Needing Her - Emily/JJ
Title: Needing Her
Author: Maggsie! (me)
Fandom: Criminal Minds
Pairing: Emily/JJ
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Unfortunately I do not own any of the characters
Spoilers: None
AN: Thank you to darkbardzerofor being my wonderful beta and a friend :-)
Summary: When the same issues keep rising in their relationship, can they work through it?
Emily Prentiss walked in to the living room, passing the couch and placing a small kiss on top of the blonde head that was sat there. Taking a seat next to JJ, she reached over and kissed her lips gently, before intertwining their hands together. They had been together for 18 months, and after a year together they had decided to move in with each other. The team knew and they were very happy for them, as long as they stayed professional; a line they had almost crossed a couple of times. Glancing over she locked eyes with JJ, and smiled. Emily seemed to be doing that a lot lately, and she was very sure it was all to do with the press liaison.
“So, do you want to get a movie? Get takeaway in?”
Emily asked, as she pulled JJ towards her and wrapped her arm around her; the blonde’s head resting on her shoulder.
“Sounds good, baby.”
They hadn’t had much chance to spend time together as they had just come off a case, and they were both looking forward of having a night in with each other; enjoying each other’s company. A hotel room wasn’t the same, especially after long days when all they wanted to do was fall asleep in each other’s arms. Tonight was all about them.
“Okay, well then you choose the movie and I’ll go and ring for a takeaway.”
JJ nodded, as Emily unwrapped herself from around JJ and walked back into the kitchen. As soon as the brunette had gone, the press liaison’s cell went and she groaned hoping that it wasn’t work. They had been given a few days off, and she wanted to enjoy them, but it didn’t look like she was going to. For a minute, she thought about not answering, but then her professional side kicked in and she answered.
“Jareau....Oh, hi Mom.”
Walking back in, Emily froze as she heard who was on the other end of the phone and stood still in the doorway just listening. That was one problem, none of JJ’s family knew that she was gay, and it was starting to become a big issue in their relationship.
“Um...I’ll have to see about work, but if I’m not working I’ll come.... No Mom, I haven’t met anyone yet. Just the wrong time right now.... Yes, I’ll let you know. Bye Mom.”
Emily frowned, and slowly walked back to the couch, trying to get the anger that was rising in her to go away. She didn’t want to do this tonight, not when they had almost spent a week apart. Taking a seat, on the opposite side of the couch, she looked at her girlfriend who was staring down at her phone.
“Who was that?”
Emily asked quietly, she already knew but she wanted JJ to say something to her.
“My Mom, she wants me to go down next weekend. My cousin is having a last minute wedding.”
“Are you going to go?”
“Probably. I’m allowed to bring a guest; do you want to come with me?”
The brunette seriously considered her answer. If she was honest, she was tired of being the ‘roommate’ at JJ’s family gatherings. It was hard to pretend not to be together, especially when all she wanted to do was kiss her girlfriend, but she couldn’t because of JJ’s family. It would be a strain off their relationship, if JJ told her family, but she didn’t seem to want to.
“No, I’m not going to come.”
“What? Why not?”
Emily took a deep breath, knowing this wasn’t going to end well. This was a repeated argument they seemed to be having a lot of.
“I’m not prepared to be your ‘friend’ anymore. It’s not fair.”
“Making me tell my family isn’t fair on me. We’ve been through this.”
The brunette could feel herself getting agitated, and she stood up, running her hand through her hair, as she paced the room. Why did her Mother have to ring tonight? All she wanted was a nice night in with her girlfriend, obviously that was too much to ask for, and instead they were going to be stuck in an argument.
“I can’t come with you and not be able to say anything when your ex-boyfriend starts chatting you up. Do you know how hard that is for me, to just stand there? But maybe that’s what you want.”
Emily knew she had struck a chord as JJ stood up, and as the profiler turned to look at her, she could see the anger in her eyes. But she kept going.
“Maybe you don’t want to tell people because maybe you’re not even sure about your sexuality. Maybe you want to get back with your ex, and I’m just a warm body until you get him back. Is that it?”
“I can’t believe you just said that. You know how much I love you, God damn it!”
“If it’s not that, then what is it? Are you ashamed of me?”
