Meet Death - Chapter 12
Title: Meet Death
Author: Aisu
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Akame
Genre: AU, comedy, romance
Disclaimer: I don't own Akame.
Summary: While Kazuya fights a losing battle for his life, a strange figure appears just as his heart beats for what should have been the last time. Introducing himself as Death, Kazuya is bound to the figure that brought him back from the dead.
[ 00 | 01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05 | 06 | 07 | 08 | 09 | 10 | 11 ]
CHAPTER 12
"Jin, a doctor?!" the man from The Underworld questioned unbelievingly.
"What was I supposed to do?!" Jin asked. "I was desperate, I can't leave yet, I don't know what to do..." Jin's hands went to his head as he tussled his hair in frustration. "I don't... I don't... I..." Jin sighed, so troubled that he couldn't even finish his sentence. His eyes looked far beyond the walls he was confined by. "I can't do this... How do you do this? Why do I have to be here? Why... Why were we picked? ...Kazuya, he has questions... lots of them... but so do I. How am I supposed to answer his questions if I don't know the answer to half of my own?!"
Jin's back lay against a wall; his head leaned back as he stared up at the ceiling. His mind spun, his own world twirled about him as he stood dizzied by its unpredictable nature. The doctor seemed to be his only reasonable choice; who else would he possess? Some normal civilian who had no connection to the couple that stood in the room? At least a doctor's words had some value attached to them; the couple would at least give some sort of consideration toward them, hence gaining Jin more time.
As Jin took another glance at the woman before him, he felt like crying. She took slow steps toward his bedside where his lifeless body lay; she knelt down beside him, taking his lifeless hand into her own; she held it, tightening her grip with each second as if it would somehow bring him back to life.
Jin hated this, seeing his own helpless self resting in a bed unable to do anything, unable to reach out and talk with the people he cared most about. Seeing himself only reminded him of how careless he had been to end up like this. What hurt the most however was having to watch others live with the loss-and not those just affected by his state.
Death experienced many miserable partings; too many for his liking. And he had to live with each one clearly embedded in his mind. He had to live hearing the cries of the dead every waking second. It was the worst kind of torture imaginable, and no matter what you tried, nothing would save you from it. It wasn't some nightmare that you could just awake from, it was a reality you had to face and overcome, otherwise you would surely break and fail in your task. Hope was something you had to create for yourself and believe in.
"Mom..." he whined in a childlike manner, wishing she could hear his voice as he clenched the hand she held, wanting to feel his mother's warmth though he knew it was no use. "Don't let go, I'll come back..."
He couldn't believe that he had actually forgotten about his parents after becoming Death and falling into what felt like an eternal slumber. The only reason he even knew about his parents now was because of the man that stood beside him, the one that always watched over him and made sure he was okay regardless of whether or not that was his duty now.
Death was not supposed to know the location of his or her body. They were not to have any connection to the life they had while they were alive. It was thought that if Death were to have a connection, they wouldn't be able to focus on their task. Their mind would constantly wander, and their emotional instability as a result would further ruin their chance of success. However, in Jin's case, someone had thought otherwise.
Jin had received help from the most unexpected person. The only one he was truly connected to in The Underworld, the one that stood by him right now in this room, the one that who, because of his role, would normally avoid Death instead of seeking him out, had reached out and guided Jin instead of hoping that he would follow in the footsteps of the previous Deaths.
This man that looked after Jin had made a decision on his own. Regardless of the fact that previous Deaths had died in The World of the Living, thus preventing them from completing their task, this man could not stand back and watch Jin suffer from the same fate. He could not let it be over just like that, without sufficient time, without a chance. Life isn't fair; that's what they say. However, this man did not want the same to be said about Death.
Jin couldn't help but cross the room and kneel beside his mother. Though it was futile, he lifted a hand to run his fingers across her cheek, careful not to actually touch her and see his hand pass through her figure, because then the reality of the situation would hit even harder and he didn't need to know she couldn't feel his touch; he already knew that.
Jin silently watched his mother at this close proximity and took in every detail. Her face was, as always, full of meaningful expression. She was fair-skinned, her face gleaming with tears as she forced a small smile upon her rosy lips. She pushed a stray lock of brown hair behind her ear and returned her hand to the still body before her. "Jin... you know I love you, right? You know that I want you to come back, don't you?" She choked back her sobs as she raised herself and leaned over the bed, looking down at her son, and placed a hand upon a side of Jin's face. "I can't stand seeing you like this anymore... Three years... Isn't it a bit too much to continue believing you'll come back? Isn't this just false hope? ...But I want to keep believing... I want to believe that one day when I walk into this room, you'll be standing beside that door, hiding from me so that when I walk in you can come out from behind me, wrap your arms around me, and say something stupid like you always do so I'll know that you're really back."
