The Pattern and the Weave
Who: Songbird and Xemnas
What: Songbird and Xemnas have tea. Xemnas pontificates... but this time, he reveals the full scope of his Ultimate Plan. Songbird has her worldview shaken.
When: The afternoon the day before Songbird's Post
Where: Traverse Town (APPARENTLY. GIVE ME A MOMENT WHILE I EDIT. OOPS.)
Notes: NOTE TO MODS: Given that I had to come up with SOMETHING on short notice, I took some MAJOR HUGE GIANT LIBERTIES WITH XEMNAS' GOALS. seriously, I had to think of SOMETHING for his "New World" to be like, and just "LOL DARKNESS" or "LOL NOTHINGNESS" didn't sit right with me.
IF YOU HAVE ANY ISSUE WITH THIS IDEA, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD CONTACT ME so we can discuss something else for Xemnas to want (besides JUST his heart or some undefined new world. becuase I think he'd want something more than just that.)
Xemnas stepped out of the portal into the woods just outside the city walls. Pulling on a pair of sunglasses, he surveyed his surroundings, feeling the number of people just beyond the wall, sensing the Dusks just out of sight in the Shadow Corridors.
He had dressed for the occasion, not wishing to draw too much attention to himself. He wore a simple white dress shirt and black pants - elegant, stylish, and effective. Around his neck was a thin silver chain graced with a small pendant in the shape of a Nobody symbol - a touch upon which Luxord and Xigbar had insisted. His hair was actually tied back with a thin black and white ribbon - though he had made no effort to disguise its colour. The Refugees might recognize him, but he was confidant that no one else would give him a second glance. The sunglasses, though odd in a city where it was never day,were necessary: orange eyes were rather distinctive, to say the least.
Thus, he stepped out into the city, and made his way to the cafe - appearing, to all who looked at him, just another ordinary human out doing ordinary human things.
Songbird had arrived early, allowing herself a few minutes at least to settle and organize her thoughts. She had chosen a seat in the corner with her back to the wall, more out of habit and instinct than conscious precaution. She was dressed as usual, in a thin, black sweater and matching pants. Simple to the point of being ignorable, if it weren't for her eye-catching pale blonde hair.
She caught sight of Xemnas the moment he came into view, but made no move to greet him. She only watched.
Xemnas felt her before he saw her, the bleak absence of a Nobody's scent standing out like a flash of burning magnesium in a pitch-black room. He gave her the slightest nod of acknowledgement before moving over to her table. "Might I sit?" he asked, observing the formal rules that the social situation called for (at least, as he remembered them.)
She waved her hand in a vague gesture at the place across from her. "Be my guest." A pause, perhaps to study his appearance. "...I have not ordered anything yet. I was not sure what kind of tea you prefer."
"Earl Grey will suffice," he said, pulling out the chair and sitting down. He remained silent for some time, not looking at anything particular, simply musing to himself.
Songbird waved over the waitress who, lacking any other customers at the moment, had been loitering around rather uncertainly. "A pot of Earl Grey and two cups, please."
When the waitress scurried off, she turned her full attention back to the more powerful Nobody. "So, Xemnas. I asked for this meeting because I want to get to know you, in the hope that I can better understand you and possibly work with you on certain things." Her voice and face were perfectly neutral. Lacking a heart at least nullified any anger she might otherwise feel towards her enemy, leaving her mind clear to deal with him as she wished.
He found the whole meeting quite strange. True, the girl was a Nobody and thus easier to relate to... but he still found the inhabitants of Earth to be, as a whole, difficult to understand. "If that is what you wish," he said, "I offer no guarantees that I will consider your offer; though as always I offer the option of joining me." He paused. "On the other hand, I promise that these meetings will be conducted with civility."
"I did not expect you to guarantee anything. As always, I merely wish to try. As for joining you... I have considered it, depending on the circumstances. We may discuss that later, though."
The tea arrived, sooner than expected. She had mentioned that she would be ordering the drink, so it was not too surprising that the water had been boiled in advance. Songbird poured herself a cup and watched the steam rise. "I suppose the first thing I want to ask is; what are your goals, exactly? What do you want for yourself, and why?"
He considered. Honesty? Or pretty lies? Which to tell? What would benefit him most?
"My goal," he said, slowly, "Is to generate a new Kingdom Hearts. My calculations have determined that by gathering a critical mass in one location I may create a new heart to the universe, and thereby create a new universe, ending this one and bringing forth a new one from the ashes. In doing so, I may first give myself and all Nobodies what we all crave - completion. I may, at last, both gain a new heart - one not so keen on abandoning me - and furthermore unlock my lost memories of Xehanort. Not to mention restoring my companion's humanity. In addition to this, I may design the universe as I see fit... making a perfect world."
