Poor Ken! That was a tough choice to make, and it would have bothered him no matter which choice he had made. Nice touch that the wife's nightgown was the color of the sky that Ken so wanted to enjoy!
Oooh, poor Ken! It came through so clearly just how difficult this is for him. I loved the confrontation and the reflection part; it's bound to be for someone in Ken's 'profession' that he'll end up in a situation like this someday and the way you wrote this seemed all so believable, if sad. Tough life and tough choices - he really isn't spared anything.
I really felt for Ken and the dilemma he faced. Tough decision. Well written and great use of description, although I agree with skyrat13 in regards to the overuse of "pale blue sky" in the first part of the fic.
I thought you did a wonderful job of capturing Ken's restless mood in the first part, and Ken's contemplating the thought of rebirth while watching the woman with her husband was a very good and surprising touch.
I love it when people take the time to describe things in their writing, but there is something about too much of a good thing. For concrit I would recommend trying to limit descriptive words a little - maybe once per sentence, just to get the feel for it. It will make the overall effect more powerful (though it does take some time to get used to it - I know because I still struggle with it myself.)
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I love it when people take the time to describe things in their writing, but there is something about too much of a good thing. For concrit I would recommend trying to limit descriptive words a little - maybe once per sentence, just to get the feel for it. It will make the overall effect more powerful (though it does take some time to get used to it - I know because I still struggle with it myself.)
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