[team five] A real SNG situation
This is going to be expanded but for now here's the beginning I guess~
Inspired because of this and a very long and silly conversation with nini, but here we go. There are a number of kinks mentioned, but this whole thing is very PG. ENJOY? Music
Home is complicated. Not because Jimin has issues with his family, and not because he’s too far away from them to remember what his brother stealing all the hot water was like, but because Jimin, right now, doesn’t really have a home. It’s not as dramatic as people interpret it to be, gasping and looking at him like he should look much more desperate than he does.
It’s just that Jimin kind of ran out on his lease a few months and cities back and has been, to put it bluntly, mooching off of everyone he knows. Not entirely, because Seokjin down right refuses to let Jimin think he’s ‘taking advantage of them’ and because he’s pretty sure that if he tried to pay Taehyung rent, Taehyung would be personally offended and might cry.
The thing is, Jimin left his old apartment due to a position transfer, couch surfing his way into the city, assuming that being in the city would make it easier to scope out apartments and nail one down. He initially set up to crash with Yoongi and Seokjin for about a week, then move his stuff out of storage and into whatever unit he found.
The things Jimin hadn’t counted on was that moving into an apartment so close to winter and snow meant few places had apartment openings or availability, at least places that didn’t make Jimin extremely creeped out. He also hadn’t counted on struggling to find a roommate, going through the throws of trying to find them on roommate sites and struggling. He’d initially hoped that Hoseok would maybe think about moving out of Seokjin and Yoongi’s apartment to get a double with him, but Hoseok apparently was too attached to the ‘quiet’ that the other two provided.
“You’re loud,” Hoseok had told him with a good-natured smile, patting Jimin on the cheek. “I’m fine here, plus the rent is baller.”
So what had started as a week just living on Seokjin’s and Yoongi’s couch had turned into two weeks had turned into Jimin feeling so shit about this whole mess that he decided to ‘couch surf extendedly’. Basically anyone who had a couch hosted him (if willing), and Jimin in return did a few chores and management things on the side as he made his new temporarily permanent place of rest ‘some couch somewhere’.
About a month ago, Taehyung had grown so fed up with Jimin randomly packing up his things and leaving after a week or so before coming back a week later, he’d sat him down and told him to stay. So, currently, ‘home’ is Taehyung and Jeongguk’s couch that has seen better and worse things than Jimin sleeping on it every night. It isn’t ideal, but it works.
It is also where Jimin finds himself the evening of one of the biggest snow storms in the last few years, bundled up and dreading the morning commute, trying to navigate craigslist.
Initially, Jimin had been extremely wary of craigslist. As far as he knew, it was basically like Russian Roulette and there was a very high chance he might be getting into something shady. But then Taehyung laughed in his face about this, explaining that he met Jeongguk on craigslist for roommates and Jeongguk was about as much of a creep as Julie Andrews is.
(“Are you sure she’s not a creep?” Jeongguk asked, craning his head from where he was decisively playing Minecraft.
“She’s like the queen of the world or something, least creepy woman in the universe, everyone wants to be her child,” Taehyung argued.
“I don’t,” Jeongguk said pointedly, petulantly, persnicketedly.
“Yeah, well, you eat eggs with mayonnaise, you can’t be trusted,” Taehyung shrugged before opening up craigslist on Jimin’s laptop in an incognito window.)
Jimin found out why it had to be ‘incognito’ when Taehyung explained his favorite craigslist ‘game’. The game was extremely simple: go on craigslist and try to find the most ‘impressive’ personal ad. In truth, it was really just an exploration and reveal of how much of people Jimin didn’t want to know about, but there was something fascinating about it. From ‘maintenance men’ to ‘ARMPITS!!!’ and ‘diaper boys delivery’, craigslist legitimately had it all.
“You can’t judge them,” Taehyung had told Jimin firmly when Jimin stared at the ad for ‘TRUCKERS DESPERATELY WANTED - m4m.’ “They’re just people, like you, but with better awareness of their kinks.”
Jimin didn’t really know what kinks were, or what they entail, and there was massive part of him that is entirely disturbed by how much Taehyung knows about them. He’s become less clueless, but that doesn’t mean it wasn’t disconcerting to watch Taehyung eat spoonfulls of chocolate spread, wearing a bear pajama onesie as he explained casually about the differences in D/s and Pet play and how the actual term for someone who has no kinks is actually given the kink name of ‘vanilla sex.’
Regardless, the whole ordeal ended up making Jimin curious, wondering if he actually possesses any kinks (Taehyung is convinced he has them but, because he’s a shit, refuses to tell Jimin what they are and just grins at him childishly, which in and of itself is off-putting). So curious, in fact, that he somehow, always, ends in the ‘personals’ section of craigslist even when he’s not supposed to be there.
