Whatever This Is (Once Upon a Time; Regina/Emma)
TITLE: Whatever This Is
CHAPTER 18: Composure
FANDOM: Once Upon a Time
PAIRING: Swan Queen (Regina/Emma)
SPOILERS: AU from beginning of "The Cricket Game"
RATING: PG-13
SUMMARY: She has an occasional visit from her son, but even those are getting rarer since his father’s been in town. He’s still over every Friday, but it’s only for the night rather than the weekend. And when he arrives on her doorstep, she catches just a hint of the yellow death-trap that dropped him off before it rounds the corner out of sight. She’s not sure what hurts more in those instances - the idea that Emma’s just abiding by her severed ties without question, or the idea that maybe Emma doesn’t want to see her either.
*****
An entire week has passed and she’s beginning to adjust to being completely alone once again. The phone seldom rings; and if it does, it’s Henry checking in. She doesn’t dare go anyplace outside of work and home, for fear she’ll run into Emma and they’ll repeat the awkwardness they exhibited at the loft.
She can only wonder if David mustered enough perception to figure out their friendship was on the fritz - and if he did, did he care at all? Dumb as he was, he always seemed a bit more supportive of that friendship than the princess. Not that it mattered anymore. Snow had her daughter back full-time now, and she probably couldn’t be more ecstatic.
Not to mention, the father of their grandchild is in town. Granted it’s the son of Rumplestiltskin, but still - they must be thrilled at the prospect of the reunion of another nuclear family - with Regina on the outskirts, as usual.
So she’s had to find things to do to fill her time. The first couple of days, she listened to records and contemplated visiting the Fox & Hound again to buy more. The next few was when the weather began to warm up and she resumed working in her garden. Now it’s a week later and she’s beginning to run out of things to do. And she’s lonely.
She has missed Emma terribly. She knows she did the right thing in letting her go - particularly if she was going to continue to swim in denial - but she’s not sure if it’s really saving her any pain in the long run. She thinks either way, pain is involved. She knows it would hurt like hell to be around her and have these unrequited feelings, but it almost hurts more to be without her completely.
When she was with her, it was agony to sit near her, be able to touch her and be touched, and know that nothing would come of it. But she still had her. She still had someone to talk to, to sit with, and to share a glass of wine and an album with. She had a companion. And now what does she have?
An empty house and a hollow heart. She has an occasional visit from her son, but even those are getting rarer since his father’s been in town. He’s still over every Friday, but it’s only for the night rather than the weekend. And when he arrives on her doorstep, she catches just a hint of the yellow death-trap that dropped him off before it rounds the corner out of sight.
She’s not sure what hurts more in those instances - the idea that Emma’s just abiding by her severed ties without question, or the idea that maybe Emma doesn’t want to see her either.
Henry knows what’s going on - in a sense, anyway. Always the perceptive one - he picked up on it after the first few days. “She misses you too,” he told her once, when he found her just staring out the window. And that was all he said on the matter.
And now, on the ninth day of her self-induced confinement, Regina decides she’s had enough of being cooped up. If she runs into Emma, then so be it. Perhaps it will be unpleasant, but it would still be nice to see her. And today is the perfect opportunity for her to get out for awhile - Henry will be picked up soon, and it’s a Saturday night. Perhaps she’ll even visit the Rabbit Hole and have a drink or two.
The doorbell rings and she throws a glance toward the stairs, calling for her son. “Henry! Ready to go?”
“Just a sec!” he yells, and Regina resigns herself to answering the door. She’s gotten so used to him just bolting out that she hasn’t had to worry about letting anyone in.
So she steels herself and gets ready for the head of blonde sure to greet her on the other side. Instead, it’s a man. And a scruffy-looking one at that. Like a stray dog, in human form.
He points at her and raises his eyebrows. “You Regina?” he asks.
One brow arches sharply as she regards him, and she puts on her best mayoral tone. “Yes. And you are?”
“Oh! Uh, sorry.” He clumsily sticks out a hand. “Neal. Neal Cassady.”
Regina just looks at his hand, then back up, thinking, So this is him.
An awkward silence settles around them, and Neal chuckles uneasily, withdrawing the unshaken hand. “Germaphobe, huh?”
She thinks that he’s attempting a joke. “I beg your pardon?”
He clears his throat, “Nevermind,” and averts his eyes a moment.
Outwardly, she gives a little smirk and says, “The infamous Baelfire - the prodigal son himself.”
He glares at her. “The name’s Neal.”
She just shrugs, not caring in the slightest.
Already she can’t stand him, and wonders how Emma could have possibly been willing to take off her clothes for this man. “So you’re Henry’s father,” she says, her voice smooth and even, if a little deep.
“Yeah. Crazy, huh?” He smiles, but it’s a forced expression - and more than a bit strained.
She hopes it’s because she’s making him uncomfortable. The smile she gives him in return is catlike, and overly polite as she answers, “Indeed.”
He shifts again, and she’s rather enjoying how nervous he seems. Perhaps she hasn’t gone soft after all, if she can still make people squirm.
“You’re, uh…” he points to her. “You’re Henry’s foster mom?”
“Adoptive,” she corrects archly. “I adopted him, he’s my son.”
“Right.”
If she were more vindictive, he’d have been turned into a toad by now. She’s not completely sold on refraining from doing so just yet. But after another pitiful moment of him shifting on his feet and looking nervous, she forces herself to ease up as she tells him, “Henry will just be a moment.”
