe.
They were best friends, Jaebum and Jinyoung, that's how it's always been, even from day one.
The other trainees give them uneasy glances, thinking there must be an unspoken rivalry between the two. Jaebum's years of breakdancing gives him an early edge in the area, but Jinyoung never falls too far behind, his natural born ability to dance starting to erupt from his veins. Jinyoung starts off as the vocalist, but then Jaebum picks up the mic and the company's left to wonder just who should be the lead vocal in their new upcoming boy group.
It's easy to fall into Jaebum's routine. He's stubborn, hot tempered and really difficult to deal with sometimes, but Jinyoung quickly learns all the other little things that makes Jaebum so contagious to be around. Jaebum is all sharp and harsh lines, resorts to punches instead of words, an enigma caught up in the night, but Jinyoung finds himself falling deeper into the darkness, desperately wanting to be the only person who can unwrap the mystery that's Im Jaebum.
Jinyoung doesn't tell Jaebum that he often sees his face when he closes his eyes at night while drifting off to sleep. Jaebum, with his dangerous smile and fiery touch.
Sometimes, Jinyoung's self doubt gets the best of him. And during times like these, he turns extra clingy with Jaebum because Jinyoung needs reassurance in the form of words and touches.
"Do you think we'll make it?" Jinyoung asks him one night when they're lying on the hard concrete on the company's rooftop.
"Of course," Jaebum replies a little bit too quickly for it to sound convincing, but he hates it when Jinyoung gets into one of these moods where his confidence drops super low, it takes hours of convincing to bring it back up. He doesn't want Jinyoung to doubt himself even for a second because he thinks Jinyoung's born for the stage and there's no one he rather see shine more than Jinyoung himself.
"Promise?"
"Promise," Jaebum says as he links his pinky with Jinyoung's. "I'll be there with you every step of the way. Besides, we're Im Jaebum and Park Jinyoung. Even our names say we're meant for greatness."
"Im Jaebum and Park Jinyoung," the other boy repeats quietly under his breath. "I guess we are."
"And don't you forget it."
Jinyoung smiles and shuffles closer to Jaebum.
It's Jaebum who makes the first move by kissing Jinyoung first.
Jaebum kisses like how he lives life, aggressive, messy and passionate as he pins Jinyoung against the kitchen counter and places his lips insistently over the other boy's. Jinyoung gasps at the initial contact of soft lips against his own and pulls away, but he can't escape Jaebum's burning gaze, a silent dare for him to say no. And Jinyoung can't say no, not when he's been fantasizing about this moment for months now, but he doesn't want this to be an impulsive decision Jaebum makes while intoxicated.
"You're drunk," Jinyoung turns his head away. Jaebum is still pressing against him unbearably close and the cold counter digs uncomfortably into his back. They had just returned from celebrating another trainee's birthday and Jaebum had accidentally sneaked more soju shots than intended.
"You think that's why I'm kissing you?" Jaebum replies with a laugh and he doesn't seem to mind that Jinyoung has turned away as he turns his attention to Jinyoung's neck instead, placing feather like kisses against smooth skin.
"Isn't it?" Jinyoung's breath hitches.
"No, stupid."
"Then why are you kissing me?"
"If you shut up, I'll show you why," Jaebum looks at him pointedly.
So Jinyoung stops talking and lets Jaebum answer all his questions in kisses instead of words.
It's because you're my best friend.
Jaebum skillfully works his way into Jinyoung's mouth, tangling their tongues together in a heated dance, licking hot stripes everywhere.
It's because it's always been us against the world.
Jinyoung feels like he's about to collapse as he melts into Jaebum's warmth, but Jaebum just holds him tighter and kisses him harder until Jinyoung is whining, fingers buried in Jaebum's soft hair, responding to every little touch.
It's because I love you.
Their routine is simple. They wake up at the crack of dawn, Jinyoung dragging a grouchy Jaebum out of bed and forcing him into the shower. When Jaebum emerges fifteen minutes later, water still dripping from his hair, somewhat more alert and plops down at the kitchen table, Jinyoung always has a plate of scrambled eggs waiting for him, drenched in the gojujang sauce Jaebum likes so much.
They spend all day at the company practicing and by the time they leave, it's already pitch dark outside. This time it's Jaebum who pulls a bleary eyed Jinyoung down the road back to their dorm.
"Can we get food?" Jinyoung asks hopefully while they wait at a busy intersection.
"Yes," Jaebum nods.
The light turns green and Jaebum tugs on Jinyoung's hand. The cars all come to a stop behind the white line.
Jaebum leads and Jinyoung follows.
Jaebum doesn't know when he started loving Jinyoung more than what was necessary. More than what was needed of him to be considered a good hyung, a good best friend. All he knows is that now he gets way too breathless and his heart starts beating out of control whenever Jinyoung comes into view.
During dance practice, Jaebum watches Jinyoung carefully run through the routine and he can't take his eyes off of the way Jinyoung's lean muscles move underneath his flimsy tank, so effortlessly to the beat of the music. Jinyoung has grown up so quickly, so breathtakingly beautifully. His Jinyoung.
"Hyung, why are you staring?" Jinyoung asks as he plops down next to Jaebum against the mirror.
Jaebum had been so deep into his thoughts he hadn't realized Jinyoung's stopped the music and is now inches away from him. He doesn't say a word, just tackles Jinyoung onto the ground and kisses him so hard, tiny stars explode behind Jinyoung's eyes. Jaebum kisses Jinyoung until the younger boy makes the soft whining noise at the back of his throat that Jaebum's absolutely addicted to hearing. The sound that's reserved for Jaebum's ears only.
"I love you," Jaebum shyly presses each word against Jinyoung's lips before burying his head into the crook of his neck.
Jinyoung smiles Jaebum's favorite kind of smile, the one where his mouth stretches from side to side and his eyes crinkle up to reveal perfect crescents.
"God, I love you too."
It's the middle of summer when a mysterious new trainee enters the practice room, happy and energetic, bouncing up and down on his heels.
"This is Jackson," one of the staff tells the group. "He's from Hong Kong and he doesn't know Korean well yet so please look after him."
The staff leaves and Jackson turns to grin at them with a lopsided smile adorning his face before his eyes settle on Jaebum.
"Hey, you're the b-boy king! Hi!" he waves enthusiastically. "I saw you practice when I came to visit the company a few weeks back."
Jaebum gives him a weird glance and smiles politely, but doesn't say much in return. Jackson pouts at the lack of response and turns his attention to Jinyoung instead.
"What's your name?" he asked in accented Korean.
"Park Jinyoung."
Jackson's eyes widen and he looks so genuinely confused, Jinyoung can't help but burst out laughing. He has always loved pulling the name card on new trainees. Jackson rubs his neck sheepishly and looks to the ground.
"Aww, Jackson-ah, come here!" Jinyoung grins as he slings an arm around the other boy. "I'm just playing with you."
Jackson laughs nervously. "What's your real name then?"
"It really is Park Jinyoung though," he answers in all seriousness. "Just call me Jinyoung."
Jaebum looks on in awe as Jackson's wild high pitched laughter echoes throughout the practice room, clearly feeling much more welcomed that before. He wished he was as friendly as Jinyoung, always wearing a warm smile on his face. Jinyoung has a talent for making people feel at ease, making them feel like he's their home away from home.
Jaebum thinks maybe that's how he ended up making a permanent home in Jinyoung's heart.
Jackson is a whirlwind of positive energy; loud, charismatic and extremely affectionate. He tells dumb jokes that has all the other trainees laughing, especially Jinyoung, who usually cracks up so hard, soft lines surround his eyes.
There's nothing Jaebum likes more than to see Jinyoung laugh this brightly and earnestly and it makes his heart flutter. What he doesn't like is knowing he's now not the only source of Jinyoung's laughter.
Jackson also has no problem dropping a casual arm around someone despite not knowing them for a long period of time. Jaebum stiffens whenever Jackson wraps himself around him like a koala before eventually pushing him away, face heating up in embarrassment and annoyance.
Jinyoung, on the other hand, easily gives into Jackson's platonic skinship and always clings back when he's around. Jinyoung is just as touchy so it's no wonder he's so receptive to Jackson's behavior. Jaebum doesn't like seeing that either. It's petty and immature, but he can't help it.
It's not that Jaebum is cold hearted and doesn't know how to love.
His only problem is that he only knows how to love Jinyoung.
"Am I still your favorite?" Jaebum blurts out loud by accident to Jinyoung one night when they're walking back to the dorm, just the two of them.
