(no subject)
Title: What's Mine?
Author: Meh Jess. x_tired_crazy_x
Summary: "I'm sorry Benji, I love you, but you're not mine anymore..." His scared face turns into a confused one. I move up to him and kiss his cheek. "I'm sorry, but we're over..." Joel may think it's over, but its not.
Dedication: To Rachel. Without her, I wouldn't exist.
Disclaimer: Not real, never happened. I'm making this up.
Notes: Thanks to everyone that reads this.. It means lots.
Add me and I'll get you back. I'm nice. A comment to let me know is also nice. Much Love!
PREVIOUS CHAPTERS HERE!
When my mother greets us, it’s with open arms. She opens the door and throws herself on Benji hugging him with all she can muster before she does the same to me.
“My beautiful boys!” she squeals with a warm smile. I look over and Benji is blushing profusely, not used to the positive attention from a parental figure. I don’t want to know what his mom would do if he showed up on her doorstep, but I know one thing… I don’t want to find out.
“Hey Ma,” I kiss her on the cheek.
“Well come inside, you two,” she backs away to the door and holds it open for us. Benji and I grab our luggage and carry them over the threshold of my mother’s house. Nothing has changed since the last time we were here and I get that warm feeling in the pit of my stomach that reminds me I’m home. Benji’s eyes are scanning the place, warily and I wonder what he’s thinking.
“I’m so excited, you’re getting married,” Mom says with wonder in her voice. She’s so excited, even more so that the ceremony is going to take place in her own backyard. It brings new grounds to the term, ‘Momma’s Boy,’ I know. When I first told her over the phone, it took hours for her to stop crying. 'Her little boy suddenly growing up so fast.'
If I was getting married to anyone else, I couldn't see her as excited as she is, but Benji is perfect. I’d said this so many times before, but we were made for each other. Like yin and yang. Opposites, but when conjoined, slide into place like it’s where we belong… it is where we belong.
My mother takes a step away from the two of us and sighs, clapping her hands together. “I’m so happy for you,” she declares, her voice genuine and motherly. I love her.
“Thanks Ms. Combs,” Benji mumbles, and I can see white knuckles gripping the handle of his luggage.
“Thanks Ma,” I echo him, not letting the concern reach my voice just yet.
“Do you mind if we put our things down in my room?” I ask her, not knowing if she has plans for us. Sometimes she’s like that.
“Go ahead… I’m going to call the boys over for dinner. Is that okay with you guys?” she asks seemingly elated with joy.
I look over to Benji who shrugs. “I don’t care; I haven’t talked with Tony in forever.”
The statement throws me off for a moment. I forgot how abruptly Benji dropped everything with everyone to come with me to New York. It blows my mind.
“Sounds good to me,” I smile and mom excitedly walks to the kitchen and soon after I hear her dialing numbers on the phone.
Benji and I head towards my bedroom with our luggage. I open the door and step inside my sanctuary. Benji follows me, and stands in the door way while I roll my bag so it rests on the wall and fall on my bed.
“Tired much?” he asks with a smile, but there’s something in his voice that just doesn’t sound happy.
“Babe, what’s wrong?”
At first Benji seems thrown off by my question, but I can read his eyes when they connect with mine and I realize he’s not totally surprised.
He looks down at his shoes, then back up to me before dejectedly pushing his bag away from his body and letting it fall on its side.
“It’s weird being home… after everything,” he admits. He comes over to me and sits on my bed. I sit up and place and hand on his shoulder to show that I care and I’m listening.
“It doesn’t feel like home anymore, but I know it is and it just depresses me.” He pauses and licks his lips, calculating his words. “I feel like I have no one in this world besides you and your mother and being home, being here just reminds me of what a failure I am…”
I can’t let him go on after that. I have to intervene.
“Don’t even say that Benji. You are nowhere near a failure.” I tell him. “And this is home. It’s your hometown… it’s where we met and grew up together. It’s where we fell in love… where we got back together.”
Benji’s lips curl slightly at my words and a warm feeling erupts from my heart and spreads to my fingertips and toes. I love making him smile.
“You know that saying? That home is where your heart is,” Benji asks. I nod. “Well I’m always home,” he says looking up at me and drawing my eyes to his. “As long as I’m with you…”
The smile that covers my face is of epic proportions and I can’t help but move in and press my lips against his in a chaste but tender kiss.
