Flowers in Bloom - RPF (Crystal/Lee) - PG-13
Title: Flowers in Bloom
Fandom: American Idol RPF (Crystal Bowersox/Lee DeWyze)
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 2005
Summary: Someone asks Crystal a question and she doesn't know how to answer.
The question throws her off guard, even though it really shouldn't. It's not like she hasn't been thinking about it-she has, every day, in fact. What's surprising is that it took this long for someone to ask.
She shakes her head, tries to return her attention to the source of the inquiry, who is now staring at her with confusion.
Crystal bites her lip. "What?"
It's not that she didn't hear. She just needs a reminder sometimes.
--
Lee strums his guitar, as usual. He's practicing, again, as usual. He doesn't even notice her standing there until she's right on top of him... as usual. (She hates it, but kind of loves it, too. How oblivious he is. It's strangely endearing.)
He jumps when she puts a hand on his shoulder, and she laughs. "Holy shit, Crystal. I didn't see you there."
She wishes he would.
--
Neither of them actually remembers the first time they said "I love you."
His was in front of millions, cameras everywhere. An impromptu declaration of love-that-was-maybe-not-quite-there-yet, which isn't to say he was insincere. He meant it, but he was also caught up in the moment and it didn't come out like he wanted it to. He only knows he said it because it's played back to him on video, over and over and over. It takes him by surprise the first several times. He never knows what to make of it.
Hers, well-hers came later.
--
There's that time they don't speak to each other for two months. It's not intentional; it just sort of happens.
It also might have something to do with the fact that Crystal decides to get back together with Tony, and even though she never tells Lee, he figures it out somehow. And they sort of stop talking to each other.
Predictably, she and Tony have another messy breakup, and because Lee isn't speaking to her, she doesn't tell him. But he figures it out somehow.
And then everything goes back to normal.
--
Lee, shockingly, makes the first move. Crystal always thought she would have to hit him over the head (literally) before he realized how she felt, but every once in a while he surprises her by being perceptive, and does something crazy like show up at her doorstep with a bouquet of sunflowers.
"I saw these and I thought of you," he says.
"So... you bought them. And you came here." She frowns. "Lee, you live on the opposite side of the city."
"Can I come in," he asks, but it isn't really a question.
Crystal shakes her head. "Tony's sleeping, and we're flying out to Ohio tomorrow for the holidays." No one understands why she always makes excuses, but she has to. Something compels her, drives her to build up these walls as her only defense to keep from getting screwed over. Lee takes a step back, his eyes piercing hers.
"I wish you'd let me in," he says finally.
"I want to," she says with a sigh. "But it's not that simple."
He hands her the flowers and walks away wordlessly, and she leans against the doorframe, watching him. She half-expects him to make some big romantic gesture, to turn around, run back to her, kiss the breath out of her, hold her in his arms until sunrise. She waits till long after his figure disappears into the shadows, but he never comes back.
--
On New Year's Eve, when about a hundred people are crammed into Mike's house for his annual party, Crystal looks into Lee's eyes and whispers, "I love you."
"You're drunk," Lee corrects her.
"No I'm not," she says. She is. "Fine, I am, but that doesn't change the fact that I love you. I've always loved you."
Lee, who had a lot less to drink, knows he shouldn't venture forth where he's about to go, but he does so anyway. "What do you mean?"
"The first time... the first time I saw you. Chicago."
"You had a boyfriend. You wouldn't stop talking about him," he adds begrudgingly, even though he shouldn't have, but she's so drunk that she doesn't notice.
"I knew," she says. "I knew it when... when..." She stops, stares at him with wide eyes, and suddenly clasps both hands over her mouth. Seconds later, she lurches over and spews the half-digested contents of what looks like chips, salsa, and a bottle's worth of wine on the floor. "Shit," she says, noticing that people are staring, hearing concerned echoes of "Are you okay?" mixed with groans of disgust. "I need to lie down."
"Let's wash up and get you a glass of water," Lee says, throwing glares at the crowd slowly forming around them. "Come on," he urges, gently tugging her sleeve as he leads her to the bathroom. Once they're there, he tells her, "I'll be back in a minute," and runs off to clean up her mess, some nagging part of him wondering if he's doing it because she told him she loves him, or because he loves her.
He takes her home and they miss the countdown to 2011, miss making fun of Ryan's awkward attempt to co-host with the ailing Dick Clark, miss an excuse to kiss at midnight. He tucks her into bed and drives home and tries to think of anything but. In the morning, he calls to wish her a happy new year and make sure she's okay.
"My head's killing me, and I don't remember anything before I got sick, but I'll be fine," she says. "I need to learn not to overdo it."
"Yeah," he murmurs in agreement.
"I hope I didn't do anything else that was too embarrassing," she laughs.
"No, you were... well, everyone else was really drunk too," he tries, and she laughs again.
