I think "ah-aaah" and "manhood" just mean their occurrence in the fic. I'm less annoyed by "ah-aaah" than I am by "hnggrhhh" or whatever, but I don't think phonetic dialogue ever works really well in sex scenes. I'm cool with "he moaned" instead.
I don't know what French means. But 500,000 words and they still haven't kissed sounds AWESOME. I've read a few 100,000 words and they still haven't kissed...
I don't know what French means. But 500,000 words and they still haven't kissed sounds AWESOME. I've read a few 100,000 words and they still haven't kissed...
Ha ha! I thought the same thing when I saw that square! I haven't read a story in XF that's half million words long, let alone one without a kiss. I think the longest story I've read is "Arizona Highways," which clocks in at around 350,000 words if the KB to Word conversion thingie is to be believed.
I just put my .mobi copy of Arizona Highways back into Open Office Word and got ~120,000 words but that can't always be entirely trusted either. I get slightly different wordcounts if I put fic in notepad or Word (HOW??).
According to google the longest fanfiction ever is a Super Smash Bros. story and it's over 3.5 million words (!!). I was hoping to find "longest X-Files fanfiction" but I guess our fandom historians haven't covered that. Arizona Highways would have to be one of the longest I've read, I think. The entire Iolokus is pretty long as well.
I don't know how kilobytes translate to word count (or even if you can really make a consistent comparison this way), but Arizona Highways is a little over 700k (per gossamer). I remember Iolukus as being longer; it adds up to around 1400k. I can think of two others I have read that are also very long, each around 1500k: prufrock's love's A Moment in the Sun (ie, the baseball one referred to downthread) and aka Jake's Mastodon Diaries. Love both of those. I don't think we're close to 3.5 million words, though!
I'm pretty sure some of these straight up don't exist in the XF fandom (e.g. The coffee shop AU, the teacher/student AU, the chem lab partners AU) And yeah, "French," WTF? There's a pretty epic Sherlock fic in which Sherlock is a French tennis player, but in the XF fandom? Hmm, let's go with La Belle Dame Sans Merci by MustangSally, because it has a french title, and it was the only french fic title I could think of. (I haven't read the fic though.)
The One Fic that's So Sad Even the Title Makes You Cry: For me, it's I'm Damaged as I'm Sure You Know by crookedhalt, though For The Weary by threeguesses has also been known to bring the waterworks. But the fic that takes the top spot is definitely a Sherlock fic, Make Whole What Has Been Smashed by Charlie J.
Which fic is it for you?
Convenient Mistletoe: Woot! Mistletoe Madness by Syntax6. Is that the one you were thinking of? (I bet it was.)
500,000 Words and They Still Haven't Kissed: The closest I can think of (unless we count gen fic) is Universal Invariants, which took
( ... )
I haven't read the sad ones you mentioned, so they are added to my list for when I would like to cry. ha. Mine is 7 Days in May. I feel like I should re-read it, but I haven't been able to make myself do it. It made me sad for weeks the first time I read it. Maybe at this point, I have built it up more in my head than is merited, though. Paracelsus definitely made me cry the first time through, as did Water's Edge, but I have re-read them without any tissues.
Dramatic Car Accident Scene: Didn't Bonetree do a fic like this? ...Goshen?
Yes, Goshen, which was then followed by several long stories in a "secret world" universe (I think that's what it was called). Pretty good. (Also long.)
I agree, the AU categorization covers a wide range of "alternative-ness" but I guess for bingo purposes that is a good thing - more to choose from.
Do you know why "7 Days in May" is such a sad story for you, I'm just curious? These things are very personal so you don't have to say, of course.
Mulder and Scully end up together, they still have William, they get a vaccine for the alien virus, nobody dies, and the world doesn't end. As prufrock's love stories go, it's a walk in the park.
Well, when you put it that way, it doesn't sound so bad :) I can try to explain but I think it might not make sense. (And if I got over myself and re-read the darn story, then it might make the whole thing moot anyway
( ... )
High School AU: ok, these are not exact fits (and I'm not necessarily recommending them), but there is a historical au (set in 1812) where they are not in school but are the right age at any rate (You and Me by lolabeegood) and there is a pre-xf fic where I think they are high school age but it's summer (15 Years by Laura Sprys). Also, isn't part of Kel and Trelawney's Seminal Events set in Mulder's high school days (but no Scully, so minus half a bingo square, but plus a gold star because it's Kel and it's funny)? Oh, I almost forgot David S's I'm Rubber, You're Glue can probably be jammed into this category, and I admit, I like it.
Plotless Smut: Too much to pick from. Sense Memory by Tesla
The Coffeeshop AU: again, kind of fitting square pegs into a round hole, here, but Physics 101 by Lysandra has a fairly significant coffeeshop scene. Also, at the other end of the emotional spectrum, Kipler's narrator in Strangers and the Strange Dead works in a coffeeshop.
Me, too. Of course, I've never met a fanfic discussion I didn't love, even if I completely disagree with the OP. I love to argue, too.