JJ stiffened; she never wanted to make Emily feel like she was ashamed of her. She tried to hold back the tears that she knew were about to fall, but she failed and felt a single tear roll down her cheek. She couldn’t believe that she had planted doubt into the brunette’s mind about her love for her. The blonde turned away from Emily, and wrapped her arms around herself.
She wasn’t ashamed of Emily at all, but she wasn’t ready to tell her family. She came from a small town, and if it got out, then the whole town would know. Everyone would know her business and she had moved away from that for a reason, to get away from all the idle gossip. She knew that’s what it would become. Every time she would visit her family she would be whispered about and pointed at, and as much as she loved Emily, she couldn’t do it. She hated herself right now for making Emily think she was ever ashamed of her. The tears were now streaming down her face and as she turned back to the brunette, she saw the same reflected.
“You are ashamed.”
Emily choked out, and she walked to the bedroom, slamming the door on her way in. JJ just stood there, not sure what to say. She hated seeing Emily upset, especially when it was all her fault. She had to do something.
Walking after the brunette, she stopped as soon as she had opened the door, her eyes widening as she saw Emily packing up a bag with clothes.
“What are you doing?”
“What does it look like I’m doing? I’m not going to stay with someone who’s ashamed of me.”
Emily didn’t stop packing her bags, as she carried on talking. JJ walked forward and grabbed her arm, stopping her from stuffing the clothes into her bag. This was the last thing she wanted, she wasn’t ready to lose Emily, and she never wanted to lose her. All she saw when she looked at the brunette was a future.
“I don’t want you to go, we can work this out.”
“No we can’t JJ. I’m tired of this, and knowing you’re ashamed of me, just made my decision that much easier.”
“I’m not ashamed of you!”
“No? Then tell your family.”
“I can’t do that, I’m sorry.”
“Then it looks like I’m leaving. I’ll leave my key on the way out.”
JJ didn’t try and stop the tears that were flowing freely, and she stood back watching Emily pack her bag. It looked like nothing she could say was going to stop her leaving.
Zipping up her bag, Emily slipped it over her shoulder and walked out the bedroom. JJ followed and swallowed back a sob, as the brunette pulled the house key off the key chain and left it on the kitchen counter. Knowing she had to try one last time, she grabbed Emily’s arm again and turned her around. Caressing the brunette’s cheek with her hand she placed a gentle kiss on her lips, tasting the salty tears that were coming from both of them.
“Please don’t go.”
JJ whispered against Emily’s lips, and the brunette stepped back and walked to the door. Opening it, she turned back to look at the blonde.
“I won’t be your secret anymore.”
x x x
It was the weekend of her cousin’s wedding and JJ was on her way...alone. Emily had walked out, and had gone to stay at Morgan’s. JJ had seen her at work, but the brunette had only talked to her when there was only work to be talked about. Anything other than that, Emily had just walked away. She had tried to go round to Morgan’s but he had said that the brunette didn’t want to see her.
The team knew, but they hadn’t said anything to either of them, just tried to carry on as normal. But JJ was finding that hard. She missed falling asleep with her, and waking up with Emily. She missed going to see her during a bad case when Emily would make it alright just by a single kiss. She missed the smaller things, like watching the TV together snuggled up, or making dinner together. JJ wanted her back; she just didn’t know how she was going to do it. Rather, she knew how she should do it, just wasn’t sure whether she could.
Reaching her parent’s house, she smiled as she saw her Mom waiting at the door for her with her Dad. Stepping out the car, she grabbed her bag and walked towards them where she found herself engulfed with hugs. The blonde was then shuffled into the family room, where she found herself sitting opposite her parents. It always happened; they always asked the same questions. It was the reason she didn’t come to see her parents more often.
“So, how have you been, Jennifer?”
JJ looked up to look at her Dad. She was a lot closer to her Dad than her Mom, their personalities often clashed, more often than not.
“I’m doing good Dad. My job is going well.”
“You haven’t given up that nonsense yet?”
The blonde reminded herself that she shouldn’t let her Mom affect her, but that was hard to do when she questioned JJ’s decisions every time she saw her.
“No Mom, I haven’t given up that nonsense. I love my job, I feel like I’m making a difference, and that is important to me. My job is extremely important to me, you know this. Nothing you say is going to change my mind.”
