Forty-Something Years In The Making
Recent arrival in wooferWorld, grown_up_girl got up close and personal to ask:
Where and how did you meet Matthew and did you know instantly he was the one?
As you may have read earlier, when i returned to St. Louis back in April of 2001, i started hanging out at JJs. i was still on "terminal leave" until the end of June, so there was no rush to get a 'job' or anything. i was just getting my barings and trying to decide on a neighborhood to get an apartment in. i had already made plans to go to San Antonio in mid-May for the last Dept. of Defense MWD Competition with my guys and then out to SF to see Dadbear. Since my afternoons were free, i would go to JJs not long after they opened at about 4 or 5 in the afternoon. It was either that or hang out at my brother's house. What would YOU do?
FRIDAY 13 JULY 2001 - A RE-ENACTMENT
Back in those days, JJs was really just getting started...they wouldn't have their first anniversary until the end of June of that year, right around Pride, and the Clubhouse had yet to open. On Tuesdays and Fridays, they had what was known as "Art Class", the regular Happy Hour bunch. There were about 10 or so core member who would always be there and another 15 or more that were "occassional" and who drift in and out of the group. It was called "Art Class" because the Happy Hour bartender was Art Kelley, a very woofy daddybear with fabulous silver fur and a thick, but well-kept, beard. They used the name so they could talk about it at work, as in: "You going to art class this week?" or "i'll meet you at art class." Two future LJ-ers in attendance (on a shockingly regular basis) were themonkeybear and kiwi59.
The guys seemed to be really nice and always looked like they were having a good time. i was...quiet. After 22 years of paranoia, my immergance from the shadows wasn't going to happen overnight. They weren't pushy, either, instead they were all really nice. Art Class wasn't about trying to score...you did that after dark and on Friday or Saturday night. Rather, it was all about friends getting together, having fun, telling jokes and pulling pranks on each other, laughing, smiling, fighting and, of course, drinking and strangers were not admitted to the circle without being properly vetted.
As i recall, i don't believe i saw Matthew that first week or so. i do, however, recall coming in one afternoon and, after my eyes adjusted from the harsh sunlight of a summer afternoon to the cool, dark, embracing light of the bar that i saw this man. Damn he was cute. Actually, he reminded me a lot of Dadbear just without the beard. They were shaped pretty much the same...short and round and oh-so-woofy. He had a great laugh, a sweet smile, twinkling eyes and a cute habit of kicking his little leg out to the left when he laughed.
And he wouldn't give me the time of day.
One thing you have to realize, i wasn't looking for a husbear. i wasn't looking for a boyfriend, even. All i wanted was to get laid and get kinky!!! i just got out of a six-year relationship with a total vanilla control freak and i was ready to bust loose!! The kids i'd meet around the bar said, "what? you don't have a boyfriend? Well, we need to fix you up!" No thank you. i was ready to get a t-shirt that said "Not in a relationship...don't wanna be...LET'S FUCK!"
Gradually, the group started to let me in more and talk to me more. It was mostly friendly talk. Damn, though, i wanted into this man's pants, but i couldn't get BOO out of him on that front. i was too shy to ask, too.
Come mid-May, i took off in my VW Corrado to Texas (we did OK, but not as well as hoped) and then to California to see Dadbear. The story of that visit is a long one too. i was only supposed to stay a week. He locked a chain collar on me. i asked to stay another week. Sure. Another week...sure. If He had asked me to stay for good, i would have. At the end of a month, He sent me back home. He was also getting out of a bad relationship and wasn't sure He wanted to get into another or could get used to having someone doing stuff for Him. Besides, school would be starting soon and i needed to be settled in by then. So, with tears in my eyes, i set off east over the Sierra Madres.
Back in St. Louis, everybody welcomed me back and asked where the hell i'd been. Matthew had started talking to me more by then since i was seeking his advice on apartments and such. Somewhere in there, he gave me my now ubiquitous nickname because i said "WOOF"...a LOT!! (And not for the obvious reasons either...that's a question in and of itself if someone decides to ask it). He came along while i got my Lafayette Square apartment in late June of that year. He clued me into the job opening at the record store.
At the end of June, i went to Pride with someone else (an old friend of Matthew's ... who wasn't? ... Ralph from Springfield, IL).
On the 4th of July, the Corbett-West's (themonkeybear and his husband ... Chad was still Matthew's roommate at the time) were having their annual BBQ soiree' and Matt said he'd meet me there. It was a fun picnic...all the bears were there. i spent a good part of the time sitting on the ground at Matthew's feet. my cockring fell off and banged to the hardwood floor of their dining room at just the precise moment that everyone quit talking. 'natch! We all laughed. We had a great afternoon. He went home...i stayed for the fireworks.
As i had mentioned earlier, JJ's at the time, was just the front bar. The Clubhouse opened on Pride Saturday for the first time, but wouldn't open on a regular basis until the fall of that year. They only needed a barback on Friday and Saturday nights since the other nights were at a point where the bartender could take care of everything. The original barback since they opened, future LJ-er redhochipe, had wanted some time off and Matthew could use the money (and had LOTS of previous bar experience, as i would later discover) so he was filling in.