“Oh.” He seems visibly relieved that their interaction is coming to an end. “Okay, great.”
Henry comes bounding down the stairs, yelling out, “Dad!” and launching himself at the man.
It sears her heart, but she swallows the feeling and forces herself to regain her composure. “Henry…”
“Oh, right!” Pulling himself away, he throws himself at her midsection instead. “Bye, Mom.”
She wraps her arms around him and runs a hand through his hair, pointedly avoiding looking at Neal. “Goodbye, sweetheart. When will I see you again?”
“How about lunch tomorrow?” Neal suggests, causing her to look up. When she does, he shrugs. “I mean… y’know, you kinda don’t seem to see him a lot.”
“Yes, well.” She flashes an unfriendly smile. “Seems he’s been a little busy with out-of-town guests.”
At least he has the decency to look guilty as he says, “Right. Well, I’d like for you to see him more. I know Emma would too.”
Her heart flutters at the name and she damns herself.
“Plus,” he continues, shrugging, “I was gonna take Emma out tonight. And if things go well, y’know…”
The implication is left dangling and Regina feels her cheeks burning. She wants to send him up in flames.
“Maybe we’ll want a break from the little guy tomorrow.”
She clenches her teeth a moment and thinks of all the spells she could conjure right now to resolve this issue. “Of course.”
Henry just smiles between the two of them, either too young to understand the silent implication or happily ignoring it as he exclaims, “Cool!”
Neal must sense then that he needs to vacate her property, because he claps Henry on the back. “Alright slugger, let’s hit the road.” Waving to Regina, he tells her, “We should do this again sometime,” and she has no idea if he’s being facetious or if he’s actually that stupid.
Either way, he’s a jackass and she hates him. She smiles through the vitriol rising inside. “Nice to meet you, Neal.”
It’s not genuine and he can tell. “Yeah, you too, Regina. Been a real treat.”
Then she watches them walk down the street together, and she waits until they’re out of earshot before she slams the door.
*****
She goes to Granny’s diner an hour later just to get out of the house. She’s still boiling with hate over her encounter with Gold’s idiot son and she needs to take out her frustration on something greasy and terrible for her.
She may be a queen, but she still enjoys a hamburger every now and then.
“Hey, Regina!” Ruby greets her as she enters, and it seems enough time has passed that she no longer receives death glares when she enters a Storybrooke establishment. Though aside from Ruby, she’s far from receiving a warm welcome.
She smiles, “Ruby,” and slides onto a barstool. She folds her hands on the counter and looks around at the other patrons, who have all gone back to their respective meals and conversations, before she feels a presence in front of her.
“Coffee?” Ruby asks.
She nods, adding, “And the biggest burger you’ve got.”
Ruby winks and points to her with a stubby little red pencil, telling her, “You got it,” before flouncing off to get her coffee.
In seconds, the bell above the door jingles, and in walks Emma. Regina’s stomach churns and her heart flutters all at once, and her encounter with Neal comes flooding back to her. Emma hasn’t spotted her, but as she walks past, Regina wastes no time reaching out to grab her by the upper arm, forcefully.
“Ow, hey!”
“Do you have a moment?” she asks, and all but flings the blonde onto the barstool beside hers.
Emma rubs her arm, complaining, “Jesus, Regina! Tense much?”
They’ve already gathered the attention of a few neighboring tables, but Regina pays them no mind as she leans in and hisses, “Do not ever send that derelict to pick up my son, ever again. Do you understand me?”
“He’s my son too,” Emma throws back at her, looking wounded. She still rubs her arm as she shrugs. “And I’m sorry, but I couldn’t get away from work! Some kids vandalized the water tower - David and I had to go take a look at it.”
“Then you could have picked up Henry when you were finished.” Her voice is still a low hiss and she’s over-enunciating every word as one is prone to do when they’re boiling with anger, but it doesn’t seem to faze Emma in the slightest.
“Regina, I don’t get what the big deal is. I couldn’t come over then to get him, so I sent Neal.” Shrugging again, she asks almost patronizingly, “Would you rather I send Mary Margaret next time?”
“Yes!”
At that, Emma’s eyes go wide. “Seriously?”
“Emma?” Ruby stops back with Regina’s coffee, setting it down by the saucer.
“Hey, Ruby,” Emma sighs. “Just here to grab that to-go order.”
The waitress nods. “Two Reubens - they’re all set to go!”
Regina glares at the blonde. “And I suppose the other one is for Neal?”
Emma rolls her eyes. “No, actually the other one is for David. We’re up to our eyeballs in paperwork thanks to those dumb kids, so we’re working through lunch.”
“Yes, well, best get everything done before your big date tonight,” she seethes. And she knows she sounds jealous and catty, but she can’t help it. Nor does she want to. Emma’s back to being the thorn in her side and needs to know it.
“My what?” At that, the savior looks genuinely confused.
Regina throws her a sideways glance before looking down at her cup of coffee, imagining for a split-second how gratifying it would be to throw it in Emma’s face. “Neal asked me to take Henry to lunch tomorrow, just in case your date goes well tonight and you two want some time alone.”
The blonde’s eyes grow about as wide as Regina’s cup. “He said what?!”
Several heads whip around to look at them, and Regina smiles to herself, hoping Emma is good and embarrassed. But she knows better. She knew it shortly after they met - the blonde has no shame.
It’s one of the things she’s always enjoyed about her.
She watches, then, as Emma grows angry. “I’m gonna kill him.”
Regina raises her eyebrows. “Not that I would mind you doing so, but why?”
