A Queen Without Power (Once Upon a Time; Regina/Emma)
TITLE: A Queen Without Power
CHAPTER 10: The Stars and the Trees
FANDOM: Once Upon a Time
PAIRING: Swan Queen (Regina/Emma)
SPOILERS: Season one (in its entirety)
RATING: PG
SUMMARY: "I don't think you're evil."
*****
Emma returned to the estate past dark, driving through the bubble and watching it shimmer for the briefest of moments before she parked the car and got out. Henry was the first face she saw when she entered; he was sitting at the bottom of the steps in his pajamas, fairytale book in his lap.
“You’re back,” he smiled.
“Yeah. How did everything go today?”
He shrugged. “She pretty much was in her office the whole day. I played in my room and looked through this,” he picked up a page of his book, “to gather intel for Operation Python.”
Emma smirked. “Find anything?”
“Not for the operation, but you mentioned the name ‘Daniel’ earlier, right?”
Her stomach somersaulted briefly. “Yeah...”
Henry smiled, turning the open book around and handing it off to her. “Then you might want to read this story. It’s called ‘The Stable Boy.’”
Emma frowned, taking the book from him and watching as he stood up. “Okay...”
“I’m gonna go to bed,” he told her then. “I’m pretty tired.”
She couldn’t help the chuckle. Normal kids would be trying every trick in the book to stay up late. But Henry had never been ‘normal.’ “Alright. Sleep well, kid.”
“Yup.”
Emma watched him head up the stairs until he disappeared into his bedroom, then she sat down on the stairs and began reading the story. It was a tale of a young girl named Regina, her powerful mother Cora, a witch, and her father. It was a typical fairytale: a protagonist wanting to carve her own path and get out from under the thumb of an overbearing parent. There was a stable boy named Daniel, and a young girl on a runaway horse.
Emma startled as images returned to her -- the flashes she’d experienced when she and Regina touched, while her magic was active. They had been Regina’s memories, which seemed to have been immortalized now in this book.
There was a secret, and an unintentional betrayal... one that led to the stable boy’s untimely demise. By the time Emma was finished reading the tale, her stomach was churning -- a mixture of nausea from envisioning what Regina had seen her mother do to her beloved, and an understanding that such a trauma could easily spark a turn toward darkness.
Emma closed the book, her heart thudding in her ears. It all finally made sense.
The sound of music jarred her from her thoughts briefly, a faint acoustic guitar reaching her from somewhere toward the back of the house. She rose to her feet and followed the sound, setting the book aside on the stairs. She threw a brief glance up at Henry’s closed bedroom door as she made her way toward the back of the house.
Chimney falls and lovers blaze, thought that I was young
The sound led Emma toward the back door, which opened on a sprawling patio. An old turntable was set up near to the door, a record spinning lazily.
Now I’ve freezing hands and bloodless veins, as numb as I’ve become
She stepped out onto the patio and looked around, spotting Regina off to one side, staring straight ahead as she rocked back and forth on a wooden bench swing.
I’m so tired, I wish I was the moon tonight
Emma made her way toward her, spotting the nearly-empty bottle of red wine and the half-full glass in Regina’s hand. She watched her draw it to her lips and take a long drink, eyes still unmoving from their focal point straight ahead. Her father’s words returned to her: ”Everyone deserves happiness. Even a creature as pitiful as Regina.”
Paired with what she’d just read, about Regina’s shattered chance at happiness, she felt fresh pangs of sympathy wash over her. Carefully she stepped around the swing, watching Regina for any hint of recognition before she sat down across from her.
The song continued on, gentle acoustic guitar and a female singer crooning, as Regina’s head turned. Her eyes swam into focus, and she spoke her name, almost as if trying to place her momentarily. “Emma.”
And Emma once again pushed away the involuntary shiver the sound of her name provoked, and attempted a friendly smile. “Hey.”
She understood so much now. Why Regina turned to dark magic, why she developed such a vendetta against Snow White, and why she sought to pull away everyone’s happiness. There was a part of her that still understood that Regina had taken things a bit too far, of course -- Snow had been just a little girl, and clearly had not known the consequences of divulging a secret -- but it did nothing to diminish the pangs of sympathy she felt for Regina in that moment. “I went to see them again,” she began, knowing Regina would infer the prince and princess.