There's a long pause, and then Crystal says, "Thank you, Lee," her voice breaking. "Thanks for taking care of me. I don't know what I would have done."
"It's okay," he says. "I didn't mind at all."
--
For Lee's first solo show in L.A., everyone makes arrangements to go and support him. The screams of teenage girls around them are almost deafening, so Crystal decides there's no harm in going backstage. He performs a few more songs before he notices her standing beside the curtain, grinning like she might burst.
He sings his last song and retreats backstage and she runs to him, leaps into his arms, and he spins her around like he did when they found out they were the Top 2, except this time she doesn't let go, and she whispers "I'm ready now," even though she can't know for sure if he is, too.
Then he kisses her, and notices that she's smiling as his lips press into hers, and the softness of her skin as her hands cup his face, and that she smells like flowers, and he wants to take it all in, remember every detail, preserve it forever.
The cheers of the audience grow louder, demanding an encore. "I have to go back out there," Lee says, linking his fingers through hers.
She smiles, kisses him again. "I'll be right here."
--
Then it's simple, holding hands as they walk through the park, alternating pushing Tony on the swings, kissing in public and not caring who sees. His arm drapes lazily around her waist as they walk beside the ocean, feeling the sand shift beneath them, tasting the salt in the air, caring not about anything else in the world.
--
Eventually they realize that it's never simple.
--
It doesn't take long for the media to get wind of their relationship and suddenly photos and rumors are everywhere, plastered on magazines and gossip websites that are hungry for drama from American Idol's first real romance.
Crystal pretends to hate it, complaining to Lee that there were so many bigger issues to worry about, wars and environmental disasters and slave labor, and people are wasting time worrying about them. But some part of her loves it, loves that others can see how special their love story is-because it is.
Then she sees some of the vicious things people are saying about her and really does hate it. She forgets that most of Lee's fans are high school girls. She forgot how petty high school girls can be.
When she tells Lee it bothers her, he sighs. "So some losers on the internet are saying not-nice things about you. Who cares. You heard what everyone was saying about me when I won the show."
"That was different," Crystal says.
"You're just not used to people saying anything bad about you," he says.
Crystal raises her eyebrows. "You've got to be kidding. You have no idea what things were like for me when I was growing up, the shit people said. I left home." Lee opens his mouth to speak, but she isn't done. "And no one was particularly thrilled when I came back home knocked up by a guy I left behind in Europe."
"I'm sorry," he says. "It came out wrong."
"Single mothers get shit thrown on them all the time, and it sucks," she adds.
"I'm sorry," he says again. He rubs his right temple and winces, feeling a headache coming on.
She sighs. "No, I am too. I don't know why I'm taking this out on you."
He doesn't know why either, but he nods. "It's okay."
It isn't, though. Crystal studies him for a moment. "Maybe we should lay low for a while," she says, knowing full well that she's doing it again, building up the walls. She stares at him expectantly, waiting for him to tell her she's overreacting, and to ignore what people were saying, and that everything would be fine.
But he isn't in the mood to argue, so he shrugs and says, "Okay."
--
Most of the time Crystal sees herself as something like a sunflower, towering over all the roses and daisies and lilies, impossible to ignore, beautiful and free.
Then there are the days she feels like ivy, spreading over walls like cancer.
--
She decides to focus on the important things in her life, namely Little Tony, who's growing bigger every day, who still surprises her with his now fully-formed sentences-and today, his first real question.
"When's Uncle Lee coming home?"
She looks away, shaking her head, and then looks back at him. Tony stares at her with confusion and she bites her lip. "What?" she asks, even though she heard.
She just needs a reminder sometimes.
"I miss Uncle Lee," Tony says sadly.
"I do too, sweetie," she says. "Come on. Let's get your things and go to the park."
He skips off, grabbing a few of his favorite toys that had been scattered about the house and she thumbs the phone in her pocket and then pulls it out, dials before she has time to reconsider, knowing that she'll try to stop herself if she does.
It rings three times and goes to voicemail, and she sighs, ends the call. Tony tugs at her pants leg and she grabs his hand. "I'll buy you some ice cream when we get there," she tells him. She still wants him to have everything she never could.
He's standing there when she opens the door, his arm raised mid-knock.
"Uncle Lee!" Tony shrieks, wrapping himself around Lee's leg.
Lee gives Crystal a sheepish grin. "I, um," he begins.
"We missed you," she interrupts. "I... really missed you."
Lee bends down and scoops Tony into his arms. "I missed you too," he says, hugging Tony while looking at Crystal.
"I just asked Mommy when you were coming home!" Tony exclaims with pride.
"Well..." Lee glances at Crystal, and she nods, mouthing it's okay. He ruffles Tony's hair and says, "I'm here now. Your mom can't get rid of me that easily." She smiles and he reaches for her hand, pulling her into their embrace.