“But...what about settling down? Don’t you want to meet someone and have a family?”
“Yes Mom, I do.”
“So, why don’t you quit your job and settle down? You could have brought a guest this weekend. I mean, where’s Emily? She usually comes with you when you haven’t got a boyfriend.”
JJ could feel herself getting upset, it was why she wouldn’t come home more often. The mention of Emily had made her stomach flip, she desperately wished the brunette was there with her but she had ruined everything, and the blonde could never forgive herself for letting Emily walk out.
“She couldn’t come with me this time, she already had plans.”
“So, why didn’t you bring someone else?”
All JJ was thinking about was Emily, and how she hadn’t been fair to the brunette. Emily had known it was going to be tough telling the Ambassador about them but she had done it. At first she had reacted badly, but after a while she had grown to the idea and that had made Emily happy. She knew her Mom would be bad, but she had still done. So why couldn’t JJ repay the faith? She couldn’t answer that.
Standing up, she let the tears fall as she looked down at her parents. This was going to devastate them but she was willing to do it, to get Emily back.
“Mom, Dad; I need to go home.”
Her Mom stood up, but JJ knew she had to be strong if she was going to do this.
“What? Why?”
“I need to get Emily back, I need to tell her how much I love her and how much I need her. I’m sorry, but I can’t live without her.”
“Then you should go.”
JJ stood in shock, she had expected a bigger reaction than that, maybe to have her Mom screaming at her, and as she looked down at her Dad, she found him smiling.
“You really think we didn’t know about the two of you? We’ve known since the first time we met her. It was the way you looked at each other, we were just waiting for you to say something to us.”
A small smile started to spread across the blonde liaison’s face. She couldn’t believe that for the last 14 months or so, her parents had already knew. All that sneaking off for a kiss, they hadn’t needed to do. All the coming back and forth from her bedroom to the spare room where Emily was staying, when they could have stayed in the same bed. She looked back down at her Dad.
“Go.”
JJ didn’t need telling twice, as she hugged her parents goodbye and ran out of the door to the car. The tears were finally subsiding, and she jumped in the car and headed for home...to Emily.
A couple of hours later, she was parked outside Morgan’s house looking up. She could see Emily standing in the window and she jumped out and headed to the door. Knocking hard, she could feel her hands shaking. JJ was incredibly nervous, all she hoped was that Emily would come home with her. She was so lost in her thoughts that she didn’t see Morgan standing at the door.
“Girl, what you doing here?”
“I need to see Emily.”
“I don’t think that’s a good...”
“Please.”
Morgan nodded, and JJ walked past him straight to where she knew Emily was waiting. She stopped in the doorway as she found Emily looking out the window, and she slowly turned round to look at JJ.
“What are you doing here?”
JJ stepped forward a few steps until she was just outside of Emily’s personal space. With her hand, she reached up and caressed down Emily’s face and smiled when the brunette didn’t flinch. She caressed down her arm, and linked their fingers together.
“I want you back...no, I need you back. Please come home.”
“Why? Nothing’s changed.”
“Would you believe me if I told you that my parents already knew about us, and were just waiting for me to tell them?”
JJ would almost of laughed at the expression on Emily’s face, if it hadn’t been so serious. She saw all sorts of emotions run through her eye’s, and she lightly squeezed her hand trying to get her attention back. Blinking slowly, Emily turned to meet her eyes.
“Please...I love you so much, I just want you home.”
Emily stepped forward and pulled JJ in for a deep kiss. Their arms wrapping round each other as their tongues explored each other’s mouth. It was a kiss full of want, of forgiveness, of their feelings for each other.
“I’m so sorry, I should have never walked out. I love you too. You have no idea how much I’ve missed you.”
JJ wiped Emily’s tears away with her thumbs and she placed a more gentle kiss on the brunette’s lips.
“You have nothing to be sorry for. And I could never be ashamed of you. I was wrong for thinking you were okay with it being a secret for my family. I went there with the intention of telling them all about is, and I did. But then they shocked me. I’m sorry too, so much. Come home?”
Emily nodded, and pulled JJ into a fierce embrace, placing a kiss on the side of her head. She wasn’t going to lose this again.