"I just need a bit more time," Jin whispered.
And a bit more time is what he had received.
After possessing a doctor, Jin had lied to his parents. He told them that the man that lay in the bed had actually begun to show signs of recovery; though after three years of being in a coma, there was almost no chance of waking up again. He had, as his mother had said, instilled false hope into her heart. He gave them something to hold on to. A lie. And after doing so, Jin walked the doctor out from the room and returned by himself to watch his weeping mother.
"Jin..." the one from The Underworld breathed, a worried expression on his face. He had stepped through the wall, hoping to give Jin a moment of privacy, but instead stumbled upon unexpected company and returned.
Jin glanced up, looked at the man, and followed his gaze, only to have his eyes widen at the sight of a confused boy. "Kazuya," he whispered. "Dammit!" Jin's form instantly relocated from the bedside to Kazuya, a fiery glare in his eyes as he stared at the boy. "What are you doing here?" Jin immediately questioned.
Kazuya barely had time to respond to Jin's sudden presence, let alone answer his question with all the thoughts running through his head.
"It doesn't matter," Jin concluded. "Stay out of this; get out of here Kazuya. Don't ever come back here again, got it?" he ordered in a firm voice.
Kazuya's face clearly conveyed a feeling of confusion, his mouth slightly agape as if about to ask a question, only he couldn't decide on which one to voice. He could only look upon the one that held the answers, unaware of anything that was happening around him.
"Got it?!" Jin shouted in need of a reply.
The boy flinched at the loud voice. Now, not only was Kazuya now confused, but pissed. He couldn't very well retaliate, however. No one else could see Jin, and the hospital wasn't exactly the appropriate place. Either way, he didn't feel like having a shouting match just then.
Jin wouldn't forget the hate that burned in Kazuya's eyes that moment as the boy turned from him and walked at a quick pace toward the hospital's exit.
x♠x
Kazuya gazed out the window as he sat in his bed, his back wedged into a corner of his room as he clutched at a pillow in his lap. "That bastard," he muttered through gritted teeth. "Who the hell does he think he is, just suddenly yelling at me like that? It's not like I showed up there on purpose. It's not like I ever even asked to get involved in this." Kazuya planted his face into the pillow he held, the soft material soaking up what tears had formed in his brown eyes. "I hope he doesn't come back," Kazuya mumbled as he shifted, causing the silver chain to fall from his pocket. "...What am I going to do with something like this, Obaachan?" Kazuya sighed as he reached for the chain and held it up, watching the key dangle from his hand once again before he clasped it around his neck, stuffing it beneath his shirt.
Just then, he was reminded of a particular sentence that left his dying grandmother's lips as she stared at Death head-on.
"I thought I saw you in another part of the building."
"She... she knew?" Kazuya's eyes widened at the thought. "I need to sleep," he concluded as he adjusted his pillow and curled into a ball, tugging at his blanket.
Sleeping wouldn't solve anything; he knew that. But it provided him with a moment to himself in which he was able to leave the stress real life presented him with. For just a while, everything would be okay; for just a while, his life would be a dream.
x♠x
"I'm not exactly a child anymore and... You're not listening to me, are you?" came the slightly annoyed voice of Pi. "Kamenashi Kazuya, you. Need. To. Take. Full. Re. Spon. Si. Bil. I. Ty," Pi said with a light tap on the counter emphasizing each syllable.
"What?" Kazuya asked indifferently as he wiped down a table in Kazen.
Pi sighed. "Your ojiisan! He's an older man! He shouldn't be acting so immature for someone his age! This teasing needs to stop."
"Oh," Kazuya replied without interest. "Well, pink is your stereotypical girl color."
"Kazuyaaaaaa, you're supposed to be on my side," Pi said as he pointed to himself, though he found the action to be quite useless as the whole time he had been looking at Kazuya, his eyes only met the boy's back. "...Poor guy," Pi mumbled to himself, his cheerful mood now sullen. "Well, the funeral was only just yesterday. He shouldn't even be at work..." There's something else though, Pi thought. Kazuya hadn't quite been himself the past few weeks at Kazen. His mind was always somewhere else; he was always out of it.
"Hey Pi," Kazuya suddenly called, drawing Pi out of his own thoughts.
"Yeah?"