High School AU: ok, these are not exact fits (and I'm not necessarily recommending them), but there is a historical au (set in 1812) where they are not in school but are the right age at any rate (You and Me by lolabeegood) and there is a pre-xf fic where I think they are high school age but it's summer (15 Years by Laura Sprys). Also, isn't part of Kel and Trelawney's Seminal Events set in Mulder's high school days (but no Scully, so minus half a bingo square, but plus a gold star because it's Kel and it's funny)? Oh, I almost forgot David S's I'm Rubber, You're Glue can probably be jammed into this category, and I admit, I like it."Seminal Events" might be the only Kel fic I'm not crazy about. It hits my character humiliation squick hard. I'm pretty sure I haven't read the others
( ... )
I thought it was pretty funny, too. Blockbuster Videos. Videos, period. VCRs omigod. But they'll have to pry my dvds out of my cold dead hands. My books too.
A Question. What is "Dead Parents" about, exactly? Is that a story where the characters are orphaned and living on their own, like a The X-Files/Boxcar Children fusion or something?
Alternate choice, not discussed here. For "Manhood": Okay, ran into this at Musea's old recs page: The Cause of the Effect by Lara Means. It's not a bad first time story actually, if a little overwrought for my taste. This is the passage in question:
You want this to be good for her. Not just some desperate act of lust or need, but *good*. From the way she's moaning and whispering your name, she's enjoying it, but you want her to *really* enjoy it. Your manhood is at stake here.
MANHOOD. See. He said it.
I must continue the search for French, a lube story that isn't mine, a story with author's notes in the goddamned middle.
A Question. What is "Dead Parents" about, exactly? Is that a story where the characters are orphaned and living on their own, like a The X-Files/Boxcar Children fusion or something?
I don't know what the bingo people mean by "dead parents," but would Life During Wartime technically fit? If there is a pre-xf kid-dana and kid-fox solving mysteries from a box car, I would definitely read that.
I was in the middle of editing the comment when you replied to it!
I found Dead Parents at TV tropes. Basically, it means "Conveniently An Orphan" or the "The Best Parents to Have Are Always Dead Parents."
Maybe LDW would fit? Maggie Scully's plague death is definitely a plot device, and we know that the CSM kills Teena Mulder even before the plagues begin.
I also added this:
Accidentally Falling into Compromising Positions: Hide and Seek by SpearmntXP.
Scully barreled into Mulder like an offensive tackle, shoulder-blocking him into the door. Which opened--inward. Both of them landed in a heap on the hard wooden floor, Scully sprawled across him.
There was also some Platonically Sleeping in the Same Bed in the previous chapter. A Two-fer!
I am still looking for Dueling Tongues, Aaah- ahhhh! and Straight People Do Not Exist in This AU.
I love Hide and Seek, but I forgot about both of those scenes. Nice.
There are two instances of platonic-bed sharing in Khyber's Reach, first before they get called to the emergency situation by the military: He lay on his back, an equilibrium of distance between them which raised questions of neither intimacy nor avoidance. A half-extended forearm, a short span, if either chose to reach. and one after the shooting incident: They slept together again, in a way for the last time, clothes maintaining bodies' modesty that souls have abandoned, and were close and silent.
I thought for sure that there would be dueling tongues in Skin, but the closest things my ctrl-f "tongue" came up with were: His tongue collided with hers and so that her mouth could meet his and tangle her tongue with his among many many other tongue references.
However, from Backtracking by Kel and Scetti: Mulder's lips rested firm and still against hers, and Scully realized that this was the same way he had begun his massage, leaving his hands motionless on her
( ... )
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I don't know what French means. But 500,000 words and they still haven't kissed sounds AWESOME. I've read a few 100,000 words and they still haven't kissed...
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Ha ha! I thought the same thing when I saw that square! I haven't read a story in XF that's half million words long, let alone one without a kiss. I think the longest story I've read is "Arizona Highways," which clocks in at around 350,000 words if the KB to Word conversion thingie is to be believed.
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According to google the longest fanfiction ever is a Super Smash Bros. story and it's over 3.5 million words (!!). I was hoping to find "longest X-Files fanfiction" but I guess our fandom historians haven't covered that. Arizona Highways would have to be one of the longest I've read, I think. The entire Iolokus is pretty long as well.
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The One Fic that's So Sad Even the Title Makes You Cry: For me, it's I'm Damaged as I'm Sure You Know by crookedhalt, though For The Weary by threeguesses has also been known to bring the waterworks. But the fic that takes the top spot is definitely a Sherlock fic, Make Whole What Has Been Smashed by Charlie J.
Which fic is it for you?
Convenient Mistletoe: Woot! Mistletoe Madness by Syntax6. Is that the one you were thinking of? (I bet it was.)
500,000 Words and They Still Haven't Kissed: The closest I can think of (unless we count gen fic) is Universal Invariants, which took ( ... )
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I haven't read the sad ones you mentioned, so they are added to my list for when I would like to cry. ha. Mine is 7 Days in May. I feel like I should re-read it, but I haven't been able to make myself do it. It made me sad for weeks the first time I read it. Maybe at this point, I have built it up more in my head than is merited, though. Paracelsus definitely made me cry the first time through, as did Water's Edge, but I have re-read them without any tissues.
