Reassurance
Who: Axel, Riku
When: A few days after A New Sensation and a while after The Attack.
Where: Library
Warnings: Riku being emo and bipolar. :D
Riku hated the library.
But then again, Riku hated everything at this point.
He had been asked to leave the hospital wing, and as much as he wanted to protest, he merely nodded and obeyed. He wasn't about to go to the Great Hall - the last thing he wanted to do was be around other people. Part of him just wanted to curl up into a little ball and die, but he knew he couldn't do that, either.
Instead he went to the library to catch up on the schoolwork he'd been neglecting. He sat in the farthest, most secluded area of the library, his face buried in a book. He didn't really care about his schoolwork, but he needed something to occupy his mind. Something to distract him...
Sora...
Axel had potions homework to do, and he really didn't want to do it, but he did not need another thing for his brother to make fun of him for. He stepped inside, his books in his arms. Strangely, he had'nt seen Demyx in a couple days, so he kind of needed time to think as well. He didn't want another relationship like the one he had with Roxas. He wanted to speak with Demyx.
But this homework was bogging him down ... He couldn't do anything while it was left unfinished.
Axel moved to an empty table and dropped his book on it.
Out of the corner of his eye, Riku spotted familiar red hair. He glanced over for a brief moment, and when he saw that it was indeed Axel, he looked back at the book. The words were clear as they always had been, but Riku didn't really care to read them.
His grades were probably slipping. He hadn't gone to class since the incident, and he was sure it showed. He had gotten an owl from his father, but he didn't answer it. He didn't really feel like doing anything.
He put the book down on the table and sighed. If anything, Riku just wanted to sleep.
Axel looked over at the other boy, sighing a bit.
Riku looks like shit, Axel thought to himself. He kind of wanted to go up to the boy and speak with him, but he figured he'd get bitched at.
I probably look like shit, Riku thought to himself.
He yawned, realizing that he honestly hadn't gotten much sleep lately. He had only gone back up to his dorm to shower - other than that, he'd been doing absolutely nothing. The one time he had been caught wandering the halls at night, Professor Tidus only shook his head and told him to go to bed. He couldn't sleep, though. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't. But he was so tired...
He sent the book a serious look, hoping that perhaps it would explode if he thought hard enough on it. He wanted to go back to the hospital wing, and he couldn't, and it pissed him off.
Axel sighed a little. He didn't know Riku that well, but it still sucked to see him looking so bad. He opened his book to whatever page, setting his inkwell and quill out as well.
"Maybe you should try to sleep," the redhead said loud enough for the other to hear.
Or maybe he could throw the book at someone and then make it explode-
Axel's voice took Riku out of his angry moment, and he blinked over at the redhead. His eyes were dull and there were obvious bags under them, but he didn't care.
"What would be the point?" he muttered back just as loud.
Axel leaned his chair back to it balanced on it's two back legs and propped his feet up on the table, his arms crossed over his chest.
"Well, " he said with a small grin, "I'm sure it's not good for you. "
Riku blinked, then looked back at the book. If he could just read this fucking chapter, he'd be able to go... drown himself, or something. It didn't matter to him.
"I'll get over it," he said to the book, slouching a bit.
"I doubt Sora would be pleased with you mistreating yourself like this," came Axel's rebuttal.
Axel had... a point.
"Maybe you're right," he said quietly. "But what am I suppose to do?"
This was probably the most he'd said since it all had happened - well, aside from when he'd spoken with Kairi. It made him wonder why, out of all people, he was talking to Axel.
It was probably because Riku felt as though they had a mutual understanding.
Axel couldn't tell him something that seemed even remotely harsh, which was what he ws used to. Damn his brother, always making him edgy and sharp like that. He had to think about exactly what he wanted to say.
"Well... I think you should at least try to sleep. Or eat. I know you're going through a rough time, but ... Even though Sora's all beat up, you gotta greet him with the same old you when he wakes up. "
Riku hated when people were right. Especially when that group didn't involve himself.
He didn't want to look like shit, like perhaps he was feeling sorry for himself. He didn't want to look so vulnerable, so weak. He didn't want any of this.
He just wanted Sora to wake up.
"... I can't stand it," he said, not sure if Axel could hear him or not.
Axel blinked once, sympathetically.
"Can't stand what?" he inquired, standing and going over by the other boy.
Riku didn't look up at Axel. He stared at the book, almost as if he was looking through it. He didn't say anything at first, and it took a lot out of him to speak again.
"Not knowing if he's going to be okay," he said at last.