"What?" Jinyoung's eyes widen in shock and confusion as he stops dead in his tracks.
"Nevermind," Jaebum panics as he walks ahead to press the button on the stoplight pole so he can cross the street faster.
Jaebum doesn't like feeling insecure and he hates it even more showing it. He doesn't realize how much weight those five simple words carry until it's out in the open.
"Of course you're my favorite," Jinyoung replies, giving Jaebum a weird look.
"Okay, good," Jaebum replies easily.
"Am I still your favorite?" Jinyoung retorts, almost angry and offended that Jaebum would ask him such a thing.
"You'll always be my favorite," Jaebum says and the light turns green.
Jinyoung hooks his arms with Jaebum's and they cross, steps falling into perfect sync.
"That new guy Jackson is really funny," Jinyoung tells Jaebum one night when they're squished onto Jaebum's single mattress, limbs tangled in the most awkward yet comfortable position. They have separate rooms, but Jinyoung doesn't like falling asleep at night by himself.
"Hmm," Jaebum hums in agreement, but doesn't say anything more.
Jinyoung's lazily drawing random patterns onto Jaebum's side with his finger, occasionally switching to hangul characters in between.
"We should hang out with him more," Jinyoung continues. "You're never there when I hang out with him. I think you'll really like him."
Jaebum closes his eyes in pleasure when he feels Jinyoung trace 사랑해요 (saranghaeyo), his skin heating up at each spot Jinyoung touches and there's goosebumps all over his body by the time Jinyoung draws the last line.
"Yeah maybe," Jaebum grumbles as he shifts and presses himself closer to Jinyoung, drinking in the scent of Jinyoung's lingering body wash.
"I think he's lonely since he's from Hong Kong and all-"
"Jinyoung," Jaebum says as he moves his face up and pulls Jinyoung's plump bottom lip in between his teeth. "I don't want to talk about Jackson anymore."
"Okay," Jinyoung gasps in return. He knows Jaebum well enough to know not to push something on him.
Jaebum kisses Jinyoung with so much lust, but rocks into him sweet and slow that night, drawing out the most beautiful sounds from Jinyoung's mouth.
When Jaebum sits down at the kitchen table the next morning and Jinyoung hands him his plate of scrambled eggs, Jaebum pulls Jinyoung down by the back of his neck and lightly kisses over the spot on his neck that's been marked by Jaebum himself the previous night.
Jinyoung has a new mission these days to busy himself with and it's to properly learn English from Jackson.
"He's a native speaker," Jinyoung tells Jaebum when he turns down the other boy's invitation to go get dinner. "I want an authentic person to teach me, not one of the company's teachers who just makes us do worksheets."
"Why don't you ask Mark then," Jaebum says pointedly. "I think he's more native than Jackson if you want to get technical."
Jinyoung shrugs. "I don't know Mark that well yet. Jackson's more talkative. We'll get dinner tomorrow, okay?"
"Okay," Jaebum nods and he watches Jinyoung crawl into the van that brings Jackson and Mark back to the other dorm.
They don't really get to see each other that much anymore, Jinyoung having picked English as his second language to study and Jaebum having picked Japanese. Their language classes are during opposite times, which means their vocal lessons that they usually have together get switched too. The only time they get to see each other is during late night dance practices, but that's not exactly an ideal time to actually hang out. And by the time they go back to their dorm, both are ready to pass out from exhaustion to do anything else.
Jinyoung cancels plans with Jaebum the next day again, explaining quickly about how Jackson had invited him to go watch some new American action movie that's playing in the theater in Hongdae that he's been dying to see.
"You want to come?" Jinyoung asks.
"Nah, I'll go hang out with Hyunwoo-hyung."
"Fine," Jinyoung pouts. "But hey, just don't forget we're going to that guitar place week, okay? You promised you'll help me look at guitars," Jinyoung says as he places a quick kiss on Jaebum's lips before darting out the front entrance. "See you later!"
There's whispers about a new boy group debuting. Jaebum had caught the rumors when he was in the bathroom and he had overheard some other senior trainees in another practice group talk about it anxiously.
"They're discussing members for a new boy group," he tells Jinyoung and the rest of their group when he returns. "They're announcing the lineup beginning of next month or something."
"Shit really," Jinyoung murmurs as he starts fidgeting. "We better kill it at the monthly evaluation then."
"Hyung, I bet you'll definitely make it," Yugyeom tells Jaebum. "You and Jinyoung-hyung."
"We'll see. Let's practice, yeah?"
Later that night, Jinyoung quietly opens Jaebum's door and pads over to his bed.
"Hey, are you awake?" Jinyoung whispers.
Jaebum turns around and he already knows why Jinyoung's here, what Jinyoung's going to ask. Jaebum pulls him down onto the bed with him without a word, circling an arm around Jinyoung's waist.
"What if-" Jinyoung begins.
"Don't," Jaebum interrupts. "I know what you're going to ask. You're going to make the cut and you're going to debut."
"But what if I don't?" Jinyoung lets out a shaky breath. "And you do?"
"It doesn't matter. I'm never going to debut without you anyway," Jaebum replies as if it's the most logical thing in the world.
"That's stupid," Jinyoung sighs. "I'm not going to let you throw away your dream just because I don't make it."
"You're stupid," Jaebum grumbles in return. "It's not my dream unless you're there with me."
Jackson knows exactly what buttons to push to get Jaebum riled up. Jaebum won't say he hates Jackson, that's too strong of a word, just extremely dislike. Jackson's loud and never knows when to shut up and it's not always a bad thing since he lightens the mood for the group most of the time, but there's just occasions where Jaebum wants some silence after a long day of practice just to hear himself think.
Jinyoung collapses against the mirror, breathing heavy after the final choreography run. Jackson makes a beeline for Jinyoung and sprawls out next to him, pillowing his head in Jinyoung's lap. Jinyoung instinctively runs his hand through Jackson's hair over and over gently and it's simple things like these that somehow gets Jaebum annoyed the most. He can't blame Jinyoung though, it's just in the other boy's nature to be caring and he knows Jinyoung doesn't mean anything by it.
"Jackson-ah, get off of me. You're heavy," Jinyoung eventually laughs as he attempts to roll Jackson off.
"But it's comfortable here," Jackson says as he hitches his leg up, propping one up over the other.
"Get off, you fatass," Jinyoung hits him playfully. "I'm really sore from practice and you're not helping."
"Don't want to," Jackson sing-songs as he shifts his position and only buries his head deeper towards Jinyoung's stomach.
"Jackson, get off of him," Jaebum's voice rings out authoritatively in the practice room, his demand bouncing off the mirrors.
"Make me," Jackson huffs as he glances towards Jaebum.
"Jackson, don't make me-"
"It's fine," Jinyoung suddenly cuts in and gives Jaebum an exasperated look. "You don't have to make a big deal out of it."
"Whatever," Jaebum stands up and grabs his water bottle, muttering something about how he's going to get a refill before slamming the practice room door shut.
Jaebum's never liked people touching things that don't belong to them.
When Jaebum finally gets Jinyoung alone that night, he presses Jinyoung deep into the mattress and fucks him until the other boy's voice is hoarse from moaning. He litters kisses along Jinyoung's neck, turning them into bites halfway, leaving countless dark purpling bruises that will sure make Jinyoung flush the next day he looks in the mirror. Jaebum is relentless in the way he teases Jinyoung and only pushes himself in when Jinyoung's clawing at his back, desperately panting for more. It's cruel and twisted, but Jaebum loves having the upper hand, loves turning Jinyoung into a hot thrashing mess, loves reminding Jinyoung who he belongs to.
Jaebum's biggest downfall will always be loving Jinyoung too much.
The tension finally hits a breaking point one day at practice. It's almost two in the morning, the automatic lights in the practice room about to switch off at any minute now when Jackson trips over his own foot during the middle of a routine and messes up the formation.
"Jackson," Jaebum snaps with an irritated tone. "We've gone through this routine a million times already. Stop making mistakes that shouldn't be happening." Jaebum knows how blunt he is with his words, but he just doesn't know how to polish them like Jinyoung does before he opens his mouth.
"It was an accident," Jackson fires back as he mops his sweaty bangs out of his eyes.
"Well there won't be room for accidents when we debut so I suggest you get your shit together." Jaebum doesn't realize how harsh his words are until he sees Jinyoung looking at him with disappointment in his eyes, but it's too late. It's already been said.