She took a few seconds to let his words sink in.
"... Do you believe that the current universe is beyond hope of being repaired? Your cause would be an admirable one, if it would not result in the destruction of this universe's current inhabitants.<"
"They will be reborn when the new world is completed. And it is not a matter of it being beyond repair. It simply... displeases me. It always has..." he said. "I have never fit in here. Even when I had a heart, this place was... not right. Therefore I seek to make it right."
"The universe is a broad expanse. Surely there is at least one world that would suit you. Besides that, rebirth is not quite enough to make up for murder. Reincarnated or not, they would still lose the lives they live now. Some might prefer that. Most, I think, would not."
"I have walked to every corner of the universe. I have not found a place where I belong. And perhaps, but they will not know until they see the dreams I've dreamed..."
It was most curious. For one who claimed to be without passion, there was such passion in his voice when he spoke of his new world.
"Fair enough. That subject is too uncertain to go on with, for the moment." And so she changed it. "How much do you know about these apparently prophetic games? I remember nothing, but knowing how videogames and stories typically work, I can only assume that the hero wins and the villain's evil plot is thwarted. How do you intend to change that fate? I can guess that you hoped to obtain details of the hero's success from the Refugees, but we no longer remember."
"About the Prophecy?" he said, slowly stirring his tea. "I know all there is to know. I gleaned much from what your people had to say of it, and from what was left of your internet. And once Earth returned, I had one of my comrades obtain copies of all the official material related to it. I have analyzed, I have read the analysis of others."
"In other words, we truly are useless now. I see." Her neutral tone may have held the slightest hint of cynicism. "Another question, then. Why do you seek to destroy the Nobodies who have defected? Do you actually care enough to want revenge?"
"It is not a matter of vengeance. It is a matter of logic. They have defected; they are very likely going to turn against me. Possibly by working with the Refugees, as you all seem quite firmly set against me as well. Indeed, the Prophecy says as much. There is too much risk involved. Furthermore, Roxas is more than vital to my plans. I cannot afford to have him slain, not unless he is beyond hope."
She nodded once. It was the expected answer. Songbird simply preferred not to leave anything potentially important to assumption.
"I spoke with Roxas before he left you. He was almost certain even then that your Organization was the wrong choice for him. He said that you were a tyrant. If he is so important to you, why would you force so much control over him that it ultimately turned him against you? Or did you not consider the effect it might have?"
"I was trying to keep him safe," he said. "Given how important he is, it was imperative that he not be seized by any others. And there were others seeking him. Furthermore, the nature of his role in our Organization means that he needed to work quite hard... I still do not know why he left, entirely. We did not treat him badly..."
"He said that he doubted the surety of your plan because you were withholding all but the minimal amount of information. He was also disappointed in you when he learned of me, but that was a more personal matter."
She sipped her tea carefully.
"I remember one of his other comments, suddenly. He mentioned you while we discussed the subject of emotion. I would like to ask you myself - what is your perception of the emotional remnants we do still feel? Do you consider them real, or at least a trace of something real? It is not relevant, perhaps, but I'm sure you've noticed the extent of my curiosity."
He considered carefully before speaking, taking a long pause. "It is memory. It is logic. It is knowledge of how we should behave in a given situation... not something we really feel. Something we cling to in times of need. We do feel certain things though. Desire, for one. Fear, for another. The desire is a ravaging, instinctual thing, an all-consuming need to be whole... give in to that, and you become a Dusk. And as for fear? That is an all-consuming need to survive. This keeps us alive; but at the same time, giving into it will cause you to lose what little you have left of yourself. But such complex things as love? as hate? These are beyond us. We can remember easily anger, despair, rage... but true hate? No. And love, joy, peace, serenity... these we can only pretend to have."
"Amazing how powerful memories are, if Roxas can remember the feeling of friendship even when he has no memories of his previous life." She did not finish with a question, for once, but still looked at him expectantly after completing the thought.
"There are more memories than simple event-memories. Memories of friendship would be a procedural memory. Roxas is suffering from retrograde amnesia concerning his declarative memory. He has no problems with his procedural memory, which is where knowing friendship would be stored. Besides which, given how he has been treating you Refugees, not to mention Axel, I rather doubt his ability to truly recall what 'friendship' is." he said, simply, not even considering that his audience might not understand the psychological terms he was blithely throwing about.
