The world we wanted 22/?
Prussia doesn't even bother to ask if he's invited to America. Khrushchev is bringing his entire family into enemy territory, no matter how much Prussia tells him it's a bad idea. Russia should bring what's practically his family.
“Maybe I should bring Lithuania, Estonia and Latvia too,” Russia says. “I need a lot of help.”
“No!” Prussia and Khrushchev say at once, imagining the crisis if they should decide to run off and try to get asylum.
“Czech and Slovakia?”
“We don't need more people who say weird things,” Prussia says. “The three of us is enough of a potential disaster.”
“Serbia?”
“He's not even on your side!”
“You don't need to outdo America in who brings the most friends,” Khrushchev says. Russia grudgingly accepts this and goes off to make Lithuania pack for him.
“Don't let Russia be alone with Eisenhower now or ever,” Prussia warns. “I remember when he asked Fritz how I was in bed. That almost got us into a war.”
“Fritz?” Khrushchev wonders.
“Friedrich the Great, that's the one Fritz worth mentioning. Russia and I spend years calling each others bosses sluts in different ways after that.”
“I'll remember that,” Khrushchev promises. “Try to keep close to Russia and don't run off to sulk or yell at America.”
“...yes...”
“And one more thing. Don't call Catharina the Great a slut.”
He is no Stalin but sometimes he can be a little bit scary.
***
Hungary still acts like nothing happened. Either she doesn't know or she plots a creative vengeance.
“You're very jumpy today,” she says.
“America here was bad enough. Visiting him might end up worse. Russia is worried about what Nikita could end up saying and Nikita is worried about what Russia could end up doing. They're both right in being worried. And they should worry about me too. America tends to piss me off.”
“Don't dare to complain,” Hungary says. “Even if America pisses everyone off. I'm so tired of Russia keeping me away from my government. Being holed up here bores me to death. I'm not nearly as enthusiastic about chess as Estonia and the guys. And when Poland comes by he keeps being distracted by his drama with Lithuania.”
“I love the ongoing series of 'will Lithuania and Poland declare their undying love today or will they fight viciously over Vilnius?'.”
“It's a mystery to everyone. I never been able to get Poland explain it so it makes sense.”
“It's like me and Russia. There's no sense to be found, it just is.”
Hungary's smile contains a hint of pity that makes Prussia wants to smack himself. If he can't even stop himself from saying stupid things around Hungary he's probably going to end up causing the third world war some day.
“There's always a million reasons you shouldn't be with someone,” Hungary wistfully says. “But in the end we have to have something beyond politics and self-preservation. Otherwise it's just not worth it.”
“Easy for you to say.”
“I-”
“This conversation didn't end up the way I thought it would,” Prussia interrupts, because he doesn't want to know if Hungary is going to say she's sorry or that he only has himself to blame.
“Things easily get strange around here,” Hungary says.
They have tea together in silence.
***
Russia is busy scaring the Baltics and Hungary into giving him advice on what he should wear. It's going to end up being the coat and the scarf anyway so the entire project will without end up pointlessly traumatizing for everyone involved.
Prussia hides in Russia's office to avoid it. When the phone rings he picks it up automatically, assuming it's going to be Khrushchev or perhaps Belarus who wonders why her brother avoids her when she loves him so much.
On third alternative, a loud Serbia.
“It's me, East,” Prussia interrupts. “Not Russia.”
“Oh well, I can talk to you too.”
“Not now, I can't take anymore bitchiness between your boss and Nikita.”
“So you are on first name basis now? How cute. How did things turn out with Hungary for you?”
“It's alright,” Prussia says, wondering how he best can bring up the previous threat.
“Still nothing? That's good. I'm Russia's best friend you know. If you cheat on him I would have to beat you up. And then the Warsaw pact would have to back you up and Yugoslavia back me up. It would be very bad and probably end with me getting deported somewhere by my boss so I can think about what I did.”
“I like the logic. I should stay away from Hungary because you are afraid of Tito?”
“I think you should be afraid of having Croatia and Kosovo team up on you. That haunts my nightmares at least...”
“This is stupid,” Prussia says and decides to go directly to the main issue. “If you tell Hungary about the thing with letters I will beat you up. And you will end up looking bad too since you hid it for her for this long.”
“Don't be like that,” Serbia says and sighs. If he was actually there in person he might have thrown something instead. “You're practically an in-law by now and I don't sell out family for girls.”
Prussia must admit to himself that's very close to he himself would reason.
“Also, about America. I actually been there. It's a place of soulless capitalism but uhm, it's pretty impressive on the surface. And surface is all America is going to show you. You should hold Russia's hand. Very hard.”
Prussia recalls West Germany and it worries him a bit.
***
The show off is on as they travel in their most impressive looking plane.
“Did we even test this properly?” Russia asks.
“Don't worry,” Khrushchev replies. "Aren't you the immortal one here?"
***
Prussia is eternally grateful that the nations hide away from the media circus surrounding their bosses. It's a relief back home where you know what they are going to write and you can tell media to shut up and behave.
Russia and America met up behind the scenes and this time America brought a friend too. Japan stands quietly by America's side, as expressionless as ever. Prussia always found that very creepy, he looked coldly detached no matter if he was trying German bratwurst or ordering invasions of China.
“Can't you bring someone else than GDR for once?” America wonders. “That Icherio guy seemed nice. Less angry.”
Oh, if he only knew...
“We should be diplomatic, have you forgotten that?” Prussia says. “Besides, you know you're going to talk about me anyway and I don't like it when you talk behind me back.”