"Just because you started training before me doesn't mean you're better than me," Jackson spits out so smoothly, there's barely a trace of an accent, as if he's been practicing that line for weeks, just waiting for a chance to say it.
The room stills, everyone's sneakers squeaking to a halt against the wooden floor as they all turn to look at Jackson and Jaebum, bracing themselves for the worst. Yugyeom shuffles closer to Kunpimook but they don't do anything because they know it's not their place to intervene.
"What did you say to me?" Jaebum scowls as he walks towards Jackson.
"You heard me, leader," Jackson taunts back. "Just because you won some audition with Jinyoung and PD-nim treats you like his little golden child doesn't mean you know everything so stop acting like it. If you were so good, you would have debuted already. You wouldn't be here like the rest of us-"
Jaebum lands his fist in Jackson's jaw and the younger boy doubles over in pain.
Mark takes this as cue to step in as he throws himself in front of Jaebum and calmly pushes him away before he can take another swing at Jackson. Jinyoung runs to Jackson who's holding his face in his hand, muttering a string of curses in both Cantonese and English.
"Are you okay?" Jinyoung immediately asks as he pushes Jackson's hands out of the way to examine his face. There's no sign of blood anywhere and Jinyoung breathes a sigh of relief.
Jaebum's blood is positively boiling at this point as he watches Jinyoung fuss over Jackson without even bothering to spare him a glance. So this is what it has come to. Two years of friendship and the lingering promise of something more all taken over by a boy with an infectious laugh and carefree personality.
But then Jinyoung speaks up again and his voice is so cold, Jaebum almost flinches and Jackson recoils even more instead of lunging back at Jaebum.
"Don't you talk about Jaebum-hyung like that ever again."
Jinyoung spins on his heels without another word and grabs Jaebum's hand, pulling him out of the practice room and down the hall, pushing him into the nearest bathroom. He wets a few paper towels under the tap and wraps them around Jaebum's knuckles.
"You're so stupid," he begins. "Why do you always have to get into fights? Why do you always have to let your pride get the best of you? He's going to be one of our members, can't you learn to put your differences aside? You can't act like this when we debut. Jesus christ, Jaebum."
Jinyoung stops his rant when he looks at Jaebum and the older boy isn't saying a word like how he usually does after a fight, trying to protest and justify his actions.
"I'm sorry," is all Jaebum says before leaning against the tiled walls. "I'm so sorry."
Jinyoung's expression softens. "It's okay," he mutters as he plays with Jaebum's sleeves. "Just stop being an idiot okay? You worry me sick," Jinyoung's last comment comes out so quiet, Jaebum barely catches it.
"You were worried about me?" Jaebum cocks an eyebrow. "Didn't seem like it with the way you ran to Jackson so quick."
And Jaebum hates himself for always being too blunt and putting his foot in his mouth. The second those words leave his mouth, he sees the flash of anger back in Jinyoung's eyes.
"Im Jaebum, you're so fucking stupid. I seriously can't stand you sometimes. Of course I worry about you! Why do you think I'm in this stupid bathroom right now with you? I always worry about you the most!" Jinyoung screams half heartedly before he throws Jaebum's hand down and makes his way towards the door.
Jaebum catches Jinyoung's wrist in a panic and pulls the younger boy back into a bone crushing hug with no courage to ever let go.
And that's when Jaebum realizes it's never been Jinyoung who needed self assurance the most. It was always him hanging onto Jinyoung by barely a thread, desperately in love with him. Jinyoung with his soft eyes and gentle voice.
Jinyoung gets it though. He knows what Jaebum really means even if the other boy doesn't say it as he leans up to kiss all of Jaebum's insecurities away.
"I always worry about you the most," he repeats softly against Jaebum's lips.
Jaebum barely talks to Jackson after the incident. He acknowledges Jackson curtly with a nod when they see each other at practice, but doesn't say more than what he has to. Jinyoung's caught in the middle, but he's not the type of person to cut ties with anyone for no good reason so he tries his best to divide his time between Jaebum and Jackson.
"Can't you just talk to Jackson about it?" Jinyoung asks Jaebum one night when they're getting ready to sleep. "He's convinced that you hate him."
"Well, he wouldn't be wrong."
"Come on, Jaebum, Jackson's not even that bad. He's funny! Why can't you just talk to him?" Jinyoung urges.
"Because I don't fucking want to," Jaebum snaps. The end of the month evaluation is nearing and he's stressed to no end since he still haven't decided on a song to sing or gotten his dance routine down. The last thing he wanted to discuss while lying in Jinyoung's bed is Jackson.
Jaebum pulls the blanket off of him and slides out of Jinyoung's bed, crossing over to the door in big strides.
"What are you doing?" Jinyoung asks quizzically.
"Sleeping in my own bed," Jaebum replies and shuts the door on his way out.
Jaebum never shows up to the guitar store where he's supposed to meet Jinyoung.
hey where are you?
are you still coming? did your vocal lesson run late?
jaebum seriously...reply to me...are you coming or not?
ugh did you really forget???
Jinyoung's string of text messages go unanswered and after about half an hour, he knows that Jaebum's not coming. By the time Jinyoung comes home with a brand new guitar in his hands, Jaebum's already asleep.
"Sorry about yesterday," Jaebum says awkwardly at breakfast the next morning. "Something came up."
Jinyoung doesn't ask what could have possibly came up, just clears Jaebum's plate and drops it in the sink.
"I see you bought one though. Did you pick it out yourself?"
Jinyoung shrugs as he makes his way towards the bathroom to get ready. "A friend helped me."
If Jaebum knows that Jackson was the one who ended up going to help Jinyoung pick out a guitar, he doesn't say anything.
It's the day before Jinyoung's birthday. Every year, the day before Jinyoung's birthday, they go to Gangnam to this tiny music store nestled at the end of the main street. It sticks out like a sore thumb next to all the glamorous designer stores, but it's Jinyoung's favorite place.
Jaebum had brought him here back when they first became trainees, revealing to Jinyoung that he loves coming here whenever he's in a bad mood. Jaebum had also told him he'll buy Jinyoung whatever album he wants on his birthday. Jinyoung had kept the promise in the back of his mind, but didn't actually expect Jaebum to go through with it, not until his birthday had actually rolled around and he walked out of the shop with a copy of Michael Buble's Crazy Love in his hand, paid for by Jaebum's pocket money.
His next birthday, Jaebum buys him Anberlin's Dark Is the Way, Light Is a Place and the following birthday, Red Hot Chili Peppers' I'm With You.
Jaebum already knows this year, Jinyoung will probably want to get Frank Ocean's new album, despite having downloaded the digital version already. He's been talking nonstop about all the songs, even showing Jaebum a cover he's been working on
He's lying on the couch casually flipping through the TV channels when Jinyoung bounds down the hall.
"Jinyoung-ah," Jaebum sits up when he sees the other boy make his way towards their shoe rack. "Where are you going?"
"Jackson's at the company doing some extra vocal lessons. I'm meeting him there and then we're going to get lunch."
"But your birthday's tomorrow."
"Yeah, so?" Jinyoung replies in confusion.
Jaebum can't even control the flash of hurt in his eyes as he stands up.
"But we always go to Gangnam the day before your birthday," Jaebum's voice comes out louder than intended, more like an order rather than a suggestion.
Jinyoung's eyes widen in guilt.
"Oh hyung, I'm so sorry. I totally forgot."
And that only makes Jaebum more angry because not only did Jinyoung forget their tradition in the first place, he had forgotten an event where Jaebum does something special just for him.
"Unbelievable," Jaebum shakes his head as he pushes past Jinyoung to walk towards his room.
"Can Jackson come? We can still go," Jinyoung offers with a sigh as he spins on his heel and follows Jaebum down the hall.
"Oh please, don't act like you're doing me a favor by going. Forget it. Go hang out with whoever the fuck you want," Jaebum hisses as he reaches for the doorknob, but Jinyoung's a step ahead of him as he slaps his hand across the door frame, blocking Jaebum from entering.
"Yah," Jinyoung says and Jaebum catches the slight satoori accent that's laced with the single syllable. He knows Jinyoung's accent only comes out when he's pissed.
"What the hell is wrong with you these days?" Jinyoung asks and he stares Jaebum right in the eye. Jaebum's taller, but even the extra inch of height isn't helping him from feeling so much more inferior. Jinyoung might be kind eyes and soft smiles, but when pushed to his limits, Jinyoung does in fact have quite a temper.
"Watch. Your. Tone." Jaebum spits back equally as fierce, punctuating each word as he slams Jinyoung's arm down so he can reach for the doorknob. "I'm still your hyung."