"I would regret to say that I've never heard some of those terms, but I can guess their meanings by context. As for the boy's attitude, he is confused. No, he does not truly care. Of course not. Yet there is something between him and Axel. He shows it not with kindness, but protectiveness." Despite her sense of caution, she decided to take a chance then. "For the sake of encouraging honesty, I will admit to you that I was the cause of Axel's desertion. If I had not encouraged him to hold onto what little emotion he had in the form of that bond, he would have stayed in your Organization, because Roxas made him promise to. The last thing Roxas wanted was to endanger him. I sympathize, as much as I can. I am equally protective over some of the Refugees."
"It is an interesting thing," he said. "You have proved to me that fate can be changed, for Axel leaving at this point runs contrary to the Prophecy. This is... fortunate. Indeed, for all you are aware, by changing that one event you may have ensured my victory. A butterfly's wings, as they say..." he sipped his tea. His sunglasses had slipped down slightly - whether it was intentional or accidental was impossible to determine - and he watched her with an intense orange gaze.
"Hm," she made a noncommittal sound and mirrored him by taking another sip from her own cup. "It is a possibility, but with fate broken once, I suppose the future could go in any direction now. I do look forward to remembering this 'Prophecy', I can tell you that."
She met his eyes evenly, her own the perfect opposite and complimentary color to his. Just one more miniscule point of irony. "Since it relates to the subject of Roxas and his choice, what are your thoughts and 'feelings' concerning me as a fellow Nobody, yet a Refugee as well?"
He shrugged. "I offered to take you into our ranks. You refused. I still think that this was a poor choice on your part. On the other hand, you do not seem powerful enough for me to pursue, or to bother destroying. You have not manifested any Element or Weapon... indeed, you seem barely above a Dusk."
"I will not say that it was a poor choice, but it is one that might be changed, under the correct circumstances. I don't believe that your path is the right one, and I still seek to find another way to restore our hearts, but I lack your knowledge and resources.
If I did change my mind, it would be under the condition that you not harm the Refugees or the renegade Nobodies. However, from what you've said, I can assume that a weak Nobody like myself would not be worth that risk."
Path. His path. Always talking about his path; and so little they truly understood. He could not be annoyed, though there was a faint memory of frustration - of anger at his mentor for simply not understanding what he was saying about the Dark, about Light, about everything... a shame, it truly was. As his heart had once said (though in much plainer terms), 'Qui nil scit, nil agnoscit'.
"Do you even know, in the end, what my path is?" he said, finally, "You have all assumed that you know. And... you would have to prove that you are worth the risk, I am afraid."
Songbird sighed, perhaps beginning to let go, slightly, of the blank demeanor that was unnatural even for a Nobody. "I must have known, when I still remembered what you call the Prophecy. Back then, I was so sure that you were wrong and that your stubborn arrogance would lead only to your fall. Now I have only the memory of that sense, with no factual basis. However, the other Refugees feel the same. Obviously, since you hope to change that Prophecy, those memories were true. I cannot see from where I stand currently how Twilight could be more good than Light. Painfully cliche`, I know, but such things are often cliche` for a reason."
"So. Tell me, then," he said, amber eyes still locked upon her, a hawk's glare, "Just what is it that you think I am trying to do? I am curious to know."
"Clearly, you want a heart, and you have also promised hearts to all of your followers. From what I understand and can assume, you have a system to achieve that which involves gathering as many lost hearts as possible. A dreadfully destructive method... Even if it is the only way, I cannot see how thousands of deaths are an acceptable price to restore a dozen hearts." Another sip to clear her throat. "You have also mentioned that you want to create a new universe because you don't 'fit in'. However, you must admit how selfish that sounds. Is there more?"
He was silent for some time then, contemplating. How much should he say, about his plan? It was not as if anyone truly understood what he was trying to do, not even his own companions. Well... Zexion and Lexaeus had understood; but they were dead. Xigbar and Xaldin understood, after a fashion... but no others. Not really. He had not even told most of them the extent of what he was trying to do.
But then again... then again...
"Firstly, it is not a dozen hearts. Have you forgotten the Dusks? There are thousands of them."
"A thousand to a dozen, a million to a thousand... It is still uneven," she countered easily.
"But then there is more. I want you to consider this: Kingdom Hearts. It is the heart of all things. The heart of all that lives. The heart of the universe itself. True, at present, I am merely driven to gain my heart back. This is the curse of all Nobodies. And I am further driven by my missing memories. It is for that reason that my heart deigned to cast me off in the first place (and he did not find what he was seeking, either.) But there is more. There is so much more that can be had...so much more, more than this. Imagine a world where we are all gods. where we may deign to create what we will. How we will. Dark, light, twilight; it matters not. To stare out across the void and will into being what we dream. So that all may have their worlds. To go off away from the rest and to be alone with our creations... or to collaborate with others... to simply dream. Nothing more. To dream in the chaos of the void, to dream life into being. This is the world that I will create. Where none are puppeted by the forces of Light and Dark. Where we are not slaves to our lost memories. Where I am not a slave to my lost memories. Or to anything."