“You say the most romantic things sometimes, you kill me,” I whisper against his lips. He smiles at me.
“You make me say them,” is his simple reply. I laugh and pull him fully on my bed so we’re lying down together on my unused comforters and barely used pillows.
We cuddle together in silence. We’ve been doing this a lot lately. We’re pathetically beyond the need to fill the time we spend together in with words. It’s not boring silence either. It’s content and fulfilling.
It’s nice.
Benji’s Point of View
“Benny boy!” Tony envelops me in a hug and it really does catch me off guard.
“Hey man,” I can’t help but smile. Suddenly it hits me how much I missed my asshole of a best friend.
“Don’t you ever go this long again without seeing me! I actually started to miss you’re scrawny ass,” my best friend bitches, pulling out of the hug and shaking my shoulders.
“Jesus, okay. Calm down,” I beg him, lifting his hands off my shoulders and dropping them so they fall back by his sides.
“Wanna go out for a smoke? Catch up a little?” Tony is already heading for the back door before I even give him my answer. But he knows it’s a yes. It kills me how excited I am just to see him. I actually want to talk to him.
I look over to Joel who in the middle of a conversation with Aaron and Tyler. Tyler is all feminine wrist flicks while Aaron is a ‘man’s man.’ Watching the three of them talk reminds me vaguely of a circus act.
“Yeah, let’s go,” I follow him out the back into the yard that I haven’t stepped foot on in years.
I pat myself down noticing that I left my cigs inside, but Tony is something like 10 steps ahead of me and already has two lit. One for himself and me.
“Thanks Tone,” I smile at him, accepting it and inhaling the nicotine and satisfying my addiction.
“No problem Benj… so tell me, how the fuck did this whole thing just happen?”
I can’t help but laugh because it’s so strange.
“I’m serious man! The only way I kept up on your life was from tabloids. Now that’s pathetic,” Tony shoots at me and a lighthearted conversation turns sour. “Especially considering we’re supposed to be best friends!”
I feel like I just got sliced open.
“I’m… I’m sorry, man,” I say, like it would help. Tony doesn’t look mad, just… hurt and it kills me.
“Why didn’t you call at least?” Tony asks. It’s weird seeing his vulnerable side. I’m not used to it… my brain has to adjust.
“I… I never thought about it. I just wanted to forget and I had the perfect opportunity to start over, and I needed that Tony. You’ve got to understand,” I try to explain unsure of how I’m going to come off to him.
Tony silently inhales his cigarette and breathes out. I follow suit, flicking my ashes in the yard.
“I understand that Benj. I just…”
“I didn’t mean for it to seem like I was starting over without you… Tony, you’ve only been a good friend to me. I’d be crazy to not want you in my life.”
Tony smiles at me and then bursts out laughing. The sound of it makes me smile wide.
“Benji, you’re a sap!”
“Screw you,” I glare at him. He flicks his cig and stares at me for a long moment.
“You look so much better, Benji. I can’t even explain it.”
I furrow my brow. “What do you mean?”
“The way you carry yourself, your clothes, your eyes; you’re so relaxed and mellowed out. I haven’t seen you like this since high school,” Tony rambles. “I’m so happy for you.”
I blush crimson and look down at the grass. I understand that this is him accepting my apology in his own way.
“Thanks Tony.”
We continue smoking our cigarettes and start talking about what we’ve been up to since the last time we talked. After we’ve smoked the majority of his pack we start heading back inside, nearly two hours after we left. Right before we reach the door an idea strikes my brain.
“Tony, Joel wants us both to talk down the isle and I was wondering… would you walk me down the isle? You totally already know you’re my best man.”
Tony tilts his head to the side, eyeing me with curiosity.
“Like brothers?” he questions with friendly, squinty eyes. You have to know him to know the look.
“Always, you’re my only family outside of Joel,” I admit and his eyes flash sadness before they turn almost tearful.
“I’d be honored, my friend.”
Please Complete this poll. I realize that if you use Internet Explorer, the format of my righting with this layout is severely fucked up, but if you use Firefox, it looks normal.
Please review! Every review counts to me and gives me a warm gooey feeling on the inside.