"How do you know if someone loves you?"
x♠x
As he walked home from work, Kazuya pulled a sheet of paper from one of the textbooks he carried. Earlier in the day when he had classes, he had run up to the library to find a computer and pull up a search engine. In the search box, he typed ‘Akanishi Jin' and hesitantly pressed enter. He couldn't help but feel as if he were being watched every moment, and that if no one else were around, Jin would suddenly appear at his side to ask what he was doing. However, Kazuya could only be left in the dark for so long. He had stumbled upon this bit of information, and he intended to use it to his advantage.
When the search page loaded, there were a few snippets from news articles containing the name Akanishi Jin. Clicking on the first link, Kazuya waited for the page to load and then his eyes began to rapidly scan the page.
----------------------------
MAN DIES AFTER JUMPING IN FRONT OF ONCOMING TRAIN
A man died after jumping in front of a train at a railroad station in downtown Tokyo on Wednesday morning in an alleged suicide, police said. The man has yet to be identified.
Witnesses also claim that Akanishi Jin, a young man also at the site of the suicide, mysteriously fainted at the very moment the suicide was committed. It was reported that he has lapsed into a coma and is currently being hospitalized.
"It happened simultaneously," Naoko Suzuki described the event as she had witnessed. "The young man was watching as this other guy jumped out in front of the train, and the second the train collided with his body, the boy fainted as if he had been hit as well."
----------------------------
"It happened simultaneously...?" Kazuya repeated the sentence to himself. "How could he just faint for no apparent reason?" The boy continued to read through the paper several more times. "I have to be missing something... There's got to be something..."
When Kazuya's apartment came into view, the boy shook his head as thoughts of whether or not Jin would be there waiting for him crossed his mind. "I can't think right now..." he said as he slipped the paper back under the cover of his book. "Why the heck am I hesitant about walking into my own apartment..." Kazuya mumbled as he pushed open the front door.
As he shut the door behind him, Kazuya turned his head searching for any signs of Jin. "Not here..." he breathed. With a few steps he tossed his books onto the table and walked over to the window.
"I thought I told you to stay out of this."
Kazuya spun around, and sure enough, there was Jin; there was Death. He stood with the paper Kazuya held just seconds earlier, a stern look on his face as he scanned the article.
"What is this?" Jin asked as he glanced up from the paper. "Why don't you ever listen to me?"
What is this, Kazuya silently repeated to himself. What is this? Is he chastising me like some kid? Does he really expect me to go on being happily ignorant? Who the hell does he think he is just suddenly walking into my life and thinking he can control me?
"Maybe you've forgotten that we have a contract."
"You've gotta be fuckin' kidding me," Kazuya spat, heading toward the door again. He didn't need this right now. Just the fact that he was the one having to leave his own apartment pissed him off enough.
"Do you need a recap of what that contract states?"
"I don't give a damn about your stupid contract, Jin!" Kazuya shouted as he whipped around. "Take my fucking soul and be done with it already!"
Death's appearance remained calm and collected, though Kazuya was clearly far from that. Surely Jin could feel the hate the boy directed straight at him. Kazuya's harsh gaze didn't let up for a second, but when he turned to leave the apartment something made Jin snap.
"Don't you walk away from me when I'm talking to you!" Jin demanded in a loud voice as he strode over to the latter and took Kazuya's wrist in a tight grip. "Do you realize how big a pain in the ass it is for me to be paired up with an insolent, disobedient, mouthy brat like you?!" he shouted just inches from Kazuya's face, the boy now silent as he took in Jin's words.
"So that's what you think of me?" Kazuya asked, though it was almost said as a statement.
"If you want my honest opinion, yes, that's what I think of you," Jin confirmed in an unwavering voice, his eyes locked with Kazuya's as they exchanged glares.
Kazuya would have tried to free his wrist, but he knew that by trying he would look like a fool. Jin's grip was too strong. He couldn't leave, so instead he just stood his ground without a word.
"And that's because you are those things, and you know it, Kazuya," Jin continued in a normal tone of voice, and Kazuya couldn't believe what he was hearing. There was a short pause as Jin appeared to collect his thoughts.
Jin couldn't do this; he couldn't yell at his Kazuya, the one that guided him through day to day life, the one that treated his cut after being careless, the one he watched sleep with a peaceful face. Of course he didn't want Kazuya to go behind his back and research things that he shouldn't know, but wasn't that inevitable? If Jin himself came upon some sort of information that helped him better understand his role as Death, wouldn't he take advantage of it?
