Comments | xf_book_club: Story 165: "First/Second" by Amal Nahurriyeh

amyhit in xf_book_club

Story 165: "First/Second" by Amal Nahurriyeh

Jun 16, 2011 20:21

wendelah1 has been extra busy lately, so I'll be posting again this week. Because Human Credentials sparked a fair amount of discussion for its controversial sex scene, Wendelah suggested we read First/Second by Amal. Short and without a plot to speak of, it's not much like our last rec in any way, but it does feature a less than idyllic sex scene that is ( Read more... )

season 3, post episode, nc-17, season 5, msr

Comments 10

estella_c June 23 2011, 17:16:45 UTC

Well, this is silly. A not-long piece by a top writer and no one's talking. Maybe it's the humidity ( ... )

wendelah1 June 26 2011, 19:27:43 UTC

Because I don't think "Second" resolves "First." I don't think they belong together at all. Two years. The post-ops are in place, but two years is still a copout. That wound would not, could not fester so long.

Thank you for articulating this so well. It helped me to understand, both the first and second time through, why this story disturbed me to such an extent. Without that resolution, both what happened between them that night and the horror of what had been done to her in the past aren't just left hanging, their impacts on her life and her sexuality are minimized and diminished.

Part 1: Be careful what you wish for: "First, Second" wendelah1 June 24 2011, 00:27:03 UTC

Well, this is awkward ( ... )

Re: Part 1: Be careful what you wish for: "First, Second" amyhit June 27 2011, 04:18:22 UTC

She keeps making excuses for him, too, as though she's an abused wife.

Actually, from what I can see Scully only makes one excuse for him, when she thinks, He needs to feel in control of something, and in that case it's less an excuse and more an explanation for his why he's doing things the way he is.

When he restrains her hands, she finally panics.

It seems to me that she's into it right up until he pins her wrists. She's a little bit freak out right from the beginning, sure, but the writing indicates that she's into it regardless.

She wants him to stop. Unfortunately, by that point, she's so traumatized that she can't say the words.

But it's not as though what Mulder's doing is what's traumatized her. She's been traumatized in the past, and what Mulder's doing is triggering her panic.

In addition, I don't think it's even her panic that is keeping her from telling him to stop. I agree that she doesn't want it to be happening this way, at this moment. She has moved, she realizes, from hoping this will be good to hoping it ( ... )

Re: Part 1: Be careful what you wish for: "First, Second" amyhit June 27 2011, 04:55:07 UTC

I think Mulder's physical dominance in the scene is secondary to the struggle for dominance happening between Scully and herself.

I guess I could add that what makes this such an intelligent exploration of the character dynamics of sex, I think, is that it's really only secondarily about the control dynamic between them. It's primarily about Mulder needing control of himself, and Scully, in an even deeper sense, needing control of herself. And about the way that really messes things up when they try to be intimate.

My favorite lines all speak directly to these things:

But tonight she thinks if all he does is jerk off over her body she'll be unable to keep from crying in front of him, unable to keep it under control.

"What I need is for people to stop telling me what to do," he yells suddenly.

"Scully, I almost." He doesn't stop thrusting, even as he drops his head to mutter into the comforter next to her ear. "Scully I could have--Scully. God, Scully--Scully I--I--"

She is vibrating on a molecular level, jumping between states ( ... )

Part 2: Be careful what you wish for: "First, Second" wendelah1 June 24 2011, 00:39:51 UTC

He wants to fuck her up against the door but she convinces him to go for the bed. Once they start having sex, it's like she's decided she's going through with it, no matter what. The section where she is trying to convince herself that she's safe, even though he's pinching her nipples (!) and his eyes are vacant (!) and he's acting nuts, are pretty tough to read. She keeps making excuses for him, too, as though she's an abused wife. When he restrains her hands, she finally panics. She wants him to stop. Unfortunately, by that point, she's so traumatized that she can't say the words. Now that part I can well believe. This is how it works, unfortunately.

Leaving aside the issue of whether or not Mulder would behave this way, since authors have the right to tell the story they want to tell, I still find myself having a huge problem with this.

I just don't like the idea of Scully sacrificing herself that way for Mulder.

It has been pointed out to me in multiple venues on multiple occasions that this is a valid interpretation of ( ... )

amyhit June 27 2011, 03:03:04 UTC

I really admire sexual dynamics exploration fic (do we need an acronym? we could call it FEDS: Fic Exploring the Dynamics of Sex *g*). I get so used to reading sex scenes where the sexual dynamic between Mulder and Scully is unhealthy but the writer seems to have had no idea it's creepy and therefore not hot. And every time I read one of those fics I always end up wishing there were more fanfic writers who were interested in the sexual dynamic between the characters for what it said about the characters, as much as for the sex itself ( ... )

estella_c June 27 2011, 19:31:55 UTC

Impressed as I once again am with your finely detailed explanation of all fictional implications, I just can't accept this. I suppose though it's *theoretically* possible to see deep denial as a triumphant rescuing of the partnership, it doesn't make emotional sense to me. There's denial and then there's insanity. Split personality, traumatic amnesia, or something equally weird. But M & S are just human beings with baggage. They are confined to a TV show, but fanfic opens up their world to our joint imagination. Day after day in that office, in those motels, facing down the bureaucrats and the satanic visitations and the mothmen, and they just *never bring it up?" Even as an unplanned embrace, or an impulsive, bitter snark ( ... )

wendelah1 June 28 2011, 06:09:37 UTC

I do like the idea of Scully fighting for her own control during the sex, and I really don't see it as a rape scenario, or demeaning to her. (Wendy's comment about the stubbornness of PTSD is pertinent, but I don't understand PTSD...

Well, today is your lucky day, since today is National PTSD Awareness Day. Really, it is. Here, have a link. The Department of Veteran's Affairs estimates that anywhere from 11-20% of American veterans may be suffering from it.

amyhit June 29 2011, 01:14:21 UTC

I frequently take it as a given that Mulder and Scully are both perpetually dealing with traumas and anxieties extreme enough that they would almost certainly qualify for a diagnosis of some type of disorder, if they sought one out. But in both canon and many fics, they don't tend to seek help unless they find they are having problems functioning professionally. So perhaps Scully seeks therapy after her first experience with Mulder in F/S. Or perhaps she doesn't, and continues to deal with it on her own. Scully seems to be in a much better state of mind in the second part, but that doesn't necessarily mean she's all better.

"Mulder, last time...well, it wasn't under the best conditions. And, really...I've gotten better since then, I think. I think...we should be fine. You don't need to worry."

It means that the conditions are better this time: Bad guy caught, enough agreement between the two of them to make writing the report easy enough, no major trauma anywhere nearby. And Scully feels better within herself. But it's not like she' ( ... )