The world we wanted 27/?
Prussia is still upset over how pointlessly stupid it turned out, how Russia betrayed weakness for America for no good reason. He isn't the only one.
“I can't believe you embarrassed us all like this,” China almost yells. “America called you out and you folded like a coward.”
His girlfriend Albania sneers and looks upset too. North Korea is mostly uncomfortable, looking back and forth between her two allies like she can't decide which one she should side with.
“But I think it turned out acceptable,” Russia tries to defend himself.
“And for Cuba,” China continues, still fuming with rage. “You are happy to ignore my problems with Taiwan pretending to to be rightful successor to my country but if a useless nation no one ever heard of needs help you come running with nuclear weapons offered without any thought put behind it at all. I asked for that kind of help for years!”
Russia takes a deep breath and his entire posture changes. Prussia unconsciously takes a step back, he recognizes this mood too well. He wants to warn China but isn't sure how. Russia might be fond enough of Cuba to not explode on him but China, that's entirely different.
“You shouldn't talk to me this way,” Russia says. “It's not very nice of you after all I done for you.”
“I owe you nothing! You talked so prettily to me about the world revolution, about revenge against the imperialists and the dawn of a new era for us. You let me down on every single promise. Your boss is an incompetent fool and you are pathetic. If you surrounded yourself with anything but a group of syncopates you beaten into submission you would realize that yourself.”
China has more to say but at this point Russia interrupts him with a slap across the face. He uses far from his entire strength but the much smaller China still tumbles, right into Albania who hurries to help him regain balance.
“You can't hit me,” China hisses and puts his hand over the emerging bruise on his face. “I am not your servant. You have gone weak and you try to hide it behind pathetic outbursts like this. I'm not going to let you drag me down with you.”
“You should remember who armed you in the first place. You constantly come to me to whine and beg for things in the name of communist unity you don't even believe in yourself. If it wasn't for me America might have let Japan keep pieces of you, after all they are such great friends now...”
“And you are afraid of America too,” China says and looks Russia directly in the eyes. “Go ahead, hit me again if you dare. Next time I will hit back.”
Russia is going to hit him, it's obvious from his expression, but then Albania interferes.
“China is right,” Albania says. “I'm tired of your revisionist ways. Stalin gave you something beautiful and you are throwing it away. We don't need allies who gets fucked in the ass by the Yugoslavs and sucks off America.”
Even China looks a little bit taken back by how Albania keeps her soft and friendly tone even as she says this. Where the hell did that come from, she who looks so demure.
“How dare you speak to me that way,” Russia says, not in anger but as if he is honestly amazed. But his attention has turned to her, which most have been her plan. “I invited you into my house, offered you protection and helped you as much as I could.”
“Because you wanted to spite Tito,” China says. “Please, don't try to sound like you are helping out of the goodness of your heart. And East, are you going with Russia on this?”
“Yes,” Prussia says. This is getting way out of control but his alliance is as predictable as Albania's. “Less Stalinism is a good thing, not a bad. And why are you even speculating about Russia's motives? Actions is what counts and he has helped you, hadn't he?”
“'Help' would imply that I shouldn't have to submit to Russia's whims to receive it,” China says. “But I'm not going to hold a grunge against you, I realize you have little choice but to agree with him.”
That's a fucking asshole move of China and is probably bound to get Prussia into trouble later. North Korea has watched the entire drama unfold in a frightened silence until now.
“Why are you fighting?” she whimpers. “We must all keep together against the bourgeoisie imperialist fascists.”
“Sometimes there are counterrevolutionary elements among what you thought were your allies,” China says. “I'm going to teach you more about the dangers about Marxist revisionism later.”
“I have some things I could tell you about nationalist deviationists too,” Russia says. “Tell me China, will you run off and attack the Republic of China again to consul your ego now?”
“And will you return home to take out your anger on your Soviet republics who can't defend themselves or East who needs your support desperately enough to not complain?”