She took another long drink of wine, holding Emma’s gaze. When the glass came away, Emma watched her press her lips together briefly, nodding slowly. “And I imagine your mother was all too willing to reveal who Daniel is.”
Emma shook her head. “I didn’t ask her.” Off Regina’s look of surprise, she tilted her head, once again attempting a friendly smile. “I’d like to wait to hear it from you.”
Regina raised her brows, “Well, then you’ll be waiting for quite some time,” and took another drink of wine.
Emma glanced down, not allowing herself to be discouraged. Regina always had played everything close to the vest. She looked up, nodding at the wine bottle. “Any more left for me?”
“Of course.”
“I’ll go get a glass,” she said, pushing herself up.
Regina shook her head. “No need,” she commented, and held up a second wine glass.
Emma frowned curiously as she watched her fill the second glass, wondering why she had brought it out with her. “Were you... waiting for me?”
Regina furrowed her brows. “No, of course not. What makes you say that?” She handed her the glass of wine.
Emma held it up briefly. “Then why--” Then, off of Regina’s look, she made a face and shook her head, “Nevermind, doesn’t matter,” and took a long drink.
Regina topped off her own glass with the rest of what was in the bottle and sat back again, rocking gently on the swing. This time, Emma went around to join her, sitting beside her. Regina threw her a look briefly but didn’t protest, instead turning to look straight ahead again.
After another sip, Emma commented, “Nice swing. Comfortable.”
“Mm.” Regina nodded, taking another sip. “I bought it shortly after Henry arrived. It ended up coming in handy.”
“Oh?” Emma angled herself toward Regina, bending one leg on the seat of the swing while the other remained on the ground, helping to keep them in motion.
Regina soon mirrored her position, the arm holding her wine glass braced against the back of the swing. She smiled, staring at the seat as she seemingly recalled a memory. “There were quite a few sleepless nights when Henry arrived. And sometimes, it felt too stuffy in the house when I was trying to comfort him. So I would bring him out here.”
Emma smiled, tilting her head as Regina continued.
“He would fall back asleep almost instantly. Like the fresh air was all he needed to calm down. I would barely make it through one lullaby before he was out again.”
“You would sing to him?”
“Mm-hmm.” She took another drink. “A song my father used to sing to me when I was a girl, about the stars and the trees. It was my favorite.” She chuckled.
“Even when he was four and five years old, he would sometimes have a difficult time getting to sleep. He would ask me to take him out here. So I had him lie down on the swing and would cover him with his blanket. And just like when he was a baby, I would get halfway through the lullaby and he’d be fast asleep. So I would scoop him up and bring him back up to his bed.”
“You were a good mother,” Emma commented, taking another sip of wine.
Regina raised her eyebrows ruefully. “I wish Henry could remember that.”
“I’m sure he does. He’s just--”
“Convinced that I’m evil?” She smirked.
Emma chuckled. “Maybe.” She watched Regina look down into her glass, soft smile fading, and she was powerless to stop her mouth from carrying on without her brain. “I don’t think you’re evil.”
Regina glanced over at her, surprise in her expression. “You don’t?”
She shook her head. “Not really. Difficult and bitchy, yes,” she smirked, “But not evil.”
“Well... others would beg to differ.” Tilting her head, she raised her brows and commented down into her glass, “I’ve done some pretty terrible things.”
“I’m sure you have.” She swirled the wine glass in her hand, watching the dark liquid come close to splashing up over the sides before going back down again. “But to me, the difference is tied to emotion. Remorse. Do you feel remorse over the things you’ve done?”
She watched as Regina gave that some thought. She took another sip of wine, then a deep breath, and looked over at her. “I never used to.”
“But you do now?”
“I don’t know... maybe.” Regina’s brow creased, eyes cut to the side in thought. When she spoke, it was slow... uncertain. “I feel... different about it than I used to.” She met her eyes. “To be quite honest, I used to feel happy about it. Pleased, even. And now, almost losing Henry...” She shook her head. “I don’t know how I feel about all of it. Ambivalent, I guess.”
Emma quirked a brow, nodding slowly. “Step in the right direction, at least,” she offered.
At that, Regina made a face, a bit of ice lacing her tone as she asked, “Why do you care what direction I go?”
That tripped her up momentarily. Such an easy question and yet... Emma had no easy answer. Why did she care? Was her father correct? Did she see a flicker of something in Regina that hinted at a possible turnaround? And after everything she had done, why would that matter?
