Please crit?

Jan 06, 2007 02:07

A project with three parts, the first being an objective third person, the second being one of the characters involved and the third being more of an introspection. Warning: Slash

Twilight )

type: prose, user: mystik_serena

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Comments 23

dragonlaire January 7 2007, 01:43:04 UTC
Is "slash" a regional term for gay fiction? I live in San Francisco and have never heard the term before. On the other hand, I'm usually out of touch with most changes in cultural preferences, so that may be a reflection of my own ignorance ( ... )

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mystik_serena January 7 2007, 02:06:08 UTC
Thank you so much. I know I've got flaws that I can't see, which is why I'm here ^^.

Slash was a term that originated with fanfiction, which is why a lot of people here don't seem to know what it is. It's mostly internet slang to the best of my knowledge...

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v_huss January 7 2007, 02:40:54 UTC
One thing I find problematic is that you keep mentioning Aurele's memories, but never reveal much about them. You hint, but you don't reveal ( ... )

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blue_thundering January 8 2007, 05:54:53 UTC
Just a quick head's up about "slash":

Slash as a term comes, as deadsong pointed out, from the phrasing of a pairing -- the first, most notable example being Kirk/Spock.

However, there's another level to the term that hasn't been mentioned here -- namely, that it's about subverting the original work. Thus anime like Gravitation can't be "slashed" because the pairings are already male/male; in that case, "slashing" would almost be having the main character fall in love with a girl instead.

As such, if this is your original work, it really can't be slash, because the canon of the work is itself not being subverted by the pairing: the canonical pairing is already male/male.

That said, regarding the writing itself: I agree one-hundred-percent with chibibluebird; these characters are ridiculously feminine, to the point that even as women they'd seem overly dramatic. This is a common mistake for those writing male/male relationships, however, and it really comes down to why you're writing this story in the first place. I wrote in fandoms throughout my ( ... )

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