Author: Maggsie! (me)
Fandom: Criminal Minds
Pairing: Emily/JJ
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Unfortunately I do not own any of the characters
Spoilers: None
AN: Thank you to darkbardzerofor being my wonderful beta and a friend :-)
Summary: When the same issues keep rising in their relationship, can they work through it?
Emily Prentiss walked in to the living room, passing the couch and placing a small kiss on top of the blonde head that was sat there. Taking a seat next to JJ, she reached over and kissed her lips gently, before intertwining their hands together. They had been together for 18 months, and after a year together they had decided to move in with each other. The team knew and they were very happy for them, as long as they stayed professional; a line they had almost crossed a couple of times. Glancing over she locked eyes with JJ, and smiled. Emily seemed to be doing that a lot lately, and she was very sure it was all to do with the press liaison.
“So, do you want to get a movie? Get takeaway in?”
Emily asked, as she pulled JJ towards her and wrapped her arm around her; the blonde’s head resting on her shoulder.
“Sounds good, baby.”
They hadn’t had much chance to spend time together as they had just come off a case, and they were both looking forward of having a night in with each other; enjoying each other’s company. A hotel room wasn’t the same, especially after long days when all they wanted to do was fall asleep in each other’s arms. Tonight was all about them.
“Okay, well then you choose the movie and I’ll go and ring for a takeaway.”
JJ nodded, as Emily unwrapped herself from around JJ and walked back into the kitchen. As soon as the brunette had gone, the press liaison’s cell went and she groaned hoping that it wasn’t work. They had been given a few days off, and she wanted to enjoy them, but it didn’t look like she was going to. For a minute, she thought about not answering, but then her professional side kicked in and she answered.
“Jareau....Oh, hi Mom.”
Walking back in, Emily froze as she heard who was on the other end of the phone and stood still in the doorway just listening. That was one problem, none of JJ’s family knew that she was gay, and it was starting to become a big issue in their relationship.
“Um...I’ll have to see about work, but if I’m not working I’ll come.... No Mom, I haven’t met anyone yet. Just the wrong time right now.... Yes, I’ll let you know. Bye Mom.”
Emily frowned, and slowly walked back to the couch, trying to get the anger that was rising in her to go away. She didn’t want to do this tonight, not when they had almost spent a week apart. Taking a seat, on the opposite side of the couch, she looked at her girlfriend who was staring down at her phone.
“Who was that?”
Emily asked quietly, she already knew but she wanted JJ to say something to her.
“My Mom, she wants me to go down next weekend. My cousin is having a last minute wedding.”
“Are you going to go?”
“Probably. I’m allowed to bring a guest; do you want to come with me?”
The brunette seriously considered her answer. If she was honest, she was tired of being the ‘roommate’ at JJ’s family gatherings. It was hard to pretend not to be together, especially when all she wanted to do was kiss her girlfriend, but she couldn’t because of JJ’s family. It would be a strain off their relationship, if JJ told her family, but she didn’t seem to want to.
“No, I’m not going to come.”
“What? Why not?”
Emily took a deep breath, knowing this wasn’t going to end well. This was a repeated argument they seemed to be having a lot of.
“I’m not prepared to be your ‘friend’ anymore. It’s not fair.”
“Making me tell my family isn’t fair on me. We’ve been through this.”
The brunette could feel herself getting agitated, and she stood up, running her hand through her hair, as she paced the room. Why did her Mother have to ring tonight? All she wanted was a nice night in with her girlfriend, obviously that was too much to ask for, and instead they were going to be stuck in an argument.
“I can’t come with you and not be able to say anything when your ex-boyfriend starts chatting you up. Do you know how hard that is for me, to just stand there? But maybe that’s what you want.”
Emily knew she had struck a chord as JJ stood up, and as the profiler turned to look at her, she could see the anger in her eyes. But she kept going.
“Maybe you don’t want to tell people because maybe you’re not even sure about your sexuality. Maybe you want to get back with your ex, and I’m just a warm body until you get him back. Is that it?”
“I can’t believe you just said that. You know how much I love you, God damn it!”
“If it’s not that, then what is it? Are you ashamed of me?”