Fandom: American Idol RPF (Crystal Bowersox/Lee DeWyze)
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 2005
Summary: Someone asks Crystal a question and she doesn't know how to answer.
The question throws her off guard, even though it really shouldn't. It's not like she hasn't been thinking about it-she has, every day, in fact. What's surprising is that it took this long for someone to ask.
She shakes her head, tries to return her attention to the source of the inquiry, who is now staring at her with confusion.
Crystal bites her lip. "What?"
It's not that she didn't hear. She just needs a reminder sometimes.
--
Lee strums his guitar, as usual. He's practicing, again, as usual. He doesn't even notice her standing there until she's right on top of him... as usual. (She hates it, but kind of loves it, too. How oblivious he is. It's strangely endearing.)
He jumps when she puts a hand on his shoulder, and she laughs. "Holy shit, Crystal. I didn't see you there."
She wishes he would.
--
Neither of them actually remembers the first time they said "I love you."
His was in front of millions, cameras everywhere. An impromptu declaration of love-that-was-maybe-not-quite-there-yet, which isn't to say he was insincere. He meant it, but he was also caught up in the moment and it didn't come out like he wanted it to. He only knows he said it because it's played back to him on video, over and over and over. It takes him by surprise the first several times. He never knows what to make of it.
Hers, well-hers came later.
--
There's that time they don't speak to each other for two months. It's not intentional; it just sort of happens.
It also might have something to do with the fact that Crystal decides to get back together with Tony, and even though she never tells Lee, he figures it out somehow. And they sort of stop talking to each other.
Predictably, she and Tony have another messy breakup, and because Lee isn't speaking to her, she doesn't tell him. But he figures it out somehow.
And then everything goes back to normal.
--
Lee, shockingly, makes the first move. Crystal always thought she would have to hit him over the head (literally) before he realized how she felt, but every once in a while he surprises her by being perceptive, and does something crazy like show up at her doorstep with a bouquet of sunflowers.
"I saw these and I thought of you," he says.
"So... you bought them. And you came here." She frowns. "Lee, you live on the opposite side of the city."
"Can I come in," he asks, but it isn't really a question.
Crystal shakes her head. "Tony's sleeping, and we're flying out to Ohio tomorrow for the holidays." No one understands why she always makes excuses, but she has to. Something compels her, drives her to build up these walls as her only defense to keep from getting screwed over. Lee takes a step back, his eyes piercing hers.
"I wish you'd let me in," he says finally.
"I want to," she says with a sigh. "But it's not that simple."
He hands her the flowers and walks away wordlessly, and she leans against the doorframe, watching him. She half-expects him to make some big romantic gesture, to turn around, run back to her, kiss the breath out of her, hold her in his arms until sunrise. She waits till long after his figure disappears into the shadows, but he never comes back.
--
On New Year's Eve, when about a hundred people are crammed into Mike's house for his annual party, Crystal looks into Lee's eyes and whispers, "I love you."
"You're drunk," Lee corrects her.
"No I'm not," she says. She is. "Fine, I am, but that doesn't change the fact that I love you. I've always loved you."
Lee, who had a lot less to drink, knows he shouldn't venture forth where he's about to go, but he does so anyway. "What do you mean?"
"The first time... the first time I saw you. Chicago."
"You had a boyfriend. You wouldn't stop talking about him," he adds begrudgingly, even though he shouldn't have, but she's so drunk that she doesn't notice.
"I knew," she says. "I knew it when... when..." She stops, stares at him with wide eyes, and suddenly clasps both hands over her mouth. Seconds later, she lurches over and spews the half-digested contents of what looks like chips, salsa, and a bottle's worth of wine on the floor. "Shit," she says, noticing that people are staring, hearing concerned echoes of "Are you okay?" mixed with groans of disgust. "I need to lie down."
"Let's wash up and get you a glass of water," Lee says, throwing glares at the crowd slowly forming around them. "Come on," he urges, gently tugging her sleeve as he leads her to the bathroom. Once they're there, he tells her, "I'll be back in a minute," and runs off to clean up her mess, some nagging part of him wondering if he's doing it because she told him she loves him, or because he loves her.
He takes her home and they miss the countdown to 2011, miss making fun of Ryan's awkward attempt to co-host with the ailing Dick Clark, miss an excuse to kiss at midnight. He tucks her into bed and drives home and tries to think of anything but. In the morning, he calls to wish her a happy new year and make sure she's okay.
"My head's killing me, and I don't remember anything before I got sick, but I'll be fine," she says. "I need to learn not to overdo it."
"Yeah," he murmurs in agreement.
"I hope I didn't do anything else that was too embarrassing," she laughs.
"No, you were... well, everyone else was really drunk too," he tries, and she laughs again.
