"Church Etiquette"

[wizzard890]

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Title: "Church Etiquette"
Author: pyrrhiccomedy and wizzard890
Character(s) or Pairing(s): bitty!Russia, bitty!Ukraine, very bitty!Belarus, France, various men of the cloth.
Rating: PG-13 for, uh, for France.
Summary: In which Russia meets France for the first time, and narrowly avoids receiving something of an education.
And I Care...Why? Because bitty!Russia is

Comments

[ladyrandomness]

"I saw a confessional box inside!" Vanya says. "We don't have those. That's okay, though, 'cause I don't like small places. Is that where fornication happens?"

France coughs on a laugh and lays his hand on Vanya's head, strokes his hair a few passes with his thumb. "Not nearly so much as it should."

OH RUSSIA YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW. I wonder if there's a place in France where Francis hasn't done it.

[wizzard890]

THE ANSWER IS NO. NO, THERE IS NOT.

EVERY TREE AND ROCKY OUTCROPPING.

YOU KNOW IT.

[ladyrandomness]

SO IT'S LIKE HE'S MARKING HIS TERRITORY. NO WONDER ARTHUR GOT KICKED OUT OF FRANCE. OR WAIT, DID HE JUST LIKE, HAVE SEX THERE HIMSELF TO MAKE UP FOR THE FRANCIS-NESS? OR DID THEY LIKE, MARK IT TOGETHER? WHAT IS THIS I DON'T EVEN

[psychoxbreaker]

Fff I can't begin to explain how much I loved this! Funny, adorable and with such vivid imagery--I almost forgot how cold and rainy it is outside and expected nice weather! :c

Loved it!

[wizzard890]

Oh, it's gorgeous where I am right now! *sends good weather vibes*

Glad you liked it!

[miss_chella]

This was so nice! You got bitty!Bela so right. That sort of quiet, scary, focused little girl that stares at everything. So, so right.

Russia's mannerisms, his speech pattern, his nervous ticks, all of it is so sincere and so purely little kid, it fills me with such joy. I'm staring at this pic of bitty!Russia my friend drew me for my birthday, and all I can imagine him saying is "Whats 'fornicate'?" with those cute wide purple eyes, and oh sweetie pie! SO INNOCENT! THE CUTE; IT IS OVERWHELMING. also "He’s always wondered why God seems to like big hats so much." This. It's my new favorite.

You guys' France is my headcanon France. No question.

[wizzard890]

She's just such a serious little thing, but she loves her family so much. ♥

It's always fantastic to hear that he sounds like a real kid. I live in fear of accidentally writing a child who comes off as ridiculously precocious and insincere. I'm so happy Vanya rang true for you! (I like him rather a lot, so it'd be a shame to have to change his characterization now.)

Well, that's good, because my headcanon France is Pyrrhic's. So in the end, we're all just lifting from her. XD

[pyrrhiccomedy]

Well, that's good, because my headcanon France is Pyrrhic's. So in the end, we're all just lifting from her. XD

I'm pretty sure my France is like, 1/2 Mersault and 1/4th Derrida, so like, hurray for plagiarism?

[pyrrhiccomedy]

The remaining 1/4th is smoove fantastic sex mo-chine.

[neocloud9]

Aww. That was even cuter than I expected. ;3;

[wizzard890]

Thank you so much, darling!~

[plushielover177]

Vanya stands on one leg and thinks, swaying a little. "Well, I bet I could do it too. I'm not real smart or anything, but I learn fast."

jkhsdjashdaskjda!!! WHY IS THIS IMAGE SO ADORABLE!? EVEN FRANCE CAN'T RESIST HIM!

I'm surprised there isn't more of this pairing given the huge cultural influence France had on Russia. It's one of my favorites too. Thanks so much for writing it.

[wizzard890]

I actually adore France and Russia as a pairing, because I feel like there's so much potential there, potential that they can't quite tap in to. Like, I think they're quite close as friends, and that they've been "friends with benefits" several times throughout the centuries. They could be romantically entangled, but...just not as the people they are, if that makes sense. And they sense that things could be quite lovely between them, if they were different people.

I totally think I just rambled, there. XD