“Because we’re not going on a date! Or at least,” she makes a face, “I didn’t think we were.”
She purses her lips, taking a sip of coffee. “Sounds like he thinks otherwise, dear.”
“I swear to you it’s not a date.”
The wording piques her interest, and Regina can’t help but look up, brows furrowed as she asks her quietly, “Why would you need to swear to me, Miss Swan?” She pointedly uses formality and hopes it hurts Emma as much as it hurts her.
Emma gives her a look - a sad little look - and Regina can’t help but think mission accomplished. “Because, I… I don’t know.”
Regina shrugs. “I don’t know, either.”
She watches as the most interesting expression takes over Emma’s face. Her eyes dart back and forth like she’s trying to figure something out. And whatever that something is, it’s clearly worrying her. Then she grips the counter top and forces herself up, saying distractedly, “I have to go.”
A crinkling of plastic signals Ruby’s return, and she hands over a bag containing two Styrofoam-encased lunches. “Here ya go!”
“Thanks.” She still looks both distracted and horrified as she looks up with vacant eyes and asks the waitress, “How much?”
Regina’s eyes bounce to Ruby, who’s regarding Emma with curiosity. “Uh… David took care of it.”
“Okay.” She turns then and heads for the door without as much as a goodbye to either of them.
When she’s gone, Ruby makes a face. “That was weird.”
Regina smiles to herself, quipping, “I’d say it’s par for the course with Emma.”
At that, the waitress smirks, and reaches for an overflowing plate handed to her by one of the cooks. She sets it down in front of Regina and says, “Your burger, Your Majesty.”
Regina looks up at her…
“Sorry,” she winces. “I was trying to be funny.”
Surprisingly, all the vitriol within her has seemingly left when Emma swept out the door. So she gives the girl a smile. “I didn’t take offense.”
“Good!” Then, she leans on the counter. “So, I couldn’t help overhearing…”
Regina rolls her eyes. “Of course you couldn’t.”
Ruby shrugs. “Hey, small place - what can ya do?” She looks around momentarily before turning her attention back to Regina. “Couldn’t help overhearing what you guys were bickering about a little bit.”
“Yes, and?”
“And, I was wondering if you maybe wanted to hit the Rabbit Hole with me tonight.”
“What?” She can’t help being taken aback. “Why?”
“You kinda seem like you could use a friend.”
Regina swallows. “Well, I-“
“Come on,” Ruby goads, a wide grin on her face. “We’ll do shots, it’ll be fun.”
*****
Against her better judgment, she accepts Ruby’s offer, and by eight-thirty she’s found herself in that dimly-lit dive. She strides up to the bar, her usual spot, and looks at the stool on her left sadly, remembering the times she spent with Emma beside her in that very seat.
“There you are!”
She looks up at hearing the voice, and Ruby comes toward her. She moves to sit on the stool on her left side and Regina feels herself tensing. Ruby, clearly noticing this, smiles and moves to sit on her right instead. She jerks her chin at the bartender and says, “Two shots of Jack,” and nods when he nods back.
Regina feels compelled to tell her, “You know, I really don’t know that I should do shots.”
She shrugs. “Just one won’t hurt.”
She watches as the girl takes the brimming shot glasses with a gleeful smile, sliding one over to her. “Here you go - knock it back quick and painless, like this!” She then demonstrates by tipping her head back, downing the entirety of the shot glass in one gulp.
It’s daunting, and Regina looks down at her own shot glass. “I don’t… know that I can,” she says with a nervous smile.
“Come on, Regina! Do it like a Band-Aid.”
She can’t even begin to comprehend that particular metaphor, but does her best to abide. She tips her head back and feels the shot burning its way down her esophagus. She coughs when she tips her head back down, pressing one hand to her chest while the other slams the shot glass down on the bar. “Happy now?” she coughs.
“Yeah!”
Then she can’t help but ask, “Why did you invite me here?”
Ruby shrugs and gives the same cryptic answer she gave at the diner. “You seemed like you could use a friend.” But she toys with her long, curled hair as she says this and, though Regina may not have the same lie-detector skills as Emma, she knows she’s lying.
“Oh please. Even if I did, why on Earth would you want to spend time with me?” Smirking, she leans in a bit and reminds her, “I’m the Evil Queen, remember?”
Ruby chuckles. “Yeah, and I’m the Big Bad Wolf.”
“Ruby…”
“Okay, okay.” She rolls her eyes. “Emma may have spilled the beans about you guys last week.”
Regina sighs, “Of course she did,” and signals the bartender for a glass of wine. “And I can only assume Mary Margaret was first in the call list?”
Ruby looks briefly offended and tells her, “I didn’t breathe a word of it to Mary Margaret.” Shrugging one shoulder, she adds, “Still haven’t.”
She finds that hard to believe, and it must show on her face, because Ruby assures her, “Really. I haven’t.”
“Why not?” She receives her glass of Merlot from the bartender and nods her gratitude, taking a sip.
“Well, because. I’m Emma’s friend too. And… if you’re not too opposed to it, I could be yours as well. Because trust me, I’ve been where you’ve been.”
“Really.” Skepticism drips from her tone, and she looks at the girl sarcastically through her lashes. “You’ve fallen for your best friend and things didn’t work out.”
Ruby nods. “Yep.”
“Under different circumstances, I presume.”
Another nod and another, “Yep,” followed by, “I accidentally ate him.”
At that, Regina nearly does a spit-take, choking around the sip of wine she’d been taking. “You what?”
