Know Me [30 Rock; Jack/Liz]
TITLE: Know Me
FANDOM: 30 Rock
PAIRING: Jack/Liz
SPOILERS: The Subway Hero
RATING: PG-13
SUMMARY:
*****
She's never been so angry in her entire life. Even when Lutz called her a... well, y'know... and she flipped out on him, she wasn't this angry. And really she has a right to be angry. Furious, whatever. Because she could have died tonight.
It could be argued that she really could die any night, particularly when she's having her microwave steak dinners (they're just plain dangerous), but until tonight it never even bothered her. Her own mortality, that is. Because she always figured when she died it would be the cause of a freak choking accident or she'd get some weird incurable disease or something. She never once factored in being thrown onto some subway tracks by a jackass.
That wasn't even in the top five possibilities for how she could die. But tonight, she almost did. Dennis, in his stupid ass need for some more fame, was going to throw her down on the tracks so he could fake rescue her again. She had punched him hard in the arm and screamed at him. When he just smiled and told her she'd be back, she wanted to throw him onto the tracks. Instead, she ran away. Which brings her to this moment, running through Rockefeller Plaza, back to 30 Rock.
She's in the elevator in what feels like only a heartbeat and watching the numbers light up leading to Jack's floor. Jack was right to boot him off of the show. And this time, she's kind of totally okay with letting Jack know that he was right.
She's winded from all the running by the time she reaches Jack's floor, and when she gets off the elevator Jonathan looks at her with wide eyes, like he's looking at a ghost. He doesn't even bother being his usual bitchy self and lets her right in to Jack's office.
"Lemon, I take it you've talked to Dennis?" he asks without turning around, and seriously - how the hell does he do that?
She's still trying to catch her breath when he turns around to look at her, when his eyes go wide and he drops the latest issue of Yachting Illustrated. "Good God, Lemon, what happened to you?"
That's when it all smacks her in the face -- Tracy Jordan joining her show and Jack turning her entire world upside down; Dennis and their stupid reconciliation last year; Floyd and his stupid job-taking out in Cleveland and the stupid girl that was there when he was in the shower; Jack and his stupid incessant need to know everything that's going on in her life at all times just so he can point out when she does stuff wrong; Jenna not knowing her middle name; Dennis not knowing her middle name; probably nobody knowing her middle name; the fact that she almost died. Everything hits her at once at a million miles an hour and she suddenly starts crying.
Jack looks... really freaked out. There's a hint of amusement there, but it's mostly the freaking out she can see in his expression. "Lemon? Liz..."
The fact that he's using her first name just makes her cry even harder, because he never does that unless it's serious. So she starts cry-talking, asking what is the deal with Dennis, and she knows that she sounds vaguely like Jerry Seinfeld again but she can't help it. She feels Jack's hand warm on her back, right between her shoulder blades, and for the first time she kind of wants Jack to give her a hug.
But that's just... stupid, so. Instead she shrugs off his hand and takes off her glasses, wiping at her eyes angrily like it's their fault that the tears came out. She sets her glasses aside and tries to compose herself, telling him, "I'm fine," which is the lamest thing ever because Jack's been able to see through her since the day they met.
"You're not," he counters, and who is she to argue with him?
"I'm not." So as calmly as she can, she launches into the whole stupid story. By the time she gets to the part about the subway tracks, the whole almost-dying thing once again slaps her in the face and she starts crying again.
And this time she doesn't even need to ask for it. Jack wraps an arm around her and tucks her into his side while he murmurs calming things (though she doesn't remember recognizing any actual words, but she may have been too distressed). She turns in toward him and pretty soon her face is buried against his chest, both of his arms are around her and she's getting tears on the lapel of his suit.
Her hand touches his chest, grasps his tie and she realizes what she's doing. She's crying on Jack. And Jack is holding her. This is... not at all something that they do. And she should stop it. Slowly, her crying stops and she looks up at him. Her hand is still grasping his tie. "Sorry," she apologizes, and takes a step back, one of her hands leaving his chest. The one holding his tie is the last to drop back to her side.
Jack smiles a little bit, just barely, and cuts his eyes to the side like he's embarrassed that they hugged or something. "You should never apologize for letting yourself be overcome with emotion, Lemon. You're only human."
