Submission #31 -- Volantis, "How Soon in Now?"
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Title: How Soon in Now?
User ID: Volantis
Rating: R
Characters: S/S
Warnings: Angst.
Summary: ‘Subaru is dying and it feels glorious.’
Da-Dum
The wind is screaming, although he doesn’t hear it against the beat of his heart in his ears. Blood is forming new veins in the soil as it spills from his pale thin body, making its way to the hungry roots. He finds in fascinating to watch the beautiful crimson colour, staining the rich wool of his suit and transforming the white coat into such a familiar scarlet.
He can feel the blood pulling out of his chest, and it’s choking him, like a desperate kiss on his lips. His fingers are slightly clenched, blankly clinging to an empty world, and his heart is pulling stronger with every beat, forced to work too hard to make blood move forward. Greyness is forming around his visions and the same blurriness is overwhelming. Nothing seems connected anymore.
Subaru is dying and it feels glorious.
Da-Dum
Large strong hands are shaking him, a voice is screaming his name… such a familiar voice … but the words are polluted with the sounds of fear and despair. The pull of blood from his body feels so comforting and vaguely his mind notes that the liquid is warm over cooling skin. A nonchalant smile would be on his lips, if he had the strength to make the muscles work.
He wonders if he’ll see his sister… his grandmother…
Da-Dum
Seishirou is shaking the man by the tree. Terror is gripping the older man, his heart is also beating faster but for completely different reason.
“Subaru.” He calls in a commanding voice. But the younger man stares straight through him, glassy eyes twinkling with a joke that may never be told.
“ Subaru.” Dropped almost to a whisper as the older man holds his once enemy, once killer, once lover to his chest, “…what have you done…” Its been ten years since the older man’s ability to feel returned, but he still finds it suffocating.
***
Subaru still remembers the first time he killed as Sakurazukamori. The screaming in his ears had become too much, it’s pulling hunger overwhelming his thoughts. It did not hate with purpose, instead it is the result of being fed with malice filled blood; from the sins of criminals, from the fear of victims. It had been one month before the final day and his is heart was already empty. And it has been so easy, a life lost to the world.
He had started laughing, he got it, it all made sense, he brushed lips against the rough bark of the tree, suddenly it all made sense. He dropped to his knees and rested his head against the tree. His laughter continued, making his whole frame shake.
With blood on his hands, it all made sense now. Seishirou’s gift. Subaru could feel the roots of sakura taking hold in his heart. Could feel a numbness flowing through his body. His laughter seemed to rattle the pink petals falling around him.
It was the past that didn’t.
***
The wheelchair bound woman is waiting at the Tree.
She turns and takes a sharp gasp of air as the young man arrives, holding a lifeless form draped over his arms. He walks with nonchalant steps, carelessly discarding the body to the cold ground. Their eyes meet to the briefest of seconds and she no longer sees the sorrow that had his soul since his sister’s death, they are empty.
“Why-“
Her question is cut suddenly short, Subaru has realized he doesn’t care to explain.
As he walks away he thinks that the tree won’t be screaming in his ears for many weeks
***
Subaru remembers seeing the Kansai boy from a distance, it has been three month since the final battle. Vaguely he thinks he should start walking in another direction.
The Kansai boy greats him with joy and enthusiasm that Subaru doesn’t care to match.
He is explaining about Karen and Seichirou and Yuzuriha and…. Subaru is only caring to listen to every other word young man with spiky hairs is telling of reincarnation and revival. How fate seemed to have a kind streak, after the fact.
Fate, he can only think, is a bitch.
***
The first thing he feels is sharp coldness, as rain bites against his exposed skin.
The second thing he feels is warmth, he remembers whispering words of love into Subaru’s ear as he falls to the ground, his life’s blood spilling onto the bridges surface.
The third thing he feels is dread, not for the fact he was alive and very naked in a dark alley, or even that he could no longer feel the tree that had been a part of his soul, its roots winding throughout his heart, forming an almost impenetrable cage. It was dread, because the feelings that had been on the edges on his consciousness since he met a young boy, were now able to take a grip on his soul.
He wonders if this is what his young lover had felt. He thinks of the look on Subaru’s face as he says those words and supposes it is. A strange pull to his chest tugs at his chest and while he didn’t understand what this new emotion is yet, he starts to examine the feeling, and it leaves him objectively wonders what his death would have done to the already fragile young man. The pull of the emotion strengthens and he notes that his stomach feels like its falling, he wonders if maybe the glass has been inadvertently broken.
