LAS Pieces: A Thousand Words & How a Bear Looks (in Need of a Home)

[writing2death]

These are the first two stories for originalfic_las that I submitted.
They haven't actually been edited in anyway but they probably will be eventually :)

Title: A Thousand Words
Author: writing2death
Rating: G
Notes: Written for the Last Author Standing Prompt Change.

Comments

[meagan4dominic]

A Thousand Words:
You created a great atmosphere in this story, through your imagery I felt as if I knew this girl as well, I could see her house and the apple tree with the grave beneath it.
I don't know if this was intended, but I got a real sense of angst about this girl, perhaps because you didn't mention any friendships and the idea of a seven-year-old burying a dog is pretty depressing in my opinion. Was this what you were going for?
Also, am I totally dense or is the reader supposed to be left guessing about the narrator's connection to the girl? All of the things the narrator knows are pretty intimate, as well as having a box of her photographs. This makes me think it's a parent or some kind of relative....

How a Bear Looks:
Very sweet ending. The narration is simple and childlike, which suits the protagonist very well. A sweet story :)

[writing2death]

Thank you so much! :)

For A Thousand Words, the narrator and the girl she's thinking about are supposed to be the same person. It was written for the prompt change, and so she's supposed to be thinking about how much she's changed over her lifetime - so much so that she's essentially a different person now. I'm not sure I effectively got that across though, lol.

I'm really glad that you liked them and took the time to read them :)

[meagan4dominic]

My mouth fell open in (pleasent) surprise at reading that. The same person, that is SO clever!!! Perhaps if I read it over again with that knowledge it would be painfully obvious and I would feel like a moron for not picking it up the first time, lol. Very interesting

You're very welcome, I hope the comment helped a little :D

[writing2death]

Thanks - like I said I'm really not sure if I got what I wanted across with it but I'm glad that the concept is at least interesting :)

And the comment definitely helped :D
All feedback is good feedback :)

Thank you again :)