Jinyoung scoffs and his hand reaches for Jaebum's wrist this time, tightening his fingers around heated skin.
"Drop the act, Im Jaebum," Jinyoung says and the older boy flinches at the sound of his own name. He knows this is the last straw. Jinyoung only ever drops the honorifics when he's seriously about to blow up. The satoori is just a warning.
"You've been a complete asshole these days. To me, to Jackson. I've had enough of your moodiness. Just tell me what's going on." Jinyoung's grip on Jaebum's wrist is relentless.
One heartbeat. Two heartbeats. Three heartbeats. Four heartbeats. Five heartbeats.
Jaebum still doesn't say a word. He's too prideful for that. And besides, he wanted Jinyoung to figure it out for himself what was wrong. He wanted Jinyoung to feel the same frustration that's been eating him up alive.
One more heartbeat and Jinyoung loses it. He tugs Jaebum forward from the awkward position they're standing in along the bedroom entrance and slams Jaebum's back against the door.
"Back off, Jinyoung," Jaebum says wearily as the pool of fire burns in his stomach. "Don't start with me."
"Or what?" Jinyoung challenges.
"Get the fuck off of me, Park Jinyoung," Jaebum growls as he shoves Jinyoung against the opposite wall of the hallway. If Jinyoung wanted to get physical, Jaebum wasn't going to back down. This was a fight Jinyoung didn't want to start.
"Don't mention Jackson's name in front of me," he jabs a finger into Jinyoung's chest and turns to go into the room.
But Jinyoung's equally stubborn when he wants to be. "Just tell me what the hell you're talking about!" he cries in frustration as he grabs Jaebum's wrist once again.
Jaebum turns around so fast that Jinyoung's fully expecting a fist to land in his face, but instead, hungry lips claim his own. Jaebum kisses Jinyoung with so much force, the younger automatically staggers against the wall from the momentum.
"Jaebum-" he gasps and the older boy takes this opportunity to slip his tongue into Jinyoung's mouth while telling him to shut up. And it's when Jaebum's hand is pressing so hard into his waist that there's bound to be faint bruises the next day that Jinyoung finally gets it. He lifts his own hand to card his fingers through Jaebum's hair to bring him closer just so he can kiss endless apologies into Jaebum's mouth.
Jinyoung waits until Jaebum's possessive hold around his waist turns into soft brushes over his hipbone before pulling away slightly to rest his forehead against the other boy's.
"I'm sorry," they both say at the same time.
"I'm going to be a terrible leader, aren't I?" Jaebum sighs.
"Hey," Jinyoung says as he squeezes Jaebum's hands. "You're going to be an amazing leader. We all look up to you so much, especially Jackson. You just need to work on yourself a little, okay? But I'll be with you every step of the way."
Jaebum nods his head. "Okay. I'm really sorry for being such a douche. I know I'm very stubborn and prideful, but just-" he doesn't finish his sentence, instead just kisses Jinyoung again, this time more tender. "Just bear with me, okay?"
"Okay," Jinyoung agrees. He doesn't even have to give it a second thought. "I'm sorry for being so inconsiderate of your feelings. I didn't think you would get so mad at me for hanging out with Jackson so much. But that's because I always thought you knew I was yours."
Jaebum's breath catches in his throat.
"You know that right? I'm yours. Always have been and always will be." Jinyoung's blushing so hard at this point he can't even keep eye contact anymore.
There's a million things Jaebum wants to say in return, like how he's so happy and relieved this whole thing is over or how much he's in love with Jinyoung, but all the words are jumbled in his mind so he just does what he does best when he's with Jinyoung. He leans down and kisses Jinyoung until the younger boy is incoherent.
"Mine, mine, mine," are the only words Jaebum manages to whisper before his lips curve up to reveal the most stunning smile. And this time, it's Jinyoung who's left breathless because he thinks there's really no better view in this world than Jaebum's blinding smile.
"Yours," Jinyoung nods, eyes bright, earnest and full of promises of forever. "So quit getting jealous for no reason, you idiot," he chides before placing one last kiss on the corner of Jaebum's mouth before darting out towards the kitchen. "Catch me if you can!"
And Jaebum thinks he'll catch Jinyoung right now, tomorrow, in this lifetime and the next lifetime too. Because Jinyoung's his and he was Jinyoung's. Always and forever.
The company tells them two weeks later that there's been a change of plans and they'll be debuting a project duo first before the new boy group comes out. Jaebum's mind goes blank when he hears PD-nim tell them that only him and Jinyoung will be debuting for now.
"Jaebum! Can you believe this?" Jinyoung cries excitedly when they're left alone in one of the conference rooms.
Before Jaebum can even reply, Jinyoung has already swept him up in a hug, lips hot against his own.
"You were right," Jinyoung smiles. "We really are debuting together. And you were there with me every step of the way just like you had promised. I love you, Jaebum. I love you so much."
The way Jinyoung rambles on so happily suddenly reminds Jaebum of the way Jinyoung had reacted when they first won the audition almost four years ago. Jaebum smiles genuinely in return and kisses Jinyoung back firmly.
"Im Jaebum and Park Jinyoung, right?" Jaebum says when he pulls away. "We were meant for greatness."
"Im Jaebum and Park Jinyoung," Jinyoung echoes in return. "Meant for greatness."
Pairing: Jaebum/Jinyoung (mentions of Jinyoung/Jackson)
Rating: R
Summary: Jaebum doesn't know when he started loving Jinyoung more than what was necessary.
A/N: This fic is literally 8 months overdue, but it's written for the amazing gotchick :)
how did this sound get so amped up
They meet on a humid summer day at JYP's 5th Open Audition. It's only twenty minutes before his scheduled audition time when Jaebum flies into the waiting room, bowing to the staff in a silent apology for being late. He was told to arrive at least an hour before his scheduled time, but Jaebum was never someone who followed rules well. The staff sighs as she hands him a clipboard and he drops into one of the many vacant chairs to begin filling out his paper work. There's only three other auditionees sitting there, but Jaebum's not surprised. He had received the last time slot of the day.
"They're also running late," one guy tells him curtly after giving him a once over before putting his earphones back in. The only girl sitting there doesn't even spare him a glance, eyes glued to her phone as she hums her audition song repeatedly under her breath.
Jaebum takes in his surroundings, from the huge glass panel doors to the lone plant in the corner, thinking maybe this is where he'll call home some day before his eyes finally settle on the final person in the room sitting diagonally from him on the edge of the seat. The boy looks around his age, black hair matted just above his eyes. He has a fast rhythm going with the way he's tapping his feet against the floor and his pen against the clipboard and it wouldn't be a half bad beat any other day, but today, Jaebum wasn't in the mood to deal with any unnecessary distractions.
A few minutes pass and the stranger still seems completely oblivious to the fact Jaebum's staring at him as he switches his foot tapping for leg shaking instead while playing with his fingers.
"What is your name?" Jaebum finally asks as a last resort in order to stop the boy from fidgeting so much because it was driving him absolutely crazy and making him more nervous than he needed to be.
"Huh? Oh, it's Park Jinyoung," the other boy mutters quietly while glancing up shyly.
"Park Jinyoung?" Jaebum replies with an amused look on his face. "Seriously?"
"Yeah, don't ask," Jinyoung grumbles again as he returns his focus back to his hands shaking in his lap. His cheeks are colored a rosy pink by now.
"Well, nice to meet you, Park Jinyoung," Jaebum emphasizes the name with a mischievous tone in his voice. "My name's Jaebum. Im Jaebum." He sits back and crosses his arm, waiting for the other boy's reaction.
Jinyoung looks up and raises an eyebrow before breaking into laughter. "You're kidding."
"Maybe I am, but got you to laugh, didn't I?"
Jinyoung blushes another shade darker. "Is that really your name though?"
"Swear to god," Jaebum grins back.
"Huh," Jinyoung clicks his tongue. "It's nice to meet you too."
"I think we're going to do just fine," Jaebum says with confidence, tilting his head towards the audition room door. The mischievous glint in his eyes never leaves. "And I think we're going to be great friends."
Jaebum's right. They both kill the first round of auditions. Jinyoung goes in first and leaves the judges in awe with his rich vocals. He smiles at Jaebum as he leaves the room and mouths thank you, hwaiting at the other boy. Jaebum runs a hand through his hair before entering, only to have it get completely messed up again as he stuns the judges with his breakdancing.