Suddenly the emotion dawns on him and he starts to get to his feet.
He starts to feel sick, this is guilt.
***
From a distance, the tree looks healthy, he doesn’t know if this is a good thing or bad thing, most of Tokyo is torn to pieces, but Ueon Park, like Tokyo Tower, has managed to remain unscathed. The city has already started repairing itself. Its Tokyo after all, it would be naïve to think that it would even remain desolate for one day. The answer to who won seems simple from the existence of the city itself.
He doesn’t care.
He had hoped to find an answer by the tree, but it’s still silent. The new emotions still fill the expanse that the tree had once occupied in his soul.
As he turns to leave a familiar invisible form is watching him from the branches, wrapped in blossoms.
Seishirou’s heart skips a beat and his face lights up with its first smile.
***
Running his lips gently over the back of naked hands, his soft breath caressing the skin between tender kisses. The others hands smell coppery, it seems to alien yet so attractive, the most expensive perfumes.
Those hands that now take life….
“This isn’t right.” Seishirou states suddenly.
His lover silently agrees.
***
He doesn’t care about the voice that has now started screaming at him. It would almost be a revelation but he doesn’t have the chance to make it.
Da-Dum
The knife that had worked so effectively on his wrists has already falling to the ground, the blood his final offering to his once-loves gift. Over the last ten years what little of his sanity and emotions had also been fed to the tree, piece by piece with every new body and now he was giving his final offering. A chuckle escapes his lips although it manifests as a sick cough and spasm of his body.
Da
He looks up at the man hovering over him, full of emotions and for a second it consumed by the same confusion that has plagued him for the last ten year.
Ten years on, he vaguely remembers words once whispered to him about the meaning of love.
But right now all he can think about his the nothingness.
Dum
“Why?” Seishirou asks, oddly echoing the boy’s grandmother.
The honey gold eyes Subaru looks into are unrecognizable, so filled with emotions. Subaru wasn’t certain if he had lost the strength to keep his eyes open or if it was his vision itself that was fading.
This was not the man he had loved. The last ten years with him had only served to opening the wound further.
Da
Subaru had become overwhelmingly empty…
His voice, deaf to his own ears, weakly answers “… people do evil things-“
But his heart has lost its battle to beat.
Title: How Soon in Now?
User ID: Volantis
Rating: R
Characters: S/S
Warnings: Angst.
Summary: ‘Subaru is dying and it feels glorious.’
Da-Dum
The wind is screaming, although he doesn’t hear it against the beat of his heart in his ears. Blood is forming new veins in the soil as it spills from his pale thin body, making its way to the hungry roots. He finds in fascinating to watch the beautiful crimson colour, staining the rich wool of his suit and transforming the white coat into such a familiar scarlet.
He can feel the blood pulling out of his chest, and it’s choking him, like a desperate kiss on his lips. His fingers are slightly clenched, blankly clinging to an empty world, and his heart is pulling stronger with every beat, forced to work too hard to make blood move forward. Greyness is forming around his visions and the same blurriness is overwhelming. Nothing seems connected anymore.
Subaru is dying and it feels glorious.
Da-Dum
Large strong hands are shaking him, a voice is screaming his name… such a familiar voice … but the words are polluted with the sounds of fear and despair. The pull of blood from his body feels so comforting and vaguely his mind notes that the liquid is warm over cooling skin. A nonchalant smile would be on his lips, if he had the strength to make the muscles work.
He wonders if he’ll see his sister… his grandmother…
Da-Dum
Seishirou is shaking the man by the tree. Terror is gripping the older man, his heart is also beating faster but for completely different reason.
“Subaru.” He calls in a commanding voice. But the younger man stares straight through him, glassy eyes twinkling with a joke that may never be told.
“ Subaru.” Dropped almost to a whisper as the older man holds his once enemy, once killer, once lover to his chest, “…what have you done…” Its been ten years since the older man’s ability to feel returned, but he still finds it suffocating.
***
Subaru still remembers the first time he killed as Sakurazukamori. The screaming in his ears had become too much, it’s pulling hunger overwhelming his thoughts. It did not hate with purpose, instead it is the result of being fed with malice filled blood; from the sins of criminals, from the fear of victims. It had been one month before the final day and his is heart was already empty. And it has been so easy, a life lost to the world.
He had started laughing, he got it, it all made sense, he brushed lips against the rough bark of the tree, suddenly it all made sense. He dropped to his knees and rested his head against the tree. His laughter continued, making his whole frame shake.
