(Untitled)

[writetothebones]

My family doesn’t hug
but now that I hardly
see them anymore,
we embrace hello and
good bye awkwardly,
as if we don’t
know when
the next time we see each
other will be.

My family doesn’t

Comments

[kavieshana]

I remember seeing this in...creativewriting, I believe, a while back. I can't remember if I commented there or not but if I had I would have said that it is lovely. It's very easy to connect with.

The only part I have a problem with is s3, where I think it would sound better as

"My family
doesn't hug but each time
I say goodbye to my dad
I never
want to let him go."

Anyways, do you mind if I add you? I like your writing and I'd love to watch you progress.

[writetothebones]

Hmm, I think you're right with the break in that stanza... I was kind of just playing around with the breaks, making half of them after I'd originally written it.

But yeah... thanks, and feel free to add!