Comments | wyncatastrophe: Project Revision: Free Fall. Part VII. PG:13. Anakin, Obi-Wan, Tru Veld, OC.

wyncatastrophe

Project Revision: Free Fall. Part VII. PG:13. Anakin, Obi-Wan, Tru Veld, OC.

Jan 19, 2012 13:42

Author's note: So. We had to have another Anakin & Ryn scene that also draws us back into the next Anakin & Obi-Wan scene, thus setting the stage for more development in all those relationships. I've rewritten this one … oh, about a dozen times now, because I kept feeling that the emotional weight of it was off - either too dramatic or too ( Read more... )

character: obi-wan kenobi, character: ryn orun, writing, fic, character: anakin skywalker, project revision: freefall, fandom: star wars

Comments 5

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wyncatastrophe January 19 2012, 23:03:01 UTC

I don't think Obi-Wan considers it as a bond. Notice that in the last chapter he didn't want Anakin to use that connection to "call" Ryn; and remember that it was supposed to have been fading continually.

pronker January 20 2012, 07:44:55 UTC

I miss them being sort of family -- they had a dinner and got along pretty well, as I recall, Anakin and Ryn and Obi-Wan.

It's flowing well here and the forward looking, well, I don't know. Given that it's an epic, it fits well with the style. Generally, I'm not a fan of 'prescient character X looks back and wonders if this is the moment when it all went bad', but then I think I've mentioned before that Ferber wrote a bit like this and I have the habit of reading stories like mysteries and only want to find out 'whodunnit' at the end. Now I know that the saga *canon!* is complete, but in the framework of any fic I sort of like to think of the mystery angle. /falls exhausted into bed

/is awake now, here have a tentacle/ pronker January 20 2012, 17:40:07 UTC

I take it back. Forward looking is okay in small doses. Ferber used it for her historical novels such as 'Cimarron' and since she, too, wrote about 'far far away' times, the whole notion of the story being not so much a story as a legend, makes it okay. I could go on and on about Ferber, but I'll stop.

Oh my, tentacles galore ... wyncatastrophe January 21 2012, 12:09:18 UTC

Thanks for the feedback, both bits. You're right about the risks of foreshadowing too much or too heavy-handedly. The "was this the moment?" technique is one I tend to like when I'm just being a reader, but I'm not sure how skillfully I manage it as a writer. I'm working on the assumption, as well, that readers are already going to be familiar with canon and therefore aware that Ryn has to get written out somehow before ROTS; in fact, one of the impetuses (impetai?) for drafting that tidbit in this chapter was a sort of pushback against the guesses (not wholly implausible) that FFV is an AU and somehow Ryn's emergence in the story will "fix" things. How well it's working … meh, I don't know. I'm drafting away on the next piece now, which will hopefully get them closer to some of the "family-style" scenes that you mentioned missing, in your previous comment. One of the complaints some readers had about the first version (and I think it was justified) has been that the three of them, and especially Ryn and Anakin, get too close, ( ... )

Gaga says hello ... pronker January 21 2012, 16:06:51 UTC

in fact, one of the impetuses (impetai?) for drafting that tidbit in this chapter was a sort of pushback against the guesses (not wholly implausible) that FFV is an AU and somehow Ryn's emergence in the story will "fix" things. How well it's workingOkay, I can see this. And your previous work on how Ryn is being compared to Padme is also a step in that direction, to me. So go for it! I'm along for the ride *taps toe, looks at Obi-Wan imprisoned and being felt up by various others ( ... )