After a few attempts at speech, which inevitably failed, and she ended up opening and closing her mouth silently a few times, she finally answered, “...I don’t know. I just do for some reason.” She studied Regina closely, watching her absorb that answer, before she posed a question of her own. “Do you want me to care?”
The two women met eyes. Regina’s searched hers back and forth. The wine glass was set aside, and her hands folded primly in her lap. Emma watched as her lips pursed in thought. She opened her mouth to reply and then seemed to confuse herself. Her mouth closed again. Finally, she sat back against the swing heavily, sending it rocking, as she glanced over at her again. “...I don’t know.”
And so there they sat, a bit of awkward tension settling around them, as each seemingly wondered whether or not they should care about the other’s fate. Emma finished off her wine, wishing it were something stronger, while Regina got to her feet.
“I think I’m going to go to bed.”
She gathered up the glasses and the empty wine bottle, taking them inside. A few seconds later, the record had stopped and the nighttime air was left with just the music of the crickets. Emma stayed behind a moment longer, glancing at Regina’s path of retreat before staring straight ahead again. Something had shifted between them again.
After a few minutes had passed, Emma went inside, locking the patio door behind her. Most of the lights were off in the estate as she went upstairs, and she turned off the hall light before peering into Henry’s bedroom. He was sound asleep, and she pulled his door halfway closed again before continuing to the master bedroom.
Upon stepping inside, she spotted Regina, fluffing the pillows on her side and turning to look at her. They watched one another almost cautiously. Regina pulled back the covers and got in on her side, turning out her bedside light, while Emma went around to the other side.
Slowly, she stripped down to her underwear and tank top, watching Regina’s back as she laid on her side facing the door. Then, she slipped in on the opposite side of the bed, still watching her counterpart furtively and saying quietly, “Goodnight, Regina.”
“Goodnight, Emma.”
She turned out the remaining light and faced the window on her side, hand pillowed under her head while she frowned to herself.
And both women laid awake, deep in thought for several moments more, neither noticing that they scooted a little closer together before drifting off to sleep.
TBC
{x-posted to onceupon_fanfic and regina_emma}
CHAPTER 10: The Stars and the Trees
FANDOM: Once Upon a Time
PAIRING: Swan Queen (Regina/Emma)
SPOILERS: Season one (in its entirety)
RATING: PG
SUMMARY: "I don't think you're evil."
*****
Emma returned to the estate past dark, driving through the bubble and watching it shimmer for the briefest of moments before she parked the car and got out. Henry was the first face she saw when she entered; he was sitting at the bottom of the steps in his pajamas, fairytale book in his lap.
“You’re back,” he smiled.
“Yeah. How did everything go today?”
He shrugged. “She pretty much was in her office the whole day. I played in my room and looked through this,” he picked up a page of his book, “to gather intel for Operation Python.”
Emma smirked. “Find anything?”
“Not for the operation, but you mentioned the name ‘Daniel’ earlier, right?”
Her stomach somersaulted briefly. “Yeah...”
Henry smiled, turning the open book around and handing it off to her. “Then you might want to read this story. It’s called ‘The Stable Boy.’”
Emma frowned, taking the book from him and watching as he stood up. “Okay...”
“I’m gonna go to bed,” he told her then. “I’m pretty tired.”
She couldn’t help the chuckle. Normal kids would be trying every trick in the book to stay up late. But Henry had never been ‘normal.’ “Alright. Sleep well, kid.”
“Yup.”
Emma watched him head up the stairs until he disappeared into his bedroom, then she sat down on the stairs and began reading the story. It was a tale of a young girl named Regina, her powerful mother Cora, a witch, and her father. It was a typical fairytale: a protagonist wanting to carve her own path and get out from under the thumb of an overbearing parent. There was a stable boy named Daniel, and a young girl on a runaway horse.
Emma startled as images returned to her -- the flashes she’d experienced when she and Regina touched, while her magic was active. They had been Regina’s memories, which seemed to have been immortalized now in this book.
There was a secret, and an unintentional betrayal... one that led to the stable boy’s untimely demise. By the time Emma was finished reading the tale, her stomach was churning -- a mixture of nausea from envisioning what Regina had seen her mother do to her beloved, and an understanding that such a trauma could easily spark a turn toward darkness.