Second round of auditions happen two weeks later. Jinyoung's still a nervous wreck this time around as he glances around the waiting room, eyes on the lookout for a familiar face. But, Jaebum never shows and Jinyoung prays in his heart that the other boy is just auditioning during another time slot. He wanted so badly for Jaebum to have passed.
They meet again at the end of the month during the final round of auditions. Jaebum feels Jinyoung's nervous energy before he even sees him as he breezes into the waiting room.
"You didn't think you could get rid of me that easily, did you?" Jaebum smirks as he makes his way towards Jinyoung. The other auditionees look at Jaebum with slight annoyance on their faces, clearly intimidated by his confidence, but not Jinyoung. His face lights up into the most radiant eye smile as he scoots over on the plastic bench to make room for the other boy.
Jinyoung goes in first again this time, No. 24 printed on a flimsy piece of paper taped onto the front of his shirt. He sings Lee Seunggi's You're My Woman, but it's not the face of the pretty long haired girl who sits in front of him during Algebra he thought he would see as he belts out the final note. Jaebum follows after with No. 25 on his shirt and this time, he doesn't breakdance, doesn't even do any choreography at all. Instead, he sings Rain's I Do, voice smooth and sultry as he stares the judges right in their eyes, silently daring them to pass up on a star like himself.
They're brought into one of JYP's real training rooms a day later to practice for their final round of auditions. They're told to pick a group amongst themselves for the performance and naturally, Jinyoung gravitates towards Jaebum, asking him through bashful lashes if he wants to be in a group together. Jaebum doesn't think he's ever replied yes to something so fast in his life.
The day is filled with awkward frustration and loud beats of music as they discover just how different their dancing styles are from their reflections in the mirror. But that doesn't stop them from dancing so hard until eventually, Jaebum's sharp and clean moves perfected from years of breakdancing melts with Jinyoung's natural smooth and fluid movements.
The next day, when the dark stage gets lit up by spotlights on the both of them dancing their hearts out and they hear deafening screams from the audience is when they realize just how perfect they complement one another and how unstoppable they're going to be.
Jaebum and Jinyoung both tie for first place, something that has never happened in JYP history. A camera's shoved up to their faces along with a bouquet of flowers and a trophy as soon as they make their way downstairs to the lobby. Jinyoung takes the mic first, still high from the adrenaline of winning and rambles off his feelings in one quick breath. Jaebum listens carefully from the side, memorizing the way Jinyoung's voice dips and rises with his satoori accent. Jinyoung passes him the mic when he's done and looks at him hesitantly. And that's when Jaebum realizes that they don't really know each other and here they were being interviewed together as if they were a duo.
When Jinyoung pulls Jaebum into a tight celebratory hug before they part their ways that night, Jaebum thinks maybe, just maybe, they could be something great together.
A month later, they begin their official trainee life at JYP. They're thrust into existing practice groups with senior trainees due to their effortless talents, but it's not all smooth sailing as the older boys try to give them a hard time for intruding the ranks. Jaebum never bats an eye when this happens, just tugs on Jinyoung's hand lightly to find them a spot in the last row during dance practice.
Jinyoung doesn't mind that he constantly hears not so subtle whispers of Jinyoung-oh he's the one who's always with Jaebum or the guy that's always in Jaebum's shadows because he likes watching Jaebum shine like the brightest star in the universe.
They were best friends, Jaebum and Jinyoung, that's how it's always been, even from day one.
The other trainees give them uneasy glances, thinking there must be an unspoken rivalry between the two. Jaebum's years of breakdancing gives him an early edge in the area, but Jinyoung never falls too far behind, his natural born ability to dance starting to erupt from his veins. Jinyoung starts off as the vocalist, but then Jaebum picks up the mic and the company's left to wonder just who should be the lead vocal in their new upcoming boy group.
It's easy to fall into Jaebum's routine. He's stubborn, hot tempered and really difficult to deal with sometimes, but Jinyoung quickly learns all the other little things that makes Jaebum so contagious to be around. Jaebum is all sharp and harsh lines, resorts to punches instead of words, an enigma caught up in the night, but Jinyoung finds himself falling deeper into the darkness, desperately wanting to be the only person who can unwrap the mystery that's Im Jaebum.
Jinyoung doesn't tell Jaebum that he often sees his face when he closes his eyes at night while drifting off to sleep. Jaebum, with his dangerous smile and fiery touch.
Sometimes, Jinyoung's self doubt gets the best of him. And during times like these, he turns extra clingy with Jaebum because Jinyoung needs reassurance in the form of words and touches.
"Do you think we'll make it?" Jinyoung asks him one night when they're lying on the hard concrete on the company's rooftop.
"Of course," Jaebum replies a little bit too quickly for it to sound convincing, but he hates it when Jinyoung gets into one of these moods where his confidence drops super low, it takes hours of convincing to bring it back up. He doesn't want Jinyoung to doubt himself even for a second because he thinks Jinyoung's born for the stage and there's no one he rather see shine more than Jinyoung himself.
"Promise?"
"Promise," Jaebum says as he links his pinky with Jinyoung's. "I'll be there with you every step of the way. Besides, we're Im Jaebum and Park Jinyoung. Even our names say we're meant for greatness."
"Im Jaebum and Park Jinyoung," the other boy repeats quietly under his breath. "I guess we are."
"And don't you forget it."
Jinyoung smiles and shuffles closer to Jaebum.
It's Jaebum who makes the first move by kissing Jinyoung first.
Jaebum kisses like how he lives life, aggressive, messy and passionate as he pins Jinyoung against the kitchen counter and places his lips insistently over the other boy's. Jinyoung gasps at the initial contact of soft lips against his own and pulls away, but he can't escape Jaebum's burning gaze, a silent dare for him to say no. And Jinyoung can't say no, not when he's been fantasizing about this moment for months now, but he doesn't want this to be an impulsive decision Jaebum makes while intoxicated.
"You're drunk," Jinyoung turns his head away. Jaebum is still pressing against him unbearably close and the cold counter digs uncomfortably into his back. They had just returned from celebrating another trainee's birthday and Jaebum had accidentally sneaked more soju shots than intended.
"You think that's why I'm kissing you?" Jaebum replies with a laugh and he doesn't seem to mind that Jinyoung has turned away as he turns his attention to Jinyoung's neck instead, placing feather like kisses against smooth skin.
"Isn't it?" Jinyoung's breath hitches.
"No, stupid."
"Then why are you kissing me?"
"If you shut up, I'll show you why," Jaebum looks at him pointedly.
So Jinyoung stops talking and lets Jaebum answer all his questions in kisses instead of words.
It's because you're my best friend.
Jaebum skillfully works his way into Jinyoung's mouth, tangling their tongues together in a heated dance, licking hot stripes everywhere.
It's because it's always been us against the world.
Jinyoung feels like he's about to collapse as he melts into Jaebum's warmth, but Jaebum just holds him tighter and kisses him harder until Jinyoung is whining, fingers buried in Jaebum's soft hair, responding to every little touch.
It's because I love you.
Their routine is simple. They wake up at the crack of dawn, Jinyoung dragging a grouchy Jaebum out of bed and forcing him into the shower. When Jaebum emerges fifteen minutes later, water still dripping from his hair, somewhat more alert and plops down at the kitchen table, Jinyoung always has a plate of scrambled eggs waiting for him, drenched in the gojujang sauce Jaebum likes so much.
They spend all day at the company practicing and by the time they leave, it's already pitch dark outside. This time it's Jaebum who pulls a bleary eyed Jinyoung down the road back to their dorm.
"Can we get food?" Jinyoung asks hopefully while they wait at a busy intersection.
"Yes," Jaebum nods.
The light turns green and Jaebum tugs on Jinyoung's hand. The cars all come to a stop behind the white line.
Jaebum leads and Jinyoung follows.
Jaebum doesn't know when he started loving Jinyoung more than what was necessary. More than what was needed of him to be considered a good hyung, a good best friend. All he knows is that now he gets way too breathless and his heart starts beating out of control whenever Jinyoung comes into view.
During dance practice, Jaebum watches Jinyoung carefully run through the routine and he can't take his eyes off of the way Jinyoung's lean muscles move underneath his flimsy tank, so effortlessly to the beat of the music. Jinyoung has grown up so quickly, so breathtakingly beautifully. His Jinyoung.
"Hyung, why are you staring?" Jinyoung asks as he plops down next to Jaebum against the mirror.
