Sometimes you lose something and there's nothing to replace it. You spend the remainder of your life wanting.

I am thrilled that things are going well or the lot of you.
I apologize that I do not show much enthusiasm towards this.
My present position prevents that for the most part.

I wish you all the best.

"Everything was beautiful, and nothing hurt."
- Kurt Vonnegut, Jr.

Unfortunately, in disagreement with the late and great Mr. Vonnegut, whom I hold in high esteem, I must say otherwise. I have reached an equilibrium between the beast of my ever-looming depression and that small cinder of hope that I kindle in the chambers of my figurative heart. ( Read more... )

The off key tones in the air of the bar echoed the discordant beats of his heart. Every strummed chord was a mirror of his internal turmoil. His only defense, the beer on front of him. He hefted it to his lips and drained what remained in the bottle. There was protection in the dulling of his senses. There was succor. If he could drink these ( Read more... )

There, just beyond the light's reach, that is where my heart lies. Draped in the shadows of doubt, fear, and uncertainty it beats slowly. The sound of a ragged bellow worked by a weak arm echoes from that dark place, the thin wheezing signaling the futile attempt to stoke whatever embers remain. The fire has burned out ( Read more... )

Lost my iPhone ( Read more... )

If I could convey my dismay with words I'd be a goddamn poet ( Read more... )

It's never the right time.

Lately I've done well reminding myself of Vonnegut's advice:
    I urge you to please notice when you are happy, and exclaim or murmur or think at some point, "If this isn't nice, I don't know what is."

She talks about going away to vet school with no reservations, as she should. Each conversation is just another brick in ( Read more... )

Holding together, though the vacation period of unemployment has passed and I'm now slamming into the first stages of depression. I've avoided it thus far, as the first three weeks I was unemployed I was traveling cross-country and had an agenda. Presently, life consists of searching for new job postings in the morning, walking the dog, laying out ( Read more... )

Insurance is due in the morning. That's $500. I've got to come up with another $200 to pay for the rental of my tux for my friend Chris' wedding next month. On top of all that, I've got to pay all the bills that still come around each month ( Read more... )