“Yeah. I was a wolf at the time, and didn’t know that I could turn into a wolf, and… I ended up kinda…” She cringes. “Eating him.”
Regina has so many questions she needs to ask surrounding that particular confession. But then Ruby’s hand is on her knee as she reiterates, “So trust me - I know what it’s like to lose your best friend and the person you love, all at the same time.”
There are still so many questions. But they likely don’t have time. And anything she’d been about to ask promptly leaves her head when she sees the way Ruby looks up and over her shoulder toward the door, her face falling.
“Oh… shit.” She meets eyes with Regina. “I am so, so sorry. I had no idea.”
She furrows her brows. “No idea about what?” And she turns around.
There’s Emma and that mangy Neal, grabbing a table near the door - against the window. She spins away and faces the bar again. “Wonderful.”
“I didn’t know they’d show up here.”
“Well, tonight is their big date.” She can’t help it - any time she says the word, it just slides out sarcastically.
“I don’t get why…” Ruby trails off, watching the other two for a moment.
Regina waits patiently, hoping the sentence will be finished, and takes another look over her shoulder at Emma and Neal. Her eyes instantly meet Emma’s before the blonde darts them away, opening her menu. Regina’s chest feels heavy and she pushes herself up.
“I think it’s time for me to head home.”
“Regina…”
“No.” She waves away both the attempt to get her to stay, and the sympathy that Ruby’s voice carries. “Really, I… I appreciate what you did, asking me to spend time with you tonight.” Looking down, she picks at a chipped piece of polish on her thumb nail. “Not many others would be so brave.” Looking up then, she puts on a brave face and tries for a smile, feeling as though she’s failed at it miserably. “Thank you, Ruby. Goodnight.”
“Wait…”
She heads for the door, not daring to look at Emma any more, even though she can hear footsteps following. She’s just outside the door, listening to it click shut when it bursts open again. “Regina.”
She spins, looking at Ruby, who keeps coming toward her. She watches as the brunette throws a glance behind her at the small window in the brick wall. She follows her gaze for a moment and sees a flash of blonde as Emma turns her head away.
She looks back to Ruby, who takes a step forward. “Listen, I know you probably still don’t believe me, but I do want to be your friend.” Before Regina can protest, she goes on. “And yeah, I know you’ve got a past. So do I. So does everyone else in this goddamn town. But I’ve seen you try.”
Regina’s breath catches inaudibly, and she searches the girl’s large eyes. The look in them is sincere.
“I’ve seen you work hard to be a better person. Whether that’s for Emma or for Henry, I don’t know and I don’t care. What matters is that you’re trying. And maybe some people are never gonna forgive all the things that you’ve done, and I don’t think anybody’s ever going to forget it, but you know what?” She points to herself, jabbing a flame red fingernail against her chest. “I forgive you. I forgive you for what you did, Regina.”
Regina presses her lips together; she can feel them shaking and struggles to hang on to her composure. She blinks away the gray mist in her eyes and nods. “Thank you, Ruby.”
Then the brunette rushes at her - she wraps her in a hug and Regina has no idea what to do she’s so surprised.
“Can I tell you a secret?” Ruby whispers.
Tentatively, she places her hands on the girl’s back. “Sure.”
“I don’t think you’re going to be feeling sad over this Emma thing for long. I think she feels the same way about you.”
Pulling away, Regina stares at her in surprise. The girl simply smiles.
“And you don’t have to believe me. But I see a lot. I see the way she looks at you and talks to you. And last week I saw how lonely she was without you. If she doesn’t know what she feels already, she will soon. And trust me, Regina, she’s gonna come knocking on your door when she does.”
She exhales a smile, patting Ruby’s arms. “I appreciate the confidence, Ruby. I’m not so sure myself, but I appreciate it all the same.”
Ruby widens her eyes and says, “Oh trust me. Emma’s gonna come to her senses.”
They say goodnight then, and Regina turns to leave. Just before she reaches the street, Ruby calls out to her again.
“Hey Regina!”
She spins, meeting the girl’s wide, wolfish grin. “I might come and get you later and convince you to come back out here with me. I think you could really use another friend.”
Regina smiles. “I appreciate that,” she says, and gives Ruby a wave before she heads off down the street, not seeing the blue-green eyes that had been watching her the entire time.
**
When she gets home, she tries to come to terms with all that has gone on that day and it takes well over an hour. Meeting that Neanderthal of a biological father, then her terse exchange with Emma, followed by Ruby’s invitation. Part of her still can’t quite believe that someone in this town aside from Emma and Henry have forgiven her.
And though it’s not much, it’s certainly a start. Ruby may not exactly run the town, but she seems to have her fingers in several different circles. And though the inhabitants of Storybrooke may never fully forgive her, perhaps having another person in her corner could help to ease the tension.
She pours herself another glass of wine, this one for free, and heads into the study. She’s just thumbing through the stack of albums there when she hears a loud knock on her front door.
She smirks to herself, rolling her eyes and finishing the sip of wine she’d been about to take, setting the glass on her desk. “Ruby…” she calls, the click of her heels echoing in the foyer. “I appreciate the valiant effort on your part to get me to do more shots, but-“
She swings open the door and all words on her breath stop cold. On her doorstep isn’t the doe-eyed brunette looking to drag her out of her cocoon. “…Emma.”
Instead, it’s a head of blonde and two intense blue-green eyes that meet her on the other side. “We need to talk.”
