this should be nothing; yoosu
this should be nothing
(to a love like what we've got)
yoosu; pg; 727 words -- lack of caps & quotation marks
you're yelling at him, because he won't listen, but he doesn't want to listen. you wish he would listen. junsu! junsu, talk to me! why won't you talk to me? you just want to touch him so badly at times like this. but you can't. because you might hurt him. he's just as angry. he'll lock himself in the bathroom so the two of you could scream yourselves hoarse. junsu, open this fucking door! and fuck you, yoochun! i fucking hate you, i hate you! your heart drops when you hear him drop to the floor. he's crying, you realize, and it's enough to make you cry. he speaks softer now, in between muted sobs, i hate you, yoochun. i hate you so much. palms and an ear pressed against the door, you listen in but your pride won't let you say sorry. you've never seen junsu cry. why would i let some asshole know he can make me cry, he once said. you slide down the door and end up lying on the floor, ear pressed to the crack under the door. your junsu. your junsu is crying and you can't do a thing about it because he won't let you.
and then you're standing up, fists pounding on the door. junsu! junsu! junsu! you yell his name like a madman, growing louder, harsher. you don't even remember why you're mad anymore. all you know is he's a fucking idiot for not opening the door. you punch it, sting on your knuckles as you drag yourself to the living room, collasping onto a couch. you feel exhausted and you tilt your head back, closing your eyes, wishing things would just be okay again.
he comes out a few minutes later. they've felt like hours and you didn't even know you were waiting until he sits down on the couch to your left, staring at at you. through you, you would say is more accurate.you wonder what he's thinking, what he's hiding. for once, you find yourself scared to speak. hell, maybe you've scared him. tell me what you're thinking, you want to say, let me fix this. maybe that's the thing with junsu, he doesn't want to be fixed -- not by you at least. he thinks he can fix himself.
junsu mirrors your stance, spread out on the couch, his hand coming up to smooth the tension in his brows. yoochun, he whispers, just make it stop. you look at him, asking if he's serious, only he doesn't look at you. junsu, tell me you're joking.
i just want it to stop.
tell me what you want, junsu! what do you want from me?
he walks out on you, to your bedroom. you're tempted not to follow, but you don't do that. go to sleep angry. well, you do. but you don't like it. he knows that.
maybe that's why he keeps the door open. you want to think it's for you, so you can come in and tell him you love him, and tell him that maybe you're as sorry as he is and maybe neither of you will have to say it unless you want to. you crawl into bed, over the sheets like he is. much to your surprise, he's facing you, face half squished into the pillow.
hey junsu, you whisper, junsu. c-can we make up already?
you watch him, waiting for an answer that never comes.
and then he cries. you've never seen him cry. he's crying, he crying. you've never seen him cry.
you've never seen him cry.
junsu-
yoochun. yoochun. we shouldn't have gone to bed angry. i'm sorry. i'm so sorry, yoochun.
and for a second, you're frozen, trying to take in this sight of him. you hesitate before reaching out, wanting to smooth his tears away.
when you go through him.
yoochun, yoochun, he sobs. yoochun, i miss you.
yesterday comes back in a flash.
yoochun. it hurts, how broken he sounds.
you try to touch him. you want to touch him, need to so badly. junsu. junsu. junsu, i'm right here.
i'm sorry, yoochun. just come back, i said i'm sorry.
you yell, scream and he doesn't even move. he can't hear you. junsu. you stupid. i'm sorry. baby, i'm sorry.
for the first time, you get to see junsu cry himself to sleep.
(to a love like what we've got)
yoosu; pg; 727 words -- lack of caps & quotation marks
you're yelling at him, because he won't listen, but he doesn't want to listen. you wish he would listen. junsu! junsu, talk to me! why won't you talk to me? you just want to touch him so badly at times like this. but you can't. because you might hurt him. he's just as angry. he'll lock himself in the bathroom so the two of you could scream yourselves hoarse. junsu, open this fucking door! and fuck you, yoochun! i fucking hate you, i hate you! your heart drops when you hear him drop to the floor. he's crying, you realize, and it's enough to make you cry. he speaks softer now, in between muted sobs, i hate you, yoochun. i hate you so much. palms and an ear pressed against the door, you listen in but your pride won't let you say sorry. you've never seen junsu cry. why would i let some asshole know he can make me cry, he once said. you slide down the door and end up lying on the floor, ear pressed to the crack under the door. your junsu. your junsu is crying and you can't do a thing about it because he won't let you.
and then you're standing up, fists pounding on the door. junsu! junsu! junsu! you yell his name like a madman, growing louder, harsher. you don't even remember why you're mad anymore. all you know is he's a fucking idiot for not opening the door. you punch it, sting on your knuckles as you drag yourself to the living room, collasping onto a couch. you feel exhausted and you tilt your head back, closing your eyes, wishing things would just be okay again.
he comes out a few minutes later. they've felt like hours and you didn't even know you were waiting until he sits down on the couch to your left, staring at at you. through you, you would say is more accurate.you wonder what he's thinking, what he's hiding. for once, you find yourself scared to speak. hell, maybe you've scared him. tell me what you're thinking, you want to say, let me fix this. maybe that's the thing with junsu, he doesn't want to be fixed -- not by you at least. he thinks he can fix himself.
junsu mirrors your stance, spread out on the couch, his hand coming up to smooth the tension in his brows. yoochun, he whispers, just make it stop. you look at him, asking if he's serious, only he doesn't look at you. junsu, tell me you're joking.
i just want it to stop.
tell me what you want, junsu! what do you want from me?
he walks out on you, to your bedroom. you're tempted not to follow, but you don't do that. go to sleep angry. well, you do. but you don't like it. he knows that.
maybe that's why he keeps the door open. you want to think it's for you, so you can come in and tell him you love him, and tell him that maybe you're as sorry as he is and maybe neither of you will have to say it unless you want to. you crawl into bed, over the sheets like he is. much to your surprise, he's facing you, face half squished into the pillow.
hey junsu, you whisper, junsu. c-can we make up already?
you watch him, waiting for an answer that never comes.
and then he cries. you've never seen him cry. he's crying, he crying. you've never seen him cry.
you've never seen him cry.
junsu-
yoochun. yoochun. we shouldn't have gone to bed angry. i'm sorry. i'm so sorry, yoochun.
and for a second, you're frozen, trying to take in this sight of him. you hesitate before reaching out, wanting to smooth his tears away.
when you go through him.
yoochun, yoochun, he sobs. yoochun, i miss you.
yesterday comes back in a flash.
yoochun. it hurts, how broken he sounds.
you try to touch him. you want to touch him, need to so badly. junsu. junsu. junsu, i'm right here.
i'm sorry, yoochun. just come back, i said i'm sorry.
you yell, scream and he doesn't even move. he can't hear you. junsu. you stupid. i'm sorry. baby, i'm sorry.
for the first time, you get to see junsu cry himself to sleep.