The Nobody woman's expression conveyed confusion, uncertainty. This was something new. She took a long drink of the bitter Earl Grey, and the small part of her mind that was not entirely shocked wished that she had ordered something sweet.
"You... Why... did you keep this a secret?" Even after moments had passed, she was still near-speechless. Something in his words had struck her. Hard.
"Because no one understands this. I cannot even fully explain the concept to anyone at all. Braig, Dilan, Eleaus, and Ienzo understood; Even never did but he was too curious not to try; and Ansem... never would. Ever. Besides, then... then it was more about memory, and less about... this. This came out of... finding a new purpose. A way to transcend my lack of knowing who, and what, I was."
By this point, as she continued to absorb the full meaning of his previous words, Songbird's appearance had changed almost entirely in regards to 'emotional' display. Always trying so hard to be honest, she had shunned even the Noboddy instinct to fake emotions. Despite all that, though, her current expression was one of pure wonder.
"... I understand," she murmured softly. "I... Robin, I mean, once dreamed of exactly that. What you describe is beautiful. Perfect, as much as any reality can be. But... How can you possibly hope to shape such a universe?"
"How can I not hope? I will have the heart of all reality at my fingertips. With such power, anything is possible. The deaths of my companions? Meaningless, when with a thought I might resurrect them... whole and complete again, as well. The deaths of billions of people? Again, meaningless. They will not even remember what occurred, with such power. It is for the greater good. As always."
She shook her head, but not in negation of his words. "You need not continue. I agree. I cannot express how... amazed I am by this revelation. I misjudged you. However..." Having regained most of her composure, she finished off the tea in her cup, never breaking eye contact. "I still do not understand how it is possible. If you can prove to me that you will have the ability to create this universe you describe... If you can assure it's creation provided this adventure goes your way, then... I cannot oppose you."
He nodded. "I will send you what data I have gathered. I cannot guarantee that you will be able to understand it all. But ten years of study by the remnants of the most talented minds in this universe should suffice, I think."
Her narrowed gaze was, if not distrustful, at least obviously cautious. He was, until a moment ago, her enemy.
"I am scientifically minded, but not yet well studied. Would you be able to provide notes and translations where necessary?"
"I can attempt it, yes. I will also have Xigbar reformat the simulations for you computer as best he can. They were designed to run on immersive world-emulators, like the Space Paranoids mainframe."
"If it would make things easier, I would not be opposed to visiting your... what is it? A castle? Your base. You must have a computer that can run the simulations. Perhaps you or one of your followers could guide me through it, instead of worrying about notes and explanations for what I don't yet understand."
She took a deep breath, still rattled, though her poker face was back in place. She had not expected this in the least...
"If that is your wish, miss Songbird," he said. "You are welcome in our castle. I will tell the others to let you through, should you arrive without an escort. The Dusks may be suspicious, but if you speak with them and tell them that I have given you permission to be there, they should relent. If any of them give you trouble do inform me."
"Thank you..." Her gaze slipped down to stare in the general direction of the teapot as she let her mind organize this new revelation.
" I want you to know, Xemnas, that this truly fascinates me. When... When She was a child, her greatest wish was to find a door to another world, because she did not fit in on Earth. When she matured enough to understand the impossibility of that wish, her dreams were the only thing left to her. Awake or asleep, she learned to immerse herself in them, and control them. The worlds and wonders she created... she held them closer to her heart than anything else, and it pained her more than anything to think that they might never be known."
"So... I do understand."
He did not smile. That was not his way. He did tilt his head a single degree, however, and there was a slight change in his eyes - a tightening about the edges, perhaps. "I look forward to your visit, miss Songbird," he said, "And it would be a fine thing if you were to join our family, even knowing what the future has to say about our chances."
Her eyes flicked back up to meet his again, but more hesitantly this time, for some reason. "Again, thank you. I think I will go now, unless there is anything else. I have much to think about."
He nodded, finishing his tea. "And I have business to attend to, I am afraid." He bowed, slightly, sliding his glasses back up to hide his eyes. "Good day, miss Songbird." With that, he turned and walked off into the starlit streets, soon vanishing into the crowd as if he'd never been there at all.
Songbird lingered to watch him go, thoughtfully, before paying for the tea in a distracted sort of way and departing as well.