"Right," she says. But not like she's disagreeing with him. She is human. "I'm just so... tired of this."
"Of what? Dennis? Well I should think so. You've dated him, what - three times in the last three years?"
"Not just Dennis. Well, I am tired of Dennis." She frowns. "But that's not the point. I'm tired of surrounding myself with people that are wrong for me. With people that don't know me." She sighs and finishes wiping at her tears. "I just want to be with someone that knows me."
Jack's just looking at her, probably wondering what the hell she's talking about (or mentally setting her up with another of his lesbian friends -- Jack probably knows lots). Liz shakes her head and chuckles a little to herself (even though she's not finding anything particularly funny at the moment). "I mean at this point I'd probably kiss the first person that knows my middle name." She tilts her head when she sees Jack's eyebrows go up. "Yes, even if it's a girl, and no that does not make me a lesbian. So don't even try to set me up again."
Jack purses his lips a little bit but still says nothing. She really hates when he gets in these moods, where he says nothing and she ends up spilling her guts. It's totally annoying. She sighs. "Nevermind. Forget I came in here, forget that I cried, forget that..." She makes a face when she looks at his suit. "Forget that I kinda got tear stains on your shirt and your tie, and we'll just pretend that none of this ever happened. Better yet, why don't we just pretend this entire day never happened. That'd be really great." He still doesn't say anything, just stares at her, so she nods and presses her lips together. "Right. Okay, great talking with you."
She turns to leave and gets as far as almost touching the doorknob when he finally says something: "Ann."
And she turns around. Her heart's doing this weird floppy thing. "What?"
"Ann." He slips his hands into his pockets and takes a couple steps toward her. "Your middle name? Elizabeth Ann Lemon."
Liz rolls her eyes. "Alright, bravo, good for you. You've been reading my personnel file again."
Jack shakes his head. "No, that's not listed in your personnel file." Without waiting for her to react to the fact that he obviously reads her file enough to know what is and isn't in it, he adds, "Your mother called you by your full name when you were arguing at Saturdaze."
She pauses, cocks her head a little bit while looking at him skeptically. "So you... you actually know it know it from hearing it once?"
"Yes."
Well, she warned him she was going to do it. So really, he has no right to look surprised when she marches right up to him, grabs his face and kisses him. What happens next is a surprise to them both.
Jack starts to kiss her back -- passionately -- before she can let go of him. He cradles the small of her back as her heart does more flippy things and kisses her some more, and... she kisses back.
So they're basically just standing there kissing each other, and it was only supposed to be a peck on his lips because he really, genuinely knows her. It was supposed to feel kinda awkward, maybe they'd have a laugh over it or something and then forget about it. It was never supposed to last more than five seconds, and it definitely wasn't supposed to feel like they should've done this a long time ago.
Jack's hand slips between her unzipped sweatshirt and her tee shirt, curving around her waist, while his lips move to her jawline and Liz feels a little weak in the knees. But, y'know that could just be because she was doing all that running. Then Jack's lips hit her neck and a noise comes out -- a whimper or a moan or something, and there's no blaming that on the running.
His hands slide up her sides to her shoulders, and he pushes the sweatshirt down her arms until it hits the floor. And normally Liz would be so not cool with this, because it's Jack and he can be really annoying. But today, she just really needs to be with someone that knows her. And she can't believe she never noticed before, but -- Jack knows knows her.
Like even the day they met, he just somehow knew all this crazy obscure stuff about her that nobody else ever knew or bothered to ask about. He's met her family, her newly dysfunctional family, and she's met his. He knows (well, found out a few months ago) that when she wants to get away from her idiot staff, she hides behind the prop shelves. Just like how she knows that he goes to Sbarro when he's angry, the New York Stock Exchange when he's horny (the couple of times she had to retrieve him had been kiiiinda awkward), and Christie's (where Satan -- er, um, Phoebe works) when he's depressed.
He knows her better than anyone else in her life. And as she closes her eyes and lets him pull her shirt over her head, she doesn't feel any sense of impending doom. As she loosens his tie and tells him to lock the door, it's not awkward. And she doesn't feel nervous, like she probably should. She feels wanted, desired... known.
Maybe the Dennis thing led to something good after all.
But no way is she gonna thank him.
