(Criminal Minds) - How Soon Is Now? - Chapter Ten (Part One)
Chapter Ten
A Month Later
‘’You got any kids?’’
Even though her voice was weak, cracked with exhaustion and pain, it rang through the small space, echoing slightly off of the walls. Emily blinked, trying to focus as she was posed the question. There had been a long silent gap in talking, and she thought that the woman in her arms, Detective Isabelle Rayne, had fallen asleep.
‘’Not of my own, no. But my girlfriend does.’’
The pool of water they were sat in stirred as Isabelle coughed, sending another waves of echoes around them as her body shook against Emily’s. The profiler automatically increased her grip around the other woman, supporting her the best that she could. She herself was slumped with her back against the cold stone, sitting in the cold water that reached her waist.
The Detective was strewn partly over her, given her inability to sit up, and Emily had wrapped her arms around her, hoping to provide maybe a little warmth for them both, or some sort of comfort for the severely injured younger woman.
‘’Girlfriend huh? What’s she like?’’
Isabelle wondered after her short coughing fit, something that was becoming more and more regular as she found it harder to breathe the more time went by. She felt weaker than she had ever been in her life. She felt broken. Things were becoming distant. She wasn’t a stupid woman, she knew the deal.
‘’You already met her.’’
Emily replied, knowing that the Hispanic Detective would understand her meaning immediately. And she did, from the weak chuckle that reached her ears.
‘’Ah, I see. That sassy little Agent Jareau. I like her, she’s ballsy. I don’t think anyone ever has yelled at our Captain and lived!’’
Isabelle grinned at the memory of the skinny blonde chick looking madder than hell, hands on hips, glaring murderously at the Captain, who had to be head and shoulders taller than her and built like a shit brick house. But she went ahead and chewed his ass out anyway, and he’d actually looked a little scared too! The whole unit had practically stopped to watch, not even bothering to pretend to do some work, it was just too good an opportunity to pass up seeing.
‘’Yeah well, that’s definitely JJ for you.’’
Emily smirked too, also recalling the incident at the station they had been working out of. She certainly hadn’t wasted any time in putting the man in his place after she had gone against the teams and her instructions, leading the press to get hold of something they shouldn’t have and the set up they had all been putting together to fall through. In all honesty, when Emily had thought about it later, she’d found it rather hot. JJ was breathtaking when she was angry, if not a little frightening.
The silence started to drift again, and the profiler let the thoughts move in and out of her mind. Of the past month, of what they were supposed to be doing now. It was Saturday, and she had had every intention of taking Amelia up to the stables so that she could see Wicket, perhaps get her up on him. He was a steady horse, he knew when he needed to be on his best behaviour, and he’d look after the little girl. Emily knew she couldn’t put her on him alone, she was too little. She could ride on him with her though.
There was a pang of loss in her stomach that they weren’t doing that right now. And she realised that this is what JJ must have felt, on a more intense level of course, every time that they were called away. She realised that every time JJ had stared out of the jet’s windows, or just been lost in thought for long moments sometimes, she was thinking about her daughter and what they could be doing. It wasn’t an especially nice feeling at all. Particularly given the current predicament that they found themselves in right now.
It had been just over a month since Emily had been introduced to Amelia on that Sunday, though it seemed like longer. And the more time they spent together, the more comfortable they were both getting with one another. Amelia no longer endeavoured to question her on her intentions with her Mother, and instead seemed to have accepted rather well that she was a factor in their lives that wasn’t going away. She was no longer too shy around her. Though, Emily and JJ had still been weary of the sleeping arrangements. JJ had promised Amelia that until she really got to know Emily, she wouldn’t be staying over, and Emily completely agreed with that.
That said, it was getting harder for them to separate, say goodbye at the end of the night. JJ had stayed over at her place, of course, when Archer had Amelia or when Lauren told them to go out and let off some steam, and Emily had stayed at the house when Amelia wasn’t there. Making sure they had time together as a couple was essential too, they both knew that. But it was still getting harder, JJ had mentioned though, before they had been called out on this case, that she thought it was time to move forward.
