Comments | wolfieboy: Barriers inside of me, Nice things about other people

wolfieboy

Barriers inside of me, Nice things about other people

Aug 29, 2005 07:36

So, in the Snaps Cup Meme that I did, there was a thread that mentions that I give good hugs but there there is some barrier inside of me. I agree that there is a barrier there. To me, such a barrier is psychologically healthy. There is an inner core to my Self that is intensely my own. The only person to ever share that space is cindygerb and I was ( Read more... )

torin.faq, leme

Comments 8

lunasmiles August 29 2005, 14:59:17 UTC

It's most likely that the barrier that person is bumping up against is of their own construction.....

Re: barriers wolfieboy August 29 2005, 16:25:27 UTC

Actually, there is a barrier of my own there, whether they construct one or not. I need it to keep my self from diffusing into the other people that I interact with.

(The comment has been removed)

change links wolfieboy August 29 2005, 16:29:34 UTC

I did so. I also left an anonymous comment a few days ago. I get amused wondering if people can figure out if a comment is mine or which one for that matter.

vivid_confusion August 29 2005, 15:31:54 UTC

There is an inner core to my Self that is intensely my own. The only person to ever share that space is [info]cindygerb and I was surprised when even that happened. Yup. One of the most frightening thing in my life is that M walked right through my defenses as if they were never there. I can't even put them up to keep him out of that space. I've tried. I pretend sometimes and try to hide those things away. I tuck bits into chinks and crannies and hidey-holes. He sees them anyway--even parts of me that I had forgotten or don't know are there--and there is nothing I can do about it. It is/was a total shocker ( ... )

Re: defenses wolfieboy August 29 2005, 16:52:38 UTC

One of the things that I can't English about this topic is the question of access. The private place inside me doesn't have a fortress or a wall or anything like that. Cindy has had access due to us knowing each other intimately for almost a decade a half. It's also because she is a special kind of weird that I never thought I would find in anyone else. There might even be other factors. It takes all of these combined for her to have -some- access there. I'm going to continue to see if I can come up with an appropriate metaphor but nothing has come up yet.

Interesting that... cooncat August 29 2005, 19:22:29 UTC

...you would even write about innermost boundaries. As someone who was raised that we were not worthy of having boundaries to respect, and later learning expensively that's a form of abuse...your statement is such a basic part of healthy living it's weird that others would even suggest they wouldn't live the same way, and I have a hard time believing them. Respect is based on boundaries.

Re: Interesting that... wolfieboy August 31 2005, 21:39:14 UTC

I agree that it's something that I consider pretty basic. But it did come up, so I wanted to be sure and mention it.

fieryfae469 August 30 2005, 14:15:42 UTC

i wrote a long long comment and then posted it but LJ lost it in the minute folds of neverwhere. I'm not so sure i could even duplicate it, as it was just musings of my life, based on things you commented here. but I will try ( ... )