FIN
{x-posted to jack_liz and 30_rock}
FANDOM: 30 Rock
PAIRING: Jack/Liz
SPOILERS: The Subway Hero
RATING: PG-13
SUMMARY:
*****
She's never been so angry in her entire life. Even when Lutz called her a... well, y'know... and she flipped out on him, she wasn't this angry. And really she has a right to be angry. Furious, whatever. Because she could have died tonight.
It could be argued that she really could die any night, particularly when she's having her microwave steak dinners (they're just plain dangerous), but until tonight it never even bothered her. Her own mortality, that is. Because she always figured when she died it would be the cause of a freak choking accident or she'd get some weird incurable disease or something. She never once factored in being thrown onto some subway tracks by a jackass.
That wasn't even in the top five possibilities for how she could die. But tonight, she almost did. Dennis, in his stupid ass need for some more fame, was going to throw her down on the tracks so he could fake rescue her again. She had punched him hard in the arm and screamed at him. When he just smiled and told her she'd be back, she wanted to throw him onto the tracks. Instead, she ran away. Which brings her to this moment, running through Rockefeller Plaza, back to 30 Rock.
She's in the elevator in what feels like only a heartbeat and watching the numbers light up leading to Jack's floor. Jack was right to boot him off of the show. And this time, she's kind of totally okay with letting Jack know that he was right.
She's winded from all the running by the time she reaches Jack's floor, and when she gets off the elevator Jonathan looks at her with wide eyes, like he's looking at a ghost. He doesn't even bother being his usual bitchy self and lets her right in to Jack's office.
"Lemon, I take it you've talked to Dennis?" he asks without turning around, and seriously - how the hell does he do that?
She's still trying to catch her breath when he turns around to look at her, when his eyes go wide and he drops the latest issue of Yachting Illustrated. "Good God, Lemon, what happened to you?"
That's when it all smacks her in the face -- Tracy Jordan joining her show and Jack turning her entire world upside down; Dennis and their stupid reconciliation last year; Floyd and his stupid job-taking out in Cleveland and the stupid girl that was there when he was in the shower; Jack and his stupid incessant need to know everything that's going on in her life at all times just so he can point out when she does stuff wrong; Jenna not knowing her middle name; Dennis not knowing her middle name; probably nobody knowing her middle name; the fact that she almost died. Everything hits her at once at a million miles an hour and she suddenly starts crying.
Jack looks... really freaked out. There's a hint of amusement there, but it's mostly the freaking out she can see in his expression. "Lemon? Liz..."
The fact that he's using her first name just makes her cry even harder, because he never does that unless it's serious. So she starts cry-talking, asking what is the deal with Dennis, and she knows that she sounds vaguely like Jerry Seinfeld again but she can't help it. She feels Jack's hand warm on her back, right between her shoulder blades, and for the first time she kind of wants Jack to give her a hug.
But that's just... stupid, so. Instead she shrugs off his hand and takes off her glasses, wiping at her eyes angrily like it's their fault that the tears came out. She sets her glasses aside and tries to compose herself, telling him, "I'm fine," which is the lamest thing ever because Jack's been able to see through her since the day they met.
"You're not," he counters, and who is she to argue with him?
"I'm not." So as calmly as she can, she launches into the whole stupid story. By the time she gets to the part about the subway tracks, the whole almost-dying thing once again slaps her in the face and she starts crying again.
And this time she doesn't even need to ask for it. Jack wraps an arm around her and tucks her into his side while he murmurs calming things (though she doesn't remember recognizing any actual words, but she may have been too distressed). She turns in toward him and pretty soon her face is buried against his chest, both of his arms are around her and she's getting tears on the lapel of his suit.
Her hand touches his chest, grasps his tie and she realizes what she's doing. She's crying on Jack. And Jack is holding her. This is... not at all something that they do. And she should stop it. Slowly, her crying stops and she looks up at him. Her hand is still grasping his tie. "Sorry," she apologizes, and takes a step back, one of her hands leaving his chest. The one holding his tie is the last to drop back to her side.
Jack smiles a little bit, just barely, and cuts his eyes to the side like he's embarrassed that they hugged or something. "You should never apologize for letting yourself be overcome with emotion, Lemon. You're only human."