JJ stiffened; she never wanted to make Emily feel like she was ashamed of her. She tried to hold back the tears that she knew were about to fall, but she failed and felt a single tear roll down her cheek. She couldn’t believe that she had planted doubt into the brunette’s mind about her love for her. The blonde turned away from Emily, and wrapped her arms around herself.
She wasn’t ashamed of Emily at all, but she wasn’t ready to tell her family. She came from a small town, and if it got out, then the whole town would know. Everyone would know her business and she had moved away from that for a reason, to get away from all the idle gossip. She knew that’s what it would become. Every time she would visit her family she would be whispered about and pointed at, and as much as she loved Emily, she couldn’t do it. She hated herself right now for making Emily think she was ever ashamed of her. The tears were now streaming down her face and as she turned back to the brunette, she saw the same reflected.
“You are ashamed.”
Emily choked out, and she walked to the bedroom, slamming the door on her way in. JJ just stood there, not sure what to say. She hated seeing Emily upset, especially when it was all her fault. She had to do something.
Walking after the brunette, she stopped as soon as she had opened the door, her eyes widening as she saw Emily packing up a bag with clothes.
“What are you doing?”
“What does it look like I’m doing? I’m not going to stay with someone who’s ashamed of me.”
Emily didn’t stop packing her bags, as she carried on talking. JJ walked forward and grabbed her arm, stopping her from stuffing the clothes into her bag. This was the last thing she wanted, she wasn’t ready to lose Emily, and she never wanted to lose her. All she saw when she looked at the brunette was a future.
“I don’t want you to go, we can work this out.”
“No we can’t JJ. I’m tired of this, and knowing you’re ashamed of me, just made my decision that much easier.”
“I’m not ashamed of you!”
“No? Then tell your family.”
“I can’t do that, I’m sorry.”
“Then it looks like I’m leaving. I’ll leave my key on the way out.”
JJ didn’t try and stop the tears that were flowing freely, and she stood back watching Emily pack her bag. It looked like nothing she could say was going to stop her leaving.
Zipping up her bag, Emily slipped it over her shoulder and walked out the bedroom. JJ followed and swallowed back a sob, as the brunette pulled the house key off the key chain and left it on the kitchen counter. Knowing she had to try one last time, she grabbed Emily’s arm again and turned her around. Caressing the brunette’s cheek with her hand she placed a gentle kiss on her lips, tasting the salty tears that were coming from both of them.
“Please don’t go.”
JJ whispered against Emily’s lips, and the brunette stepped back and walked to the door. Opening it, she turned back to look at the blonde.
“I won’t be your secret anymore.”
x x x
It was the weekend of her cousin’s wedding and JJ was on her way...alone. Emily had walked out, and had gone to stay at Morgan’s. JJ had seen her at work, but the brunette had only talked to her when there was only work to be talked about. Anything other than that, Emily had just walked away. She had tried to go round to Morgan’s but he had said that the brunette didn’t want to see her.
The team knew, but they hadn’t said anything to either of them, just tried to carry on as normal. But JJ was finding that hard. She missed falling asleep with her, and waking up with Emily. She missed going to see her during a bad case when Emily would make it alright just by a single kiss. She missed the smaller things, like watching the TV together snuggled up, or making dinner together. JJ wanted her back; she just didn’t know how she was going to do it. Rather, she knew how she should do it, just wasn’t sure whether she could.
Reaching her parent’s house, she smiled as she saw her Mom waiting at the door for her with her Dad. Stepping out the car, she grabbed her bag and walked towards them where she found herself engulfed with hugs. The blonde was then shuffled into the family room, where she found herself sitting opposite her parents. It always happened; they always asked the same questions. It was the reason she didn’t come to see her parents more often.
“So, how have you been, Jennifer?”
JJ looked up to look at her Dad. She was a lot closer to her Dad than her Mom, their personalities often clashed, more often than not.
“I’m doing good Dad. My job is going well.”
“You haven’t given up that nonsense yet?”
The blonde reminded herself that she shouldn’t let her Mom affect her, but that was hard to do when she questioned JJ’s decisions every time she saw her.
“No Mom, I haven’t given up that nonsense. I love my job, I feel like I’m making a difference, and that is important to me. My job is extremely important to me, you know this. Nothing you say is going to change my mind.”