It’s not even about the sex, it’s just that Jimin has to know damn it and there’s something oddly fascinating about reading all the wanted ads. He’s learned a lot, mostly all things he is not into (the list is large and learning about vore has scarred him for life), and become extremely confused on many other accounts.
It’s unfortunately what he’s doing this evening when the snow is still falling outside, and the internal debate of ‘do I even bother to go to work tomorrow?’ It’s how Taehyung finds him, scaring Jimin nearly half to death as he flops on his shoulders from behind and breathes wetly into his ear, smelling strongly of chips, “find anything interesting?”
“N-no!” Jimin says, quickly switching tabs on his browser to bring back the weather maps of the storm. It just shows a mass of green and red, like a menacing Christmas card of winter revenge.
“Aw, c’mon,” Taehyung whines, poking Jimin’s tummy over and over, crowding him on the couch. “I’m bored, what did you find? You can’t play craigslist without me, that’s like cheating!”
“How is it cheating?” Jimin asks, and gives up when Taehyung lets out another whine and manages to open the proper tab. “I’m not even playing, I was just-“
“Looking up long lost love stories?” Taehyung asks, looking at the post titled ‘lost our car on the 402, trying to find you’. “Seriously?”
“All the other posts were extremely self explanatory,” Jimin tries to explain. “They’re all basically ‘suck my dick,’ or a variation of it.”
“What about this one?” Taehyung asks, clicking on an entry labeled ‘looking for male for SNG situation (NW)’ that Jimin had avoided, not sure he wanted to know what SNG meant. (He’d tried looking it up but was pretty sure ‘synthetic natural gas’ wasn’t what it meant, and if it did mean that, Jimin was not curious).
“Dunno,” Jimin admits, wincing preemptively for a dick picture to greet him (he’s seen too many and also too few, which he doesn’t want to explain really). “I didn’t know what SNG means.” He pauses, and glances at Taehyung who is still draped over him. “Do you-“
“No, why else would I click the ad?” Taehyung scoffs at him.
“You’d click it anyway.”
“Shovel and go,” Taehyung says, and Jimin blinks.
“What?”
“Read.” Taehyung knocks his head against Jimin’s, redirecting his attention to Jimin’s computer as a wide smile begins to spread on his face.
Kinky married white male looking for strong male to fulfill a fantasy.
I’m looking for a HOT, discreet, “shovel and go” situation where you drive up and shovel all this snow from my driveway and sidewalk and then just leave.
I cannot explain how HOT this would be. No pics necessary.
“What the fuck?” Jimin breathes, frowning, but none the less-
“Damn,” Taehyung says. He’s grinning ear to ear when Jimin turns to him, and it makes something squirm in warning in his stomach. Jimin chooses to ignore it, wondering where Taehyung will go with this. He’s certainly interested (something with Jimin envies, how Taehyung is absolutely fascinated by this, like it’s the greatest thing in the world).
“Is this for real?” Jimin asks, not entirely sure if he can take the add seriously. Someone wouldn’t really want this, right? It doesn’t seem very kinky to him.
“I think it is,” Taehyung says, and finally clambers over the back of the couch to slot against Jimin’s side. He wets his lips before turning to Jimin, eyes shining and looking very serious. “Remember that time you wondered if you were an exhibitionist?”
“No,” Jimin says flatly, even if his cheeks flare hot. He hadn’t really wondered, it was just a passing thought that was entirely perpetuated by Jeongguk at one point calling him a stripper because of noraebang. It was one time and Hoseok had definitely told him to take his shirt off.
“Well, I feel like this is your chance,” Taehyung says, looking back at the ad like it’s a message from the Gods. “There’s no other kinks in this, just really PG exhibitionism and voyeurism.”
“Voyeurism?”
“Well, he’ll be watching you shovel,” Taehyung explains. “Maybe even jacking off as you shovel-“ Jimin can feel his cheeks grow hotter, that squirm in his stomach worse - “or doing something else. And if you go, there’s literally no reason for you to do anything. You just go, see if you get aroused, and then leave. Jack off in your car or something.”
“But-“
“It’s the opportunity of a lifetime,” Taehyung says emphatically. “You’d be a moron not to do it. Don’t be lame, Jimin.”
“I’m not lame,” Jimin bristles, frowning as he thinks of the only other person he knows who legitimately calls him ‘lame’ whenever he sees him. Maybe it’s because Jimin is already embarrassed because of this, or maybe it’s because the whole thing does make him curious, but while he’d usually be able to ignore Taehyung calling him lame, this time it makes him agitated. “Fine!”
“You won’t regret this,” Taehyung practically mouth breathes at him, leaning into his side as Jimin clicks the ‘reply’ button.
“I hope not,” Jimin says, and his insides squirm uncomfortably.
tagging ceeri for your next turn! Good luck and have fun!
