Mission Not Accomplished

[wshaffer]

My neighborhood seems to have become infested with missionaries

Comments

[brewsternorth]

And while I'm still sitting here wondering what to do with my newly acquired pamphlet explaining why Global Warming is evidence of the approaching Biblical End of Days,

Poke holes in its faulty logic until your sides hurt from lulz?

And while religious types have the freedom to go door-to-door selling their wares like Avon salespeeps, you do indeed have the right to say no. It's your spiritual life, for goodness' sakes.

Mormons at the gate? Halp.

[wshaffer]

Poking holes in its logic is proving fun - although a large part of it consists of an article on corn cultivation that appears to have very little relevance to either global warming or religion. It's nice to know that even Jehovah's Witnesses go through the, "Oh crap! We go to press tomorrow and I've got a 400-word gap to fill!" syndrome.

The thing about these encounters that gets me is that I know that a polite-but-firm "No thanks" is definitely the way to go. But once in a while, I seem to be seized by some latent fear of confrontation, which leads me to adopt the take-the-literature-and-hope-they'll-leave quickly approach.

[timprov]

The FBI isn't going to be very happy with you.

[wshaffer]

Hah! In my admittedly limited experience, Federal officers who want to talk to me have the good grace to phone first.

[visvavajra]

You need a huge, huge poster of Baphomet on your front door. And perhaps the piked head of a Jehovah's witness.

[wshaffer]

I have thought of putting up a sign reading, "I'm happy with my religion, I know who I'm voting for in November, and if I need carpet cleaning services, I check the Internet. Do you still wanna ring that bell?"

[visvavajra]

they so will. Tell them you already heard the good news and you were kinda "meh".

[rimrunner]

missysedai has a doormat that says "GO AWAY". I'm thinking of emulating her.

[mrissa]

rysmiel says that in Dublin the Catholics tend to go out in teams of a smiling young woman and baby (carrot) and a grumpy middle-aged man (stick).

[wshaffer]

I was going to wonder how they ensured a constant supply of women with sufficiently young children, and then I realized...

[fastfwd]

When I still lived in Kansas, the Witnesses were always showing up at the door using their children as human shields.

Here in London, I haven't had any come round with children. Since our door-phone is working again, I don't go downstairs to the door now. I simply say, "No, but thanks anyway. And I hope you're not walking around this area all alone."

Haven't had a visit from any lately...

[wshaffer]

And I hope you're not walking around this area all alone.

That is rather brilliant.