Emma closed the book, her heart thudding in her ears. It all finally made sense.
The sound of music jarred her from her thoughts briefly, a faint acoustic guitar reaching her from somewhere toward the back of the house. She rose to her feet and followed the sound, setting the book aside on the stairs. She threw a brief glance up at Henry’s closed bedroom door as she made her way toward the back of the house.
Chimney falls and lovers blaze, thought that I was young
The sound led Emma toward the back door, which opened on a sprawling patio. An old turntable was set up near to the door, a record spinning lazily.
Now I’ve freezing hands and bloodless veins, as numb as I’ve become
She stepped out onto the patio and looked around, spotting Regina off to one side, staring straight ahead as she rocked back and forth on a wooden bench swing.
I’m so tired, I wish I was the moon tonight
Emma made her way toward her, spotting the nearly-empty bottle of red wine and the half-full glass in Regina’s hand. She watched her draw it to her lips and take a long drink, eyes still unmoving from their focal point straight ahead. Her father’s words returned to her: ”Everyone deserves happiness. Even a creature as pitiful as Regina.”
Paired with what she’d just read, about Regina’s shattered chance at happiness, she felt fresh pangs of sympathy wash over her. Carefully she stepped around the swing, watching Regina for any hint of recognition before she sat down across from her.
The song continued on, gentle acoustic guitar and a female singer crooning, as Regina’s head turned. Her eyes swam into focus, and she spoke her name, almost as if trying to place her momentarily. “Emma.”
And Emma once again pushed away the involuntary shiver the sound of her name provoked, and attempted a friendly smile. “Hey.”
She understood so much now. Why Regina turned to dark magic, why she developed such a vendetta against Snow White, and why she sought to pull away everyone’s happiness. There was a part of her that still understood that Regina had taken things a bit too far, of course -- Snow had been just a little girl, and clearly had not known the consequences of divulging a secret -- but it did nothing to diminish the pangs of sympathy she felt for Regina in that moment. “I went to see them again,” she began, knowing Regina would infer the prince and princess.
She took another long drink of wine, holding Emma’s gaze. When the glass came away, Emma watched her press her lips together briefly, nodding slowly. “And I imagine your mother was all too willing to reveal who Daniel is.”
Emma shook her head. “I didn’t ask her.” Off Regina’s look of surprise, she tilted her head, once again attempting a friendly smile. “I’d like to wait to hear it from you.”
Regina raised her brows, “Well, then you’ll be waiting for quite some time,” and took another drink of wine.
Emma glanced down, not allowing herself to be discouraged. Regina always had played everything close to the vest. She looked up, nodding at the wine bottle. “Any more left for me?”
“Of course.”
“I’ll go get a glass,” she said, pushing herself up.
Regina shook her head. “No need,” she commented, and held up a second wine glass.
Emma frowned curiously as she watched her fill the second glass, wondering why she had brought it out with her. “Were you... waiting for me?”
Regina furrowed her brows. “No, of course not. What makes you say that?” She handed her the glass of wine.
Emma held it up briefly. “Then why--” Then, off of Regina’s look, she made a face and shook her head, “Nevermind, doesn’t matter,” and took a long drink.
Regina topped off her own glass with the rest of what was in the bottle and sat back again, rocking gently on the swing. This time, Emma went around to join her, sitting beside her. Regina threw her a look briefly but didn’t protest, instead turning to look straight ahead again.
After another sip, Emma commented, “Nice swing. Comfortable.”
“Mm.” Regina nodded, taking another sip. “I bought it shortly after Henry arrived. It ended up coming in handy.”
“Oh?” Emma angled herself toward Regina, bending one leg on the seat of the swing while the other remained on the ground, helping to keep them in motion.
Regina soon mirrored her position, the arm holding her wine glass braced against the back of the swing. She smiled, staring at the seat as she seemingly recalled a memory. “There were quite a few sleepless nights when Henry arrived. And sometimes, it felt too stuffy in the house when I was trying to comfort him. So I would bring him out here.”
Emma smiled, tilting her head as Regina continued.
“He would fall back asleep almost instantly. Like the fresh air was all he needed to calm down. I would barely make it through one lullaby before he was out again.”
“You would sing to him?”