On Friday night, 13 July 2001, i was sitting at the bar. Matthew was 'backing and was in front of me washing some glasses. "I think you and me should go out sometime; what do you think?"
i followed him home that night. We cuddled up in bed. We went to sleep.
We started hanging out more and more. As he would find out stuff about me, he would actually say "do you really???"...i even asked him if he was keeping some kind of list on me or something!! That Army/cop paranoia kicking in again. i guess i was doing OK; he was still letting me hang around. My big negative: i was a smoker. A pack-and-a-half of Marlboro Reds a day since i was 17. Matthew hated smokers. Daddy didn't like smoking either and i had really cut down on smoking while i was out visiting Him. It didn't last. i tried quitting a couple times that summer...the longest i got was 10 days. His roommate, Chad, was a smoker too, but he wasn't sleeping in Matts bed on a more-than-regular basis. Actually, by this time, he was spending the majority of his time at Jim & Kevin (the Corbett-Wests). Matthew kept trying to get me to go see this hypnotherapist that he was seeing to lose weight. Well, it didnt' seem to be doing him any good, so why should i go to "the voodoo lady".
Unbeknownst to anyone, lest it didn't work, at 11:45am on Friday 12 DEC 2001, i was sitting in my car in the parking lot of the voodoo lady's office smoking what was to be my last cigarette. A week or so later, i was over at Matthew's."Are you OK?"
"Yeah, why?"
"Do you need to go outside? You haven't taken Coco out lately."
"No, i'm fine, thanks."
"You went to the voodoo lady..."
"Merry Christmas"
We hung out more and more. i was still in denial that we were in a relationship. i was free to do what i wanted. Wednesdays were my night to go out by myself. i usually ended up crawling into his bed. "What are you doing here?" "i'll leave if you want..." He put his arm around me and pulled me close.
May of 2002. Bear Pride, Chicago. Bear Showtunes at Sidetracks.
"i want to tell you something before i get drunk so you'll know i'm serious.(aren't these Grape Kettle One slush puppies GOOD??)"
"You DO, huh? OK, what?"
"i want to be your husbear."
"Don't fuck around with me, woofer...you know how serious this is to me..."
"i'm serious! That's why i'm saying it now and not later. i love you"
"i love you too, woofer. i don't want to lose you."
i'm sure there were tears. There are always tears.
...at which time i disappeared into the end of a conga line...i can't resist a conga line.
Well???
i came back.
Questions, questions...everybody's got questions. i think instead of "Ask Anything Month", March should be "Total Disclosure Month". Probably learning more than you wanted to know, but it's like a car wreck...you just can't turn away. More to come.
Where and how did you meet Matthew and did you know instantly he was the one?
As you may have read earlier, when i returned to St. Louis back in April of 2001, i started hanging out at JJs. i was still on "terminal leave" until the end of June, so there was no rush to get a 'job' or anything. i was just getting my barings and trying to decide on a neighborhood to get an apartment in. i had already made plans to go to San Antonio in mid-May for the last Dept. of Defense MWD Competition with my guys and then out to SF to see Dadbear. Since my afternoons were free, i would go to JJs not long after they opened at about 4 or 5 in the afternoon. It was either that or hang out at my brother's house. What would YOU do?
FRIDAY 13 JULY 2001 - A RE-ENACTMENT
Back in those days, JJs was really just getting started...they wouldn't have their first anniversary until the end of June of that year, right around Pride, and the Clubhouse had yet to open. On Tuesdays and Fridays, they had what was known as "Art Class", the regular Happy Hour bunch. There were about 10 or so core member who would always be there and another 15 or more that were "occassional" and who drift in and out of the group. It was called "Art Class" because the Happy Hour bartender was Art Kelley, a very woofy daddybear with fabulous silver fur and a thick, but well-kept, beard. They used the name so they could talk about it at work, as in: "You going to art class this week?" or "i'll meet you at art class." Two future LJ-ers in attendance (on a shockingly regular basis) were themonkeybear and kiwi59.
The guys seemed to be really nice and always looked like they were having a good time. i was...quiet. After 22 years of paranoia, my immergance from the shadows wasn't going to happen overnight. They weren't pushy, either, instead they were all really nice. Art Class wasn't about trying to score...you did that after dark and on Friday or Saturday night. Rather, it was all about friends getting together, having fun, telling jokes and pulling pranks on each other, laughing, smiling, fighting and, of course, drinking and strangers were not admitted to the circle without being properly vetted.
As i recall, i don't believe i saw Matthew that first week or so. i do, however, recall coming in one afternoon and, after my eyes adjusted from the harsh sunlight of a summer afternoon to the cool, dark, embracing light of the bar that i saw this man. Damn he was cute. Actually, he reminded me a lot of Dadbear just without the beard. They were shaped pretty much the same...short and round and oh-so-woofy. He had a great laugh, a sweet smile, twinkling eyes and a cute habit of kicking his little leg out to the left when he laughed.
And he wouldn't give me the time of day.