"Right," she says. But not like she's disagreeing with him. She is human. "I'm just so... tired of this."
"Of what? Dennis? Well I should think so. You've dated him, what - three times in the last three years?"
"Not just Dennis. Well, I am tired of Dennis." She frowns. "But that's not the point. I'm tired of surrounding myself with people that are wrong for me. With people that don't know me." She sighs and finishes wiping at her tears. "I just want to be with someone that knows me."
Jack's just looking at her, probably wondering what the hell she's talking about (or mentally setting her up with another of his lesbian friends -- Jack probably knows lots). Liz shakes her head and chuckles a little to herself (even though she's not finding anything particularly funny at the moment). "I mean at this point I'd probably kiss the first person that knows my middle name." She tilts her head when she sees Jack's eyebrows go up. "Yes, even if it's a girl, and no that does not make me a lesbian. So don't even try to set me up again."
Jack purses his lips a little bit but still says nothing. She really hates when he gets in these moods, where he says nothing and she ends up spilling her guts. It's totally annoying. She sighs. "Nevermind. Forget I came in here, forget that I cried, forget that..." She makes a face when she looks at his suit. "Forget that I kinda got tear stains on your shirt and your tie, and we'll just pretend that none of this ever happened. Better yet, why don't we just pretend this entire day never happened. That'd be really great." He still doesn't say anything, just stares at her, so she nods and presses her lips together. "Right. Okay, great talking with you."
She turns to leave and gets as far as almost touching the doorknob when he finally says something: "Ann."
And she turns around. Her heart's doing this weird floppy thing. "What?"
"Ann." He slips his hands into his pockets and takes a couple steps toward her. "Your middle name? Elizabeth Ann Lemon."
Liz rolls her eyes. "Alright, bravo, good for you. You've been reading my personnel file again."
Jack shakes his head. "No, that's not listed in your personnel file." Without waiting for her to react to the fact that he obviously reads her file enough to know what is and isn't in it, he adds, "Your mother called you by your full name when you were arguing at Saturdaze."
She pauses, cocks her head a little bit while looking at him skeptically. "So you... you actually know it know it from hearing it once?"
"Yes."
Well, she warned him she was going to do it. So really, he has no right to look surprised when she marches right up to him, grabs his face and kisses him. What happens next is a surprise to them both.
Jack starts to kiss her back -- passionately -- before she can let go of him. He cradles the small of her back as her heart does more flippy things and kisses her some more, and... she kisses back.
So they're basically just standing there kissing each other, and it was only supposed to be a peck on his lips because he really, genuinely knows her. It was supposed to feel kinda awkward, maybe they'd have a laugh over it or something and then forget about it. It was never supposed to last more than five seconds, and it definitely wasn't supposed to feel like they should've done this a long time ago.
Jack's hand slips between her unzipped sweatshirt and her tee shirt, curving around her waist, while his lips move to her jawline and Liz feels a little weak in the knees. But, y'know that could just be because she was doing all that running. Then Jack's lips hit her neck and a noise comes out -- a whimper or a moan or something, and there's no blaming that on the running.
His hands slide up her sides to her shoulders, and he pushes the sweatshirt down her arms until it hits the floor. And normally Liz would be so not cool with this, because it's Jack and he can be really annoying. But today, she just really needs to be with someone that knows her. And she can't believe she never noticed before, but -- Jack knows knows her.
Like even the day they met, he just somehow knew all this crazy obscure stuff about her that nobody else ever knew or bothered to ask about. He's met her family, her newly dysfunctional family, and she's met his. He knows (well, found out a few months ago) that when she wants to get away from her idiot staff, she hides behind the prop shelves. Just like how she knows that he goes to Sbarro when he's angry, the New York Stock Exchange when he's horny (the couple of times she had to retrieve him had been kiiiinda awkward), and Christie's (where Satan -- er, um, Phoebe works) when he's depressed.
He knows her better than anyone else in her life. And as she closes her eyes and lets him pull her shirt over her head, she doesn't feel any sense of impending doom. As she loosens his tie and tells him to lock the door, it's not awkward. And she doesn't feel nervous, like she probably should. She feels wanted, desired... known.
Maybe the Dennis thing led to something good after all.
But no way is she gonna thank him.
FIN
{x-posted to jack_liz and 30_rock}