There's a long pause, and then Crystal says, "Thank you, Lee," her voice breaking. "Thanks for taking care of me. I don't know what I would have done."
"It's okay," he says. "I didn't mind at all."
--
For Lee's first solo show in L.A., everyone makes arrangements to go and support him. The screams of teenage girls around them are almost deafening, so Crystal decides there's no harm in going backstage. He performs a few more songs before he notices her standing beside the curtain, grinning like she might burst.
He sings his last song and retreats backstage and she runs to him, leaps into his arms, and he spins her around like he did when they found out they were the Top 2, except this time she doesn't let go, and she whispers "I'm ready now," even though she can't know for sure if he is, too.
Then he kisses her, and notices that she's smiling as his lips press into hers, and the softness of her skin as her hands cup his face, and that she smells like flowers, and he wants to take it all in, remember every detail, preserve it forever.
The cheers of the audience grow louder, demanding an encore. "I have to go back out there," Lee says, linking his fingers through hers.
She smiles, kisses him again. "I'll be right here."
--
Then it's simple, holding hands as they walk through the park, alternating pushing Tony on the swings, kissing in public and not caring who sees. His arm drapes lazily around her waist as they walk beside the ocean, feeling the sand shift beneath them, tasting the salt in the air, caring not about anything else in the world.
--
Eventually they realize that it's never simple.
--
It doesn't take long for the media to get wind of their relationship and suddenly photos and rumors are everywhere, plastered on magazines and gossip websites that are hungry for drama from American Idol's first real romance.
Crystal pretends to hate it, complaining to Lee that there were so many bigger issues to worry about, wars and environmental disasters and slave labor, and people are wasting time worrying about them. But some part of her loves it, loves that others can see how special their love story is-because it is.
Then she sees some of the vicious things people are saying about her and really does hate it. She forgets that most of Lee's fans are high school girls. She forgot how petty high school girls can be.
When she tells Lee it bothers her, he sighs. "So some losers on the internet are saying not-nice things about you. Who cares. You heard what everyone was saying about me when I won the show."
"That was different," Crystal says.
"You're just not used to people saying anything bad about you," he says.
Crystal raises her eyebrows. "You've got to be kidding. You have no idea what things were like for me when I was growing up, the shit people said. I left home." Lee opens his mouth to speak, but she isn't done. "And no one was particularly thrilled when I came back home knocked up by a guy I left behind in Europe."
"I'm sorry," he says. "It came out wrong."
"Single mothers get shit thrown on them all the time, and it sucks," she adds.
"I'm sorry," he says again. He rubs his right temple and winces, feeling a headache coming on.
She sighs. "No, I am too. I don't know why I'm taking this out on you."
He doesn't know why either, but he nods. "It's okay."
It isn't, though. Crystal studies him for a moment. "Maybe we should lay low for a while," she says, knowing full well that she's doing it again, building up the walls. She stares at him expectantly, waiting for him to tell her she's overreacting, and to ignore what people were saying, and that everything would be fine.
But he isn't in the mood to argue, so he shrugs and says, "Okay."
--
Most of the time Crystal sees herself as something like a sunflower, towering over all the roses and daisies and lilies, impossible to ignore, beautiful and free.
Then there are the days she feels like ivy, spreading over walls like cancer.
--
She decides to focus on the important things in her life, namely Little Tony, who's growing bigger every day, who still surprises her with his now fully-formed sentences-and today, his first real question.
"When's Uncle Lee coming home?"
She looks away, shaking her head, and then looks back at him. Tony stares at her with confusion and she bites her lip. "What?" she asks, even though she heard.
She just needs a reminder sometimes.
"I miss Uncle Lee," Tony says sadly.
"I do too, sweetie," she says. "Come on. Let's get your things and go to the park."
He skips off, grabbing a few of his favorite toys that had been scattered about the house and she thumbs the phone in her pocket and then pulls it out, dials before she has time to reconsider, knowing that she'll try to stop herself if she does.
It rings three times and goes to voicemail, and she sighs, ends the call. Tony tugs at her pants leg and she grabs his hand. "I'll buy you some ice cream when we get there," she tells him. She still wants him to have everything she never could.
He's standing there when she opens the door, his arm raised mid-knock.
"Uncle Lee!" Tony shrieks, wrapping himself around Lee's leg.
Lee gives Crystal a sheepish grin. "I, um," he begins.
"We missed you," she interrupts. "I... really missed you."
Lee bends down and scoops Tony into his arms. "I missed you too," he says, hugging Tony while looking at Crystal.
"I just asked Mommy when you were coming home!" Tony exclaims with pride.
"Well..." Lee glances at Crystal, and she nods, mouthing it's okay. He ruffles Tony's hair and says, "I'm here now. Your mom can't get rid of me that easily." She smiles and he reaches for her hand, pulling her into their embrace.