In. Sane.
My brain is the biggest damn collection of random right now, you wouldn't believe it. As proof, I offer this, written for irony_rocks, who has just discovered the unique joys of law school paperwork, poor thing.
“What do you mean, a slight problem?” Elizabeth growled at the placidly smiling hologram, and wow, Sheppard thought, not even the Wraith Queen had managed to provoke that particular tone.
“While your corporeal forms are presently residing in stasis,” the bland-faced woman continued, “I am afraid the database has misfiled your virtual simulacra, and we are unable to complete reinitiation at the present time. Please try again in eight cycles.”
“Elizabeth,” he muttered, “did the nice lady just say she can’t wake us up because there’s a problem with the paperwork?”
Elizabeth’s nostrils flared. She pressed her lips together and narrowed her eyes at the interface. “May I remind you,” she said in a clear, precise voice, “that Doctor McKay is out there, in the corporeal world, working to get us back, and that he will think nothing of gutting your system administration protocols to do it?”
John hadn’t realized a hologram could turn that particular shade of puce, last seen on the face of a particularly terrified physicist fresh off the Daedalus. “One moment, please,” she said quickly, and winked out.
“Hey!” he protested, “Come back here!”
Elizabeth grabbed his arm. “Wait a moment.” He looked at her in disbelief, starting to ask her what the hell she thought she was doing, when the hologram abruptly reappeared.
“Fortunately,” it said, and really, he thought, computers weren’t supposed to sound relieved, “the system error has been corrected. Please stand by for download.”
He looked over at Elizabeth, who was looking entirely too smug. “Leverage, John,” she said. “It’s all about proper use of leverage.”
“What do you mean, a slight problem?” Elizabeth growled at the placidly smiling hologram, and wow, Sheppard thought, not even the Wraith Queen had managed to provoke that particular tone.
“While your corporeal forms are presently residing in stasis,” the bland-faced woman continued, “I am afraid the database has misfiled your virtual simulacra, and we are unable to complete reinitiation at the present time. Please try again in eight cycles.”
“Elizabeth,” he muttered, “did the nice lady just say she can’t wake us up because there’s a problem with the paperwork?”
Elizabeth’s nostrils flared. She pressed her lips together and narrowed her eyes at the interface. “May I remind you,” she said in a clear, precise voice, “that Doctor McKay is out there, in the corporeal world, working to get us back, and that he will think nothing of gutting your system administration protocols to do it?”
John hadn’t realized a hologram could turn that particular shade of puce, last seen on the face of a particularly terrified physicist fresh off the Daedalus. “One moment, please,” she said quickly, and winked out.
“Hey!” he protested, “Come back here!”
Elizabeth grabbed his arm. “Wait a moment.” He looked at her in disbelief, starting to ask her what the hell she thought she was doing, when the hologram abruptly reappeared.
“Fortunately,” it said, and really, he thought, computers weren’t supposed to sound relieved, “the system error has been corrected. Please stand by for download.”
He looked over at Elizabeth, who was looking entirely too smug. “Leverage, John,” she said. “It’s all about proper use of leverage.”