TBC
{x-posted to onceupon_fanfic and regina_emma}
CHAPTER 18: Composure
FANDOM: Once Upon a Time
PAIRING: Swan Queen (Regina/Emma)
SPOILERS: AU from beginning of "The Cricket Game"
RATING: PG-13
SUMMARY: She has an occasional visit from her son, but even those are getting rarer since his father’s been in town. He’s still over every Friday, but it’s only for the night rather than the weekend. And when he arrives on her doorstep, she catches just a hint of the yellow death-trap that dropped him off before it rounds the corner out of sight. She’s not sure what hurts more in those instances - the idea that Emma’s just abiding by her severed ties without question, or the idea that maybe Emma doesn’t want to see her either.
*****
An entire week has passed and she’s beginning to adjust to being completely alone once again. The phone seldom rings; and if it does, it’s Henry checking in. She doesn’t dare go anyplace outside of work and home, for fear she’ll run into Emma and they’ll repeat the awkwardness they exhibited at the loft.
She can only wonder if David mustered enough perception to figure out their friendship was on the fritz - and if he did, did he care at all? Dumb as he was, he always seemed a bit more supportive of that friendship than the princess. Not that it mattered anymore. Snow had her daughter back full-time now, and she probably couldn’t be more ecstatic.
Not to mention, the father of their grandchild is in town. Granted it’s the son of Rumplestiltskin, but still - they must be thrilled at the prospect of the reunion of another nuclear family - with Regina on the outskirts, as usual.
So she’s had to find things to do to fill her time. The first couple of days, she listened to records and contemplated visiting the Fox & Hound again to buy more. The next few was when the weather began to warm up and she resumed working in her garden. Now it’s a week later and she’s beginning to run out of things to do. And she’s lonely.
She has missed Emma terribly. She knows she did the right thing in letting her go - particularly if she was going to continue to swim in denial - but she’s not sure if it’s really saving her any pain in the long run. She thinks either way, pain is involved. She knows it would hurt like hell to be around her and have these unrequited feelings, but it almost hurts more to be without her completely.
When she was with her, it was agony to sit near her, be able to touch her and be touched, and know that nothing would come of it. But she still had her. She still had someone to talk to, to sit with, and to share a glass of wine and an album with. She had a companion. And now what does she have?
An empty house and a hollow heart. She has an occasional visit from her son, but even those are getting rarer since his father’s been in town. He’s still over every Friday, but it’s only for the night rather than the weekend. And when he arrives on her doorstep, she catches just a hint of the yellow death-trap that dropped him off before it rounds the corner out of sight.
She’s not sure what hurts more in those instances - the idea that Emma’s just abiding by her severed ties without question, or the idea that maybe Emma doesn’t want to see her either.
Henry knows what’s going on - in a sense, anyway. Always the perceptive one - he picked up on it after the first few days. “She misses you too,” he told her once, when he found her just staring out the window. And that was all he said on the matter.
And now, on the ninth day of her self-induced confinement, Regina decides she’s had enough of being cooped up. If she runs into Emma, then so be it. Perhaps it will be unpleasant, but it would still be nice to see her. And today is the perfect opportunity for her to get out for awhile - Henry will be picked up soon, and it’s a Saturday night. Perhaps she’ll even visit the Rabbit Hole and have a drink or two.
The doorbell rings and she throws a glance toward the stairs, calling for her son. “Henry! Ready to go?”
“Just a sec!” he yells, and Regina resigns herself to answering the door. She’s gotten so used to him just bolting out that she hasn’t had to worry about letting anyone in.
So she steels herself and gets ready for the head of blonde sure to greet her on the other side. Instead, it’s a man. And a scruffy-looking one at that. Like a stray dog, in human form.
He points at her and raises his eyebrows. “You Regina?” he asks.
One brow arches sharply as she regards him, and she puts on her best mayoral tone. “Yes. And you are?”
“Oh! Uh, sorry.” He clumsily sticks out a hand. “Neal. Neal Cassady.”
Regina just looks at his hand, then back up, thinking, So this is him.
An awkward silence settles around them, and Neal chuckles uneasily, withdrawing the unshaken hand. “Germaphobe, huh?”
She thinks that he’s attempting a joke. “I beg your pardon?”
He clears his throat, “Nevermind,” and averts his eyes a moment.
Outwardly, she gives a little smirk and says, “The infamous Baelfire - the prodigal son himself.”
He glares at her. “The name’s Neal.”
She just shrugs, not caring in the slightest.
Already she can’t stand him, and wonders how Emma could have possibly been willing to take off her clothes for this man. “So you’re Henry’s father,” she says, her voice smooth and even, if a little deep.
“Yeah. Crazy, huh?” He smiles, but it’s a forced expression - and more than a bit strained.
She hopes it’s because she’s making him uncomfortable. The smile she gives him in return is catlike, and overly polite as she answers, “Indeed.”
He shifts again, and she’s rather enjoying how nervous he seems. Perhaps she hasn’t gone soft after all, if she can still make people squirm.
“You’re, uh…” he points to her. “You’re Henry’s foster mom?”
“Adoptive,” she corrects archly. “I adopted him, he’s my son.”
“Right.”
If she were more vindictive, he’d have been turned into a toad by now. She’s not completely sold on refraining from doing so just yet. But after another pitiful moment of him shifting on his feet and looking nervous, she forces herself to ease up as she tells him, “Henry will just be a moment.”
“Oh.” He seems visibly relieved that their interaction is coming to an end. “Okay, great.”