‘’Amelia, don’t go too far honey.’’
‘’Sure Mommy…’’
JJ rolled her eyes and smirked in amusement, shaking her head a little at her daughter’s response that simply stated that she had heard her. It didn’t mean however, that she was going to pay any attention at all to the instruction. Typical.
The park was quiet, though not empty, given that it was the afternoon. The sun still shone down though, keeping the air warm and enjoyable. It had been one of those days, where JJ had had a thousand and one things to do, and precious little time to do it in, especially given that she’d had two meetings that had over run. Oh how special they had been. So when Emily had leaned into her office to declare that she was finished for the day, the blonde had asked her if she wanted to go with her to the park to meet and relieve Amelia’s day care sitter.
So now they were strolling casually down the path through the park, hand in hand, with Amelia peddling for all she was worth in front of them on her bike. A little pink bike, with blue swirly patterns on it and little stabilizers to keep it upright. She had her hair in pigtails, which Emily always found especially cute, with her cartoon helmet on top of her head. It was rather adorable.
‘’I heard that Strauss gave you a grilling over the press leak last week.’’
Emily glanced discretely at JJ, who shrugged ever so lightly and nodded as she focused on the path beneath her feet for a moment.
‘’Yeah, she did.’’
‘’You okay?’’
JJ looked up, looking at Emily as she nodded. She had that look in her eyes, that determined and strong look that Emily had seen more times that she could remember. Sure, she was a little pissed and also a little wounded that she’d gotten the ass chewing, but that look told her that she could take it.
‘’I’m fine, I took a chance, it worked. I expected the ass chewing. I can handle it.’’
Emily nodded, hearing the confident tone and also knowing that was JJ’s way of politely telling her that she wasn’t a kid, and she didn’t need to be pampered because she had gotten told off. But also, the squeeze of her hand and the smirk that JJ gave her also told her that she knew why she had asked, and that it was okay.
‘’Do you want to stay tonight?’’
JJ blurted out, arching an eyebrow and letting a hopeful tone slip into her voice. Emily looked at her, a little shocked at the sudden spin of conversation, especially given the question.
‘’I…what about Amelia?’’
They both looked toward the cycling little girl, and JJ pulled Emily to a stop so that they could face one another, but still didn’t let go of her hand.
‘’I think it’s time. I think we need this and I think she’ll be fine with it.’’
Emily let her tongue roll over her lips slowly as she looked past JJ and into the park for a moment. Of course she wanted to stay over, more than anything. But in true Emily Prentiss style, she had to think about it. In the past few weeks, she had been forging a bond with Amelia, letting her get to know her and letting herself do the same with her. It had been fun.
The five year old had started to go to her for things now too, they had spent time painting and making things together among other activities including ‘treasure’ hunting at the beach. Now when she came over, Amelia would make a bee line for her in order to give her a hug in greeting and almost fall over herself to tell her little stories. Maybe it was time.
‘’I’d really like to stay, I think it’s time too.’’
JJ grinned, tipping forward so that she could place a light kiss on Emily’s lips, eyes glowing as they started walking again. Emily thought for a moment that they must have looked a little ridiculous, walking along grinning for seemingly no reason, but she didn’t care.
‘’Oh, there’s another thing too. You don’t have to…I mean, don’t feel obligated or anything…just…those little things my parents have every month? Well it’s supposed to be this weekend, but because next weekend is a three day weekend they switched it. I’m taking Amelia up and if you wanted to come…but you don’t have to…it’s a lot to…’’
‘’JJ! I’d love to come, I’d really like to meet your family.’’
JJ blushed a little, feeling her heart pound in her chest as she let herself ramble inanely, suddenly nervous about asking. She had told her parents a couple of weeks ago about Emily, and they had been more than interested in hearing about her. They had also hinted not so subtly that if she so wished to fetch her to their little gathering, it would be more than okay.
