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Comments 36

pheebs1 October 15 2006, 20:55:57 UTC
HEehehehe. I loved the movie conversation, and Charlie stepping up to prank Sam- very nice!!

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x_strangeangels October 15 2006, 21:06:28 UTC
I thought you'd enjoy the movie conversation. Very timely of you to make the observation. ;-P

Hopefully, the chase scene didn't come across as hokey. ;-P

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cariadean October 15 2006, 21:59:56 UTC
"Visions sucked giant green donkey dicks" - really?

How do you do it? This is so upbeat - the practical jokes and the banter had me chuckling merrily - but the end of the world is coming, and there's a rampaging swarm of gargoyles and a little girl is going to be eaten alive ... and still I continue merrily reading.

I love Charlie/Charlotte. I like the way Sam wants to protect her from his philandering big brother but hell - there is definitely chemistry between her and Dean despite the way Dean denies it.

Charlotte the clutz is so very endearing - I don't think I could have liked her if she'd been 'little miss perfect'.

So I'm just going to tuck this away in my memories and wait for the next update ...

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elanurel October 15 2006, 23:21:52 UTC
The "giant green" makes it a technical term. ;-P (Ooh, I should actually credit that phrase in my A/N, because it's something a friend of mine used to say in college.)

As for the banter, I'm not really sure. The characters sometimes seem to write it themselves (especially between Dean and Sam - probably all that extracirricular viewing of the shows).

And thank you for loving Charlie. ;-P

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elanurel October 15 2006, 23:29:33 UTC
Dean's take on his vision? Really really nice - and actually mimics canonSam's. Clever :).

Almost as though I planned it that way... ;-P

The pay off to the chase works really really well - Dean's frustration is so strong you can practically taste it. Lovely.

Whew. I'm glad it came out well, since I changed it so significantly. (Again, kudos to the utterly fabulous J!) But I think it was better to stress Dean's acceptance of being Chosen versus the call.

Do you know what's really nice? That Dean's moving Charlie into the Sam space of his head. Given he's not all that good at relating to people, and he's really only friends with Sam it's lovely to see; and you've echoed that all the way through. It's really really lovely.

Thank you. I have excellent assistance in the character development. There's this poor girl I e-mail frequently with huge long discussions of my fanfic meta.

And Yellow ducks?! Dean, are you five?Heh. I thought, "What would Dean think Charlie would really like, and it would annoy the hell out of her. ( ... )

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elanurel October 16 2006, 21:54:57 UTC
The kick-assedness is all you guys, man. Seriously. I'd be all over the place otherwise.

I think they should both end up in embarrassing nightwear. Possibly with attached feet, but then I'm mean and feeling sorry for poor, ganged up on Sam :D

My eyes! The image is now scarred into my retinas, and I didn't even get the benefit of picturing it in claymation first. Oy!

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cjtremlett October 16 2006, 00:34:40 UTC
This seems to be hitting stride nicely. The one question I had is: how does Charlotte feel about being called Charlie? I know she's reacted to some of the various nicknames that have come around, but how does she feel about Charlie? I get the feeling that different sides of her are coming out now that she's away from the Circle and academia and all of that. In which case, is she going to begin to feel less comfortable being called Charlotte?

Nice balance in this. I generally don't like fanfic. Even well-written fanfic. Part of it could be because I haven't watched the show. But this is nice, and this chapter even makes me like Dean a bit.

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elanurel October 16 2006, 03:57:49 UTC
Thank you!

The one question I had is: how does Charlotte feel about being called Charlie?

A very important question. I actually have a scene planned in the current case (Madison, GA) section where she talks about being called Charlie, and what it means to her. And there are a couple other scenes down the road. At this point, she still very much views herself as Charlotte, much the same way I always had to be called Jennifer. (Remember: Don't call me Jenny! ;-P) But since I go more by Branni, perhaps Charlotte will learn that same lesson.

But this is nice, and this chapter even makes me like Dean a bit.

Woo-hoo! I mean, my inner Dean Girl is pleased that I can begin expressing his inner depths effectively so that someone without the benefit of the show can begin to like him. ;-P

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starpixie16 October 16 2006, 00:53:18 UTC
There's this angst all over the place, but I love how humor works itself in there at the most perfect moments.

"How do we ask her to stop?" Sam was looking out the window.

"We don't, Sammy. Girl likes to sing; she just can't..."

Oh my god, I had to laugh at that little exchange! :D

And I love the escalating prank war between Sam and Charlie. But then, who doesn't love a good prank war? ;P

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elanurel October 16 2006, 04:01:33 UTC
There's this angst all over the place, but I love how humor works itself in there at the most perfect moments.

Thank you! Although you're the second person to comment on it. I'm setting the world up for Armageddon, and the Winchesters are cracking jokes all the way there.

Actually, that sounds a lot like what they'd actually do...

I did figure the music geek in Dean wouldn't want Charlie to stop singing, even if she can't. I think he's a smart enough boy to figure out now that music is as important to her as it is to him.

And I love the escalating prank war between Sam and Charlie. But then, who doesn't love a good prank war? ;P

The big question is: will they drag Dean in? And will it be kicking and screaming? (OK, that was two questions...)

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starpixie16 October 16 2006, 22:59:35 UTC
Actually, that sounds a lot like what they'd actually do...

I have to say I agree with that. No matter how serious the situation, I think the Winchesters can always manage to crack a few jokes.

And I can definitely imagine them dragging Dean into the prank war. Especially if he gets caught in the crossfire! (Like sitting on a toilet seat covered with ketchup that was meant for Sam! *lol*)

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elanurel October 16 2006, 23:41:58 UTC
I have to say I agree with that. No matter how serious the situation, I think the Winchesters can always manage to crack a few jokes.

I win at life! ;-) Hey, you were with me on Dean and the picture he took of Sam. I was worried that people might think it was too crude but I still maintain it was in character.

And I can definitely imagine them dragging Dean into the prank war. Especially if he gets caught in the crossfire!

I will simply say this: Dean may come to rue those final words he made to Charlotte Webb, for she does not easily forget those types of challenges. ;-P

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