Sharp Dressed Man

[x_strangeangels]

Sharp Dressed Man

Word Count:  4840
Overall Pairings:   Dean/OFCs (HET)
Rating:  NC-17 (Language, Sex)
Beta(s):  The lovely embroiderama once again let me spam her with IM and reassured me that, despite some of the crappier stuff going on in my life, my porn fu was strong.  Everything that rocks in this piece is because of her.  The mistakes?  Those are all

Comments

[hhhellcat]

LMFAO Sometimes I think your author's notes crack me up more than the actual fics....

Seriously hot smut interspersed by awww, poor Dean moments. And “You ever try explaining to your dad why you’re washing a pair of purple tights in the motel room sink?” is definitely going down as another of your immortal lines. *giggles*

[elanurel]

I was worried that the three weeks of pulmonary hell hadn't affected the porn muse too much but I thought it was a neat way to frame the story - a little off from how I usually write but, what the hell, I can always say that I'm sick. ;-P

I really wanted Dean to be a little vulnerable before he hits his stride with Drama!Girl. (Is it bad that I have an OFC without a name?)

"You ever try explaining to your dad why you’re washing a pair of purple tights in the motel room sink?”

That was, in fact, the line I was referring to when I mentioned it in my other journal. ;-P

[hhhellcat]

Actually breaking up the smut bits with the story leans a depth of intimacy that you don't always see with these two even though you know its there. It was a nice way to handle the telling of the tale, too.

No, it's not bad that your OC didn't have a name -- she didn't need one for the story's purpose here.

LOL, I wasn't sure if that was the line or not, but it really stood out to me. Had me giggling aloud and everything just imagining it. Oh the look on John's face....

[elanurel]

Actually breaking up the smut bits with the story leans a depth of intimacy that you don't always see with these two even though you know its there.

Excellent. I was hoping that's the effect that it would have, splitting up everything up like that. I really wanted to show a snapshot of how they might act when it's just the two of them, and I think they've reached the point in their relationship where things get "real." I thought it was a good way to show intimacy without going into all of the details of their relationship.

No, it's not bad that your OC didn't have a name -- she didn't need one for the story's purpose here.

Probably not, but I think she had more personality than her younger sister... ;-P

And, yep, that was indeed the line in question...

[starpixie16]

I loved the structure of this with Dean recounting his moment of humiliation to Charlie. You know he's crazy for her if he's willing to divulge a story that involves him dressing in tights. ;P

...exiting out from the other side just in time to see Betty Lou Perkins’ throwing her arms around some dude in a football player’s outfit, tangling tongues under the bright spotlights from the stands.

Aww, Dean...

He leaned forward, hands on her hips, and her entire body stiffened. The hair on her neck prickled underneath his smile.

Let’s get even.

Dean getting his revenge was of the truly awesome. And with the cheerleader's sister no less!

Also, the smut was absolute hotness... ;)

[elanurel]

I loved the structure of this with Dean recounting his moment of humiliation to Charlie. You know he's crazy for her if he's willing to divulge a story that involves him dressing in tights. ;P

Thank you! I had my worries that it wouldn't work - framing what is essentially a Teen!Chesters story within a much larger framework - without reference to the 'verse. OTOH, I did think it was accessible to anyone who's never read the rest of the 'verse in that it established a sense of intimacy between Dean and the person he was telling the story to... At least, that's how I'm hoping that it worked out.

Dean getting his revenge was of the truly awesome. And with the cheerleader's sister no less!

I felt badly for not giving Drama!Girl a name. I thought she had more personality in what little we saw of her than her sister.

Also, the smut was absolute hotness... ;)One does one's best... ;-P

[elanurel]

I just used my standard icon. ;-P

Well...I think Dean might not have been as suave with the chicks in high school...and I confess I was working under a Dorky!Dean premise. The backstory with Betty was that she was using Dean to get Todd jealous - knowing that Todd was supposed to take her sister to the dance. Dean just got caught up in the middle of it with one of the most ridiculous requests ever to drive a young boy and his hormones...

I'm glad it had people laughing. That was really my intention... The hotness was kind of a plus. I just miss writing Dean and Charlotte sometimes, and I thought him telling her a story was a nice trope.

[pheebs1]

Loved the structure of cutting forwards and backwards - worked so well. More this way please!

Do I look like the kind of girl who wears black nail polish?”

“Do I look like the kind of yahoo who goes commando in a kilt?”

She smiled against his mouth.

“You can leave your boots on.”

EXCELLENT! :)

[elanurel]

Loved the structure of cutting forwards and backwards - worked so well. More this way please!

I was actually worried about the back and forth but I thought it lent a nice intimacy to the "real" relationship the story was about.

And, I confess, I wanted to write a Dorky!Dean story without sacrificing too much of his manhood in the process. Doing that from the perspective of him being a teenager seemed the best way to do that.

[pheebs1]

I think it added a real level of intimacy - I really loved that aspect of it. Gave the teen story more depth too, seeing it from this adult's Dean's eyes.

[elanurel]

I'm glad. I don't often get to show how close they are during the actual story... I wanted to show that it isn't entirely about sex when it comes to their relationship. I thought by framing the more, er, intimate scenes with the story and their conversation throughout the whole thing, I could make it less straight PWP and more something I would write, you know?

sharp dressed

[quirkies]

holy chupacabra, that was good! :D
loved the structure - the story telling as another layer of intimacy in the sexin'. you achieved a dangerous level of hotness. enjoyed it muchly.

Re: sharp dressed

[elanurel]

oved the structure - the story telling as another layer of intimacy in the sexin'.

Thanks. That's exactly what I was hoping to achieve (apart from writing something with porn to cheer myself up) - that the framing of how I told the story would add a dimension of familiarity between the two main characters.