It hadn’t seemed such a big thing before she had asked. But as the words began to pour out of her mouth, she realised that it was. She realised that asking your girlfriend to meet your family was a huge thing, a very, very serious thing. And it hit upon her just how serious this was, how committed this relationship was. It didn’t scare her as much as it had in the past with other people, or rather; it hadn’t after they had finally gotten started.
As the time had gone on though, JJ had found herself more and more comfortable. She thought less and less about her past pain, focusing just on Emily and the future they could have together. A future that she could actually feel. Yet still, meeting the folks, as well as her older brother and sister, was a big deal.
‘’You would?’’
She startled, almost squeaking in surprise or relief, she wasn’t really sure which one. Perhaps both. Emily just grinned at her, seemingly both amused and charmed by her shy nervousness, but nodded with a genuine touched and excited look rooted in those penetrating eyes of hers. One that spoke volumes of what it meant to her to actually be invited.
‘’I’ll be a nervous wreck, but I’d really like to, yeah. I’d really like to see where you came from.’’
JJ looked at Emily for a moment, about to reply before she sighed as her phone started to ring. Reluctantly, she let go of her lover’s hand, reaching into her pocket to pull out her blackberry. She lost hope of it being a friend or family member when she saw the ID on the screen. And within a second, after clearing her throat, she turned back into an FBI Agent instead of a girlfriend and Mother.
‘’Agent Jareau. Yes, I received that. Another one? Okay. Yeah, I think so too. No it’s fine; I’ll take care of the notifications. Thanks Anderson.’’
JJ sighed again, ceasing in her walking as she ran her hand through her hair, staring over toward Amelia who was amusing herself by cycling in zig-zag motions across the path. After a moment, she looked toward Emily, who already knew what was coming.
‘’We have to go back, one of the cases I’ve received just hit priority.’’
Isabelle coughed harshly again, which was swiftly followed by a groan. The strong Detective lifted up a hand, wiping along her lips before she pulled it back to look at her fingertips. She sighed softly as she saw the blood smeared over them.
‘’I would’ve liked to have had kids.’’
She mused softly, the realisation only striking upon her in a disappointing way that she wasn’t going to get that chance. She was too weak to really let it hit her, which may just have been a blessing. Actually, she found herself eerily calm.
‘’Hey, you’re going to get that chance. They’ll find us soon. You just hold on, you hear me?’’
Emily replied sternly, trying to kick start the fighting spirit that the other woman had. The one that had been clearly evident upon their first meet. Isabelle had barely needed to open her mouth before Emily saw that. But now, she seemed resigned, deflated.
It was at the Captain’s mistake that lead them to eventually being stranded here. In the middle of a deserted, old factory type area that had been neglected and ignored for god knew how long, a few miles out of the populated area of Las Vegas. Everything had happened so fast that Emily barely remembered what the hell had happened. Other than that they had given chase to the unsub they had been searching for, only to end up here. A playground that he knew, evidently. But as both herself, Reid and Gideon had suspected, the killer hadn’t been working alone.
With all communication cut off, a bad situation had turned disastrous. Emily found it hard to swallow that they had been over powered, had had no choice but to give up their guns after looking down the barrel of a shotgun each. And after that, especially for Isabelle, it was just a world of hurt. The younger Detective had borne the brunt of their unsub’s rage. What she couldn’t work out, was why they hadn’t been killed outright. Why instead they had been forced down this man sized type well, probably once part of a larger structure. They had put the grate over the top, limiting the view of light.
That had been a few hours ago, but then, the sense of time was starting to get a little warped.
‘’What’s your girlfriend’s kid like?’’
Isabelle wondered, wanting to change the subject for just a moment.
‘’Amelia’s just like her Mom. She’s only five and she’s already so astute.’’
Emily gripped Isabelle tighter in the bear hug she had on her, leaning her forehead on the back of her head gently as she squeezed her eyes shut, letting a few silent tears roll down her face, but refusing to actually cry. Isabelle would feel it if she cried. She remembered that beating she took, remembered the sounds, guttural and wet, indicating the real damage done on the inside. Not to mention the fall of being pushed down here. She ignored her own pain, though it had been numbed a little by the cold of the water.