Inspired because of this and a very long and silly conversation with nini, but here we go. There are a number of kinks mentioned, but this whole thing is very PG. ENJOY? Music
Home is complicated. Not because Jimin has issues with his family, and not because he’s too far away from them to remember what his brother stealing all the hot water was like, but because Jimin, right now, doesn’t really have a home. It’s not as dramatic as people interpret it to be, gasping and looking at him like he should look much more desperate than he does.
It’s just that Jimin kind of ran out on his lease a few months and cities back and has been, to put it bluntly, mooching off of everyone he knows. Not entirely, because Seokjin down right refuses to let Jimin think he’s ‘taking advantage of them’ and because he’s pretty sure that if he tried to pay Taehyung rent, Taehyung would be personally offended and might cry.
The thing is, Jimin left his old apartment due to a position transfer, couch surfing his way into the city, assuming that being in the city would make it easier to scope out apartments and nail one down. He initially set up to crash with Yoongi and Seokjin for about a week, then move his stuff out of storage and into whatever unit he found.
The things Jimin hadn’t counted on was that moving into an apartment so close to winter and snow meant few places had apartment openings or availability, at least places that didn’t make Jimin extremely creeped out. He also hadn’t counted on struggling to find a roommate, going through the throws of trying to find them on roommate sites and struggling. He’d initially hoped that Hoseok would maybe think about moving out of Seokjin and Yoongi’s apartment to get a double with him, but Hoseok apparently was too attached to the ‘quiet’ that the other two provided.
“You’re loud,” Hoseok had told him with a good-natured smile, patting Jimin on the cheek. “I’m fine here, plus the rent is baller.”
So what had started as a week just living on Seokjin’s and Yoongi’s couch had turned into two weeks had turned into Jimin feeling so shit about this whole mess that he decided to ‘couch surf extendedly’. Basically anyone who had a couch hosted him (if willing), and Jimin in return did a few chores and management things on the side as he made his new temporarily permanent place of rest ‘some couch somewhere’.
About a month ago, Taehyung had grown so fed up with Jimin randomly packing up his things and leaving after a week or so before coming back a week later, he’d sat him down and told him to stay. So, currently, ‘home’ is Taehyung and Jeongguk’s couch that has seen better and worse things than Jimin sleeping on it every night. It isn’t ideal, but it works.
It is also where Jimin finds himself the evening of one of the biggest snow storms in the last few years, bundled up and dreading the morning commute, trying to navigate craigslist.
Initially, Jimin had been extremely wary of craigslist. As far as he knew, it was basically like Russian Roulette and there was a very high chance he might be getting into something shady. But then Taehyung laughed in his face about this, explaining that he met Jeongguk on craigslist for roommates and Jeongguk was about as much of a creep as Julie Andrews is.
(“Are you sure she’s not a creep?” Jeongguk asked, craning his head from where he was decisively playing Minecraft.
“She’s like the queen of the world or something, least creepy woman in the universe, everyone wants to be her child,” Taehyung argued.
“I don’t,” Jeongguk said pointedly, petulantly, persnicketedly.
“Yeah, well, you eat eggs with mayonnaise, you can’t be trusted,” Taehyung shrugged before opening up craigslist on Jimin’s laptop in an incognito window.)
Jimin found out why it had to be ‘incognito’ when Taehyung explained his favorite craigslist ‘game’. The game was extremely simple: go on craigslist and try to find the most ‘impressive’ personal ad. In truth, it was really just an exploration and reveal of how much of people Jimin didn’t want to know about, but there was something fascinating about it. From ‘maintenance men’ to ‘ARMPITS!!!’ and ‘diaper boys delivery’, craigslist legitimately had it all.
“You can’t judge them,” Taehyung had told Jimin firmly when Jimin stared at the ad for ‘TRUCKERS DESPERATELY WANTED - m4m.’ “They’re just people, like you, but with better awareness of their kinks.”
Jimin didn’t really know what kinks were, or what they entail, and there was massive part of him that is entirely disturbed by how much Taehyung knows about them. He’s become less clueless, but that doesn’t mean it wasn’t disconcerting to watch Taehyung eat spoonfulls of chocolate spread, wearing a bear pajama onesie as he explained casually about the differences in D/s and Pet play and how the actual term for someone who has no kinks is actually given the kink name of ‘vanilla sex.’
Regardless, the whole ordeal ended up making Jimin curious, wondering if he actually possesses any kinks (Taehyung is convinced he has them but, because he’s a shit, refuses to tell Jimin what they are and just grins at him childishly, which in and of itself is off-putting). So curious, in fact, that he somehow, always, ends in the ‘personals’ section of craigslist even when he’s not supposed to be there.