Dramatic Car Accident Scene: Didn't Bonetree do a fic like this? ...Goshen?
Yes, Goshen, which was then followed by several long stories in a "secret world" universe (I think that's what it was called). Pretty good. (Also long.)
I agree, the AU categorization covers a wide range of "alternative-ness" but I guess for bingo purposes that is a good thing - more to choose from.
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Mulder and Scully end up together, they still have William, they get a vaccine for the alien virus, nobody dies, and the world doesn't end. As prufrock's love stories go, it's a walk in the park.
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High School AU: ok, these are not exact fits (and I'm not necessarily recommending them), but there is a historical au (set in 1812) where they are not in school but are the right age at any rate (You and Me by lolabeegood) and there is a pre-xf fic where I think they are high school age but it's summer (15 Years by Laura Sprys). Also, isn't part of Kel and Trelawney's Seminal Events set in Mulder's high school days (but no Scully, so minus half a bingo square, but plus a gold star because it's Kel and it's funny)? Oh, I almost forgot David S's I'm Rubber, You're Glue can probably be jammed into this category, and I admit, I like it.
Plotless Smut: Too much to pick from. Sense Memory by Tesla
The Coffeeshop AU: again, kind of fitting square pegs into a round hole, here, but Physics 101 by Lysandra has a fairly significant coffeeshop scene. Also, at the other end of the emotional spectrum, Kipler's narrator in Strangers and the Strange Dead works in a coffeeshop.
WIP (ignoring the specifics ( ... )
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Me, too. Of course, I've never met a fanfic discussion I didn't love, even if I completely disagree with the OP. I love to argue, too.
High School AU: ok, these are not exact fits (and I'm not necessarily recommending them), but there is a historical au (set in 1812) where they are not in school but are the right age at any rate (You and Me by lolabeegood) and there is a pre-xf fic where I think they are high school age but it's summer (15 Years by Laura Sprys). Also, isn't part of Kel and Trelawney's Seminal Events set in Mulder's high school days (but no Scully, so minus half a bingo square, but plus a gold star because it's Kel and it's funny)? Oh, I almost forgot David S's I'm Rubber, You're Glue can probably be jammed into this category, and I admit, I like it."Seminal Events" might be the only Kel fic I'm not crazy about. It hits my character humiliation squick hard. I'm pretty sure I haven't read the others ( ... )
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Alternate choice, not discussed here. For "Manhood": Okay, ran into this at Musea's old recs page: The Cause of the Effect by Lara Means. It's not a bad first time story actually, if a little overwrought for my taste. This is the passage in question:
You want this to be good for her. Not just some desperate act of lust or need, but *good*. From the way she's moaning and whispering your name, she's enjoying it, but you want her to *really* enjoy it. Your manhood is at stake here.
MANHOOD. See. He said it.
I must continue the search for French, a lube story that isn't mine, a story with author's notes in the goddamned middle.
And a generic canon!verse fic that isn't mine.
Reply
I don't know what the bingo people mean by "dead parents," but would Life During Wartime technically fit? If there is a pre-xf kid-dana and kid-fox solving mysteries from a box car, I would definitely read that.
Reply
I found Dead Parents at TV tropes. Basically, it means "Conveniently An Orphan" or the "The Best Parents to Have Are Always Dead Parents."
Maybe LDW would fit? Maggie Scully's plague death is definitely a plot device, and we know that the CSM kills Teena Mulder even before the plagues begin.
I also added this:
Accidentally Falling into Compromising Positions: Hide and Seek by SpearmntXP.
Scully barreled into Mulder like an offensive tackle, shoulder-blocking him into the door. Which opened--inward. Both of them landed in a heap on the hard wooden floor, Scully sprawled across him.
There was also some Platonically Sleeping in the Same Bed in the previous chapter. A Two-fer!
I am still looking for Dueling Tongues, Aaah- ahhhh! and Straight People Do Not Exist in This AU.
Reply
There are two instances of platonic-bed sharing in Khyber's Reach, first before they get called to the emergency situation by the military:
He lay on his back, an equilibrium of distance between them which raised questions of neither intimacy nor avoidance. A half-extended forearm, a short span, if either chose to reach.
and one after the shooting incident:
They slept together again, in a way for the last time, clothes maintaining bodies' modesty that souls have abandoned, and were close and silent.
I thought for sure that there would be dueling tongues in Skin, but the closest things my ctrl-f "tongue" came up with were: His tongue collided with hers and so that her mouth could meet his and tangle her tongue with his among many many other tongue references.
However, from Backtracking by Kel and Scetti:
Mulder's lips rested firm and still against hers, and Scully realized that this was the same way he had begun his massage, leaving his hands motionless on her ( ... )
Reply
Lube seems to be elusive. Cyanide and Astroglide fits the bill (the title kinda gives it away...)
P.S. When I saw 'French' I thought Morticia and Gomez. Of course I did.
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