Jaebum had been so deep into his thoughts he hadn't realized Jinyoung's stopped the music and is now inches away from him. He doesn't say a word, just tackles Jinyoung onto the ground and kisses him so hard, tiny stars explode behind Jinyoung's eyes. Jaebum kisses Jinyoung until the younger boy makes the soft whining noise at the back of his throat that Jaebum's absolutely addicted to hearing. The sound that's reserved for Jaebum's ears only.
"I love you," Jaebum shyly presses each word against Jinyoung's lips before burying his head into the crook of his neck.
Jinyoung smiles Jaebum's favorite kind of smile, the one where his mouth stretches from side to side and his eyes crinkle up to reveal perfect crescents.
"God, I love you too."
It's the middle of summer when a mysterious new trainee enters the practice room, happy and energetic, bouncing up and down on his heels.
"This is Jackson," one of the staff tells the group. "He's from Hong Kong and he doesn't know Korean well yet so please look after him."
The staff leaves and Jackson turns to grin at them with a lopsided smile adorning his face before his eyes settle on Jaebum.
"Hey, you're the b-boy king! Hi!" he waves enthusiastically. "I saw you practice when I came to visit the company a few weeks back."
Jaebum gives him a weird glance and smiles politely, but doesn't say much in return. Jackson pouts at the lack of response and turns his attention to Jinyoung instead.
"What's your name?" he asked in accented Korean.
"Park Jinyoung."
Jackson's eyes widen and he looks so genuinely confused, Jinyoung can't help but burst out laughing. He has always loved pulling the name card on new trainees. Jackson rubs his neck sheepishly and looks to the ground.
"Aww, Jackson-ah, come here!" Jinyoung grins as he slings an arm around the other boy. "I'm just playing with you."
Jackson laughs nervously. "What's your real name then?"
"It really is Park Jinyoung though," he answers in all seriousness. "Just call me Jinyoung."
Jaebum looks on in awe as Jackson's wild high pitched laughter echoes throughout the practice room, clearly feeling much more welcomed that before. He wished he was as friendly as Jinyoung, always wearing a warm smile on his face. Jinyoung has a talent for making people feel at ease, making them feel like he's their home away from home.
Jaebum thinks maybe that's how he ended up making a permanent home in Jinyoung's heart.
Jackson is a whirlwind of positive energy; loud, charismatic and extremely affectionate. He tells dumb jokes that has all the other trainees laughing, especially Jinyoung, who usually cracks up so hard, soft lines surround his eyes.
There's nothing Jaebum likes more than to see Jinyoung laugh this brightly and earnestly and it makes his heart flutter. What he doesn't like is knowing he's now not the only source of Jinyoung's laughter.
Jackson also has no problem dropping a casual arm around someone despite not knowing them for a long period of time. Jaebum stiffens whenever Jackson wraps himself around him like a koala before eventually pushing him away, face heating up in embarrassment and annoyance.
Jinyoung, on the other hand, easily gives into Jackson's platonic skinship and always clings back when he's around. Jinyoung is just as touchy so it's no wonder he's so receptive to Jackson's behavior. Jaebum doesn't like seeing that either. It's petty and immature, but he can't help it.
It's not that Jaebum is cold hearted and doesn't know how to love.
His only problem is that he only knows how to love Jinyoung.
"Am I still your favorite?" Jaebum blurts out loud by accident to Jinyoung one night when they're walking back to the dorm, just the two of them.
"What?" Jinyoung's eyes widen in shock and confusion as he stops dead in his tracks.
"Nevermind," Jaebum panics as he walks ahead to press the button on the stoplight pole so he can cross the street faster.
Jaebum doesn't like feeling insecure and he hates it even more showing it. He doesn't realize how much weight those five simple words carry until it's out in the open.
"Of course you're my favorite," Jinyoung replies, giving Jaebum a weird look.
"Okay, good," Jaebum replies easily.
"Am I still your favorite?" Jinyoung retorts, almost angry and offended that Jaebum would ask him such a thing.
"You'll always be my favorite," Jaebum says and the light turns green.
Jinyoung hooks his arms with Jaebum's and they cross, steps falling into perfect sync.
"That new guy Jackson is really funny," Jinyoung tells Jaebum one night when they're squished onto Jaebum's single mattress, limbs tangled in the most awkward yet comfortable position. They have separate rooms, but Jinyoung doesn't like falling asleep at night by himself.
"Hmm," Jaebum hums in agreement, but doesn't say anything more.
Jinyoung's lazily drawing random patterns onto Jaebum's side with his finger, occasionally switching to hangul characters in between.
"We should hang out with him more," Jinyoung continues. "You're never there when I hang out with him. I think you'll really like him."
Jaebum closes his eyes in pleasure when he feels Jinyoung trace 사랑해요 (saranghaeyo), his skin heating up at each spot Jinyoung touches and there's goosebumps all over his body by the time Jinyoung draws the last line.
"Yeah maybe," Jaebum grumbles as he shifts and presses himself closer to Jinyoung, drinking in the scent of Jinyoung's lingering body wash.
"I think he's lonely since he's from Hong Kong and all-"
"Jinyoung," Jaebum says as he moves his face up and pulls Jinyoung's plump bottom lip in between his teeth. "I don't want to talk about Jackson anymore."
"Okay," Jinyoung gasps in return. He knows Jaebum well enough to know not to push something on him.
Jaebum kisses Jinyoung with so much lust, but rocks into him sweet and slow that night, drawing out the most beautiful sounds from Jinyoung's mouth.
When Jaebum sits down at the kitchen table the next morning and Jinyoung hands him his plate of scrambled eggs, Jaebum pulls Jinyoung down by the back of his neck and lightly kisses over the spot on his neck that's been marked by Jaebum himself the previous night.
Jinyoung has a new mission these days to busy himself with and it's to properly learn English from Jackson.
"He's a native speaker," Jinyoung tells Jaebum when he turns down the other boy's invitation to go get dinner. "I want an authentic person to teach me, not one of the company's teachers who just makes us do worksheets."
"Why don't you ask Mark then," Jaebum says pointedly. "I think he's more native than Jackson if you want to get technical."
Jinyoung shrugs. "I don't know Mark that well yet. Jackson's more talkative. We'll get dinner tomorrow, okay?"
"Okay," Jaebum nods and he watches Jinyoung crawl into the van that brings Jackson and Mark back to the other dorm.
They don't really get to see each other that much anymore, Jinyoung having picked English as his second language to study and Jaebum having picked Japanese. Their language classes are during opposite times, which means their vocal lessons that they usually have together get switched too. The only time they get to see each other is during late night dance practices, but that's not exactly an ideal time to actually hang out. And by the time they go back to their dorm, both are ready to pass out from exhaustion to do anything else.
Jinyoung cancels plans with Jaebum the next day again, explaining quickly about how Jackson had invited him to go watch some new American action movie that's playing in the theater in Hongdae that he's been dying to see.
"You want to come?" Jinyoung asks.
"Nah, I'll go hang out with Hyunwoo-hyung."
"Fine," Jinyoung pouts. "But hey, just don't forget we're going to that guitar place week, okay? You promised you'll help me look at guitars," Jinyoung says as he places a quick kiss on Jaebum's lips before darting out the front entrance. "See you later!"
There's whispers about a new boy group debuting. Jaebum had caught the rumors when he was in the bathroom and he had overheard some other senior trainees in another practice group talk about it anxiously.
"They're discussing members for a new boy group," he tells Jinyoung and the rest of their group when he returns. "They're announcing the lineup beginning of next month or something."
"Shit really," Jinyoung murmurs as he starts fidgeting. "We better kill it at the monthly evaluation then."
"Hyung, I bet you'll definitely make it," Yugyeom tells Jaebum. "You and Jinyoung-hyung."
"We'll see. Let's practice, yeah?"
Later that night, Jinyoung quietly opens Jaebum's door and pads over to his bed.
"Hey, are you awake?" Jinyoung whispers.
Jaebum turns around and he already knows why Jinyoung's here, what Jinyoung's going to ask. Jaebum pulls him down onto the bed with him without a word, circling an arm around Jinyoung's waist.
"What if-" Jinyoung begins.
"Don't," Jaebum interrupts. "I know what you're going to ask. You're going to make the cut and you're going to debut."
"But what if I don't?" Jinyoung lets out a shaky breath. "And you do?"
"It doesn't matter. I'm never going to debut without you anyway," Jaebum replies as if it's the most logical thing in the world.
"That's stupid," Jinyoung sighs. "I'm not going to let you throw away your dream just because I don't make it."
"You're stupid," Jaebum grumbles in return. "It's not my dream unless you're there with me."