What: Songbird and Xemnas have tea. Xemnas pontificates... but this time, he reveals the full scope of his Ultimate Plan. Songbird has her worldview shaken.
When: The afternoon the day before Songbird's Post
Where: Traverse Town (APPARENTLY. GIVE ME A MOMENT WHILE I EDIT. OOPS.)
Notes: NOTE TO MODS: Given that I had to come up with SOMETHING on short notice, I took some MAJOR HUGE GIANT LIBERTIES WITH XEMNAS' GOALS. seriously, I had to think of SOMETHING for his "New World" to be like, and just "LOL DARKNESS" or "LOL NOTHINGNESS" didn't sit right with me.
IF YOU HAVE ANY ISSUE WITH THIS IDEA, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD CONTACT ME so we can discuss something else for Xemnas to want (besides JUST his heart or some undefined new world. becuase I think he'd want something more than just that.)
Xemnas stepped out of the portal into the woods just outside the city walls. Pulling on a pair of sunglasses, he surveyed his surroundings, feeling the number of people just beyond the wall, sensing the Dusks just out of sight in the Shadow Corridors.
He had dressed for the occasion, not wishing to draw too much attention to himself. He wore a simple white dress shirt and black pants - elegant, stylish, and effective. Around his neck was a thin silver chain graced with a small pendant in the shape of a Nobody symbol - a touch upon which Luxord and Xigbar had insisted. His hair was actually tied back with a thin black and white ribbon - though he had made no effort to disguise its colour. The Refugees might recognize him, but he was confidant that no one else would give him a second glance. The sunglasses, though odd in a city where it was never day,were necessary: orange eyes were rather distinctive, to say the least.
Thus, he stepped out into the city, and made his way to the cafe - appearing, to all who looked at him, just another ordinary human out doing ordinary human things.
Songbird had arrived early, allowing herself a few minutes at least to settle and organize her thoughts. She had chosen a seat in the corner with her back to the wall, more out of habit and instinct than conscious precaution. She was dressed as usual, in a thin, black sweater and matching pants. Simple to the point of being ignorable, if it weren't for her eye-catching pale blonde hair.
She caught sight of Xemnas the moment he came into view, but made no move to greet him. She only watched.
Xemnas felt her before he saw her, the bleak absence of a Nobody's scent standing out like a flash of burning magnesium in a pitch-black room. He gave her the slightest nod of acknowledgement before moving over to her table. "Might I sit?" he asked, observing the formal rules that the social situation called for (at least, as he remembered them.)
She waved her hand in a vague gesture at the place across from her. "Be my guest." A pause, perhaps to study his appearance. "...I have not ordered anything yet. I was not sure what kind of tea you prefer."
"Earl Grey will suffice," he said, pulling out the chair and sitting down. He remained silent for some time, not looking at anything particular, simply musing to himself.
Songbird waved over the waitress who, lacking any other customers at the moment, had been loitering around rather uncertainly. "A pot of Earl Grey and two cups, please."
When the waitress scurried off, she turned her full attention back to the more powerful Nobody. "So, Xemnas. I asked for this meeting because I want to get to know you, in the hope that I can better understand you and possibly work with you on certain things." Her voice and face were perfectly neutral. Lacking a heart at least nullified any anger she might otherwise feel towards her enemy, leaving her mind clear to deal with him as she wished.
He found the whole meeting quite strange. True, the girl was a Nobody and thus easier to relate to... but he still found the inhabitants of Earth to be, as a whole, difficult to understand. "If that is what you wish," he said, "I offer no guarantees that I will consider your offer; though as always I offer the option of joining me." He paused. "On the other hand, I promise that these meetings will be conducted with civility."
"I did not expect you to guarantee anything. As always, I merely wish to try. As for joining you... I have considered it, depending on the circumstances. We may discuss that later, though."
The tea arrived, sooner than expected. She had mentioned that she would be ordering the drink, so it was not too surprising that the water had been boiled in advance. Songbird poured herself a cup and watched the steam rise. "I suppose the first thing I want to ask is; what are your goals, exactly? What do you want for yourself, and why?"
He considered. Honesty? Or pretty lies? Which to tell? What would benefit him most?
"My goal," he said, slowly, "Is to generate a new Kingdom Hearts. My calculations have determined that by gathering a critical mass in one location I may create a new heart to the universe, and thereby create a new universe, ending this one and bringing forth a new one from the ashes. In doing so, I may first give myself and all Nobodies what we all crave - completion. I may, at last, both gain a new heart - one not so keen on abandoning me - and furthermore unlock my lost memories of Xehanort. Not to mention restoring my companion's humanity. In addition to this, I may design the universe as I see fit... making a perfect world."