With blood on his hands, it all made sense now. Seishirou’s gift. Subaru could feel the roots of sakura taking hold in his heart. Could feel a numbness flowing through his body. His laughter seemed to rattle the pink petals falling around him.
It was the past that didn’t.
***
The wheelchair bound woman is waiting at the Tree.
She turns and takes a sharp gasp of air as the young man arrives, holding a lifeless form draped over his arms. He walks with nonchalant steps, carelessly discarding the body to the cold ground. Their eyes meet to the briefest of seconds and she no longer sees the sorrow that had his soul since his sister’s death, they are empty.
“Why-“
Her question is cut suddenly short, Subaru has realized he doesn’t care to explain.
As he walks away he thinks that the tree won’t be screaming in his ears for many weeks
***
Subaru remembers seeing the Kansai boy from a distance, it has been three month since the final battle. Vaguely he thinks he should start walking in another direction.
The Kansai boy greats him with joy and enthusiasm that Subaru doesn’t care to match.
He is explaining about Karen and Seichirou and Yuzuriha and…. Subaru is only caring to listen to every other word young man with spiky hairs is telling of reincarnation and revival. How fate seemed to have a kind streak, after the fact.
Fate, he can only think, is a bitch.
***
The first thing he feels is sharp coldness, as rain bites against his exposed skin.
The second thing he feels is warmth, he remembers whispering words of love into Subaru’s ear as he falls to the ground, his life’s blood spilling onto the bridges surface.
The third thing he feels is dread, not for the fact he was alive and very naked in a dark alley, or even that he could no longer feel the tree that had been a part of his soul, its roots winding throughout his heart, forming an almost impenetrable cage. It was dread, because the feelings that had been on the edges on his consciousness since he met a young boy, were now able to take a grip on his soul.
He wonders if this is what his young lover had felt. He thinks of the look on Subaru’s face as he says those words and supposes it is. A strange pull to his chest tugs at his chest and while he didn’t understand what this new emotion is yet, he starts to examine the feeling, and it leaves him objectively wonders what his death would have done to the already fragile young man. The pull of the emotion strengthens and he notes that his stomach feels like its falling, he wonders if maybe the glass has been inadvertently broken.
Suddenly the emotion dawns on him and he starts to get to his feet.
He starts to feel sick, this is guilt.
***
From a distance, the tree looks healthy, he doesn’t know if this is a good thing or bad thing, most of Tokyo is torn to pieces, but Ueon Park, like Tokyo Tower, has managed to remain unscathed. The city has already started repairing itself. Its Tokyo after all, it would be naïve to think that it would even remain desolate for one day. The answer to who won seems simple from the existence of the city itself.
He doesn’t care.
He had hoped to find an answer by the tree, but it’s still silent. The new emotions still fill the expanse that the tree had once occupied in his soul.
As he turns to leave a familiar invisible form is watching him from the branches, wrapped in blossoms.
Seishirou’s heart skips a beat and his face lights up with its first smile.
***
Running his lips gently over the back of naked hands, his soft breath caressing the skin between tender kisses. The others hands smell coppery, it seems to alien yet so attractive, the most expensive perfumes.
Those hands that now take life….
“This isn’t right.” Seishirou states suddenly.
His lover silently agrees.
***
He doesn’t care about the voice that has now started screaming at him. It would almost be a revelation but he doesn’t have the chance to make it.
Da-Dum
The knife that had worked so effectively on his wrists has already falling to the ground, the blood his final offering to his once-loves gift. Over the last ten years what little of his sanity and emotions had also been fed to the tree, piece by piece with every new body and now he was giving his final offering. A chuckle escapes his lips although it manifests as a sick cough and spasm of his body.
Da
He looks up at the man hovering over him, full of emotions and for a second it consumed by the same confusion that has plagued him for the last ten year.
Ten years on, he vaguely remembers words once whispered to him about the meaning of love.
But right now all he can think about his the nothingness.
Dum
“Why?” Seishirou asks, oddly echoing the boy’s grandmother.
The honey gold eyes Subaru looks into are unrecognizable, so filled with emotions. Subaru wasn’t certain if he had lost the strength to keep his eyes open or if it was his vision itself that was fading.
This was not the man he had loved. The last ten years with him had only served to opening the wound further.
Da
Subaru had become overwhelmingly empty…
His voice, deaf to his own ears, weakly answers “… people do evil things-“
But his heart has lost its battle to beat.