“But...what about settling down? Don’t you want to meet someone and have a family?”
“Yes Mom, I do.”
“So, why don’t you quit your job and settle down? You could have brought a guest this weekend. I mean, where’s Emily? She usually comes with you when you haven’t got a boyfriend.”
JJ could feel herself getting upset, it was why she wouldn’t come home more often. The mention of Emily had made her stomach flip, she desperately wished the brunette was there with her but she had ruined everything, and the blonde could never forgive herself for letting Emily walk out.
“She couldn’t come with me this time, she already had plans.”
“So, why didn’t you bring someone else?”
All JJ was thinking about was Emily, and how she hadn’t been fair to the brunette. Emily had known it was going to be tough telling the Ambassador about them but she had done it. At first she had reacted badly, but after a while she had grown to the idea and that had made Emily happy. She knew her Mom would be bad, but she had still done. So why couldn’t JJ repay the faith? She couldn’t answer that.
Standing up, she let the tears fall as she looked down at her parents. This was going to devastate them but she was willing to do it, to get Emily back.
“Mom, Dad; I need to go home.”
Her Mom stood up, but JJ knew she had to be strong if she was going to do this.
“What? Why?”
“I need to get Emily back, I need to tell her how much I love her and how much I need her. I’m sorry, but I can’t live without her.”
“Then you should go.”
JJ stood in shock, she had expected a bigger reaction than that, maybe to have her Mom screaming at her, and as she looked down at her Dad, she found him smiling.
“You really think we didn’t know about the two of you? We’ve known since the first time we met her. It was the way you looked at each other, we were just waiting for you to say something to us.”
A small smile started to spread across the blonde liaison’s face. She couldn’t believe that for the last 14 months or so, her parents had already knew. All that sneaking off for a kiss, they hadn’t needed to do. All the coming back and forth from her bedroom to the spare room where Emily was staying, when they could have stayed in the same bed. She looked back down at her Dad.
“Go.”
JJ didn’t need telling twice, as she hugged her parents goodbye and ran out of the door to the car. The tears were finally subsiding, and she jumped in the car and headed for home...to Emily.
A couple of hours later, she was parked outside Morgan’s house looking up. She could see Emily standing in the window and she jumped out and headed to the door. Knocking hard, she could feel her hands shaking. JJ was incredibly nervous, all she hoped was that Emily would come home with her. She was so lost in her thoughts that she didn’t see Morgan standing at the door.
“Girl, what you doing here?”
“I need to see Emily.”
“I don’t think that’s a good...”
“Please.”
Morgan nodded, and JJ walked past him straight to where she knew Emily was waiting. She stopped in the doorway as she found Emily looking out the window, and she slowly turned round to look at JJ.
“What are you doing here?”
JJ stepped forward a few steps until she was just outside of Emily’s personal space. With her hand, she reached up and caressed down Emily’s face and smiled when the brunette didn’t flinch. She caressed down her arm, and linked their fingers together.
“I want you back...no, I need you back. Please come home.”
“Why? Nothing’s changed.”
“Would you believe me if I told you that my parents already knew about us, and were just waiting for me to tell them?”
JJ would almost of laughed at the expression on Emily’s face, if it hadn’t been so serious. She saw all sorts of emotions run through her eye’s, and she lightly squeezed her hand trying to get her attention back. Blinking slowly, Emily turned to meet her eyes.
“Please...I love you so much, I just want you home.”
Emily stepped forward and pulled JJ in for a deep kiss. Their arms wrapping round each other as their tongues explored each other’s mouth. It was a kiss full of want, of forgiveness, of their feelings for each other.
“I’m so sorry, I should have never walked out. I love you too. You have no idea how much I’ve missed you.”
JJ wiped Emily’s tears away with her thumbs and she placed a more gentle kiss on the brunette’s lips.
“You have nothing to be sorry for. And I could never be ashamed of you. I was wrong for thinking you were okay with it being a secret for my family. I went there with the intention of telling them all about is, and I did. But then they shocked me. I’m sorry too, so much. Come home?”
Emily nodded, and pulled JJ into a fierce embrace, placing a kiss on the side of her head. She wasn’t going to lose this again.