She took a few seconds to let his words sink in.
"... Do you believe that the current universe is beyond hope of being repaired? Your cause would be an admirable one, if it would not result in the destruction of this universe's current inhabitants.<"
"They will be reborn when the new world is completed. And it is not a matter of it being beyond repair. It simply... displeases me. It always has..." he said. "I have never fit in here. Even when I had a heart, this place was... not right. Therefore I seek to make it right."
"The universe is a broad expanse. Surely there is at least one world that would suit you. Besides that, rebirth is not quite enough to make up for murder. Reincarnated or not, they would still lose the lives they live now. Some might prefer that. Most, I think, would not."
"I have walked to every corner of the universe. I have not found a place where I belong. And perhaps, but they will not know until they see the dreams I've dreamed..."
It was most curious. For one who claimed to be without passion, there was such passion in his voice when he spoke of his new world.
"Fair enough. That subject is too uncertain to go on with, for the moment." And so she changed it. "How much do you know about these apparently prophetic games? I remember nothing, but knowing how videogames and stories typically work, I can only assume that the hero wins and the villain's evil plot is thwarted. How do you intend to change that fate? I can guess that you hoped to obtain details of the hero's success from the Refugees, but we no longer remember."
"About the Prophecy?" he said, slowly stirring his tea. "I know all there is to know. I gleaned much from what your people had to say of it, and from what was left of your internet. And once Earth returned, I had one of my comrades obtain copies of all the official material related to it. I have analyzed, I have read the analysis of others."
"In other words, we truly are useless now. I see." Her neutral tone may have held the slightest hint of cynicism. "Another question, then. Why do you seek to destroy the Nobodies who have defected? Do you actually care enough to want revenge?"
"It is not a matter of vengeance. It is a matter of logic. They have defected; they are very likely going to turn against me. Possibly by working with the Refugees, as you all seem quite firmly set against me as well. Indeed, the Prophecy says as much. There is too much risk involved. Furthermore, Roxas is more than vital to my plans. I cannot afford to have him slain, not unless he is beyond hope."
She nodded once. It was the expected answer. Songbird simply preferred not to leave anything potentially important to assumption.
"I spoke with Roxas before he left you. He was almost certain even then that your Organization was the wrong choice for him. He said that you were a tyrant. If he is so important to you, why would you force so much control over him that it ultimately turned him against you? Or did you not consider the effect it might have?"
"I was trying to keep him safe," he said. "Given how important he is, it was imperative that he not be seized by any others. And there were others seeking him. Furthermore, the nature of his role in our Organization means that he needed to work quite hard... I still do not know why he left, entirely. We did not treat him badly..."
"He said that he doubted the surety of your plan because you were withholding all but the minimal amount of information. He was also disappointed in you when he learned of me, but that was a more personal matter."
She sipped her tea carefully.
"I remember one of his other comments, suddenly. He mentioned you while we discussed the subject of emotion. I would like to ask you myself - what is your perception of the emotional remnants we do still feel? Do you consider them real, or at least a trace of something real? It is not relevant, perhaps, but I'm sure you've noticed the extent of my curiosity."
He considered carefully before speaking, taking a long pause. "It is memory. It is logic. It is knowledge of how we should behave in a given situation... not something we really feel. Something we cling to in times of need. We do feel certain things though. Desire, for one. Fear, for another. The desire is a ravaging, instinctual thing, an all-consuming need to be whole... give in to that, and you become a Dusk. And as for fear? That is an all-consuming need to survive. This keeps us alive; but at the same time, giving into it will cause you to lose what little you have left of yourself. But such complex things as love? as hate? These are beyond us. We can remember easily anger, despair, rage... but true hate? No. And love, joy, peace, serenity... these we can only pretend to have."
"Amazing how powerful memories are, if Roxas can remember the feeling of friendship even when he has no memories of his previous life." She did not finish with a question, for once, but still looked at him expectantly after completing the thought.
"There are more memories than simple event-memories. Memories of friendship would be a procedural memory. Roxas is suffering from retrograde amnesia concerning his declarative memory. He has no problems with his procedural memory, which is where knowing friendship would be stored. Besides which, given how he has been treating you Refugees, not to mention Axel, I rather doubt his ability to truly recall what 'friendship' is." he said, simply, not even considering that his audience might not understand the psychological terms he was blithely throwing about.
