"She steals papers scarves hats which later, much later, or, perhaps sooner, you will find and"
I do not like the lack of punctuation here when everything else is punctuated normal. Maybe spaces between words, to act as pauses? I don't know why you end the line on "and".
The castle metaphor actually kind of bugged me (seemed too easy?) Actually, what probably bothered me was that it was brought in at the end, breaking what i felt was the established tone of the poem, rather than near the beginning.
As for the castle metaphor, I originally meant it to mirror the architectural references at the beginning but cut out the corresponding language/description. D'oh. Thanks for pointing that out!
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scarves hats which
later, much later,
or, perhaps sooner,
you will find and"
I do not like the lack of punctuation here
when everything else is punctuated normal.
Maybe spaces between words, to act as pauses?
I don't know why you end the line on "and".
The castle metaphor actually kind of bugged me (seemed too easy?) Actually, what probably bothered me was that it was brought in at the end, breaking what i felt was the established tone of the poem, rather than near the beginning.
Reply
As for the castle metaphor, I originally meant it to mirror the architectural references at the beginning but cut out the corresponding language/description. D'oh. Thanks for pointing that out!
Reply
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