Now what, Jin wondered. He had never lost his temper like that before, so why now? How was he supposed to fix this? Kazuya wasn't even up to bickering, and Jin didn't want to know how long the boy would leave for if he let go.
"...Jin? Jin, what're you...?!" Before Kazuya could even fully voice his question, he was cut off as Jin's lips captured his in a gentle kiss. The man's hand was still tightly wrapped around Kazuya's wrist, but that didn't stop the boy from using his other hand to push the other away.
Jin looked at Kazuya questioningly. "What?" he asked, innocently.
"What?" Kazuya quietly repeated, more to himself than the other. "What do you mean what? We're fighting; you don't kiss someone when you're in the middle of a fight!"
Though he had heard the words, Jin didn't understand. He stood blinking, a puzzled look plastered upon his face. "...Why?"
"Because you just don't, okay?!" Kazuya yelled in frustration. "Let go of me!"
"No."
"Jin, let go of me, now."
"I said no."
Kazuya closed his eyes as a long sigh escaped his lips. "Jin, I get it already, okay?! But I still wouldn't have acted any different. You can't just expect me to do nothing. Moreover, did you have to be such an ass about it?!" Kazuya yelled. "Even on the same day as the funeral," the boy muttered to himself. "Heartless bastard. But then again, what else should I expect from someone like you?"
"...I meant what I said about you." Jin avoided looking up, lest he be met with another glare. "But that's not the only way I think of you. You're not just those things."
"Are you going to insult me more?!" Kazuya asked incredulously.
"No, I... Kazuya," Jin released his grip on the boy and reached out, only to have his hand slapped away.
"It's not like I went there on purpose! How the hell was I supposed to know you were in that room?!" Kazuya asked as rubbed his wrist.
You weren't, Jin thought to himself.
He had been reckless in handling the situation, his only thought to get Kazuya as far away from that hospital as possible. Jin couldn't believe the location of his body himself. Of all places, the same one that Kazuya had been hospitalized in.
Once Kazuya had settled down, or at least appeared to have settled down, Jin began mumbling to himself. "I don't think I like this... being human," he said as he sat on the arm of the couch. "You're too vulnerable..."
Where did that come from, Kazuya wondered, though he was rather taken aback by the sudden confession. "So you'd rather go through life as some zombie? With no emotions? Without being able to feel?! What's the point in living if you can't experience that? So what, you have to endure pain, you have to deal with the unwanted feelings; it's not as if that's the only thing life has to offer!"
The boy was starting to work himself up again, and that was something Jin wanted to avoid. Everything that came out of his mouth seemed to be misunderstood. He half-wondered if he should just shut up instead of trying to clear things up, but he figured he couldn't screw up any more than he already had. "That's not-"
"Apparently I haven't taught you anything. Maybe I should just let you have my damned soul, maybe-"
"Just listen to me, okay?!" Jin interrupted. "I'm stupid; I know that. I'm an idiot, right? But just listen to me for a minute. I'm still not used to all of this," Jin admitted. "I'm still not used to your world, to people... I don't know how to deal with things the way you do. At least I'm not lying. I really don't like feeling vulnerable. I've never had to worry about feeling vulnerable as Death... but now... I don't know. This feeling of helplessness, I'm not used to it. It's you, Kazuya. It's your fault. You make me vulnerable."
Though words had flown from his mouth just seconds before, Kazuya found that he had no response to Jin. If anything, he wanted to ask how it was his fault; how did he make him vulnerable? But he could only remain silent as minutes began to pass and he leaned against the doorframe.
"...Are we still fighting?" Jin quietly asked.
Kazuya looked up from the floor and found Jin's expression to match that of a confused 10 year-old. That's not the type of question you ask at a time like this, Kazuya thought. Of course, it's not like he could say yes and prolong the silence even more. He was done with his ranting anyway; what else could he have to say after Jin's little accusation?
"No," Kazuya faintly replied. And as soon as the word left his lips, he somehow knew that Jin would then walk over to him and wrap his arms loosely around his waist in a gentle embrace.
"...I don't want your soul, Kazuya," Jin said as he rested his chin upon the latter's shoulder.
I want your heart.
A/N (Aisu): I was debating on whether or not to cut that last line from this chapter... But, eh, I'll go with it for now. For some reason I'm not too fond of this chapter...
- It's 3:57am; I hope you're all SATISFIED. XDDD I'm not going to bother editing this one until tomorrow (which is later today, actually) but I thought I'd at least get it up for you all to read.