“Stop dragging me into this!” Prussia protests. “You're spectacularly fucking rude today.”
“I apologize,” China says without looking the slightest sorry. “Russia's impulsive actions tend to bring out the worst in me.”
He and Albania storms off, a wise choice when Russia looks ready to beat up them both. North Korea stays behind, looking deeply unhappy.
***
“Why do you and China want to die?” Russia wonders.
Prussia had braced himself for an explosion, fearing that China wasn't entirely wrong about what would happen after he left. He wasn't expecting that.
“What are you talking about?”
“I don't know what I'm doing wrong when you still want to die.”
“Don't be stupid,” Prussia snaps.
“Don't kill yourself because you think you have to go down in a blaze of glory,” Russia begs. “I won't let you fade away. It will be better, I promise.”
“I-” Prussia can't figure out what he can possible say, except to promise that he never even considered doing something as stupid as Russia hints. Russia eventually accepts it. But Prussia can't stop thinking about it, maybe Russia is right and he is the one acting crazy for once. It's a very unpleasant thought.
***
It's not clear to them if it's Russia's or China's idea but all of Russia's allies cut off ties with China too. Prussia wishes they could stop acting like idiots, he had hopes for his future relations with China.
Lithuania and Serbia try to comfort Russia over the split. While Russia still tries to comfort Prussia and Cuba, who both claim they don't need it.
Russia is in one of his endless conversations with Cuba where they both try to be very friendly when Prussia finds everyone else gathered in the hall, passing a paper between them.
“We're not sure what to do with this,” Estonia says. “Albania sends hate letters but perhaps Russia doesn't need to know that.”
“It's a bit risqué,” Ukraine says and blushes deep red. “I can't believe she write such things about my brother.”
It can't be that bad, can it? Prussia snatches the letter from her and his eyes stop at the passage where Albania describes exactly and in great detail what kind of sexual services she thinks Russia performs on America. There is a section about exploits with Yugoslavia too.
“Why haven't we invaded her yet?”
“Probably because we're not sharing a border,” Lithuania says. He's pretty cynical these days, isn't he?
“I told you Albania was crazy, didn't I?” Belarus says. “If she ever dares to show her face again I will make sure she can never write another letter again...”
“Pff,” Serbia says, taking the letter for himself. “I'll give her good marks for the effort but there isn't much creativity here is it? I could easily imagine a lot more depraved things I could do to Russia.”
“You could?” Hungary says with wide eyes.
“Ehm, forget I ever said that.”
Latvia and Estonia unsuccessfully try to stifle their amusement.
“We probably shouldn't give this to Russia,” Prussia says, not nearly as entertained. Lithuania isn't either. “It's just going to make his mood worse.”
Not to mention that Russia doesn't need suggestions about depraved things he could do with Serbia and America.
“I'll throw it away,” Hungary promises and puts the letter in her pocket.
***
Russia remains blissfully ignorant over how creatively obscene Albania can be and tries to make North Korea agree with him what a treacherous opportunist China is but she keeps giving him blank stares.
“I still don't understand why you have to fight over that so much,” she says in a miserable voice. “I want us all to go to fun places instead. I want us to go to Disneyland like you and East did.”
“You do?” Prussia is fascinated, North constantly expresses hatred of everything American and yet holds a weird obsession with their popular culture.
“Yes. I like the castle. I'm going to build a lot of castles and palaces in my home too.”
“I don't think China is going to build castles for you,” Russia says.
“I'll build my own castles,” North says. “Because that is what Juche is all about.”
“Huh?” Prussia says.
Russia sighs and changes subject before North can try to explain communism in the way only she sees it. When he turns around the blank expression changes into a little smile playing over North's lips. Maybe China isn't the only opportunist around.
IRL there is of course a lot more behind the split, but here in the story I made it very personal between Russia and China. But Mao being pissed because Russia was so hesitant over going to war with America is true as far as I know.