Henry comes bounding down the stairs, yelling out, “Dad!” and launching himself at the man.
It sears her heart, but she swallows the feeling and forces herself to regain her composure. “Henry…”
“Oh, right!” Pulling himself away, he throws himself at her midsection instead. “Bye, Mom.”
She wraps her arms around him and runs a hand through his hair, pointedly avoiding looking at Neal. “Goodbye, sweetheart. When will I see you again?”
“How about lunch tomorrow?” Neal suggests, causing her to look up. When she does, he shrugs. “I mean… y’know, you kinda don’t seem to see him a lot.”
“Yes, well.” She flashes an unfriendly smile. “Seems he’s been a little busy with out-of-town guests.”
At least he has the decency to look guilty as he says, “Right. Well, I’d like for you to see him more. I know Emma would too.”
Her heart flutters at the name and she damns herself.
“Plus,” he continues, shrugging, “I was gonna take Emma out tonight. And if things go well, y’know…”
The implication is left dangling and Regina feels her cheeks burning. She wants to send him up in flames.
“Maybe we’ll want a break from the little guy tomorrow.”
She clenches her teeth a moment and thinks of all the spells she could conjure right now to resolve this issue. “Of course.”
Henry just smiles between the two of them, either too young to understand the silent implication or happily ignoring it as he exclaims, “Cool!”
Neal must sense then that he needs to vacate her property, because he claps Henry on the back. “Alright slugger, let’s hit the road.” Waving to Regina, he tells her, “We should do this again sometime,” and she has no idea if he’s being facetious or if he’s actually that stupid.
Either way, he’s a jackass and she hates him. She smiles through the vitriol rising inside. “Nice to meet you, Neal.”
It’s not genuine and he can tell. “Yeah, you too, Regina. Been a real treat.”
Then she watches them walk down the street together, and she waits until they’re out of earshot before she slams the door.
*****
She goes to Granny’s diner an hour later just to get out of the house. She’s still boiling with hate over her encounter with Gold’s idiot son and she needs to take out her frustration on something greasy and terrible for her.
She may be a queen, but she still enjoys a hamburger every now and then.
“Hey, Regina!” Ruby greets her as she enters, and it seems enough time has passed that she no longer receives death glares when she enters a Storybrooke establishment. Though aside from Ruby, she’s far from receiving a warm welcome.
She smiles, “Ruby,” and slides onto a barstool. She folds her hands on the counter and looks around at the other patrons, who have all gone back to their respective meals and conversations, before she feels a presence in front of her.
“Coffee?” Ruby asks.
She nods, adding, “And the biggest burger you’ve got.”
Ruby winks and points to her with a stubby little red pencil, telling her, “You got it,” before flouncing off to get her coffee.
In seconds, the bell above the door jingles, and in walks Emma. Regina’s stomach churns and her heart flutters all at once, and her encounter with Neal comes flooding back to her. Emma hasn’t spotted her, but as she walks past, Regina wastes no time reaching out to grab her by the upper arm, forcefully.
“Ow, hey!”
“Do you have a moment?” she asks, and all but flings the blonde onto the barstool beside hers.
Emma rubs her arm, complaining, “Jesus, Regina! Tense much?”
They’ve already gathered the attention of a few neighboring tables, but Regina pays them no mind as she leans in and hisses, “Do not ever send that derelict to pick up my son, ever again. Do you understand me?”
“He’s my son too,” Emma throws back at her, looking wounded. She still rubs her arm as she shrugs. “And I’m sorry, but I couldn’t get away from work! Some kids vandalized the water tower - David and I had to go take a look at it.”
“Then you could have picked up Henry when you were finished.” Her voice is still a low hiss and she’s over-enunciating every word as one is prone to do when they’re boiling with anger, but it doesn’t seem to faze Emma in the slightest.
“Regina, I don’t get what the big deal is. I couldn’t come over then to get him, so I sent Neal.” Shrugging again, she asks almost patronizingly, “Would you rather I send Mary Margaret next time?”
“Yes!”
At that, Emma’s eyes go wide. “Seriously?”
“Emma?” Ruby stops back with Regina’s coffee, setting it down by the saucer.
“Hey, Ruby,” Emma sighs. “Just here to grab that to-go order.”
The waitress nods. “Two Reubens - they’re all set to go!”
Regina glares at the blonde. “And I suppose the other one is for Neal?”
Emma rolls her eyes. “No, actually the other one is for David. We’re up to our eyeballs in paperwork thanks to those dumb kids, so we’re working through lunch.”
“Yes, well, best get everything done before your big date tonight,” she seethes. And she knows she sounds jealous and catty, but she can’t help it. Nor does she want to. Emma’s back to being the thorn in her side and needs to know it.
“My what?” At that, the savior looks genuinely confused.
Regina throws her a sideways glance before looking down at her cup of coffee, imagining for a split-second how gratifying it would be to throw it in Emma’s face. “Neal asked me to take Henry to lunch tomorrow, just in case your date goes well tonight and you two want some time alone.”
The blonde’s eyes grow about as wide as Regina’s cup. “He said what?!”
Several heads whip around to look at them, and Regina smiles to herself, hoping Emma is good and embarrassed. But she knows better. She knew it shortly after they met - the blonde has no shame.
It’s one of the things she’s always enjoyed about her.
She watches, then, as Emma grows angry. “I’m gonna kill him.”
Regina raises her eyebrows. “Not that I would mind you doing so, but why?”
