A Makeshift Triangle, Part I, Chapter Five

Nov 19, 2007 07:47

A Makeshift Triangle

Part I

Chapter Five

About ten minutes into his journey home... )

a makeshift triangle

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writtenbyrandom November 20 2007, 11:44:07 UTC
Thank you!

As for Will... ? Even I don't really know what he'll do.

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charisstoma November 19 2007, 21:12:10 UTC
Where is the sitcom why did this happen discussion? Am a little disappointed that Pan went for the scratch his eyes out and not the punch him in the face, body, wherever. Even my little sister, as a kid, could punch in a windmill sort of way with satisfactory results I might add.
Still I liked the fact that Pan did fight and the tension of the outing from the jocks wasn't quite as traumatic as it could have been. Pan could have been bashed much worse.

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writtenbyrandom November 20 2007, 11:47:57 UTC
Yes, Pan doesn't fight like a girl... he fights like he doesn't even understand the concept of causing harm. He reacts purely out of instinct and his instincts aren't well-honed, haha.

]Where is the sitcom why did this happen discussion?[

Er... I'm not sure I'm understanding what you're saying here. I'm dense! I'm sorry!

Thanks for reading and reviewing!

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charisstoma November 20 2007, 16:08:16 UTC
Sorry, there was a need for commas.
Every good parent asks why, when things like this happen. Most times the question is rhetorical and meant to show the kid how irresponsible they've acted. But,” why did you do that", is quite a common question asked by sit-com parents and the answer sometimes mitigates the punishment.

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writtenbyrandom November 21 2007, 11:26:45 UTC
Ah, I see what you're talking about now...

Hmmm... Well, the 'talk' is sort of implied in the chapter, though you are correct, Pan's mother didn't even bother asking why. Honestly, the reason behind it is MY mother never asked why whenever I got into scrapes at school and I suppose I was subconsciously basing Pan's mother off of her. I'm so going to have to show my mom the 'every good parent' part of your comment, though... lol.

However, it is a good question and perfaps I should look into editing something like that into the chapter, because Pan's mom isn't a bad moher, per se, just a scattered one. Too many things on one plate and she assumes her kids already know everything she had to teach them, that sort of thing.

Ack! I'm rambling. I'll be quiet now.

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sunshinepill November 20 2007, 03:36:49 UTC
Oh oh oh. You know, I've missed your writing and this story. It makes me ache. ♥

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writtenbyrandom November 20 2007, 11:49:30 UTC
McKenzie! Thanks so much for reading/commenting! I hope you're well!

I miss my writing, too. I seem to be in constant edit mode. x.o

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sunshinepill November 20 2007, 12:13:04 UTC
hehe. of course! are you kidding? i used to spend train rides looking for pan and will look alikes. :p and yeah, i'm fantastmagorical. how about you? i totally emailed you, you know. *pokes*

I miss my writing, too. I seem to be in constant edit mode. x.o

wow, do i ever know that feeling ._. you know what? we should totally make good on starting that private RP we talked about for all of two seconds. lol :p

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writtenbyrandom November 21 2007, 11:29:34 UTC
I AM REALLY BAD AT CHECKING MY EMAIL. no, really. I've gone months before.

As it stands, I owe emails to a few people. :/ I'm so sorry! You may beat me now!

I would seriously be into a good rp sometime soon.

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tofumice November 20 2007, 17:48:04 UTC
Agh, I missed yesterday. I, too, would have liked to see Pan do a fist punch to Leighton's face. I'm no jock, but if someone pissed me off, I'd go with fists cocked, not claws. But that's what's written.

Anyway, there, unfortunately, isn't much to say about this part. This seems like a bridger to me too until Will's through with suspension. Now that Pan's grounded... I wonder when the next time they'll se each other is.

I do like the tension that you're developing though. It's very palpable. I seriously want to know what's going to happen when Will finds out about Pan's affections. I can see him going either way, either accepting it or rejecting it. But I feel like he will reject it since you said you are the queen of angst or something along those lines. But who doesn't like some good, clean angst once and a while?

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writtenbyrandom November 21 2007, 11:33:00 UTC
You always have the best icons.

Hmm, perhaps I should combine last chapter and this chapter together... nvm me, I'm just thinking through my fingers...

LOL I am the self-proclaimed queen of angst, which amounts to me being a legend in my own little mind and no one else's.^^ So who knows what could happen!

Thanks for reading!

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tofumice November 24 2007, 19:39:37 UTC
Haha. Thanks! I make some myself, but most I get from communities that specialize in that sort of creative 100x100. Haha.

I try to do agnst, but I always end up feeling bad for my characters. Hahahaha. I think angst is strong and it's hard to get too sappy with it. Romance, sappy romance, can get out of hand before the person writing it realizes it. So I try to stay away from hte archaic sap. Heh heh.

And I'm a pretty hot writer in my own mind as well. Hahaa. We've got to have somewhere where we're nationally cherished, eh?

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writtenbyrandom November 25 2007, 14:20:13 UTC
These are my wife's words, but they're quite applicable here:

"I'm a bad mommy."

Meaning, I don't feel too bad for my characters. Pan and Will get off easy compared to the ones I've created with my cowriter (and above-mentioned wifey)!

If you have any recs, I'd love to read some of your work. I'm always on the lookout for good stories, esp. good slash!

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