Writing Exercise, otherwise entitled, Wow, she really is a nerd.

[wrldpossibility]

So yesterday I wrote a short dialogue-only piece, located here, and when I was done, I thought it might be fun (yes, truly fun, which only goes to show what a dork I really am) to write a 'flushed out' version of it. I wanted to see which style would prove to be the bigger challenge, and at the same time, I thought it might be interesting to see if

Comments

[lizparker6]

L-O-V-E I-T.
I think nothing more to say there is. The force with you was this day, when wrote you this magnificent fic.
Joda loves you for that, padawan amy.

[wrldpossibility]

Am I getting a Yoda response? LOL. You're too much! Thank you, though, very much!

[melanyebaggins]

lmao that icon is GOLD :D

[lizparker6]

Thank you so much. There is more..;)

[lizparker6]

Oh, and to your previous question, I think both versions worked pretty well. The appealing thing about the dialogue-only version was that it was really hard sometimes to imagine what was going on, but that was in fact the superb thing, amy! It so much added to the drama and confussion and angst of the whole piece, the rush and fear and keeping in the dark, something even michael felt while driving, not knowing how bad it was with sara, also we didnt know while reading what exactly was going on and that kep the bloody suspence and atmosphere alive, i loved that

[wrldpossibility]

I can see how the dialogue-only would add to the tension of an action scene, but I worried it could cause confusion, too (with the lack of description, moving people from here to there, and etc). I'm really glad to know it didn't, or rather, that the ambiguity added to the atmosphere.

And I'm glad you liked Sara's rapidly diminishing cognative abilities. *g*

[chapter_stork]

I was looking forward to this, and so to see it so soon, whee! You are good, Amy. Now, as far as comparing the two, I'm going to try and tread lightly here, because they are both great, and if I had to choose I would take "both", but I think the dialogue-only version was a little more exciting to read. Reading the first one I filled in a lot of the thoughts and emotions you've fleshed out in the second, and although I enjoyed reading the second version a lot, it didn't add to my understanding of the scene, because in my imagination all those things were already there. Does that make sense? Maybe someone slightly less obsessed with these characters would feel differently? Anyway, this was a cool idea, awesomely executed, thanks for doing this and sharing. I enjoyed being privy to your writing process and, obviously, reading the results of it. Thanks so much!

[wrldpossibility]

No need to tread lightly! I asked, after all. *g*

I'm surprised the dialogue-only was more exciting, only because I feared it would be impossible to make it clear, given the structure. I'm relieved that it was!

As for this:

Reading the first one I filled in a lot of the thoughts and emotions you've fleshed out in the second, and although I enjoyed reading the second version a lot, it didn't add to my understanding of the scene, because in my imagination all those things were already there.

You're a very thorough and careful reader, so I'm not surprised that you filled in the dialogue with all the exposition and thought processes you required.

Thanks for reading and putting in your thoughts. I find it really interesting to write the same scene in different styles, although I fear I'm making some people yawn. lol Maybe I should do it in poem-form next, or a dream sequence. Or hey, how about a knock-knock joke? *g*

[chapter_stork]

LOL!
Knock Knock
Who's There?
Sara
Sara Who?
Sa-ra bullet hole in my midclavicular region?

Another way to describe this is the difference between watching a scene on screen, experiencing it and soaking it all in unconsciously, and going back and analyzing the same scene frame by frame. *cough-I've heard that some people do this-cough* The close examination solidifies what you already saw, but adds dimension to it.

[wrldpossibility]

Hahaha! I knew you wouldn't be able to resist. How about a twist on an old classic?

Knock knock
Who's there?
Orange.
Orange who?
Orange you glad Sara's alive?

Oh, and edited, because I got so excited about Knock Knock jokes, I forgot to comment on the rest. When I wrote the second version, it did feel a lot like writing a scene frame-by-frame, which yes, I've done as well. lol

Good analogy!

[linzi20]

*gasps*

This is so, so, so, so GOOD!!

[wrldpossibility]

Hey there! Thank you, dear!

[melanyebaggins]

omg I was literally getting all choked up and tense while reading this. Wowwww that's talent! My throat is still sore from all that anticipation *bites nails*

Is there...any chance of a part two? It's beautiful...perfect how it is, but I'd like to see what happens after :D

[wrldpossibility]

Oh, thank you! I love writing tense scenes. As for a part two, it may happen, but I can't say more. *is mysterious*