“Mm-hmm.” She took another drink. “A song my father used to sing to me when I was a girl, about the stars and the trees. It was my favorite.” She chuckled.
“Even when he was four and five years old, he would sometimes have a difficult time getting to sleep. He would ask me to take him out here. So I had him lie down on the swing and would cover him with his blanket. And just like when he was a baby, I would get halfway through the lullaby and he’d be fast asleep. So I would scoop him up and bring him back up to his bed.”
“You were a good mother,” Emma commented, taking another sip of wine.
Regina raised her eyebrows ruefully. “I wish Henry could remember that.”
“I’m sure he does. He’s just--”
“Convinced that I’m evil?” She smirked.
Emma chuckled. “Maybe.” She watched Regina look down into her glass, soft smile fading, and she was powerless to stop her mouth from carrying on without her brain. “I don’t think you’re evil.”
Regina glanced over at her, surprise in her expression. “You don’t?”
She shook her head. “Not really. Difficult and bitchy, yes,” she smirked, “But not evil.”
“Well... others would beg to differ.” Tilting her head, she raised her brows and commented down into her glass, “I’ve done some pretty terrible things.”
“I’m sure you have.” She swirled the wine glass in her hand, watching the dark liquid come close to splashing up over the sides before going back down again. “But to me, the difference is tied to emotion. Remorse. Do you feel remorse over the things you’ve done?”
She watched as Regina gave that some thought. She took another sip of wine, then a deep breath, and looked over at her. “I never used to.”
“But you do now?”
“I don’t know... maybe.” Regina’s brow creased, eyes cut to the side in thought. When she spoke, it was slow... uncertain. “I feel... different about it than I used to.” She met her eyes. “To be quite honest, I used to feel happy about it. Pleased, even. And now, almost losing Henry...” She shook her head. “I don’t know how I feel about all of it. Ambivalent, I guess.”
Emma quirked a brow, nodding slowly. “Step in the right direction, at least,” she offered.
At that, Regina made a face, a bit of ice lacing her tone as she asked, “Why do you care what direction I go?”
That tripped her up momentarily. Such an easy question and yet... Emma had no easy answer. Why did she care? Was her father correct? Did she see a flicker of something in Regina that hinted at a possible turnaround? And after everything she had done, why would that matter?
After a few attempts at speech, which inevitably failed, and she ended up opening and closing her mouth silently a few times, she finally answered, “...I don’t know. I just do for some reason.” She studied Regina closely, watching her absorb that answer, before she posed a question of her own. “Do you want me to care?”
The two women met eyes. Regina’s searched hers back and forth. The wine glass was set aside, and her hands folded primly in her lap. Emma watched as her lips pursed in thought. She opened her mouth to reply and then seemed to confuse herself. Her mouth closed again. Finally, she sat back against the swing heavily, sending it rocking, as she glanced over at her again. “...I don’t know.”
And so there they sat, a bit of awkward tension settling around them, as each seemingly wondered whether or not they should care about the other’s fate. Emma finished off her wine, wishing it were something stronger, while Regina got to her feet.
“I think I’m going to go to bed.”
She gathered up the glasses and the empty wine bottle, taking them inside. A few seconds later, the record had stopped and the nighttime air was left with just the music of the crickets. Emma stayed behind a moment longer, glancing at Regina’s path of retreat before staring straight ahead again. Something had shifted between them again.
After a few minutes had passed, Emma went inside, locking the patio door behind her. Most of the lights were off in the estate as she went upstairs, and she turned off the hall light before peering into Henry’s bedroom. He was sound asleep, and she pulled his door halfway closed again before continuing to the master bedroom.
Upon stepping inside, she spotted Regina, fluffing the pillows on her side and turning to look at her. They watched one another almost cautiously. Regina pulled back the covers and got in on her side, turning out her bedside light, while Emma went around to the other side.
Slowly, she stripped down to her underwear and tank top, watching Regina’s back as she laid on her side facing the door. Then, she slipped in on the opposite side of the bed, still watching her counterpart furtively and saying quietly, “Goodnight, Regina.”
“Goodnight, Emma.”
She turned out the remaining light and faced the window on her side, hand pillowed under her head while she frowned to herself.
And both women laid awake, deep in thought for several moments more, neither noticing that they scooted a little closer together before drifting off to sleep.
TBC
{x-posted to onceupon_fanfic and regina_emma}