doing the böghög
TEAM PRESENTATION: SWEDEN
"What IS this? Remember I'm just 20 years old!"
(Zlatan Ibrahimovic at the WC 02, on the team's goalkeeper dropping his pants in front of him to get a shot)
All hail Sweden, home of Abba Teens. This is the nation that fostered Greta Garbo and Björn Andrésen. This is where Zlatan Ibrahimovic sits on pink fluffy pillows, interviewed by hosts of queer oriented kid shows. The winners of ’06 Swedish Hockey Cup are depicted thus. Freddie Ljungberg pins embroidered brooches to his cap. Brace yourself, fellow slash fans.
Team:
Goal:
1. Andreas Isaksson (1981) Stade Rennais - France
12. John Alvbåge (1982) Viborg FF - Denmark
23. Rami Shaaban (1975) Fredrikstad F.K. - Norway
Forward:
10. Zlatan Ibrahimovic (October 1981) Juventus F.C. - Italy
11. Henrik Larsson (1971) FC Barcelona - Spain
22. Markus Rosenberg (1982) Ajax Amsterdam - Netherlands
20. Marcus Allbäck (1973) FC Copenhagen - Denmark
17. Johan Elmander (1981) Brondby IF - Denmark
18. Mattias Jonson (1974) Djurgårdens IF - Sweden
Midfield:
9. Fredrik Ljungberg (1977) Arsenal - England
16. Kim Källström (1982) Lyon - France
21. Christian Wilhelmsson (1979) Anderlecht - Belgium
6. Tobias Linderoth (1979) FC Copenhagen - Denmark
7. Niclas Alexandersson (1971) IFK Göteborg - Sweden
8. Anders Svensson (1976) Elfsborg - Sweden
19. Daniel Andersson (1977) Malmö FF - Sweden
Defence:
3. Olof Mellberg (Team Captain) (1977) Aston Villa - England
5. Erik Edman (1978) Stade Rennais - France
13. Petter Hansson (1976) SC Heerenveen - Netherlands
14. Fredrik Stenman (1983) Bayer Leverkusen - Germany
15. Karl Svensson (1984) Scotland Rangers FC - Scotland
2. Mikael Nilsson (1978) Panathinaikos - Greece
4. Teddy Lucic (1973) BK Häcken - Sweden
Head Coach:
Lars Lagerbäck (1948)
SLASHY PLAYERS:
Zlatan Ibrahimovic
24 years, Juventus. The star of the team - young, arrogant and brilliant. Grew up in an immigrant ghetto in Malmö and was Sweden's most expensive sell ever, to Ajax at 19. Juventus bought him after the Euro 04, he was voted player of the year his first season and has won the Scudetto twice. Has had a rough second season, fought with half the team and screamed "vafanculo" in Vieira's face. This doesn't stop Real Madrid, Inter and Milan from wanting him, though, should Juventus be forced to sell (due to the corruption scandal).
General perks:
Looks good in suits, jeans, and Dolce e Gabbana.
Is really bendy.
Shaves (unfortunately this includes his head, though it has started to grow back).
Was asked in Italian in which order he placed football, family, women and friends, and he proved to know his plurals with the answer "What do you mean, women? There's one woman, only!" This would be his eleven years older girlfriend, the wealthy airway boss.
The awesome Anguisette's got a presentation of the Zlatan/Alessandro Nesta pairing here. If you're wondering who'd be top and who'd be bottom, consider these pics.
Henrik Larsson
35 years, Barcelona. Patient, collected, loyal. Once wrung high-strung teenager Zlatan into a functioning team member, and the puppy love still shows. Zlatan ran crying to him when they lost the quarter finales, and when he scored against Italy in the Euro 04, Henrik was seen forcibly refraining from making out with him. While he sometimes does get it on with others, he doesn't stand much of a chance (as Freddie Ljungberg seems slyly to be implying) at resisting, in the end.
Fredrik Ljungberg
29 years, Arsenal. When he's not busy cuddling Thierry Henry or working in tandem with his water bottle (like Zlatan), Fredrik models for Calvin Klein. He loves "blue tuna on ruccola" and shopping with other hunky men, and has to come out as a heterosexual about once a year (especially after all those rumours about him and Swedish singer Peter Jöback). "I'd tell you if I were, honestly, I have hundreds of gay friends and always have, I wouldn't care..."
Olof Mellberg
29 years, Aston Villa. Team captain both in the national team and Aston Villa and quite the viking on the pitch. Had a memorable spat with Fredrik Ljungberg at the WC 02, when Mellberg slide tackled him during practise and Freddie jumped him. The video is here (click on the link that says "Bilder från slagsmålet och kommentarer").
Andreas Isaksson
25 years, Rennais. Tall and adorable, played for Juventus at the wee age of seventeen but got so homesick he had to quit. Due to a concussion at practise he is replaced in the first game by:
Rami Shaaban
31 years, Fredrikstadt. Used to play in Arsenal before he broke his leg. This is his first Championship, just like:
Kalle Svensson
22 years, Scotland Rangers.
Christian Wilhelmsson
27 years, Anderlecht. Blond and vain, cuddles and is cuddled (by Pontus Färnerud, unfortunately not on the team this year). Wears rings on every finger and went to look at tattoos with Zlatan before an important game, which I thought was cute. (Zlatan, btw, went ahead and got his, coming to the game all bruised and tender and the coaches went mad. So he went in and scored fabulously, and the tattoo said "Only God Can Judge Me". Aww.)
Anders Svensson
30 years, Elfsborg. Tiny and cute. Above he is near-kissed by Tommy Svensson, who together with Lars Lagerbäck formed our perverted coaching duo Lars-Tommy until he retired last championship. Tommy sure had his share, but nowadays Lars Lagerbäck reigns surpreme.
Kim Källström
24 years, Lyon. Also, as noted by Lars, tiny and cute. Comforted Andreas Isaksson after we lost the quarter finales on penalties 04.
Erik Edman
28 years, Rennais. My interest in Edman was awakened when he hit his head during a game against Everton while playing for Tottenham Hotspurs, and fainted spectacularly. Then he tried to get up again and everyone had to force him back down. Lovely.
Also, as a bonus and because I really wish he'd join the team, here's Tobias Grahn. He used to play in Norway where the girls screamed at him to show off his butt, and he generously complied!
GENERAL PICSPAM:
The Swedish word for when the players jump each other after scoring = doing the "böghög" ("bög"= gay, "hög"= pile):
And here are some pictures from practise in Germany:
And thank you for an awesome community!
ETA: More Swedish team here.