Jackson knows exactly what buttons to push to get Jaebum riled up. Jaebum won't say he hates Jackson, that's too strong of a word, just extremely dislike. Jackson's loud and never knows when to shut up and it's not always a bad thing since he lightens the mood for the group most of the time, but there's just occasions where Jaebum wants some silence after a long day of practice just to hear himself think.
Jinyoung collapses against the mirror, breathing heavy after the final choreography run. Jackson makes a beeline for Jinyoung and sprawls out next to him, pillowing his head in Jinyoung's lap. Jinyoung instinctively runs his hand through Jackson's hair over and over gently and it's simple things like these that somehow gets Jaebum annoyed the most. He can't blame Jinyoung though, it's just in the other boy's nature to be caring and he knows Jinyoung doesn't mean anything by it.
"Jackson-ah, get off of me. You're heavy," Jinyoung eventually laughs as he attempts to roll Jackson off.
"But it's comfortable here," Jackson says as he hitches his leg up, propping one up over the other.
"Get off, you fatass," Jinyoung hits him playfully. "I'm really sore from practice and you're not helping."
"Don't want to," Jackson sing-songs as he shifts his position and only buries his head deeper towards Jinyoung's stomach.
"Jackson, get off of him," Jaebum's voice rings out authoritatively in the practice room, his demand bouncing off the mirrors.
"Make me," Jackson huffs as he glances towards Jaebum.
"Jackson, don't make me-"
"It's fine," Jinyoung suddenly cuts in and gives Jaebum an exasperated look. "You don't have to make a big deal out of it."
"Whatever," Jaebum stands up and grabs his water bottle, muttering something about how he's going to get a refill before slamming the practice room door shut.
Jaebum's never liked people touching things that don't belong to them.
When Jaebum finally gets Jinyoung alone that night, he presses Jinyoung deep into the mattress and fucks him until the other boy's voice is hoarse from moaning. He litters kisses along Jinyoung's neck, turning them into bites halfway, leaving countless dark purpling bruises that will sure make Jinyoung flush the next day he looks in the mirror. Jaebum is relentless in the way he teases Jinyoung and only pushes himself in when Jinyoung's clawing at his back, desperately panting for more. It's cruel and twisted, but Jaebum loves having the upper hand, loves turning Jinyoung into a hot thrashing mess, loves reminding Jinyoung who he belongs to.
Jaebum's biggest downfall will always be loving Jinyoung too much.
The tension finally hits a breaking point one day at practice. It's almost two in the morning, the automatic lights in the practice room about to switch off at any minute now when Jackson trips over his own foot during the middle of a routine and messes up the formation.
"Jackson," Jaebum snaps with an irritated tone. "We've gone through this routine a million times already. Stop making mistakes that shouldn't be happening." Jaebum knows how blunt he is with his words, but he just doesn't know how to polish them like Jinyoung does before he opens his mouth.
"It was an accident," Jackson fires back as he mops his sweaty bangs out of his eyes.
"Well there won't be room for accidents when we debut so I suggest you get your shit together." Jaebum doesn't realize how harsh his words are until he sees Jinyoung looking at him with disappointment in his eyes, but it's too late. It's already been said.
"Just because you started training before me doesn't mean you're better than me," Jackson spits out so smoothly, there's barely a trace of an accent, as if he's been practicing that line for weeks, just waiting for a chance to say it.
The room stills, everyone's sneakers squeaking to a halt against the wooden floor as they all turn to look at Jackson and Jaebum, bracing themselves for the worst. Yugyeom shuffles closer to Kunpimook but they don't do anything because they know it's not their place to intervene.
"What did you say to me?" Jaebum scowls as he walks towards Jackson.
"You heard me, leader," Jackson taunts back. "Just because you won some audition with Jinyoung and PD-nim treats you like his little golden child doesn't mean you know everything so stop acting like it. If you were so good, you would have debuted already. You wouldn't be here like the rest of us-"
Jaebum lands his fist in Jackson's jaw and the younger boy doubles over in pain.
Mark takes this as cue to step in as he throws himself in front of Jaebum and calmly pushes him away before he can take another swing at Jackson. Jinyoung runs to Jackson who's holding his face in his hand, muttering a string of curses in both Cantonese and English.
"Are you okay?" Jinyoung immediately asks as he pushes Jackson's hands out of the way to examine his face. There's no sign of blood anywhere and Jinyoung breathes a sigh of relief.
Jaebum's blood is positively boiling at this point as he watches Jinyoung fuss over Jackson without even bothering to spare him a glance. So this is what it has come to. Two years of friendship and the lingering promise of something more all taken over by a boy with an infectious laugh and carefree personality.
But then Jinyoung speaks up again and his voice is so cold, Jaebum almost flinches and Jackson recoils even more instead of lunging back at Jaebum.
"Don't you talk about Jaebum-hyung like that ever again."
Jinyoung spins on his heels without another word and grabs Jaebum's hand, pulling him out of the practice room and down the hall, pushing him into the nearest bathroom. He wets a few paper towels under the tap and wraps them around Jaebum's knuckles.
"You're so stupid," he begins. "Why do you always have to get into fights? Why do you always have to let your pride get the best of you? He's going to be one of our members, can't you learn to put your differences aside? You can't act like this when we debut. Jesus christ, Jaebum."
Jinyoung stops his rant when he looks at Jaebum and the older boy isn't saying a word like how he usually does after a fight, trying to protest and justify his actions.
"I'm sorry," is all Jaebum says before leaning against the tiled walls. "I'm so sorry."
Jinyoung's expression softens. "It's okay," he mutters as he plays with Jaebum's sleeves. "Just stop being an idiot okay? You worry me sick," Jinyoung's last comment comes out so quiet, Jaebum barely catches it.
"You were worried about me?" Jaebum cocks an eyebrow. "Didn't seem like it with the way you ran to Jackson so quick."
And Jaebum hates himself for always being too blunt and putting his foot in his mouth. The second those words leave his mouth, he sees the flash of anger back in Jinyoung's eyes.
"Im Jaebum, you're so fucking stupid. I seriously can't stand you sometimes. Of course I worry about you! Why do you think I'm in this stupid bathroom right now with you? I always worry about you the most!" Jinyoung screams half heartedly before he throws Jaebum's hand down and makes his way towards the door.
Jaebum catches Jinyoung's wrist in a panic and pulls the younger boy back into a bone crushing hug with no courage to ever let go.
And that's when Jaebum realizes it's never been Jinyoung who needed self assurance the most. It was always him hanging onto Jinyoung by barely a thread, desperately in love with him. Jinyoung with his soft eyes and gentle voice.
Jinyoung gets it though. He knows what Jaebum really means even if the other boy doesn't say it as he leans up to kiss all of Jaebum's insecurities away.
"I always worry about you the most," he repeats softly against Jaebum's lips.
Jaebum barely talks to Jackson after the incident. He acknowledges Jackson curtly with a nod when they see each other at practice, but doesn't say more than what he has to. Jinyoung's caught in the middle, but he's not the type of person to cut ties with anyone for no good reason so he tries his best to divide his time between Jaebum and Jackson.
"Can't you just talk to Jackson about it?" Jinyoung asks Jaebum one night when they're getting ready to sleep. "He's convinced that you hate him."
"Well, he wouldn't be wrong."
"Come on, Jaebum, Jackson's not even that bad. He's funny! Why can't you just talk to him?" Jinyoung urges.
"Because I don't fucking want to," Jaebum snaps. The end of the month evaluation is nearing and he's stressed to no end since he still haven't decided on a song to sing or gotten his dance routine down. The last thing he wanted to discuss while lying in Jinyoung's bed is Jackson.
Jaebum pulls the blanket off of him and slides out of Jinyoung's bed, crossing over to the door in big strides.
"What are you doing?" Jinyoung asks quizzically.
"Sleeping in my own bed," Jaebum replies and shuts the door on his way out.
Jaebum never shows up to the guitar store where he's supposed to meet Jinyoung.
hey where are you?
are you still coming? did your vocal lesson run late?
jaebum seriously...reply to me...are you coming or not?
ugh did you really forget???
Jinyoung's string of text messages go unanswered and after about half an hour, he knows that Jaebum's not coming. By the time Jinyoung comes home with a brand new guitar in his hands, Jaebum's already asleep.
"Sorry about yesterday," Jaebum says awkwardly at breakfast the next morning. "Something came up."
Jinyoung doesn't ask what could have possibly came up, just clears Jaebum's plate and drops it in the sink.