Always! Thanks for reading! -Jess
Author: Meh Jess. x_tired_crazy_x
Summary: "I'm sorry Benji, I love you, but you're not mine anymore..." His scared face turns into a confused one. I move up to him and kiss his cheek. "I'm sorry, but we're over..." Joel may think it's over, but its not.
Dedication: To Rachel. Without her, I wouldn't exist.
Disclaimer: Not real, never happened. I'm making this up.
Notes: Thanks to everyone that reads this.. It means lots.
Add me and I'll get you back. I'm nice. A comment to let me know is also nice. Much Love!
PREVIOUS CHAPTERS HERE!
When my mother greets us, it’s with open arms. She opens the door and throws herself on Benji hugging him with all she can muster before she does the same to me.
“My beautiful boys!” she squeals with a warm smile. I look over and Benji is blushing profusely, not used to the positive attention from a parental figure. I don’t want to know what his mom would do if he showed up on her doorstep, but I know one thing… I don’t want to find out.
“Hey Ma,” I kiss her on the cheek.
“Well come inside, you two,” she backs away to the door and holds it open for us. Benji and I grab our luggage and carry them over the threshold of my mother’s house. Nothing has changed since the last time we were here and I get that warm feeling in the pit of my stomach that reminds me I’m home. Benji’s eyes are scanning the place, warily and I wonder what he’s thinking.
“I’m so excited, you’re getting married,” Mom says with wonder in her voice. She’s so excited, even more so that the ceremony is going to take place in her own backyard. It brings new grounds to the term, ‘Momma’s Boy,’ I know. When I first told her over the phone, it took hours for her to stop crying. 'Her little boy suddenly growing up so fast.'
If I was getting married to anyone else, I couldn't see her as excited as she is, but Benji is perfect. I’d said this so many times before, but we were made for each other. Like yin and yang. Opposites, but when conjoined, slide into place like it’s where we belong… it is where we belong.
My mother takes a step away from the two of us and sighs, clapping her hands together. “I’m so happy for you,” she declares, her voice genuine and motherly. I love her.
“Thanks Ms. Combs,” Benji mumbles, and I can see white knuckles gripping the handle of his luggage.
“Thanks Ma,” I echo him, not letting the concern reach my voice just yet.
“Do you mind if we put our things down in my room?” I ask her, not knowing if she has plans for us. Sometimes she’s like that.
“Go ahead… I’m going to call the boys over for dinner. Is that okay with you guys?” she asks seemingly elated with joy.
I look over to Benji who shrugs. “I don’t care; I haven’t talked with Tony in forever.”
The statement throws me off for a moment. I forgot how abruptly Benji dropped everything with everyone to come with me to New York. It blows my mind.
“Sounds good to me,” I smile and mom excitedly walks to the kitchen and soon after I hear her dialing numbers on the phone.
Benji and I head towards my bedroom with our luggage. I open the door and step inside my sanctuary. Benji follows me, and stands in the door way while I roll my bag so it rests on the wall and fall on my bed.
“Tired much?” he asks with a smile, but there’s something in his voice that just doesn’t sound happy.
“Babe, what’s wrong?”
At first Benji seems thrown off by my question, but I can read his eyes when they connect with mine and I realize he’s not totally surprised.
He looks down at his shoes, then back up to me before dejectedly pushing his bag away from his body and letting it fall on its side.
“It’s weird being home… after everything,” he admits. He comes over to me and sits on my bed. I sit up and place and hand on his shoulder to show that I care and I’m listening.
“It doesn’t feel like home anymore, but I know it is and it just depresses me.” He pauses and licks his lips, calculating his words. “I feel like I have no one in this world besides you and your mother and being home, being here just reminds me of what a failure I am…”
I can’t let him go on after that. I have to intervene.
“Don’t even say that Benji. You are nowhere near a failure.” I tell him. “And this is home. It’s your hometown… it’s where we met and grew up together. It’s where we fell in love… where we got back together.”
Benji’s lips curl slightly at my words and a warm feeling erupts from my heart and spreads to my fingertips and toes. I love making him smile.
“You know that saying? That home is where your heart is,” Benji asks. I nod. “Well I’m always home,” he says looking up at me and drawing my eyes to his. “As long as I’m with you…”
The smile that covers my face is of epic proportions and I can’t help but move in and press my lips against his in a chaste but tender kiss.