And with that~
MERRY CHRISTMAS! Or whatever else it is that you celebrate. :] ♥
I'll take comments as a nice xmas gift~ ;D
Author: Aisu
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Akame
Genre: AU, comedy, romance
Disclaimer: I don't own Akame.
Summary: While Kazuya fights a losing battle for his life, a strange figure appears just as his heart beats for what should have been the last time. Introducing himself as Death, Kazuya is bound to the figure that brought him back from the dead.
[ 00 | 01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05 | 06 | 07 | 08 | 09 | 10 | 11 ]
CHAPTER 12
"Jin, a doctor?!" the man from The Underworld questioned unbelievingly.
"What was I supposed to do?!" Jin asked. "I was desperate, I can't leave yet, I don't know what to do..." Jin's hands went to his head as he tussled his hair in frustration. "I don't... I don't... I..." Jin sighed, so troubled that he couldn't even finish his sentence. His eyes looked far beyond the walls he was confined by. "I can't do this... How do you do this? Why do I have to be here? Why... Why were we picked? ...Kazuya, he has questions... lots of them... but so do I. How am I supposed to answer his questions if I don't know the answer to half of my own?!"
Jin's back lay against a wall; his head leaned back as he stared up at the ceiling. His mind spun, his own world twirled about him as he stood dizzied by its unpredictable nature. The doctor seemed to be his only reasonable choice; who else would he possess? Some normal civilian who had no connection to the couple that stood in the room? At least a doctor's words had some value attached to them; the couple would at least give some sort of consideration toward them, hence gaining Jin more time.
As Jin took another glance at the woman before him, he felt like crying. She took slow steps toward his bedside where his lifeless body lay; she knelt down beside him, taking his lifeless hand into her own; she held it, tightening her grip with each second as if it would somehow bring him back to life.
Jin hated this, seeing his own helpless self resting in a bed unable to do anything, unable to reach out and talk with the people he cared most about. Seeing himself only reminded him of how careless he had been to end up like this. What hurt the most however was having to watch others live with the loss-and not those just affected by his state.
Death experienced many miserable partings; too many for his liking. And he had to live with each one clearly embedded in his mind. He had to live hearing the cries of the dead every waking second. It was the worst kind of torture imaginable, and no matter what you tried, nothing would save you from it. It wasn't some nightmare that you could just awake from, it was a reality you had to face and overcome, otherwise you would surely break and fail in your task. Hope was something you had to create for yourself and believe in.
"Mom..." he whined in a childlike manner, wishing she could hear his voice as he clenched the hand she held, wanting to feel his mother's warmth though he knew it was no use. "Don't let go, I'll come back..."
He couldn't believe that he had actually forgotten about his parents after becoming Death and falling into what felt like an eternal slumber. The only reason he even knew about his parents now was because of the man that stood beside him, the one that always watched over him and made sure he was okay regardless of whether or not that was his duty now.
Death was not supposed to know the location of his or her body. They were not to have any connection to the life they had while they were alive. It was thought that if Death were to have a connection, they wouldn't be able to focus on their task. Their mind would constantly wander, and their emotional instability as a result would further ruin their chance of success. However, in Jin's case, someone had thought otherwise.
Jin had received help from the most unexpected person. The only one he was truly connected to in The Underworld, the one that stood by him right now in this room, the one that who, because of his role, would normally avoid Death instead of seeking him out, had reached out and guided Jin instead of hoping that he would follow in the footsteps of the previous Deaths.
This man that looked after Jin had made a decision on his own. Regardless of the fact that previous Deaths had died in The World of the Living, thus preventing them from completing their task, this man could not stand back and watch Jin suffer from the same fate. He could not let it be over just like that, without sufficient time, without a chance. Life isn't fair; that's what they say. However, this man did not want the same to be said about Death.
Jin couldn't help but cross the room and kneel beside his mother. Though it was futile, he lifted a hand to run his fingers across her cheek, careful not to actually touch her and see his hand pass through her figure, because then the reality of the situation would hit even harder and he didn't need to know she couldn't feel his touch; he already knew that.
Jin silently watched his mother at this close proximity and took in every detail. Her face was, as always, full of meaningful expression. She was fair-skinned, her face gleaming with tears as she forced a small smile upon her rosy lips. She pushed a stray lock of brown hair behind her ear and returned her hand to the still body before her. "Jin... you know I love you, right? You know that I want you to come back, don't you?" She choked back her sobs as she raised herself and leaned over the bed, looking down at her son, and placed a hand upon a side of Jin's face. "I can't stand seeing you like this anymore... Three years... Isn't it a bit too much to continue believing you'll come back? Isn't this just false hope? ...But I want to keep believing... I want to believe that one day when I walk into this room, you'll be standing beside that door, hiding from me so that when I walk in you can come out from behind me, wrap your arms around me, and say something stupid like you always do so I'll know that you're really back."
