one week after being hotdropped
This is kinda long and introspective, but at least it's not emo. If you're not much interested in what's going on in my head, move along. There's nothing for you to see here. On the other hand, if you want some context for things that are going on here and elsewhere in my life, this is a good place to start.
As I mentioned here, P and some of my close friends in the area, along with my brother Carlos, did an intervention last week. So far the results have been mostly positive; progress has been made in a number of areas, and in the others I'm at least not slipping further behind the curve. First of all, physically I'm in better shape than I was last week. Blood sugar control is better than it was, weight has rebounded slightly from when I got out of the hospital on 2/26 but is still hanging around 400 pounds. I feel better, and the wound in my leg that sparked the visit to the hospital and resulting intervention is healing faster than the doctors were expecting, even with the vacuum dressing. Everyone at work says I'm looking and sounding better than I was before I went into the hospital on 2/18.
Mentally, I feel sharper and more engaged, even more so than I did before the infection set in last month. I still think I need some quality time with a headshrinker (and more with a priest) to dig out some of the land mines in my head left there by the ex-wife and others, but that's coming. I'm getting stuff done on a daily basis, and not just because my friends are insisting on a daily task list & recap of tasks completed at the end of the day.I also think that paring down the number of distractions in my life has helped. I've put EVE on hold for a while, and the same is true of politics - I'm still reading blogs, but I don't feel motivated to do more than leave the occasional wry comment.
Emotionally, I'm stoked. Getting things done is doing good things for my ego, as is work, where they like me and think I'm doing an awesome job. I feel like I'm on my way to getting my head right, and getting right with the Church - yeah, I missed confession yesterday, but I'm going to Mass this afternoon and going to take care of confession this week after work. So I'm moving forward on that front too. I'm also getting a boost from the progress I'm making in other areas. The temptation is there to use hate for animaltofriends as a motivator, but the priest agrees that this is a bad idea. Weeks and months go by without my thinking about her, and I'd like to bump that up to months & years. There's no advantage to dwelling on unpersons, and I can find motivation elsewhere easily enough. (I'll avoid the women as streetcars analogy here, I think.)
Financially, things could be better, but they could also suck a lot worse. digex and I discussed career tracks in the hospital, and we agree that neither teaching or the current approach of flailing around trying to find some entry- or mid-level bookkeeping/accounting position are going to work. Current plan is to go back to school and take the courses required for the CPA exam, after which I can take advantage of friends to network and go into private practice as a hired gun. Have spreadsheets/Quick Books, will travel, yes sir. I'll also take the tax prep classes offered by H&R Block and keep doing that in its season as well, because that will complement the practice nicely.
So, yeah. Feeling better. Working better. Moving ahead. This is the way it's supposed to be. No more wallowing in the slough of despond; there's no time for that, because I have places to go and people to do, or something like that.
P: You're right, the current music isn't nearly as depressing as I used to think it was. I just had it in the wrong context.
As I mentioned here, P and some of my close friends in the area, along with my brother Carlos, did an intervention last week. So far the results have been mostly positive; progress has been made in a number of areas, and in the others I'm at least not slipping further behind the curve. First of all, physically I'm in better shape than I was last week. Blood sugar control is better than it was, weight has rebounded slightly from when I got out of the hospital on 2/26 but is still hanging around 400 pounds. I feel better, and the wound in my leg that sparked the visit to the hospital and resulting intervention is healing faster than the doctors were expecting, even with the vacuum dressing. Everyone at work says I'm looking and sounding better than I was before I went into the hospital on 2/18.
Mentally, I feel sharper and more engaged, even more so than I did before the infection set in last month. I still think I need some quality time with a headshrinker (and more with a priest) to dig out some of the land mines in my head left there by the ex-wife and others, but that's coming. I'm getting stuff done on a daily basis, and not just because my friends are insisting on a daily task list & recap of tasks completed at the end of the day.I also think that paring down the number of distractions in my life has helped. I've put EVE on hold for a while, and the same is true of politics - I'm still reading blogs, but I don't feel motivated to do more than leave the occasional wry comment.
Emotionally, I'm stoked. Getting things done is doing good things for my ego, as is work, where they like me and think I'm doing an awesome job. I feel like I'm on my way to getting my head right, and getting right with the Church - yeah, I missed confession yesterday, but I'm going to Mass this afternoon and going to take care of confession this week after work. So I'm moving forward on that front too. I'm also getting a boost from the progress I'm making in other areas. The temptation is there to use hate for animaltofriends as a motivator, but the priest agrees that this is a bad idea. Weeks and months go by without my thinking about her, and I'd like to bump that up to months & years. There's no advantage to dwelling on unpersons, and I can find motivation elsewhere easily enough. (I'll avoid the women as streetcars analogy here, I think.)
Financially, things could be better, but they could also suck a lot worse. digex and I discussed career tracks in the hospital, and we agree that neither teaching or the current approach of flailing around trying to find some entry- or mid-level bookkeeping/accounting position are going to work. Current plan is to go back to school and take the courses required for the CPA exam, after which I can take advantage of friends to network and go into private practice as a hired gun. Have spreadsheets/Quick Books, will travel, yes sir. I'll also take the tax prep classes offered by H&R Block and keep doing that in its season as well, because that will complement the practice nicely.
So, yeah. Feeling better. Working better. Moving ahead. This is the way it's supposed to be. No more wallowing in the slough of despond; there's no time for that, because I have places to go and people to do, or something like that.
P: You're right, the current music isn't nearly as depressing as I used to think it was. I just had it in the wrong context.