"I would regret to say that I've never heard some of those terms, but I can guess their meanings by context. As for the boy's attitude, he is confused. No, he does not truly care. Of course not. Yet there is something between him and Axel. He shows it not with kindness, but protectiveness." Despite her sense of caution, she decided to take a chance then. "For the sake of encouraging honesty, I will admit to you that I was the cause of Axel's desertion. If I had not encouraged him to hold onto what little emotion he had in the form of that bond, he would have stayed in your Organization, because Roxas made him promise to. The last thing Roxas wanted was to endanger him. I sympathize, as much as I can. I am equally protective over some of the Refugees."
"It is an interesting thing," he said. "You have proved to me that fate can be changed, for Axel leaving at this point runs contrary to the Prophecy. This is... fortunate. Indeed, for all you are aware, by changing that one event you may have ensured my victory. A butterfly's wings, as they say..." he sipped his tea. His sunglasses had slipped down slightly - whether it was intentional or accidental was impossible to determine - and he watched her with an intense orange gaze.
"Hm," she made a noncommittal sound and mirrored him by taking another sip from her own cup. "It is a possibility, but with fate broken once, I suppose the future could go in any direction now. I do look forward to remembering this 'Prophecy', I can tell you that."
She met his eyes evenly, her own the perfect opposite and complimentary color to his. Just one more miniscule point of irony. "Since it relates to the subject of Roxas and his choice, what are your thoughts and 'feelings' concerning me as a fellow Nobody, yet a Refugee as well?"
He shrugged. "I offered to take you into our ranks. You refused. I still think that this was a poor choice on your part. On the other hand, you do not seem powerful enough for me to pursue, or to bother destroying. You have not manifested any Element or Weapon... indeed, you seem barely above a Dusk."
"I will not say that it was a poor choice, but it is one that might be changed, under the correct circumstances. I don't believe that your path is the right one, and I still seek to find another way to restore our hearts, but I lack your knowledge and resources.
If I did change my mind, it would be under the condition that you not harm the Refugees or the renegade Nobodies. However, from what you've said, I can assume that a weak Nobody like myself would not be worth that risk."
Path. His path. Always talking about his path; and so little they truly understood. He could not be annoyed, though there was a faint memory of frustration - of anger at his mentor for simply not understanding what he was saying about the Dark, about Light, about everything... a shame, it truly was. As his heart had once said (though in much plainer terms), 'Qui nil scit, nil agnoscit'.
"Do you even know, in the end, what my path is?" he said, finally, "You have all assumed that you know. And... you would have to prove that you are worth the risk, I am afraid."
Songbird sighed, perhaps beginning to let go, slightly, of the blank demeanor that was unnatural even for a Nobody. "I must have known, when I still remembered what you call the Prophecy. Back then, I was so sure that you were wrong and that your stubborn arrogance would lead only to your fall. Now I have only the memory of that sense, with no factual basis. However, the other Refugees feel the same. Obviously, since you hope to change that Prophecy, those memories were true. I cannot see from where I stand currently how Twilight could be more good than Light. Painfully cliche`, I know, but such things are often cliche` for a reason."
"So. Tell me, then," he said, amber eyes still locked upon her, a hawk's glare, "Just what is it that you think I am trying to do? I am curious to know."
"Clearly, you want a heart, and you have also promised hearts to all of your followers. From what I understand and can assume, you have a system to achieve that which involves gathering as many lost hearts as possible. A dreadfully destructive method... Even if it is the only way, I cannot see how thousands of deaths are an acceptable price to restore a dozen hearts." Another sip to clear her throat. "You have also mentioned that you want to create a new universe because you don't 'fit in'. However, you must admit how selfish that sounds. Is there more?"
He was silent for some time then, contemplating. How much should he say, about his plan? It was not as if anyone truly understood what he was trying to do, not even his own companions. Well... Zexion and Lexaeus had understood; but they were dead. Xigbar and Xaldin understood, after a fashion... but no others. Not really. He had not even told most of them the extent of what he was trying to do.
But then again... then again...
"Firstly, it is not a dozen hearts. Have you forgotten the Dusks? There are thousands of them."
"A thousand to a dozen, a million to a thousand... It is still uneven," she countered easily.
"But then there is more. I want you to consider this: Kingdom Hearts. It is the heart of all things. The heart of all that lives. The heart of the universe itself. True, at present, I am merely driven to gain my heart back. This is the curse of all Nobodies. And I am further driven by my missing memories. It is for that reason that my heart deigned to cast me off in the first place (and he did not find what he was seeking, either.) But there is more. There is so much more that can be had...so much more, more than this. Imagine a world where we are all gods. where we may deign to create what we will. How we will. Dark, light, twilight; it matters not. To stare out across the void and will into being what we dream. So that all may have their worlds. To go off away from the rest and to be alone with our creations... or to collaborate with others... to simply dream. Nothing more. To dream in the chaos of the void, to dream life into being. This is the world that I will create. Where none are puppeted by the forces of Light and Dark. Where we are not slaves to our lost memories. Where I am not a slave to my lost memories. Or to anything."
