Fic: Asymmetric Nostrils is the Name of My Next Band(1/1)Emil Lapin, Barbara Gordon[X-Men/Batclan]
Fandom: X-Men 616/DCU pre-boot
Characters: Emil Lapin, Barbara Gordon (Batgirl I/Oracle)
Rating: Teens
Summary: A tie-in to lithiumlaughter's WIP finished fic Conflict of Interets. This is both a bribe & a homage.
=^o.O^=
Babs didn't normally speak to anyone outside of ops but this Rabbit guy/girl had happened upon a harmless piggyback and she was bored. Slow night in Gotham. Bruce was probably going nuts.
"So, Oracle, do you genuinely love Tron that much or is this an ironic head tilt to the sequel?"
"You have something against the new Tron movie, Rabbit?"
"Aside from the fact that some things don't age well, no. It's makes my job easier when people thing the Internet is a series of glowing tubes. Speaking of tubes, the flushing sound is your phage going the way of the dodo. Buh-bye."
"Flush all you want, 'cause your code is eaten up with as many holes as Swiss cheese. No skin off my honey pot "
"Yeah, baby, you just-- wait, did you just? Oh, you are nasty. You are a bad, bad thing, sha."
She smiled. "That's right. All your lousy worms have fallen into a trap. Watching you work is pretty amusing, I must say."
"Enjoying yourself?"
"Meh."
"Meh? Meh?!"
"It's not like I've developed raster burn. I've barely even-- oh." Babs stared at two of her slave monitors, wondering if she read the code right. "Oh, you. Did. NOT just ice me."
"Mmm, cool as, sha."
"Gloves are officially off, larva." Her fingers flew over the keys.
"You keep calling me all them nasty names, I'm gonna think you're in love."
"The only thing I'm going to love is the smell of your towers frying through the lines."
"Burn this one, and I got many more. And just to keep things interesting, I'monna tell you know there's a little mockingbird hidden in your system. Have fun finding it. My, oh, my I had no idea you liked to collect naked pictures of Bludhaven's best."
"Bitch, bird is found and reverted. Tell your Uncle JP that he can have his Turks & Caicos account back as soon as MSF buys itself a year's worth of meds."
"Oh yeah? Hope you didn't mind the hard reformat. Tumbling through your network in five, four, three--"
"And I'm positive you didn't actually need those connections into the FBI so I'm went ahead and boosted with firewall to make sure their security could trace everything right back to you. Worm chopped into itty-bitty pieces besides. Yawn and next."
"Who needs the FBI when I got entrance into..."
The sudden empty air made Babs' heart play ripples across her ribs. "Did you hurt yourself, Baby Bunny?"
"... Chere. You hacked into the Justice League Watchtower? You got a death wish?"
Oh. Shit. She watched as he started burning one of her main leads into Watchtower. "Back the hell off that line."
"I am doing this for your own good, Oracle. You don't want them on your case."
"Rabbit, you press one more key and I promise you, I'll make sure they raze your place to the ground."
"Fine. It's your funeral."
"Thank you."
"Been nice knowing you. I'll make sure they get your effigy right on the headstone. 'Here lies Oracle: she hid her brains behind a monitor and her beauty behind a mask.'"
"For all you know, I could be hiding asymmetrical nostrils."
"Sha, asymmetrical nostrils make me randy."
Babs turned her microphone off and laughed.
The title is taken from John Scalzi's Twitter which is awesome.
Characters: Emil Lapin, Barbara Gordon (Batgirl I/Oracle)
Rating: Teens
Summary: A tie-in to lithiumlaughter's WIP finished fic Conflict of Interets. This is both a bribe & a homage.
=^o.O^=
Babs didn't normally speak to anyone outside of ops but this Rabbit guy/girl had happened upon a harmless piggyback and she was bored. Slow night in Gotham. Bruce was probably going nuts.
"So, Oracle, do you genuinely love Tron that much or is this an ironic head tilt to the sequel?"
"You have something against the new Tron movie, Rabbit?"
"Aside from the fact that some things don't age well, no. It's makes my job easier when people thing the Internet is a series of glowing tubes. Speaking of tubes, the flushing sound is your phage going the way of the dodo. Buh-bye."
"Flush all you want, 'cause your code is eaten up with as many holes as Swiss cheese. No skin off my honey pot "
"Yeah, baby, you just-- wait, did you just? Oh, you are nasty. You are a bad, bad thing, sha."
She smiled. "That's right. All your lousy worms have fallen into a trap. Watching you work is pretty amusing, I must say."
"Enjoying yourself?"
"Meh."
"Meh? Meh?!"
"It's not like I've developed raster burn. I've barely even-- oh." Babs stared at two of her slave monitors, wondering if she read the code right. "Oh, you. Did. NOT just ice me."
"Mmm, cool as, sha."
"Gloves are officially off, larva." Her fingers flew over the keys.
"You keep calling me all them nasty names, I'm gonna think you're in love."
"The only thing I'm going to love is the smell of your towers frying through the lines."
"Burn this one, and I got many more. And just to keep things interesting, I'monna tell you know there's a little mockingbird hidden in your system. Have fun finding it. My, oh, my I had no idea you liked to collect naked pictures of Bludhaven's best."
"Bitch, bird is found and reverted. Tell your Uncle JP that he can have his Turks & Caicos account back as soon as MSF buys itself a year's worth of meds."
"Oh yeah? Hope you didn't mind the hard reformat. Tumbling through your network in five, four, three--"
"And I'm positive you didn't actually need those connections into the FBI so I'm went ahead and boosted with firewall to make sure their security could trace everything right back to you. Worm chopped into itty-bitty pieces besides. Yawn and next."
"Who needs the FBI when I got entrance into..."
The sudden empty air made Babs' heart play ripples across her ribs. "Did you hurt yourself, Baby Bunny?"
"... Chere. You hacked into the Justice League Watchtower? You got a death wish?"
Oh. Shit. She watched as he started burning one of her main leads into Watchtower. "Back the hell off that line."
"I am doing this for your own good, Oracle. You don't want them on your case."
"Rabbit, you press one more key and I promise you, I'll make sure they raze your place to the ground."
"Fine. It's your funeral."
"Thank you."
"Been nice knowing you. I'll make sure they get your effigy right on the headstone. 'Here lies Oracle: she hid her brains behind a monitor and her beauty behind a mask.'"
"For all you know, I could be hiding asymmetrical nostrils."
"Sha, asymmetrical nostrils make me randy."
Babs turned her microphone off and laughed.
The title is taken from John Scalzi's Twitter which is awesome.