One thing you have to realize, i wasn't looking for a husbear. i wasn't looking for a boyfriend, even. All i wanted was to get laid and get kinky!!! i just got out of a six-year relationship with a total vanilla control freak and i was ready to bust loose!! The kids i'd meet around the bar said, "what? you don't have a boyfriend? Well, we need to fix you up!" No thank you. i was ready to get a t-shirt that said "Not in a relationship...don't wanna be...LET'S FUCK!"
Gradually, the group started to let me in more and talk to me more. It was mostly friendly talk. Damn, though, i wanted into this man's pants, but i couldn't get BOO out of him on that front. i was too shy to ask, too.
Come mid-May, i took off in my VW Corrado to Texas (we did OK, but not as well as hoped) and then to California to see Dadbear. The story of that visit is a long one too. i was only supposed to stay a week. He locked a chain collar on me. i asked to stay another week. Sure. Another week...sure. If He had asked me to stay for good, i would have. At the end of a month, He sent me back home. He was also getting out of a bad relationship and wasn't sure He wanted to get into another or could get used to having someone doing stuff for Him. Besides, school would be starting soon and i needed to be settled in by then. So, with tears in my eyes, i set off east over the Sierra Madres.
Back in St. Louis, everybody welcomed me back and asked where the hell i'd been. Matthew had started talking to me more by then since i was seeking his advice on apartments and such. Somewhere in there, he gave me my now ubiquitous nickname because i said "WOOF"...a LOT!! (And not for the obvious reasons either...that's a question in and of itself if someone decides to ask it). He came along while i got my Lafayette Square apartment in late June of that year. He clued me into the job opening at the record store.
At the end of June, i went to Pride with someone else (an old friend of Matthew's ... who wasn't? ... Ralph from Springfield, IL).
On the 4th of July, the Corbett-West's (themonkeybear and his husband ... Chad was still Matthew's roommate at the time) were having their annual BBQ soiree' and Matt said he'd meet me there. It was a fun picnic...all the bears were there. i spent a good part of the time sitting on the ground at Matthew's feet. my cockring fell off and banged to the hardwood floor of their dining room at just the precise moment that everyone quit talking. 'natch! We all laughed. We had a great afternoon. He went home...i stayed for the fireworks.
As i had mentioned earlier, JJ's at the time, was just the front bar. The Clubhouse opened on Pride Saturday for the first time, but wouldn't open on a regular basis until the fall of that year. They only needed a barback on Friday and Saturday nights since the other nights were at a point where the bartender could take care of everything. The original barback since they opened, future LJ-er redhochipe, had wanted some time off and Matthew could use the money (and had LOTS of previous bar experience, as i would later discover) so he was filling in.
On Friday night, 13 July 2001, i was sitting at the bar. Matthew was 'backing and was in front of me washing some glasses. "I think you and me should go out sometime; what do you think?"
i followed him home that night. We cuddled up in bed. We went to sleep.
We started hanging out more and more. As he would find out stuff about me, he would actually say "do you really???"...i even asked him if he was keeping some kind of list on me or something!! That Army/cop paranoia kicking in again. i guess i was doing OK; he was still letting me hang around. My big negative: i was a smoker. A pack-and-a-half of Marlboro Reds a day since i was 17. Matthew hated smokers. Daddy didn't like smoking either and i had really cut down on smoking while i was out visiting Him. It didn't last. i tried quitting a couple times that summer...the longest i got was 10 days. His roommate, Chad, was a smoker too, but he wasn't sleeping in Matts bed on a more-than-regular basis. Actually, by this time, he was spending the majority of his time at Jim & Kevin (the Corbett-Wests). Matthew kept trying to get me to go see this hypnotherapist that he was seeing to lose weight. Well, it didnt' seem to be doing him any good, so why should i go to "the voodoo lady".
Unbeknownst to anyone, lest it didn't work, at 11:45am on Friday 12 DEC 2001, i was sitting in my car in the parking lot of the voodoo lady's office smoking what was to be my last cigarette. A week or so later, i was over at Matthew's."Are you OK?"
"Yeah, why?"
"Do you need to go outside? You haven't taken Coco out lately."
"No, i'm fine, thanks."
"You went to the voodoo lady..."
"Merry Christmas"
We hung out more and more. i was still in denial that we were in a relationship. i was free to do what i wanted. Wednesdays were my night to go out by myself. i usually ended up crawling into his bed. "What are you doing here?" "i'll leave if you want..." He put his arm around me and pulled me close.
May of 2002. Bear Pride, Chicago. Bear Showtunes at Sidetracks.
"i want to tell you something before i get drunk so you'll know i'm serious.(aren't these Grape Kettle One slush puppies GOOD??)"
"You DO, huh? OK, what?"
"i want to be your husbear."
"Don't fuck around with me, woofer...you know how serious this is to me..."
"i'm serious! That's why i'm saying it now and not later. i love you"
"i love you too, woofer. i don't want to lose you."
i'm sure there were tears. There are always tears.
...at which time i disappeared into the end of a conga line...i can't resist a conga line.
Well???
i came back.
Questions, questions...everybody's got questions. i think instead of "Ask Anything Month", March should be "Total Disclosure Month". Probably learning more than you wanted to know, but it's like a car wreck...you just can't turn away. More to come.