“It's very nice to see you Japan,” Russia says with a predatory smile. Japan's eyes turn even more blank than usual when they share a stilted handshake.
“Nice thinking there America,” Prussia mumbles just loud enough for America to hear. He wonders if it is a blatant provocation or if America didn't think of how Russia and Japan are theoretically still at war. Sure, their bosses try to restore normal relationships but Japan personally has avoided Russia, most likely terrified Russia will take revenge on him for China the moment he lets his guard down.
“I can't wait to show you are great my country is!” America proclaims and ignores the awkwardness.
***
No one can know for certain what goes on in America's head at times as when he brings along Russia and Prussia to Disneyland. Because something you call the happiest place on earth is somewhere you want to bring your sworn enemy.
Khrushchev sulks because he can't come due to security issues while nations don't need to worry about things like that. Prussia starts to wish he had stayed behind too because it becomes harder and harder to hide that he finds the entire thing adorable and would bring it home if he could.
“Isn't it great?” America practically chirps. He has a hamburger in one hand and stick with cotton candy in his other.
“It doesn't compensate how-”
“Oh, come on,” America says. “I'm trying very hard to be diplomatic and not talk about sensitive issues. Can't you help me out a bit?”
“I like cotton candy,” Russia offers and rips a large piece out of Japan's.
“It's a start,” America says.
Japan offers Prussia a piece of his cotton candy before Prussia has decided if he's going to steal some too. It looks like wool and tastes like fluff.
America tries to explain Disney canon to Russia and feed him hamburgers while Japan's eyes shot daggers. Prussia knows very well that Russia would tie America up with his scarf and slowly strangle him if he could. He isn't worried.
The entire thing is like a weird double date gone very wrong. The worst part is how much fun it could have been if Prussia wasn't almost choking on his own bitterness. The German Democratic Republic could have been this awesome too. If America and England hadn't bombed the shit out of it and Russia razed the remains. His people should have as much nice things as America's. He thinks about all of America's people who could never afford to come to places like this. At least his GDR is trying for things like equality and jobs and health care for everyone instead of building flashy useless things to brag about. America is showing up his happy shiny things, not the truth.
Prussia keeps telling himself that as he makes careful conversation with Japan, who seems pretty happy overall, until he notices that Russia and America has disappeared in the crowd.
“We should go looking,” Japan says.
Prussia finds them first, he knows Russia's fondness of dark corners where you can watch and wait. The two superpowers stand very close to each other. Prussia can't hear them whispering from where he is standing. Suddenly Russia grabs America's neck and pushes him against the wall.
“I hate you,” Russia says, a little louder than he should.
“I hate you too,” America says.
None of them move, America allows Russia to keep him pressed against the wall and only smiles. He whispers something in Russia's ear and then, finally, Russia lets go of him.
Prussia is a little worried. Not only about an impending nuclear war.
***
America is ridiculously proud of everything else too. Russia smiles and makes vaguely complementary comments while his fingers dig into Prussia's arm hard enough to bruise.
Khrushchev is enthusiastic, pending between insulting and praising America, getting into wild arguments with people and actually manages to have some serious discussions and negotiations in between.
“Your boss is a moron,” America happily says.
“Perhaps,” Russia says. “But we still have more missiles than you. And they're better too.”
Prussia barley manages to hide his smile.
***
Prussia tries to avoid it but eventually America catches him alone and wants to talk about the Berlin issue.
“You realize you are the problem, right?” America says. “Russia really really wants to hold on to Germany because of you. If your people wanted to be communist Germany they would run to your side and not away from it. If you tell Russia to put an end to this he actually might. I don't get it, Italy unified and that turned out fine. Why do you and North Korea have to be so crazy and evil when we could save you from Russia?”
Prussia doesn't think the Italian unification turned out that fine, North Italy seems to dominate the country now and Romano gets more and more sidelined.
“I should ask Hungary how good you are at saving people,” Prussia replies. To his satisfaction America looks embarrassed.
“I-”
“Never mind. Whatever gave you the impression that we need to be saved at all? My people are leaving because you are lying to them.” That's what his boss tells him and the official line. But he knows for certain that loyalty to your nation shouldn't be conditional, it means doing whatever it takes to turns things around. Not run away “And don't compare me to North. My claims on Germany are completely legitimate and I'm still generous enough to be willing to share it with my brother.”
“You don't think North has any right to Korea then?”
Prussia curses his own badly chosen words and attacks on another front.
“Is this some kind of unpleasant deal where you get to threaten me and Russia gets to threaten Japan?”
A brief look of panic passes on America's face.
“Do you think that bastard is harassing Japan?”
“We might not agree with everything China does but he is our friend... China has an impressive drunken rant on what he wants to do if he ever manges to catch Japan alone...”
“We have to finish this conversation one day or another,” America threatens before he sets off to save his friend.
***
They don't manage to agree on anything about the Germany and Berlin problem, to Prussia's secret relief. He worries that such a deal wouldn't turn out in his favor.
The trip ends with more weirdness but at least no horrible incidents.
“When America and his boss manage to be more respectful than China I start think we might get along again some day,” Russia says on the ride back home. “How strange. I thought we would end up destroying the world together. Perhaps there is enough of the world to fit us both until the unavoidable revolution reaches his people too.”
There really is nothing one can say about that.
I realized Russia and Japan still haven't managed to sign the peace-treaty since they can't get along over some islands... Perhaps that's a part of why Russia is so creepy and evil in Hetalia...
America believes in the weapon claims much more than his bosses do...