So much for all the prayers you've learned

[x_strangeangels]

So much for all the prayers you've learned

Word Count:  1300
Pairings:  None
Rating:  PG-13
Feedback: Absolutely. Concrit is always welcome.
Disclaimer:  The Winchester boys aren't mine but I'd make Dean wear his boots all of the time if they were.
Spoilers/Warnings:  None.
A/N: This was written for the Women of Supernatural Flashfic

Comments

[sylvanwitch]

This story has a really smooth parallel structure that leads us along, expecting a yet-more-painful moral to each of the parts but unable to look away or stop reading. You make us complicit in our own sorrow here, and I love that. The structure is powerful.

I also love the characterization, the way you use gesture (like Lily reaching for her gun when Tessa arrives) to define character.

There's something almost dream-like in the quality of the visual images, something like quick-cut shots in a film, perhaps, to the transitions--that lends to the headlong plunge of the reader toward the conclusion, as well.

Anyway, excellent work, very thoughtful, very compelling. Bravo!

[elanurel]

Oh wow! Thank you so much for such lovely feedback.

I was particularly worried about this piece, specifically the structure, so I'm thrilled that it worked. ;-P

[pheebs1]

"They still glitter at parties and shine for new people and, even on the nights when the moon hides behind the clouds, the only time they remember the crimson-drenched shadow is when it flutters on the backs of their eyelids. They are the lucky ones, the girls who only die in their dreams." Lovely visual line - and loved the feel & atmosphere of this piece all through. Thank you for joining in!

[elanurel]

*twirls you*

The prompt was very inspiring. Thank you for being one of the sponsors of the challenge. ;-P

[1aquaesulis76]

This was gorgeous. I'm still processing, but I thought that a small 'yay' would bt better than silence. So thanks for sharing, and for writing such an amazing and thoughtful fic

[elanurel]

Thank you so much! I appreciate the feedback. ;-P

[spankulert]

You do an excellent job in building atmosphere in this, and the characters shine through their actions. Thanks for sharing!

[elanurel]

Thank you so much! I'm thrilled that you liked the atmosphere and the characterization.

[amethyste5]

A shatteringly beautiful piece, and yet, at the end I feel hope. Through the pain and the blood comes one who won't be a victim, and that is the most powerful choice of all.

[elanurel]

*smishes*

Through the pain and the blood comes one who won't be a victim, and that is the most powerful choice of all.

The story really was (in my mind, so you know how that goes) as much about Tessa as it was about Lily. And that underlying thread is one of the driving arcs of Tessa's story.