"Hey," Axel put a hand on Riku's shoulder. His touch was as gentle as his voice, which was a bit different for him.
"Sora's going to be okay, I know it," he finished, his eyes soft.
"I want to believe it," Riku said honestly. "I want to. I want to be able to go on like everyone else and just know he'll be okay. But when I see him in his hospital bed and know he's still sleeping, I just..."
He trailed off, still looking at the pointless words in that goddamn book.
"Sora's always been strong. And I guess I'm just... nothing... without him..." His last words were a whisper.
Axel knew that feeling. It was the same feeling he used to feel with Roxas until he was more than brutally stepped all over, and was forced to find that in someone new. Unlike him, however, Riku's situation couldn't be helped and was at the fault of nobody.
"The only thing you can do," Axel responded, "is be patient. Sora'll come to. You jsut have to be strong. I know you have it in you, or you wouldn't have lasted this long."
Riku had to take in deep breaths. This was the first time he'd really spoken to anyone about how he felt. He'd always felt like the only person he could really talk to was Sora, and possibly Kairi. But he was talking to Axel, and as new as it was, Riku didn't disapprove.
Maybe he had some things to learn about friendship.
"You're right." He nodded slowly, his eyes still locked onto the book. "I just have to be strong for him. Sora wouldn't leave everyone... me... like this..."
He was saying this more to convince himself than Axel, and he was pretty sure the redhead knew it.
Yeah, he did. Axel had to do this himself, as well.
"Exctly, " he mused, "Sora's a strong boy, too. He wouldn't go down without a fight like that."
Riku nodded again. The reassurance from Axel made him feel slightly better. He stood from his chair, feeling a rush of blood go to his head when he did so. He nearly fell over, but caught himself before he could. Just how long had he been sitting there?
"Sora would never give up," he said, looking up at Axel. "Thanks."
"Mm-hm," the redhead nodded, waving a hand a bit as he waled back to his chair and sat in it.
Riku let out a small sigh, picking up his books from the table with his left hand and placing them in his right. He wanted to thank Axel again, but decided against it. He was sure Axel got the point.
He walked out of the library, ignoring the glanced he received from the other students. They didn't matter to him.
Riku decided that he'd check on Sora and then go back to his own bed and try his hardest to sleep. He glanced into a window as he walked past it, getting a brief look at his own reflection.
Axel was right: he needed it.
When: A few days after A New Sensation and a while after The Attack.
Where: Library
Warnings: Riku being emo and bipolar. :D
Riku hated the library.
But then again, Riku hated everything at this point.
He had been asked to leave the hospital wing, and as much as he wanted to protest, he merely nodded and obeyed. He wasn't about to go to the Great Hall - the last thing he wanted to do was be around other people. Part of him just wanted to curl up into a little ball and die, but he knew he couldn't do that, either.
Instead he went to the library to catch up on the schoolwork he'd been neglecting. He sat in the farthest, most secluded area of the library, his face buried in a book. He didn't really care about his schoolwork, but he needed something to occupy his mind. Something to distract him...
Sora...
Axel had potions homework to do, and he really didn't want to do it, but he did not need another thing for his brother to make fun of him for. He stepped inside, his books in his arms. Strangely, he had'nt seen Demyx in a couple days, so he kind of needed time to think as well. He didn't want another relationship like the one he had with Roxas. He wanted to speak with Demyx.
But this homework was bogging him down ... He couldn't do anything while it was left unfinished.
Axel moved to an empty table and dropped his book on it.
Out of the corner of his eye, Riku spotted familiar red hair. He glanced over for a brief moment, and when he saw that it was indeed Axel, he looked back at the book. The words were clear as they always had been, but Riku didn't really care to read them.
His grades were probably slipping. He hadn't gone to class since the incident, and he was sure it showed. He had gotten an owl from his father, but he didn't answer it. He didn't really feel like doing anything.
He put the book down on the table and sighed. If anything, Riku just wanted to sleep.
Axel looked over at the other boy, sighing a bit.
Riku looks like shit, Axel thought to himself. He kind of wanted to go up to the boy and speak with him, but he figured he'd get bitched at.
I probably look like shit, Riku thought to himself.
He yawned, realizing that he honestly hadn't gotten much sleep lately. He had only gone back up to his dorm to shower - other than that, he'd been doing absolutely nothing. The one time he had been caught wandering the halls at night, Professor Tidus only shook his head and told him to go to bed. He couldn't sleep, though. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't. But he was so tired...
He sent the book a serious look, hoping that perhaps it would explode if he thought hard enough on it. He wanted to go back to the hospital wing, and he couldn't, and it pissed him off.