It’s not even about the sex, it’s just that Jimin has to know damn it and there’s something oddly fascinating about reading all the wanted ads. He’s learned a lot, mostly all things he is not into (the list is large and learning about vore has scarred him for life), and become extremely confused on many other accounts.
It’s unfortunately what he’s doing this evening when the snow is still falling outside, and the internal debate of ‘do I even bother to go to work tomorrow?’ It’s how Taehyung finds him, scaring Jimin nearly half to death as he flops on his shoulders from behind and breathes wetly into his ear, smelling strongly of chips, “find anything interesting?”
“N-no!” Jimin says, quickly switching tabs on his browser to bring back the weather maps of the storm. It just shows a mass of green and red, like a menacing Christmas card of winter revenge.
“Aw, c’mon,” Taehyung whines, poking Jimin’s tummy over and over, crowding him on the couch. “I’m bored, what did you find? You can’t play craigslist without me, that’s like cheating!”
“How is it cheating?” Jimin asks, and gives up when Taehyung lets out another whine and manages to open the proper tab. “I’m not even playing, I was just-“
“Looking up long lost love stories?” Taehyung asks, looking at the post titled ‘lost our car on the 402, trying to find you’. “Seriously?”
“All the other posts were extremely self explanatory,” Jimin tries to explain. “They’re all basically ‘suck my dick,’ or a variation of it.”
“What about this one?” Taehyung asks, clicking on an entry labeled ‘looking for male for SNG situation (NW)’ that Jimin had avoided, not sure he wanted to know what SNG meant. (He’d tried looking it up but was pretty sure ‘synthetic natural gas’ wasn’t what it meant, and if it did mean that, Jimin was not curious).
“Dunno,” Jimin admits, wincing preemptively for a dick picture to greet him (he’s seen too many and also too few, which he doesn’t want to explain really). “I didn’t know what SNG means.” He pauses, and glances at Taehyung who is still draped over him. “Do you-“
“No, why else would I click the ad?” Taehyung scoffs at him.
“You’d click it anyway.”
“Shovel and go,” Taehyung says, and Jimin blinks.
“What?”
“Read.” Taehyung knocks his head against Jimin’s, redirecting his attention to Jimin’s computer as a wide smile begins to spread on his face.
Kinky married white male looking for strong male to fulfill a fantasy.
I’m looking for a HOT, discreet, “shovel and go” situation where you drive up and shovel all this snow from my driveway and sidewalk and then just leave.
I cannot explain how HOT this would be. No pics necessary.
“What the fuck?” Jimin breathes, frowning, but none the less-
“Damn,” Taehyung says. He’s grinning ear to ear when Jimin turns to him, and it makes something squirm in warning in his stomach. Jimin chooses to ignore it, wondering where Taehyung will go with this. He’s certainly interested (something with Jimin envies, how Taehyung is absolutely fascinated by this, like it’s the greatest thing in the world).
“Is this for real?” Jimin asks, not entirely sure if he can take the add seriously. Someone wouldn’t really want this, right? It doesn’t seem very kinky to him.
“I think it is,” Taehyung says, and finally clambers over the back of the couch to slot against Jimin’s side. He wets his lips before turning to Jimin, eyes shining and looking very serious. “Remember that time you wondered if you were an exhibitionist?”
“No,” Jimin says flatly, even if his cheeks flare hot. He hadn’t really wondered, it was just a passing thought that was entirely perpetuated by Jeongguk at one point calling him a stripper because of noraebang. It was one time and Hoseok had definitely told him to take his shirt off.
“Well, I feel like this is your chance,” Taehyung says, looking back at the ad like it’s a message from the Gods. “There’s no other kinks in this, just really PG exhibitionism and voyeurism.”
“Voyeurism?”
“Well, he’ll be watching you shovel,” Taehyung explains. “Maybe even jacking off as you shovel-“ Jimin can feel his cheeks grow hotter, that squirm in his stomach worse - “or doing something else. And if you go, there’s literally no reason for you to do anything. You just go, see if you get aroused, and then leave. Jack off in your car or something.”
“But-“
“It’s the opportunity of a lifetime,” Taehyung says emphatically. “You’d be a moron not to do it. Don’t be lame, Jimin.”
“I’m not lame,” Jimin bristles, frowning as he thinks of the only other person he knows who legitimately calls him ‘lame’ whenever he sees him. Maybe it’s because Jimin is already embarrassed because of this, or maybe it’s because the whole thing does make him curious, but while he’d usually be able to ignore Taehyung calling him lame, this time it makes him agitated. “Fine!”
“You won’t regret this,” Taehyung practically mouth breathes at him, leaning into his side as Jimin clicks the ‘reply’ button.
“I hope not,” Jimin says, and his insides squirm uncomfortably.
tagging ceeri for your next turn! Good luck and have fun!