The Nobody woman's expression conveyed confusion, uncertainty. This was something new. She took a long drink of the bitter Earl Grey, and the small part of her mind that was not entirely shocked wished that she had ordered something sweet.
"You... Why... did you keep this a secret?" Even after moments had passed, she was still near-speechless. Something in his words had struck her. Hard.
"Because no one understands this. I cannot even fully explain the concept to anyone at all. Braig, Dilan, Eleaus, and Ienzo understood; Even never did but he was too curious not to try; and Ansem... never would. Ever. Besides, then... then it was more about memory, and less about... this. This came out of... finding a new purpose. A way to transcend my lack of knowing who, and what, I was."
By this point, as she continued to absorb the full meaning of his previous words, Songbird's appearance had changed almost entirely in regards to 'emotional' display. Always trying so hard to be honest, she had shunned even the Noboddy instinct to fake emotions. Despite all that, though, her current expression was one of pure wonder.
"... I understand," she murmured softly. "I... Robin, I mean, once dreamed of exactly that. What you describe is beautiful. Perfect, as much as any reality can be. But... How can you possibly hope to shape such a universe?"
"How can I not hope? I will have the heart of all reality at my fingertips. With such power, anything is possible. The deaths of my companions? Meaningless, when with a thought I might resurrect them... whole and complete again, as well. The deaths of billions of people? Again, meaningless. They will not even remember what occurred, with such power. It is for the greater good. As always."
She shook her head, but not in negation of his words. "You need not continue. I agree. I cannot express how... amazed I am by this revelation. I misjudged you. However..." Having regained most of her composure, she finished off the tea in her cup, never breaking eye contact. "I still do not understand how it is possible. If you can prove to me that you will have the ability to create this universe you describe... If you can assure it's creation provided this adventure goes your way, then... I cannot oppose you."
He nodded. "I will send you what data I have gathered. I cannot guarantee that you will be able to understand it all. But ten years of study by the remnants of the most talented minds in this universe should suffice, I think."
Her narrowed gaze was, if not distrustful, at least obviously cautious. He was, until a moment ago, her enemy.
"I am scientifically minded, but not yet well studied. Would you be able to provide notes and translations where necessary?"
"I can attempt it, yes. I will also have Xigbar reformat the simulations for you computer as best he can. They were designed to run on immersive world-emulators, like the Space Paranoids mainframe."
"If it would make things easier, I would not be opposed to visiting your... what is it? A castle? Your base. You must have a computer that can run the simulations. Perhaps you or one of your followers could guide me through it, instead of worrying about notes and explanations for what I don't yet understand."
She took a deep breath, still rattled, though her poker face was back in place. She had not expected this in the least...
"If that is your wish, miss Songbird," he said. "You are welcome in our castle. I will tell the others to let you through, should you arrive without an escort. The Dusks may be suspicious, but if you speak with them and tell them that I have given you permission to be there, they should relent. If any of them give you trouble do inform me."
"Thank you..." Her gaze slipped down to stare in the general direction of the teapot as she let her mind organize this new revelation.
" I want you to know, Xemnas, that this truly fascinates me. When... When She was a child, her greatest wish was to find a door to another world, because she did not fit in on Earth. When she matured enough to understand the impossibility of that wish, her dreams were the only thing left to her. Awake or asleep, she learned to immerse herself in them, and control them. The worlds and wonders she created... she held them closer to her heart than anything else, and it pained her more than anything to think that they might never be known."
"So... I do understand."
He did not smile. That was not his way. He did tilt his head a single degree, however, and there was a slight change in his eyes - a tightening about the edges, perhaps. "I look forward to your visit, miss Songbird," he said, "And it would be a fine thing if you were to join our family, even knowing what the future has to say about our chances."
Her eyes flicked back up to meet his again, but more hesitantly this time, for some reason. "Again, thank you. I think I will go now, unless there is anything else. I have much to think about."
He nodded, finishing his tea. "And I have business to attend to, I am afraid." He bowed, slightly, sliding his glasses back up to hide his eyes. "Good day, miss Songbird." With that, he turned and walked off into the starlit streets, soon vanishing into the crowd as if he'd never been there at all.
Songbird lingered to watch him go, thoughtfully, before paying for the tea in a distracted sort of way and departing as well.