‘’That’s good. You should…you should have more. It’s what it’s all about, right? Love. Family…’’
Emily just nodded, biting hard on her bottom lip as her face screwed up in a desperate effort to keep her composure, keep her calm. The tears stung her eyes though. She could hear, feel even, the younger Detective slipping away. They had only known each other for two days, but there was something to be said about the intensity of what they had been through, and what they were going through now, that bound people together. Until you actually held someone in your arms as they were dying, it could never be understood.
‘’You have to…have to tell my family…I love them, so much. Please tell them Emily.’’
Emily nodded again, giving Isabelle a squeeze, this time sniffling and not being able to stop the jerk of her body, making the water ripple, as she let out the silent sob that had welled up. This wasn’t supposed to be happening.
‘’I promise you I will. I’m so sorry…I should’ve been able to do something.’’
Isabelle shook her head weakly, blinking slowly now that it was becoming an effort to keep her eyes open.
‘’There was…nothing you could do. I’ll …I’ll haunt your ass, if you blame yourself…for this!’’
Emily couldn’t help the chuckle that escaped her then, a surreal moment in such a devastating time. She wasn’t used to being as useless as she had been in a situation like that. She wasn’t used to being taken by surprise like they had been taken by surprise. The sons of bitches had been three steps ahead of them all the way, and it had proved fatal for Isabelle Raynes.
The brunette blinked as she felt Isabelle’s hand slip into her own, entwining their fingers. Emily held on tightly, not backing away from the intensity it was to hold someone like this, holding onto their hand because they needed to feel something human before they died. She needed to give Isabelle at least that much.
‘’Can you sing?’’
The Detective asked, making Emily frown somewhat in confusion.
‘’What?’’
‘’Can you sing?’’
‘’Yes, I can sing.’’
Isabelle coughed, tasting more blood in her mouth as she did.
‘’Will you sing to me?’’
Emily paused for a moment, feeling the weight of the situation really hit her. She dragged in a breath, pushing her feelings to one side for the time being so that she could grant the dying woman’s request. She didn’t want to die in silence. Emily could understand that. So after clearing her throat, she took in another breath, recalling a lullaby she had learnt a long time ago. A lullaby she thought she had forgotten, until she had heard the Detective humming it the other day. It seemed to fit for this too, and from nowhere, the lyrics just came back to her.
‘’Toda la noche, todo el día
Angeles que miran sobre mí, Dios mio
Toda la noche, todo el día
Angeles que miran sobre mí.
Ahora me acuesta para dormir
Angeles que miran sobre mí
Dios mio ora el Dios mi alma para guarder,
Angels que miran sobre mí
Toda la noche, todo el día
Angeles que miran sobre mí, Dios mio
Toda la noche, todo el día
Angeles que miran sobre mí
Sanctifica este mundo precioso que compartimos
Angeles que miran sobre mí
Dios mio tierra y agua
Plantas y aire
Angeles que miran sobre mí
Sanctifica cada casa, y familia
Angeles que miran sobre mí
Dios mio, ayudanos dormir en paz
Angeles que miran sobre mí
Toda la noche, todo el día
Angeles que miran sobre mí , Dios mio
Toda la noche, todo el día,
Angeles que miran sobre mí.”
This time, as she sung, low and softly with the crack of emotion running through her voice, Emily didn’t stop the tears from rolling down her face. It seemed absurd to have such a peaceful moment, but it was. She sang the refrains of the lullaby gently, and even the stone walls and the water didn’t detract from the lilting of her voice.
Isabelle seemed to snuggle into her further, sighing softly, almost comfortably as Emily continued. She held onto her securely, gripping onto her hand, using her arm that was wrapped around her to hold her, wanting her to feel the warmth of another person. But as she kept singing, the grip of Isabelle’s hand got weaker, until it went limp, until Emily was the only one left holding on. She sniffled, pushing the sobs waiting to come out back until she had finished the lullaby. As she did, she gripped onto Isabelle tightly, almost burying her face into the side of her head as she let her emotion roll out of her.
‘’I’m sorry…I’m so sorry…’’