“Because we’re not going on a date! Or at least,” she makes a face, “I didn’t think we were.”
She purses her lips, taking a sip of coffee. “Sounds like he thinks otherwise, dear.”
“I swear to you it’s not a date.”
The wording piques her interest, and Regina can’t help but look up, brows furrowed as she asks her quietly, “Why would you need to swear to me, Miss Swan?” She pointedly uses formality and hopes it hurts Emma as much as it hurts her.
Emma gives her a look - a sad little look - and Regina can’t help but think mission accomplished. “Because, I… I don’t know.”
Regina shrugs. “I don’t know, either.”
She watches as the most interesting expression takes over Emma’s face. Her eyes dart back and forth like she’s trying to figure something out. And whatever that something is, it’s clearly worrying her. Then she grips the counter top and forces herself up, saying distractedly, “I have to go.”
A crinkling of plastic signals Ruby’s return, and she hands over a bag containing two Styrofoam-encased lunches. “Here ya go!”
“Thanks.” She still looks both distracted and horrified as she looks up with vacant eyes and asks the waitress, “How much?”
Regina’s eyes bounce to Ruby, who’s regarding Emma with curiosity. “Uh… David took care of it.”
“Okay.” She turns then and heads for the door without as much as a goodbye to either of them.
When she’s gone, Ruby makes a face. “That was weird.”
Regina smiles to herself, quipping, “I’d say it’s par for the course with Emma.”
At that, the waitress smirks, and reaches for an overflowing plate handed to her by one of the cooks. She sets it down in front of Regina and says, “Your burger, Your Majesty.”
Regina looks up at her…
“Sorry,” she winces. “I was trying to be funny.”
Surprisingly, all the vitriol within her has seemingly left when Emma swept out the door. So she gives the girl a smile. “I didn’t take offense.”
“Good!” Then, she leans on the counter. “So, I couldn’t help overhearing…”
Regina rolls her eyes. “Of course you couldn’t.”
Ruby shrugs. “Hey, small place - what can ya do?” She looks around momentarily before turning her attention back to Regina. “Couldn’t help overhearing what you guys were bickering about a little bit.”
“Yes, and?”
“And, I was wondering if you maybe wanted to hit the Rabbit Hole with me tonight.”
“What?” She can’t help being taken aback. “Why?”
“You kinda seem like you could use a friend.”
Regina swallows. “Well, I-“
“Come on,” Ruby goads, a wide grin on her face. “We’ll do shots, it’ll be fun.”
*****
Against her better judgment, she accepts Ruby’s offer, and by eight-thirty she’s found herself in that dimly-lit dive. She strides up to the bar, her usual spot, and looks at the stool on her left sadly, remembering the times she spent with Emma beside her in that very seat.
“There you are!”
She looks up at hearing the voice, and Ruby comes toward her. She moves to sit on the stool on her left side and Regina feels herself tensing. Ruby, clearly noticing this, smiles and moves to sit on her right instead. She jerks her chin at the bartender and says, “Two shots of Jack,” and nods when he nods back.
Regina feels compelled to tell her, “You know, I really don’t know that I should do shots.”
She shrugs. “Just one won’t hurt.”
She watches as the girl takes the brimming shot glasses with a gleeful smile, sliding one over to her. “Here you go - knock it back quick and painless, like this!” She then demonstrates by tipping her head back, downing the entirety of the shot glass in one gulp.
It’s daunting, and Regina looks down at her own shot glass. “I don’t… know that I can,” she says with a nervous smile.
“Come on, Regina! Do it like a Band-Aid.”
She can’t even begin to comprehend that particular metaphor, but does her best to abide. She tips her head back and feels the shot burning its way down her esophagus. She coughs when she tips her head back down, pressing one hand to her chest while the other slams the shot glass down on the bar. “Happy now?” she coughs.
“Yeah!”
Then she can’t help but ask, “Why did you invite me here?”
Ruby shrugs and gives the same cryptic answer she gave at the diner. “You seemed like you could use a friend.” But she toys with her long, curled hair as she says this and, though Regina may not have the same lie-detector skills as Emma, she knows she’s lying.
“Oh please. Even if I did, why on Earth would you want to spend time with me?” Smirking, she leans in a bit and reminds her, “I’m the Evil Queen, remember?”
Ruby chuckles. “Yeah, and I’m the Big Bad Wolf.”
“Ruby…”
“Okay, okay.” She rolls her eyes. “Emma may have spilled the beans about you guys last week.”
Regina sighs, “Of course she did,” and signals the bartender for a glass of wine. “And I can only assume Mary Margaret was first in the call list?”
Ruby looks briefly offended and tells her, “I didn’t breathe a word of it to Mary Margaret.” Shrugging one shoulder, she adds, “Still haven’t.”
She finds that hard to believe, and it must show on her face, because Ruby assures her, “Really. I haven’t.”
“Why not?” She receives her glass of Merlot from the bartender and nods her gratitude, taking a sip.
“Well, because. I’m Emma’s friend too. And… if you’re not too opposed to it, I could be yours as well. Because trust me, I’ve been where you’ve been.”
“Really.” Skepticism drips from her tone, and she looks at the girl sarcastically through her lashes. “You’ve fallen for your best friend and things didn’t work out.”
Ruby nods. “Yep.”
“Under different circumstances, I presume.”
Another nod and another, “Yep,” followed by, “I accidentally ate him.”
At that, Regina nearly does a spit-take, choking around the sip of wine she’d been taking. “You what?”
