fic: Even If
Title: Even if
Author: Writing2Death
Warnings/Spoilers: None, general spoilers.
Pairing: If you squint very hard, Merlin/Arthur
Word Count: 211
Disclaimer: I do not own Merlin, sadly.
Summary: Drabble-ish. Merlin doesn't like secrets.
This was written for my writing group's prompt: Have you ever had a secret? One you couldn't tell anybody? Then write about it. The catch? You can't actually write what the secret is only how it makes you feel. Our lips are sealed. It ended up being almost drabble length. It's not exactly 100 words but I didn't know what else to call it. Also, I think I was supposed to write about myself but I don't really have any secrets so I wrote about Merlin instead :D
Even if
It makes me feel powerful. But I don't like secrets. And one day he'll find out. There are ten thousand ways that this can go but my mind mainly lingers on one.
It makes me feel unfaithful. He'll feel betrayed and all the careful trust we've built will break like shattered glass. It'll be an accident and he'll see the flash of gold. He'll not see the loyalty. And I will see the flames. I'll have to leave and, unprotected, he'll have to stay.
It makes me feel selfish. I've done everything right and good but sometimes I have to wonder why it was me chosen for this. I've done as destiny commanded; saved his life over and over and over but he's blind to it and I have to - need to - should be content with this quiet use. But I'm not.
It makes me feel shame. Because I have to hide. I am the idiot, the fool, the useless, stupid servant with the mild 'mental affliction'. But I'm not really. Secretly, out of everyone's sight, I'm his protector and his guardian. Everything I do is for him. But no one knows. Just me.
But I would do everything again, even if destiny had given me a choice. Because there is no choice. Even if he hates me. Even if he casts me aside, a betrayer to the crown. Even if I burn. Because this is my purpose.
But I don't like secrets. Even if it makes me feel powerful.
Author: Writing2Death
Warnings/Spoilers: None, general spoilers.
Pairing: If you squint very hard, Merlin/Arthur
Word Count: 211
Disclaimer: I do not own Merlin, sadly.
Summary: Drabble-ish. Merlin doesn't like secrets.
This was written for my writing group's prompt: Have you ever had a secret? One you couldn't tell anybody? Then write about it. The catch? You can't actually write what the secret is only how it makes you feel. Our lips are sealed. It ended up being almost drabble length. It's not exactly 100 words but I didn't know what else to call it. Also, I think I was supposed to write about myself but I don't really have any secrets so I wrote about Merlin instead :D
Even if
It makes me feel powerful. But I don't like secrets. And one day he'll find out. There are ten thousand ways that this can go but my mind mainly lingers on one.
It makes me feel unfaithful. He'll feel betrayed and all the careful trust we've built will break like shattered glass. It'll be an accident and he'll see the flash of gold. He'll not see the loyalty. And I will see the flames. I'll have to leave and, unprotected, he'll have to stay.
It makes me feel selfish. I've done everything right and good but sometimes I have to wonder why it was me chosen for this. I've done as destiny commanded; saved his life over and over and over but he's blind to it and I have to - need to - should be content with this quiet use. But I'm not.
It makes me feel shame. Because I have to hide. I am the idiot, the fool, the useless, stupid servant with the mild 'mental affliction'. But I'm not really. Secretly, out of everyone's sight, I'm his protector and his guardian. Everything I do is for him. But no one knows. Just me.
But I would do everything again, even if destiny had given me a choice. Because there is no choice. Even if he hates me. Even if he casts me aside, a betrayer to the crown. Even if I burn. Because this is my purpose.
But I don't like secrets. Even if it makes me feel powerful.