"I see you bought one though. Did you pick it out yourself?"
Jinyoung shrugs as he makes his way towards the bathroom to get ready. "A friend helped me."
If Jaebum knows that Jackson was the one who ended up going to help Jinyoung pick out a guitar, he doesn't say anything.
It's the day before Jinyoung's birthday. Every year, the day before Jinyoung's birthday, they go to Gangnam to this tiny music store nestled at the end of the main street. It sticks out like a sore thumb next to all the glamorous designer stores, but it's Jinyoung's favorite place.
Jaebum had brought him here back when they first became trainees, revealing to Jinyoung that he loves coming here whenever he's in a bad mood. Jaebum had also told him he'll buy Jinyoung whatever album he wants on his birthday. Jinyoung had kept the promise in the back of his mind, but didn't actually expect Jaebum to go through with it, not until his birthday had actually rolled around and he walked out of the shop with a copy of Michael Buble's Crazy Love in his hand, paid for by Jaebum's pocket money.
His next birthday, Jaebum buys him Anberlin's Dark Is the Way, Light Is a Place and the following birthday, Red Hot Chili Peppers' I'm With You.
Jaebum already knows this year, Jinyoung will probably want to get Frank Ocean's new album, despite having downloaded the digital version already. He's been talking nonstop about all the songs, even showing Jaebum a cover he's been working on
He's lying on the couch casually flipping through the TV channels when Jinyoung bounds down the hall.
"Jinyoung-ah," Jaebum sits up when he sees the other boy make his way towards their shoe rack. "Where are you going?"
"Jackson's at the company doing some extra vocal lessons. I'm meeting him there and then we're going to get lunch."
"But your birthday's tomorrow."
"Yeah, so?" Jinyoung replies in confusion.
Jaebum can't even control the flash of hurt in his eyes as he stands up.
"But we always go to Gangnam the day before your birthday," Jaebum's voice comes out louder than intended, more like an order rather than a suggestion.
Jinyoung's eyes widen in guilt.
"Oh hyung, I'm so sorry. I totally forgot."
And that only makes Jaebum more angry because not only did Jinyoung forget their tradition in the first place, he had forgotten an event where Jaebum does something special just for him.
"Unbelievable," Jaebum shakes his head as he pushes past Jinyoung to walk towards his room.
"Can Jackson come? We can still go," Jinyoung offers with a sigh as he spins on his heel and follows Jaebum down the hall.
"Oh please, don't act like you're doing me a favor by going. Forget it. Go hang out with whoever the fuck you want," Jaebum hisses as he reaches for the doorknob, but Jinyoung's a step ahead of him as he slaps his hand across the door frame, blocking Jaebum from entering.
"Yah," Jinyoung says and Jaebum catches the slight satoori accent that's laced with the single syllable. He knows Jinyoung's accent only comes out when he's pissed.
"What the hell is wrong with you these days?" Jinyoung asks and he stares Jaebum right in the eye. Jaebum's taller, but even the extra inch of height isn't helping him from feeling so much more inferior. Jinyoung might be kind eyes and soft smiles, but when pushed to his limits, Jinyoung does in fact have quite a temper.
"Watch. Your. Tone." Jaebum spits back equally as fierce, punctuating each word as he slams Jinyoung's arm down so he can reach for the doorknob. "I'm still your hyung."
Jinyoung scoffs and his hand reaches for Jaebum's wrist this time, tightening his fingers around heated skin.
"Drop the act, Im Jaebum," Jinyoung says and the older boy flinches at the sound of his own name. He knows this is the last straw. Jinyoung only ever drops the honorifics when he's seriously about to blow up. The satoori is just a warning.
"You've been a complete asshole these days. To me, to Jackson. I've had enough of your moodiness. Just tell me what's going on." Jinyoung's grip on Jaebum's wrist is relentless.
One heartbeat. Two heartbeats. Three heartbeats. Four heartbeats. Five heartbeats.
Jaebum still doesn't say a word. He's too prideful for that. And besides, he wanted Jinyoung to figure it out for himself what was wrong. He wanted Jinyoung to feel the same frustration that's been eating him up alive.
One more heartbeat and Jinyoung loses it. He tugs Jaebum forward from the awkward position they're standing in along the bedroom entrance and slams Jaebum's back against the door.
"Back off, Jinyoung," Jaebum says wearily as the pool of fire burns in his stomach. "Don't start with me."
"Or what?" Jinyoung challenges.
"Get the fuck off of me, Park Jinyoung," Jaebum growls as he shoves Jinyoung against the opposite wall of the hallway. If Jinyoung wanted to get physical, Jaebum wasn't going to back down. This was a fight Jinyoung didn't want to start.
"Don't mention Jackson's name in front of me," he jabs a finger into Jinyoung's chest and turns to go into the room.
But Jinyoung's equally stubborn when he wants to be. "Just tell me what the hell you're talking about!" he cries in frustration as he grabs Jaebum's wrist once again.
Jaebum turns around so fast that Jinyoung's fully expecting a fist to land in his face, but instead, hungry lips claim his own. Jaebum kisses Jinyoung with so much force, the younger automatically staggers against the wall from the momentum.
"Jaebum-" he gasps and the older boy takes this opportunity to slip his tongue into Jinyoung's mouth while telling him to shut up. And it's when Jaebum's hand is pressing so hard into his waist that there's bound to be faint bruises the next day that Jinyoung finally gets it. He lifts his own hand to card his fingers through Jaebum's hair to bring him closer just so he can kiss endless apologies into Jaebum's mouth.
Jinyoung waits until Jaebum's possessive hold around his waist turns into soft brushes over his hipbone before pulling away slightly to rest his forehead against the other boy's.
"I'm sorry," they both say at the same time.
"I'm going to be a terrible leader, aren't I?" Jaebum sighs.
"Hey," Jinyoung says as he squeezes Jaebum's hands. "You're going to be an amazing leader. We all look up to you so much, especially Jackson. You just need to work on yourself a little, okay? But I'll be with you every step of the way."
Jaebum nods his head. "Okay. I'm really sorry for being such a douche. I know I'm very stubborn and prideful, but just-" he doesn't finish his sentence, instead just kisses Jinyoung again, this time more tender. "Just bear with me, okay?"
"Okay," Jinyoung agrees. He doesn't even have to give it a second thought. "I'm sorry for being so inconsiderate of your feelings. I didn't think you would get so mad at me for hanging out with Jackson so much. But that's because I always thought you knew I was yours."
Jaebum's breath catches in his throat.
"You know that right? I'm yours. Always have been and always will be." Jinyoung's blushing so hard at this point he can't even keep eye contact anymore.
There's a million things Jaebum wants to say in return, like how he's so happy and relieved this whole thing is over or how much he's in love with Jinyoung, but all the words are jumbled in his mind so he just does what he does best when he's with Jinyoung. He leans down and kisses Jinyoung until the younger boy is incoherent.
"Mine, mine, mine," are the only words Jaebum manages to whisper before his lips curve up to reveal the most stunning smile. And this time, it's Jinyoung who's left breathless because he thinks there's really no better view in this world than Jaebum's blinding smile.
"Yours," Jinyoung nods, eyes bright, earnest and full of promises of forever. "So quit getting jealous for no reason, you idiot," he chides before placing one last kiss on the corner of Jaebum's mouth before darting out towards the kitchen. "Catch me if you can!"
And Jaebum thinks he'll catch Jinyoung right now, tomorrow, in this lifetime and the next lifetime too. Because Jinyoung's his and he was Jinyoung's. Always and forever.
The company tells them two weeks later that there's been a change of plans and they'll be debuting a project duo first before the new boy group comes out. Jaebum's mind goes blank when he hears PD-nim tell them that only him and Jinyoung will be debuting for now.
"Jaebum! Can you believe this?" Jinyoung cries excitedly when they're left alone in one of the conference rooms.
Before Jaebum can even reply, Jinyoung has already swept him up in a hug, lips hot against his own.
"You were right," Jinyoung smiles. "We really are debuting together. And you were there with me every step of the way just like you had promised. I love you, Jaebum. I love you so much."
The way Jinyoung rambles on so happily suddenly reminds Jaebum of the way Jinyoung had reacted when they first won the audition almost four years ago. Jaebum smiles genuinely in return and kisses Jinyoung back firmly.
"Im Jaebum and Park Jinyoung, right?" Jaebum says when he pulls away. "We were meant for greatness."
"Im Jaebum and Park Jinyoung," Jinyoung echoes in return. "Meant for greatness."