love and peace or else

[worldforawhile]

Oh, yeah, so I said I was going to write about how this year had been for me, and I don't want to make a liar out of myself, and I don't really want to have this hanging over my head in 2008, so I've got to do it now. But I don't really want to do it ('cause I don't think I will ever really want to do it) so I imagine it will be short and rather un

Comments

[playingtheangel]

I'm so, so glad you're... well.. at the point you are. None of our bodies or minds are perfect, and I find it particularly lovely when people give themselves the freedom to be OK with that... and to accept help in the form of medication that wasn't even around 50 years ago. (Scary thought.(

Now that your mind is healthier, you'll be in an even better position to figure out when it's right to go to the support group. You've gone through a hard enough time as it is - be kind and forgiving to yourself when you can. :) Don't want to go? Don't!

It will be a good day when antidepressants have the same stigma as... say... insulin.

[maliekai]

This second paragraph is what I was going to say, pretty much. I don't think you EVER finish grieving the loss of someone so close to you. It's constant and for the rest of your life. The pain doesn't so much go away... you just get used to it. (That wise gem comes courtesy of Sandy Cohen.) I have been so, so hard on myself since my dad's death, thinking I should be over it, I need to grieve properly and I haven't yet, I need to I need to I need to... But what my therapy taught me most is that what I NEED to do is be nice to myself and let it come as it comes. Baby steps, you know? You will know when you're ready for the group therapy, or ready for something else that would be more helpful, and then you will go.

Also, I think there are probably lots of us in the same boat around here, but if you ever want to talk about the loss of father stuff, look me up. You can email me or comment me or whaaaaaatever. It's always somehow comforting to talk to someone else who is living through something similar.

[worldforawhile]

That is wise of Sandy Cohen. And his eyebrows. It's probably where he gets most of the wisdom from, I think.

I have been so, so hard on myself since my dad's death, thinking I should be over it, I need to grieve properly and I haven't yet, I need to I need to I need to...

In a way, this was really really good to hear (although I hate to hear that you're beating yourself up over it), because it's exactly how I feel. I am worried that I'm not grieving correctly, and that I'm screwing myself over and not honoring my dad's memory by doing so. These are uncharted waters, and I don't yet know how to tell the difference between healthful outlook and countdown to being wheeled out of my house, strapped to a gurney.

Thanks for being there. :) I wish we didn't have this in common, but I'm glad we've gotten to know each other. On The Internet.

[worldforawhile]

When I wonder how society didn't completely devolve without the psychiatric advances we've made, I think that maybe things were just simpler, so even if you WERE having problems, they weren't as magnified. Like, you got up with the rooster and picked corn for eight hours, then ate and went to bed. No worries about $100 oil or the neighbor parking in your space AGAIN or how you're 25 and not a millionaire yet.

Thanks for telling me to be kind to myself--I tend to forget that. :) Although I would probably think I could will myself out of diabetes, too. Because I'm odd.

[worldforawhile]

Thank you :) (And me, too!)

[popgurlie]

i am so, so thrilled that you starting to feel more even. i've probably been "clinically depressed" since my teens, but i finally started with a great therapist last year and went on an anti-depressant earlier this year and the results were amazing. my past year hasn't been nearly as rough as yours, but i know what it's like to finally be able to breathe and see through it all and i truly am so, so happy for you.

i send you much love.

[worldforawhile]

Thanks so much :) Love right back to you. And I'm so happy for you and your progress (especially now that I know what a positive change meds can bring--it's like I'm me, but better! I never considered that as an option. It would either me "it's like me, but sleep-deprived and on coke!" or "it's like me, but on horse tranquilizer!").

We deserve awesome 2008s, y/y?

[worldforawhile]

Exercise and diet! Tom Cruise, is that you? Kidding. . .I actually am a big proponent of exercise and diet myself, so much so that I started to feel embarrassed when everyone was getting on his case. Although he said "vitamins," which I sort of believe are the Brave New Century's snake oil. So he's still crazy.

I wonder if I would have noticed something amiss earlier if I self-medicated with any kind of substance. I mean, I have serious eating issues, but I've had those during really good times, too, and it's like--you have to eat, you know? If it was drugs or booze, maybe. . .I mean, I don't know. I think my real addiction is isolation, and as an only child, I'm too comfortable being alone to really notice when it's starting to be abnormal.

Annnyway, thank you, really a lot, for commenting and being a real (internet) friend through all this. It means a lot to me that you've always had a caring and intelligent word. Or words. Now I'm going to be reported to Spelling and Grammar.

[worldforawhile]

Yeah, but your way of coping was more fun. :)

And thank you for all your warm fuzzies.