Axel sighed a little. He didn't know Riku that well, but it still sucked to see him looking so bad. He opened his book to whatever page, setting his inkwell and quill out as well.
"Maybe you should try to sleep," the redhead said loud enough for the other to hear.
Or maybe he could throw the book at someone and then make it explode-
Axel's voice took Riku out of his angry moment, and he blinked over at the redhead. His eyes were dull and there were obvious bags under them, but he didn't care.
"What would be the point?" he muttered back just as loud.
Axel leaned his chair back to it balanced on it's two back legs and propped his feet up on the table, his arms crossed over his chest.
"Well, " he said with a small grin, "I'm sure it's not good for you. "
Riku blinked, then looked back at the book. If he could just read this fucking chapter, he'd be able to go... drown himself, or something. It didn't matter to him.
"I'll get over it," he said to the book, slouching a bit.
"I doubt Sora would be pleased with you mistreating yourself like this," came Axel's rebuttal.
Axel had... a point.
"Maybe you're right," he said quietly. "But what am I suppose to do?"
This was probably the most he'd said since it all had happened - well, aside from when he'd spoken with Kairi. It made him wonder why, out of all people, he was talking to Axel.
It was probably because Riku felt as though they had a mutual understanding.
Axel couldn't tell him something that seemed even remotely harsh, which was what he ws used to. Damn his brother, always making him edgy and sharp like that. He had to think about exactly what he wanted to say.
"Well... I think you should at least try to sleep. Or eat. I know you're going through a rough time, but ... Even though Sora's all beat up, you gotta greet him with the same old you when he wakes up. "
Riku hated when people were right. Especially when that group didn't involve himself.
He didn't want to look like shit, like perhaps he was feeling sorry for himself. He didn't want to look so vulnerable, so weak. He didn't want any of this.
He just wanted Sora to wake up.
"... I can't stand it," he said, not sure if Axel could hear him or not.
Axel blinked once, sympathetically.
"Can't stand what?" he inquired, standing and going over by the other boy.
Riku didn't look up at Axel. He stared at the book, almost as if he was looking through it. He didn't say anything at first, and it took a lot out of him to speak again.
"Not knowing if he's going to be okay," he said at last.
"Hey," Axel put a hand on Riku's shoulder. His touch was as gentle as his voice, which was a bit different for him.
"Sora's going to be okay, I know it," he finished, his eyes soft.
"I want to believe it," Riku said honestly. "I want to. I want to be able to go on like everyone else and just know he'll be okay. But when I see him in his hospital bed and know he's still sleeping, I just..."
He trailed off, still looking at the pointless words in that goddamn book.
"Sora's always been strong. And I guess I'm just... nothing... without him..." His last words were a whisper.
Axel knew that feeling. It was the same feeling he used to feel with Roxas until he was more than brutally stepped all over, and was forced to find that in someone new. Unlike him, however, Riku's situation couldn't be helped and was at the fault of nobody.
"The only thing you can do," Axel responded, "is be patient. Sora'll come to. You jsut have to be strong. I know you have it in you, or you wouldn't have lasted this long."
Riku had to take in deep breaths. This was the first time he'd really spoken to anyone about how he felt. He'd always felt like the only person he could really talk to was Sora, and possibly Kairi. But he was talking to Axel, and as new as it was, Riku didn't disapprove.
Maybe he had some things to learn about friendship.
"You're right." He nodded slowly, his eyes still locked onto the book. "I just have to be strong for him. Sora wouldn't leave everyone... me... like this..."
He was saying this more to convince himself than Axel, and he was pretty sure the redhead knew it.
Yeah, he did. Axel had to do this himself, as well.
"Exctly, " he mused, "Sora's a strong boy, too. He wouldn't go down without a fight like that."
Riku nodded again. The reassurance from Axel made him feel slightly better. He stood from his chair, feeling a rush of blood go to his head when he did so. He nearly fell over, but caught himself before he could. Just how long had he been sitting there?
"Sora would never give up," he said, looking up at Axel. "Thanks."
"Mm-hm," the redhead nodded, waving a hand a bit as he waled back to his chair and sat in it.
Riku let out a small sigh, picking up his books from the table with his left hand and placing them in his right. He wanted to thank Axel again, but decided against it. He was sure Axel got the point.
He walked out of the library, ignoring the glanced he received from the other students. They didn't matter to him.
Riku decided that he'd check on Sora and then go back to his own bed and try his hardest to sleep. He glanced into a window as he walked past it, getting a brief look at his own reflection.
Axel was right: he needed it.