"I just need a bit more time," Jin whispered.
And a bit more time is what he had received.
After possessing a doctor, Jin had lied to his parents. He told them that the man that lay in the bed had actually begun to show signs of recovery; though after three years of being in a coma, there was almost no chance of waking up again. He had, as his mother had said, instilled false hope into her heart. He gave them something to hold on to. A lie. And after doing so, Jin walked the doctor out from the room and returned by himself to watch his weeping mother.
"Jin..." the one from The Underworld breathed, a worried expression on his face. He had stepped through the wall, hoping to give Jin a moment of privacy, but instead stumbled upon unexpected company and returned.
Jin glanced up, looked at the man, and followed his gaze, only to have his eyes widen at the sight of a confused boy. "Kazuya," he whispered. "Dammit!" Jin's form instantly relocated from the bedside to Kazuya, a fiery glare in his eyes as he stared at the boy. "What are you doing here?" Jin immediately questioned.
Kazuya barely had time to respond to Jin's sudden presence, let alone answer his question with all the thoughts running through his head.
"It doesn't matter," Jin concluded. "Stay out of this; get out of here Kazuya. Don't ever come back here again, got it?" he ordered in a firm voice.
Kazuya's face clearly conveyed a feeling of confusion, his mouth slightly agape as if about to ask a question, only he couldn't decide on which one to voice. He could only look upon the one that held the answers, unaware of anything that was happening around him.
"Got it?!" Jin shouted in need of a reply.
The boy flinched at the loud voice. Now, not only was Kazuya now confused, but pissed. He couldn't very well retaliate, however. No one else could see Jin, and the hospital wasn't exactly the appropriate place. Either way, he didn't feel like having a shouting match just then.
Jin wouldn't forget the hate that burned in Kazuya's eyes that moment as the boy turned from him and walked at a quick pace toward the hospital's exit.
x♠x
Kazuya gazed out the window as he sat in his bed, his back wedged into a corner of his room as he clutched at a pillow in his lap. "That bastard," he muttered through gritted teeth. "Who the hell does he think he is, just suddenly yelling at me like that? It's not like I showed up there on purpose. It's not like I ever even asked to get involved in this." Kazuya planted his face into the pillow he held, the soft material soaking up what tears had formed in his brown eyes. "I hope he doesn't come back," Kazuya mumbled as he shifted, causing the silver chain to fall from his pocket. "...What am I going to do with something like this, Obaachan?" Kazuya sighed as he reached for the chain and held it up, watching the key dangle from his hand once again before he clasped it around his neck, stuffing it beneath his shirt.
Just then, he was reminded of a particular sentence that left his dying grandmother's lips as she stared at Death head-on.
"I thought I saw you in another part of the building."
"She... she knew?" Kazuya's eyes widened at the thought. "I need to sleep," he concluded as he adjusted his pillow and curled into a ball, tugging at his blanket.
Sleeping wouldn't solve anything; he knew that. But it provided him with a moment to himself in which he was able to leave the stress real life presented him with. For just a while, everything would be okay; for just a while, his life would be a dream.
x♠x
"I'm not exactly a child anymore and... You're not listening to me, are you?" came the slightly annoyed voice of Pi. "Kamenashi Kazuya, you. Need. To. Take. Full. Re. Spon. Si. Bil. I. Ty," Pi said with a light tap on the counter emphasizing each syllable.
"What?" Kazuya asked indifferently as he wiped down a table in Kazen.
Pi sighed. "Your ojiisan! He's an older man! He shouldn't be acting so immature for someone his age! This teasing needs to stop."
"Oh," Kazuya replied without interest. "Well, pink is your stereotypical girl color."
"Kazuyaaaaaa, you're supposed to be on my side," Pi said as he pointed to himself, though he found the action to be quite useless as the whole time he had been looking at Kazuya, his eyes only met the boy's back. "...Poor guy," Pi mumbled to himself, his cheerful mood now sullen. "Well, the funeral was only just yesterday. He shouldn't even be at work..." There's something else though, Pi thought. Kazuya hadn't quite been himself the past few weeks at Kazen. His mind was always somewhere else; he was always out of it.
"Hey Pi," Kazuya suddenly called, drawing Pi out of his own thoughts.
"Yeah?"