“Yeah. I was a wolf at the time, and didn’t know that I could turn into a wolf, and… I ended up kinda…” She cringes. “Eating him.”
Regina has so many questions she needs to ask surrounding that particular confession. But then Ruby’s hand is on her knee as she reiterates, “So trust me - I know what it’s like to lose your best friend and the person you love, all at the same time.”
There are still so many questions. But they likely don’t have time. And anything she’d been about to ask promptly leaves her head when she sees the way Ruby looks up and over her shoulder toward the door, her face falling.
“Oh… shit.” She meets eyes with Regina. “I am so, so sorry. I had no idea.”
She furrows her brows. “No idea about what?” And she turns around.
There’s Emma and that mangy Neal, grabbing a table near the door - against the window. She spins away and faces the bar again. “Wonderful.”
“I didn’t know they’d show up here.”
“Well, tonight is their big date.” She can’t help it - any time she says the word, it just slides out sarcastically.
“I don’t get why…” Ruby trails off, watching the other two for a moment.
Regina waits patiently, hoping the sentence will be finished, and takes another look over her shoulder at Emma and Neal. Her eyes instantly meet Emma’s before the blonde darts them away, opening her menu. Regina’s chest feels heavy and she pushes herself up.
“I think it’s time for me to head home.”
“Regina…”
“No.” She waves away both the attempt to get her to stay, and the sympathy that Ruby’s voice carries. “Really, I… I appreciate what you did, asking me to spend time with you tonight.” Looking down, she picks at a chipped piece of polish on her thumb nail. “Not many others would be so brave.” Looking up then, she puts on a brave face and tries for a smile, feeling as though she’s failed at it miserably. “Thank you, Ruby. Goodnight.”
“Wait…”
She heads for the door, not daring to look at Emma any more, even though she can hear footsteps following. She’s just outside the door, listening to it click shut when it bursts open again. “Regina.”
She spins, looking at Ruby, who keeps coming toward her. She watches as the brunette throws a glance behind her at the small window in the brick wall. She follows her gaze for a moment and sees a flash of blonde as Emma turns her head away.
She looks back to Ruby, who takes a step forward. “Listen, I know you probably still don’t believe me, but I do want to be your friend.” Before Regina can protest, she goes on. “And yeah, I know you’ve got a past. So do I. So does everyone else in this goddamn town. But I’ve seen you try.”
Regina’s breath catches inaudibly, and she searches the girl’s large eyes. The look in them is sincere.
“I’ve seen you work hard to be a better person. Whether that’s for Emma or for Henry, I don’t know and I don’t care. What matters is that you’re trying. And maybe some people are never gonna forgive all the things that you’ve done, and I don’t think anybody’s ever going to forget it, but you know what?” She points to herself, jabbing a flame red fingernail against her chest. “I forgive you. I forgive you for what you did, Regina.”
Regina presses her lips together; she can feel them shaking and struggles to hang on to her composure. She blinks away the gray mist in her eyes and nods. “Thank you, Ruby.”
Then the brunette rushes at her - she wraps her in a hug and Regina has no idea what to do she’s so surprised.
“Can I tell you a secret?” Ruby whispers.
Tentatively, she places her hands on the girl’s back. “Sure.”
“I don’t think you’re going to be feeling sad over this Emma thing for long. I think she feels the same way about you.”
Pulling away, Regina stares at her in surprise. The girl simply smiles.
“And you don’t have to believe me. But I see a lot. I see the way she looks at you and talks to you. And last week I saw how lonely she was without you. If she doesn’t know what she feels already, she will soon. And trust me, Regina, she’s gonna come knocking on your door when she does.”
She exhales a smile, patting Ruby’s arms. “I appreciate the confidence, Ruby. I’m not so sure myself, but I appreciate it all the same.”
Ruby widens her eyes and says, “Oh trust me. Emma’s gonna come to her senses.”
They say goodnight then, and Regina turns to leave. Just before she reaches the street, Ruby calls out to her again.
“Hey Regina!”
She spins, meeting the girl’s wide, wolfish grin. “I might come and get you later and convince you to come back out here with me. I think you could really use another friend.”
Regina smiles. “I appreciate that,” she says, and gives Ruby a wave before she heads off down the street, not seeing the blue-green eyes that had been watching her the entire time.
**
When she gets home, she tries to come to terms with all that has gone on that day and it takes well over an hour. Meeting that Neanderthal of a biological father, then her terse exchange with Emma, followed by Ruby’s invitation. Part of her still can’t quite believe that someone in this town aside from Emma and Henry have forgiven her.
And though it’s not much, it’s certainly a start. Ruby may not exactly run the town, but she seems to have her fingers in several different circles. And though the inhabitants of Storybrooke may never fully forgive her, perhaps having another person in her corner could help to ease the tension.
She pours herself another glass of wine, this one for free, and heads into the study. She’s just thumbing through the stack of albums there when she hears a loud knock on her front door.
She smirks to herself, rolling her eyes and finishing the sip of wine she’d been about to take, setting the glass on her desk. “Ruby…” she calls, the click of her heels echoing in the foyer. “I appreciate the valiant effort on your part to get me to do more shots, but-“
She swings open the door and all words on her breath stop cold. On her doorstep isn’t the doe-eyed brunette looking to drag her out of her cocoon. “…Emma.”
Instead, it’s a head of blonde and two intense blue-green eyes that meet her on the other side. “We need to talk.”
TBC
{x-posted to onceupon_fanfic and regina_emma}