Wakeboarding

[lee_terati]

Challenge Name: Lost
Prompt: 'I really don't think we should be in here.'
Title: Wakeboarding
Rating: G
Word Count: 567
Author's Notes:

Comments

[not_quite_queen]

Lol, I love it!

I was unsure about the purely dialogue thing, but you pulled it off! It's wonderful and humorous.

[lee_terati]

I don't even know how the dialogue thing started - this piece wrote itself.

Thank you - I'm glad you liked it.

[ashrayne]

First of all, I envy your dialog skills. With no extraneous description, I felt as though I was there, watching everything unfold, even in the scene where Angie is talking to her boss. I felt like I could see his face, even.

Second of all, this was just very well written all around. I love the stereo-typicalness of the roles. That last scene is too funny! And the whole piece is such an accurate reflection of human nature, both male and female.

Great, great job!

[lee_terati]

Thank you - you are a great support. I realy appreciate it.

I did see a sort of irresponsible father teaching his very young son the fine art of wakeboarding...and then this piece just happened. One of those things :)

[saare_snowqueen]

This is great. What a creep the husband is - I'll bet he put his son up to getting injured just so he could get a look a the boss' house

[lee_terati]

Thank you - it was nice to write something light after so many deep pieces.

I think he wanted to make a MAN out of his very young son. You know, no sissies in this house and I will have to take care of that becase his mother babies him? That kind of person.

[saare_snowqueen]

I know OF them - fortunately I was never married to one.

[dibmagician]

I'm super impressed by the way that you can make a great story without descriptions; in my opinion, it takes a lot more skill to transport the audience into the story without the obvious imagery, and you nailed it.

[lee_terati]

Thank you very, very much. I have to admit that the piece wrote itself.

Watersports

[lavericknine]

Since I was into water sports since I was around five I find the inaccuracies irritating. It's harder to learn water sports and recover from them as you get older. I never learned to wakeboard, it's really hard to get up. The board's heavy and you're heavier. It's also very different from skiing, you can't get up if you don't position the board right or if it's too heavy. It takes more strength than any other water sport I've tried. If I were to learn it now I would go from skiing to wakeboard. It's harder to lose the board if it's the right size and it's nearly (leaving room for the possibility) impossible to get up if it's too big.

Aside from all of that it's impressive that you told the whole story in dialog (It's like a free style poem) and you incorporated the phrase. The dad's weird. I didn't really get the humor out of this. The roles are very stereotypical, but I don't find it funny.

Re: Watersports

[lee_terati]

Sorry it didn't work for you.