"How do you know if someone loves you?"
x♠x
As he walked home from work, Kazuya pulled a sheet of paper from one of the textbooks he carried. Earlier in the day when he had classes, he had run up to the library to find a computer and pull up a search engine. In the search box, he typed ‘Akanishi Jin' and hesitantly pressed enter. He couldn't help but feel as if he were being watched every moment, and that if no one else were around, Jin would suddenly appear at his side to ask what he was doing. However, Kazuya could only be left in the dark for so long. He had stumbled upon this bit of information, and he intended to use it to his advantage.
When the search page loaded, there were a few snippets from news articles containing the name Akanishi Jin. Clicking on the first link, Kazuya waited for the page to load and then his eyes began to rapidly scan the page.
----------------------------
MAN DIES AFTER JUMPING IN FRONT OF ONCOMING TRAIN
A man died after jumping in front of a train at a railroad station in downtown Tokyo on Wednesday morning in an alleged suicide, police said. The man has yet to be identified.
Witnesses also claim that Akanishi Jin, a young man also at the site of the suicide, mysteriously fainted at the very moment the suicide was committed. It was reported that he has lapsed into a coma and is currently being hospitalized.
"It happened simultaneously," Naoko Suzuki described the event as she had witnessed. "The young man was watching as this other guy jumped out in front of the train, and the second the train collided with his body, the boy fainted as if he had been hit as well."
----------------------------
"It happened simultaneously...?" Kazuya repeated the sentence to himself. "How could he just faint for no apparent reason?" The boy continued to read through the paper several more times. "I have to be missing something... There's got to be something..."
When Kazuya's apartment came into view, the boy shook his head as thoughts of whether or not Jin would be there waiting for him crossed his mind. "I can't think right now..." he said as he slipped the paper back under the cover of his book. "Why the heck am I hesitant about walking into my own apartment..." Kazuya mumbled as he pushed open the front door.
As he shut the door behind him, Kazuya turned his head searching for any signs of Jin. "Not here..." he breathed. With a few steps he tossed his books onto the table and walked over to the window.
"I thought I told you to stay out of this."
Kazuya spun around, and sure enough, there was Jin; there was Death. He stood with the paper Kazuya held just seconds earlier, a stern look on his face as he scanned the article.
"What is this?" Jin asked as he glanced up from the paper. "Why don't you ever listen to me?"
What is this, Kazuya silently repeated to himself. What is this? Is he chastising me like some kid? Does he really expect me to go on being happily ignorant? Who the hell does he think he is just suddenly walking into my life and thinking he can control me?
"Maybe you've forgotten that we have a contract."
"You've gotta be fuckin' kidding me," Kazuya spat, heading toward the door again. He didn't need this right now. Just the fact that he was the one having to leave his own apartment pissed him off enough.
"Do you need a recap of what that contract states?"
"I don't give a damn about your stupid contract, Jin!" Kazuya shouted as he whipped around. "Take my fucking soul and be done with it already!"
Death's appearance remained calm and collected, though Kazuya was clearly far from that. Surely Jin could feel the hate the boy directed straight at him. Kazuya's harsh gaze didn't let up for a second, but when he turned to leave the apartment something made Jin snap.
"Don't you walk away from me when I'm talking to you!" Jin demanded in a loud voice as he strode over to the latter and took Kazuya's wrist in a tight grip. "Do you realize how big a pain in the ass it is for me to be paired up with an insolent, disobedient, mouthy brat like you?!" he shouted just inches from Kazuya's face, the boy now silent as he took in Jin's words.
"So that's what you think of me?" Kazuya asked, though it was almost said as a statement.
"If you want my honest opinion, yes, that's what I think of you," Jin confirmed in an unwavering voice, his eyes locked with Kazuya's as they exchanged glares.
Kazuya would have tried to free his wrist, but he knew that by trying he would look like a fool. Jin's grip was too strong. He couldn't leave, so instead he just stood his ground without a word.
"And that's because you are those things, and you know it, Kazuya," Jin continued in a normal tone of voice, and Kazuya couldn't believe what he was hearing. There was a short pause as Jin appeared to collect his thoughts.
Jin couldn't do this; he couldn't yell at his Kazuya, the one that guided him through day to day life, the one that treated his cut after being careless, the one he watched sleep with a peaceful face. Of course he didn't want Kazuya to go behind his back and research things that he shouldn't know, but wasn't that inevitable? If Jin himself came upon some sort of information that helped him better understand his role as Death, wouldn't he take advantage of it?
Now what, Jin wondered. He had never lost his temper like that before, so why now? How was he supposed to fix this? Kazuya wasn't even up to bickering, and Jin didn't want to know how long the boy would leave for if he let go.