“You say the most romantic things sometimes, you kill me,” I whisper against his lips. He smiles at me.
“You make me say them,” is his simple reply. I laugh and pull him fully on my bed so we’re lying down together on my unused comforters and barely used pillows.
We cuddle together in silence. We’ve been doing this a lot lately. We’re pathetically beyond the need to fill the time we spend together in with words. It’s not boring silence either. It’s content and fulfilling.
It’s nice.
Benji’s Point of View
“Benny boy!” Tony envelops me in a hug and it really does catch me off guard.
“Hey man,” I can’t help but smile. Suddenly it hits me how much I missed my asshole of a best friend.
“Don’t you ever go this long again without seeing me! I actually started to miss you’re scrawny ass,” my best friend bitches, pulling out of the hug and shaking my shoulders.
“Jesus, okay. Calm down,” I beg him, lifting his hands off my shoulders and dropping them so they fall back by his sides.
“Wanna go out for a smoke? Catch up a little?” Tony is already heading for the back door before I even give him my answer. But he knows it’s a yes. It kills me how excited I am just to see him. I actually want to talk to him.
I look over to Joel who in the middle of a conversation with Aaron and Tyler. Tyler is all feminine wrist flicks while Aaron is a ‘man’s man.’ Watching the three of them talk reminds me vaguely of a circus act.
“Yeah, let’s go,” I follow him out the back into the yard that I haven’t stepped foot on in years.
I pat myself down noticing that I left my cigs inside, but Tony is something like 10 steps ahead of me and already has two lit. One for himself and me.
“Thanks Tone,” I smile at him, accepting it and inhaling the nicotine and satisfying my addiction.
“No problem Benj… so tell me, how the fuck did this whole thing just happen?”
I can’t help but laugh because it’s so strange.
“I’m serious man! The only way I kept up on your life was from tabloids. Now that’s pathetic,” Tony shoots at me and a lighthearted conversation turns sour. “Especially considering we’re supposed to be best friends!”
I feel like I just got sliced open.
“I’m… I’m sorry, man,” I say, like it would help. Tony doesn’t look mad, just… hurt and it kills me.
“Why didn’t you call at least?” Tony asks. It’s weird seeing his vulnerable side. I’m not used to it… my brain has to adjust.
“I… I never thought about it. I just wanted to forget and I had the perfect opportunity to start over, and I needed that Tony. You’ve got to understand,” I try to explain unsure of how I’m going to come off to him.
Tony silently inhales his cigarette and breathes out. I follow suit, flicking my ashes in the yard.
“I understand that Benj. I just…”
“I didn’t mean for it to seem like I was starting over without you… Tony, you’ve only been a good friend to me. I’d be crazy to not want you in my life.”
Tony smiles at me and then bursts out laughing. The sound of it makes me smile wide.
“Benji, you’re a sap!”
“Screw you,” I glare at him. He flicks his cig and stares at me for a long moment.
“You look so much better, Benji. I can’t even explain it.”
I furrow my brow. “What do you mean?”
“The way you carry yourself, your clothes, your eyes; you’re so relaxed and mellowed out. I haven’t seen you like this since high school,” Tony rambles. “I’m so happy for you.”
I blush crimson and look down at the grass. I understand that this is him accepting my apology in his own way.
“Thanks Tony.”
We continue smoking our cigarettes and start talking about what we’ve been up to since the last time we talked. After we’ve smoked the majority of his pack we start heading back inside, nearly two hours after we left. Right before we reach the door an idea strikes my brain.
“Tony, Joel wants us both to talk down the isle and I was wondering… would you walk me down the isle? You totally already know you’re my best man.”
Tony tilts his head to the side, eyeing me with curiosity.
“Like brothers?” he questions with friendly, squinty eyes. You have to know him to know the look.
“Always, you’re my only family outside of Joel,” I admit and his eyes flash sadness before they turn almost tearful.
“I’d be honored, my friend.”
Please Complete this poll. I realize that if you use Internet Explorer, the format of my righting with this layout is severely fucked up, but if you use Firefox, it looks normal.
Please review! Every review counts to me and gives me a warm gooey feeling on the inside.
Always! Thanks for reading! -Jess