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[violetdusk]

Sunday's picture prompt. I've been in "heavy" mode for some reason but this is what I did with the hour, albeit on my third try.

Comments

[moonstruckpoet]

wow.

wow.

I got nothing. That was beautiful.

L

[violetdusk]

Thank you very much =)

Any suggestions on a title? I am the worst with titles.

[calliopeiamuse]

Wow. Absolutely. Fantastic. One nit-pick that I cringe to type:

"A cemetery baby. Do you know what that is?" needs to be
"A cemetery, baby. Do you know what that is?" Otherwise we are left to wonder what exactly a cemetery baby is.

I would suggest simply titling it "My Daffodil".

[violetdusk]

Thank you for pointing that out. =) And thanks for the praise. I was also thinking something simple for the title, I like your suggestion!

[rare_exile]

On that note, I see another place where you're missing a comma:

I plant these seeds for you baby,
should be
I plant these seeds for you, baby,

That's the only point of order I have. I really liked this.

[violetdusk]

Thanks for the heads up. And thanks for the compliment. =)

[journeys__end]

It's incredibly emotional. I love emotion. I was tearing up by the end. So you are very effective in this regard.

I think the story unfolds very nicely. I was drawn in immediately by your use of language (beautiful, by the way).

You know, I don't have anything for you to change. So I'll just stop. It's very beautifully written.

[violetdusk]

Thank you very very much =)

[carolwatson]

I have a question.

You asked if yours could be yellow like my hair.

Why would the child want the flowers springing out of her dead body to be the color of her mothers hair? Or am I reading this wrong?

I love the premise on this by the way, not many people would take that prompt here. It's fresh and thought provoking.

[violetdusk]

Children always pick things that resemble their parents. Her favorite color is yellow because it reminds her of her mommy.

I dunno.

Thank you, I was a little nervous about taking that prompt because not many people would. Honestly though, it just sort of came out of me. I didn't really think too much about it. After it was written I read over it like ten times before I actually worked up the nerve to post it, so thank you again. =)

[carolwatson]

You're right that does make sense, I just wasnt thinking of it that way. And you're very welcome.