"...Jin? Jin, what're you...?!" Before Kazuya could even fully voice his question, he was cut off as Jin's lips captured his in a gentle kiss. The man's hand was still tightly wrapped around Kazuya's wrist, but that didn't stop the boy from using his other hand to push the other away.
Jin looked at Kazuya questioningly. "What?" he asked, innocently.
"What?" Kazuya quietly repeated, more to himself than the other. "What do you mean what? We're fighting; you don't kiss someone when you're in the middle of a fight!"
Though he had heard the words, Jin didn't understand. He stood blinking, a puzzled look plastered upon his face. "...Why?"
"Because you just don't, okay?!" Kazuya yelled in frustration. "Let go of me!"
"No."
"Jin, let go of me, now."
"I said no."
Kazuya closed his eyes as a long sigh escaped his lips. "Jin, I get it already, okay?! But I still wouldn't have acted any different. You can't just expect me to do nothing. Moreover, did you have to be such an ass about it?!" Kazuya yelled. "Even on the same day as the funeral," the boy muttered to himself. "Heartless bastard. But then again, what else should I expect from someone like you?"
"...I meant what I said about you." Jin avoided looking up, lest he be met with another glare. "But that's not the only way I think of you. You're not just those things."
"Are you going to insult me more?!" Kazuya asked incredulously.
"No, I... Kazuya," Jin released his grip on the boy and reached out, only to have his hand slapped away.
"It's not like I went there on purpose! How the hell was I supposed to know you were in that room?!" Kazuya asked as rubbed his wrist.
You weren't, Jin thought to himself.
He had been reckless in handling the situation, his only thought to get Kazuya as far away from that hospital as possible. Jin couldn't believe the location of his body himself. Of all places, the same one that Kazuya had been hospitalized in.
Once Kazuya had settled down, or at least appeared to have settled down, Jin began mumbling to himself. "I don't think I like this... being human," he said as he sat on the arm of the couch. "You're too vulnerable..."
Where did that come from, Kazuya wondered, though he was rather taken aback by the sudden confession. "So you'd rather go through life as some zombie? With no emotions? Without being able to feel?! What's the point in living if you can't experience that? So what, you have to endure pain, you have to deal with the unwanted feelings; it's not as if that's the only thing life has to offer!"
The boy was starting to work himself up again, and that was something Jin wanted to avoid. Everything that came out of his mouth seemed to be misunderstood. He half-wondered if he should just shut up instead of trying to clear things up, but he figured he couldn't screw up any more than he already had. "That's not-"
"Apparently I haven't taught you anything. Maybe I should just let you have my damned soul, maybe-"
"Just listen to me, okay?!" Jin interrupted. "I'm stupid; I know that. I'm an idiot, right? But just listen to me for a minute. I'm still not used to all of this," Jin admitted. "I'm still not used to your world, to people... I don't know how to deal with things the way you do. At least I'm not lying. I really don't like feeling vulnerable. I've never had to worry about feeling vulnerable as Death... but now... I don't know. This feeling of helplessness, I'm not used to it. It's you, Kazuya. It's your fault. You make me vulnerable."
Though words had flown from his mouth just seconds before, Kazuya found that he had no response to Jin. If anything, he wanted to ask how it was his fault; how did he make him vulnerable? But he could only remain silent as minutes began to pass and he leaned against the doorframe.
"...Are we still fighting?" Jin quietly asked.
Kazuya looked up from the floor and found Jin's expression to match that of a confused 10 year-old. That's not the type of question you ask at a time like this, Kazuya thought. Of course, it's not like he could say yes and prolong the silence even more. He was done with his ranting anyway; what else could he have to say after Jin's little accusation?
"No," Kazuya faintly replied. And as soon as the word left his lips, he somehow knew that Jin would then walk over to him and wrap his arms loosely around his waist in a gentle embrace.
"...I don't want your soul, Kazuya," Jin said as he rested his chin upon the latter's shoulder.
I want your heart.
A/N (Aisu): I was debating on whether or not to cut that last line from this chapter... But, eh, I'll go with it for now. For some reason I'm not too fond of this chapter...
- It's 3:57am; I hope you're all SATISFIED. XDDD I'm not going to bother editing this one until tomorrow (which is later today, actually) but I thought I'd at least get it up for you all to read.
And with that~
MERRY CHRISTMAS! Or whatever else it is that you celebrate. :] ♥
I'll take comments as a nice xmas gift~ ;D